I am so fucked up... [please read, EXTREMELY important]
15 years ago
Current avatar by
tavimunk
tavimunk Hi guys, I know it may seem weird that I'm posting a new journal when I haven't been on in months, but I have a whole lot of explaining to do, and I know after this I will more than likely lose most of, if not all my babyfur friends on here, but I will not feel better until I come clean about this...
I have been on here the entire time. This is not my only FA account... I have been online on-and-off on various different accounts. I won't waste you guys' time by listing all of the ones I've been, since I have a feeling it's pretty obvious to many of you, but my latest one is BabyShinyEevee. I have an extremely bad habit of pretending to be someone I'm not, and making up different personas online. Not even the Jerry most of you all 'knew' was the real me. Yes, that means that people such as Kin never existed either. I was them as well. Although some things about me were true, much of it was lies.
I want to make one thing clear: I NEVER lied to intentionally hurt anyone. Though some of you might not believe this, it is the honest-to-god truth. While some of you might assume things like I lied to get more free art from people, or I lied to stalk/troll people. This is NOT the case. Behind the screen I am a very messed up person. I don't do anything. I have very few friends in real life, and am nowhere near happy with the way I am. When I started coming on to online sites and talking to people I found I could make myself seem like 'somebody'. I wanted people to think that I was actually some person who is more than some lousy bum who does nothing but sit at the computer all day.
Also, all of the friendships I made on here were honest. I never, never lied about being friends with anyone on here. That is the entire reason I am coming clean about this. I don't want to keep hurting my friends on FA. I need to be responsible for my actions, and if it causes me to lose all of my friends then so be it! I deserve it...
Ever since 2010 began I've been working to stop my lying habits and actually come clean about what I've done. This is the last of the damage I need to undo, come clean to all my friends in the babyfur community. I realized I Can. Not. Keep. Doing. This!!! It's taking a huge toll on my emotionally and physically, while also subtly hurting my friends because they're being friends with a fake person, not a real one.
Please, please forgive me... I understand if no one can, but just please try. I will answer ANY questions anyone may have (though more private answers may be answered via note). I'll do ANYTHING to keep my friends...
I have been on here the entire time. This is not my only FA account... I have been online on-and-off on various different accounts. I won't waste you guys' time by listing all of the ones I've been, since I have a feeling it's pretty obvious to many of you, but my latest one is BabyShinyEevee. I have an extremely bad habit of pretending to be someone I'm not, and making up different personas online. Not even the Jerry most of you all 'knew' was the real me. Yes, that means that people such as Kin never existed either. I was them as well. Although some things about me were true, much of it was lies.
I want to make one thing clear: I NEVER lied to intentionally hurt anyone. Though some of you might not believe this, it is the honest-to-god truth. While some of you might assume things like I lied to get more free art from people, or I lied to stalk/troll people. This is NOT the case. Behind the screen I am a very messed up person. I don't do anything. I have very few friends in real life, and am nowhere near happy with the way I am. When I started coming on to online sites and talking to people I found I could make myself seem like 'somebody'. I wanted people to think that I was actually some person who is more than some lousy bum who does nothing but sit at the computer all day.
Also, all of the friendships I made on here were honest. I never, never lied about being friends with anyone on here. That is the entire reason I am coming clean about this. I don't want to keep hurting my friends on FA. I need to be responsible for my actions, and if it causes me to lose all of my friends then so be it! I deserve it...
Ever since 2010 began I've been working to stop my lying habits and actually come clean about what I've done. This is the last of the damage I need to undo, come clean to all my friends in the babyfur community. I realized I Can. Not. Keep. Doing. This!!! It's taking a huge toll on my emotionally and physically, while also subtly hurting my friends because they're being friends with a fake person, not a real one.
Please, please forgive me... I understand if no one can, but just please try. I will answer ANY questions anyone may have (though more private answers may be answered via note). I'll do ANYTHING to keep my friends...
FA+










*hugs the poor sicky munk*
But regardless, I'm not mad. We're just glad you're safe *huggles tightly*
-Island
And just so you know, I've made more accounts than those two, and it wasn't just on FA. Over the past three or so years I've been on and off on many different accounts, though the majority of them 'disappeared' (I lost interest in being that person).
I know how nice it is to be new somewhere, the thrill of making friends all over again.
and don't worry I am not crying for me but for you,
Oh jerry a part of me wishes you had told me sooner but another is yelling "hypocrite" at the suggestion as I too hide a great many things, I guess I should have recognized you style even though it has greatly improved and I think I already have a pretty good idea of your other accounts though I am not certine.
Another is part of me is rather disapointd in me, I knew something was wrong with how you had gone so long without so much as a peep but I kept telling myself that you were just busy and if you needed anything kin would be there for you.
I have to wonder if thats not even part of why kid came around, to help others not worry.
I hope to see you soon jerry or what ever name you desire, I will always love you.
A bit confused by what you mean by that. ^.^;
I'm very glad you came clean with this; good for you.
I appreciate your honesty. The main reason anybody may be concerned is because dual/multiple accounts go against policies at many places.
I can say that for myself, I am glad that you created your multiple accounts for purposes of self-discovery. Many people do it to milk resources, find ways to cause mass confusion, or to spam. You did it simply to explore yourself, and I have a bit of respect for that. However, you can still explore various levels of who you are without creating multiple accounts; perhaps do that instead next time.
Anyway, good for you, and keep being honest!
...Also, TN for the win.
Go TN :3
It would indeed be good to know the real you.
You've been very brave about this, and that is good. My only wish is that I can hug you through the computer screen and say I forgive you. (hugs)