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If I were an artist...
15 years ago
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This message brought to you by The Weighted Companion Cube
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...then these are the things I would make comics of because I thought of them generally while at work out of boredom. I think they're all at least a little funny myself, but let's see how they translate to people I don't know!
If you are one of the following:
then you're possibly in a few of these silly scenarios. :P
Reader's Digest - Do Not Eat
Read the Fine Print
Avereth sees a magazine and reads the cover, 'Reader's Digest'. He thinks about it for a moment and tosses his head back and drops the book into his gaping maw. A few really awkward swallows later it's gone.
Reader's Digest - Do Not Eat 2
Writer's Blockage
Later Avereth is feeling sick. It seems the Reader's Digest is giving him tummy trouble. He goes to the doctor and gets an X-ray, which reveals the book still sitting in his stomach. It also appears to be opened up and being read by what looks like the skeleton of a meerkat! The doctor is a gazelle and has an awkward moment where he reaches his whole arm down Avereth's throat to get the book.
Reader's Digest - Do Not Eat 3
Conflict of Interests
The gazelle doctor manages to pry the book out, and a meerkat is clinging to it still when it emerges slimy yet unharmed. The meerkat begs the doctor to save it, and he watches Avereth glare at him as if daring him to do it before the doctor apologizes to the meerkat and shakes it loose, causing it to fall back into the hyena's throat and be swallowed back down. The gazelle looks at the book and goes 'Aha!', pointing out the fine print says that it's the 'Herbivore Edition' and that if he wants to digest the information he has to get the 'Predator Edition'. Avereth leaves a happy hyena while all the doctor can think is 'poor meerkat!'.
On Second Thought, I Don't Want to be a Vampire
Temptations
Avereth is walking down the street and suddenly finds himself trapped in's bat's wings! Shade starts tempting Avereth into willingly becoming a vampire, talking about how he will live forever and have amazing strength and powers, and be able to prey on anyone. Avereth looks like he's going to agree, but Shade isn't done talking just yet...
On Second Thought, I Don't Want to be a Vampire 2
Better Temptations
Shade mentions how he will subsist only on blood and nothing more than perhaps the occasional sips of wine and Avereth suddenly has a change of heart at the thought of not being able to just gulp people down anymore. After a brief scuffle the hyena gets the bat into his mouth and dispatches him down his throat! It seems Avereth much prefers staying a normal hyena...at least Shade doesn't have to worry about the sun where he is now!
Damaged Goods
My snacks!
Avereth is about to have a snack of Teddy Graham when he notices the front parts of the little bear shaped crackers all seem to have been nibbled off! Not wanting to eat the strangely tummyless bears he resorts to fruit in the fridge, but once again is foiled as it seems someone bit a hunk off of all of the navel oranges! At this point's lion wanders in as Avereth finds one orange that is left unblemished and is holding a quite rounded feline belly and complains of a stomachache. When the lion sees Avereth's orange he grabs it and bites the 'navel' end off of it, and then Avereth points at the lion in anger, and a final panel has Mitch running from a hail of oranges.
Myrkat
Memnarch Approves!
Google the following for best understanding: Mirrodin, Memnarch, Myr
's meerkat Jeremy has been hard at work in the factory. It seems Memnarch has tasked him with creating the ultimate weapon. Jeremy has been toiling away to make what surely must be the ultimate in artifact weaponry. At last it is done! What emerges looks strangely reminiscent of Memnarch's own creation...the Myr. And yet, it is clearly not a Myr...but a Myrkat! The mighty Memnarch is greatly impressed and soon an entire legion of Myrkats are ready to take over Mirrodin!
It's My Drink
Yes, I Do Drink From the Bottle
notices Avereth at the fridge guzzling out of a juice bottle and angrily berates him for drinking right out of the bottle. Avereth slams the empty bottle down with enough juice dribble on his face to make it look like blood and retorts 'Nobody drinks my juice but me!'. Given the red stained crazy looking face, Mitch decides to back away slowly and leaves the room.
Surfing Kat
Board is Bored
's meerkat Jeremy needed a board to surf with, but he needed a board that could move itself! It seems he convinced Avereth to float on his back so the meerkat could surf! Avereth's looking a little bored but Jeremy appears to be having a great time standing on the hyena's belly. Off in the distance 's otter is pointing and laughing.
Annoying Orange Vs the Bat
Justice is Served
Youtube the following for best understanding: Annoying Orange
It seems my bat Venizel is at a restaurant and has ordered a fruit bowl! For some reason all of the fruit seems to be able to talk, isn't that odd? After many fruits(and fruity jokes) only a very annoying orange is left, who was making all of the corny jokes. Amid lots of complaining about the conditions inside of his belly from the other fruit Venizel finally gulps the offending orange down and lets his stomach work on finally silencing him for good.
Mr. Popo's Secret
IT'S OVER 9000!
For best understanding, Google the following: Mr. Popo
It seems the Z fighters are being defeated left and right by the evil striped hyena Vereth! All this time all Mr. Popo has been able to do is watch...uselessly not doing anything but mumbling to himself. Vereth finally confronts him and just laughs in his face, driving in just how useless he really is. Mr. Popo seems to get really angry finally and seems about to say something. Vereth eggs him on and Mr. Popo finally snaps. At that moment Mr. Popo transforms into his ultimate form, Lazorface, and before you-know-who can say 'OVER 9000' Vereth is disintegrated by a lazor. Mr. Popo has been seen only sporadically since, and always while vaporizing something.
Na'vi Vs Navi
The Ultimate Weapon
It seems nothing the marines can do will dislodge those pesky Na'vi from their precious tree! The Sarge deploys his ultimate weapon... The little pink fairy Navi flits off toward the big tree knowing she will find plenty of people to bother there! Day after day shouts of 'HEY!' and 'LISTEN!' are heard over and over as the fairy chases them around. They want to kill her...but she's a part of the forest, even if she's not from this world, so they can't! They even finally listen to her hoping she'll stop bothering them and flee the tree. But once they reach a different place, it seems Navi was never given instructions to say something new, so the torment never ends!
Creepy Doctor
Putting the FFFFF in Physical
Slightly based on a real life creepy doctor. (he really said these things...) D:
It seems Avereth's due for everyone's least favorite doctor visit: the physical! The hyena has to endure being poked and prodded, enduring having the doctor pressing and prodding at his belly while saying 'What's in theeeere?! What's in theeeere?!' in some sort of almost oyer excited voice for entirely too long. The now grumpy hyena gets to the worst part and has to drop his pants, and the first thing he hears out of the doctor is an appraising sounding 'Very nice!'. He only endures the ensuing ball fondling for a moment before jumping on and eating the doctor. The only thing the heavy bellied hyena has to say then is 'I guess yoooou're in there!'.
Katbar
It's Delicious!
Introducing the Katbar! A delicious protein bar just for preds like you! Low in fat and high in Raaaage! Open it up and it's so hard core it will insult your mother and call you wimpy! But once you bite it in half and feel that intestinal goodness flood your mouth, you know there's nothing like crunching down a Katbar! Get yours today at the Live Food Market!(LFM)™
Katbar Take 2
It's Refreshing!
You ever wanted a scent that attracts the lady preds from miles around? Something that gives others an appetite for meat, and maybe a little more? Well what you need is the Katbar! Pop off the cap and you'll get fresh insults every time! But as if that was enough, rub it under your arms, or anywhere else you want to smell enticing, and let that scent bring the ladies to you! Once the bait has been taken, treat them to your delicious used Kat covered in your scent and make it so if they want to continue this dinner date they're going to have to take your clothes off to get more of that Katbar smell! Katbar: if your grandfather hadn't used it, you wouldn't be here!*
*Might actually be a phrase that is ™ Old Spice
Hyena is My Favorite Drink
How Did You Even Get In Here?
It seems Avereth is getting some blood drawn for standard tests. But it also appears that's bat Shade has snuck into the lab as well! When Avereth's blood is supposed to be going into a vial the bat is actually sucking the end of the intravenous tube himself! He's so engrossed in the act he doesn't even notice Avereth passing out in the chair!
Color Coded For Flavor?
Blue Otter is Not Blueberry
's otter Bingo is a very blue otter! Avereth has never seen a blue otter before and simply has to find out if blue otters have special flavors! Bingo can only watch in terror as the hyena pounces on him and starts licking him to see if he tastes like blueberry. Upon realizing he doesn't Avereth seems disappointed and communicates as much to Bingo. Bingo asks if he can be let go now but Avereth seems to have other plans. It's not long before the otter is panting on the ground as the hyena licks his navel, and then while his guard is down Avereth swallows him!
And that's the whole list, wow. Perhaps some day I will be able to make comics out of all of them. :)
If you are one of the following:
then you're possibly in a few of these silly scenarios. :PReader's Digest - Do Not Eat
Read the Fine Print
Avereth sees a magazine and reads the cover, 'Reader's Digest'. He thinks about it for a moment and tosses his head back and drops the book into his gaping maw. A few really awkward swallows later it's gone.
Reader's Digest - Do Not Eat 2
Writer's Blockage
Later Avereth is feeling sick. It seems the Reader's Digest is giving him tummy trouble. He goes to the doctor and gets an X-ray, which reveals the book still sitting in his stomach. It also appears to be opened up and being read by what looks like the skeleton of a meerkat! The doctor is a gazelle and has an awkward moment where he reaches his whole arm down Avereth's throat to get the book.
Reader's Digest - Do Not Eat 3
Conflict of Interests
The gazelle doctor manages to pry the book out, and a meerkat is clinging to it still when it emerges slimy yet unharmed. The meerkat begs the doctor to save it, and he watches Avereth glare at him as if daring him to do it before the doctor apologizes to the meerkat and shakes it loose, causing it to fall back into the hyena's throat and be swallowed back down. The gazelle looks at the book and goes 'Aha!', pointing out the fine print says that it's the 'Herbivore Edition' and that if he wants to digest the information he has to get the 'Predator Edition'. Avereth leaves a happy hyena while all the doctor can think is 'poor meerkat!'.
On Second Thought, I Don't Want to be a Vampire
Temptations
Avereth is walking down the street and suddenly finds himself trapped in
's bat's wings! Shade starts tempting Avereth into willingly becoming a vampire, talking about how he will live forever and have amazing strength and powers, and be able to prey on anyone. Avereth looks like he's going to agree, but Shade isn't done talking just yet...On Second Thought, I Don't Want to be a Vampire 2
Better Temptations
Shade mentions how he will subsist only on blood and nothing more than perhaps the occasional sips of wine and Avereth suddenly has a change of heart at the thought of not being able to just gulp people down anymore. After a brief scuffle the hyena gets the bat into his mouth and dispatches him down his throat! It seems Avereth much prefers staying a normal hyena...at least Shade doesn't have to worry about the sun where he is now!
Damaged Goods
My snacks!
Avereth is about to have a snack of Teddy Graham when he notices the front parts of the little bear shaped crackers all seem to have been nibbled off! Not wanting to eat the strangely tummyless bears he resorts to fruit in the fridge, but once again is foiled as it seems someone bit a hunk off of all of the navel oranges! At this point
's lion wanders in as Avereth finds one orange that is left unblemished and is holding a quite rounded feline belly and complains of a stomachache. When the lion sees Avereth's orange he grabs it and bites the 'navel' end off of it, and then Avereth points at the lion in anger, and a final panel has Mitch running from a hail of oranges.Myrkat
Memnarch Approves!
Google the following for best understanding: Mirrodin, Memnarch, Myr
's meerkat Jeremy has been hard at work in the factory. It seems Memnarch has tasked him with creating the ultimate weapon. Jeremy has been toiling away to make what surely must be the ultimate in artifact weaponry. At last it is done! What emerges looks strangely reminiscent of Memnarch's own creation...the Myr. And yet, it is clearly not a Myr...but a Myrkat! The mighty Memnarch is greatly impressed and soon an entire legion of Myrkats are ready to take over Mirrodin!It's My Drink
Yes, I Do Drink From the Bottle
notices Avereth at the fridge guzzling out of a juice bottle and angrily berates him for drinking right out of the bottle. Avereth slams the empty bottle down with enough juice dribble on his face to make it look like blood and retorts 'Nobody drinks my juice but me!'. Given the red stained crazy looking face, Mitch decides to back away slowly and leaves the room.Surfing Kat
Board is Bored
's meerkat Jeremy needed a board to surf with, but he needed a board that could move itself! It seems he convinced Avereth to float on his back so the meerkat could surf! Avereth's looking a little bored but Jeremy appears to be having a great time standing on the hyena's belly. Off in the distance 's otter is pointing and laughing.Annoying Orange Vs the Bat
Justice is Served
Youtube the following for best understanding: Annoying Orange
It seems my bat Venizel is at a restaurant and has ordered a fruit bowl! For some reason all of the fruit seems to be able to talk, isn't that odd? After many fruits(and fruity jokes) only a very annoying orange is left, who was making all of the corny jokes. Amid lots of complaining about the conditions inside of his belly from the other fruit Venizel finally gulps the offending orange down and lets his stomach work on finally silencing him for good.
Mr. Popo's Secret
IT'S OVER 9000!
For best understanding, Google the following: Mr. Popo
It seems the Z fighters are being defeated left and right by the evil striped hyena Vereth! All this time all Mr. Popo has been able to do is watch...uselessly not doing anything but mumbling to himself. Vereth finally confronts him and just laughs in his face, driving in just how useless he really is. Mr. Popo seems to get really angry finally and seems about to say something. Vereth eggs him on and Mr. Popo finally snaps. At that moment Mr. Popo transforms into his ultimate form, Lazorface, and before you-know-who can say 'OVER 9000' Vereth is disintegrated by a lazor. Mr. Popo has been seen only sporadically since, and always while vaporizing something.
Na'vi Vs Navi
The Ultimate Weapon
It seems nothing the marines can do will dislodge those pesky Na'vi from their precious tree! The Sarge deploys his ultimate weapon... The little pink fairy Navi flits off toward the big tree knowing she will find plenty of people to bother there! Day after day shouts of 'HEY!' and 'LISTEN!' are heard over and over as the fairy chases them around. They want to kill her...but she's a part of the forest, even if she's not from this world, so they can't! They even finally listen to her hoping she'll stop bothering them and flee the tree. But once they reach a different place, it seems Navi was never given instructions to say something new, so the torment never ends!
Creepy Doctor
Putting the FFFFF in Physical
Slightly based on a real life creepy doctor. (he really said these things...) D:
It seems Avereth's due for everyone's least favorite doctor visit: the physical! The hyena has to endure being poked and prodded, enduring having the doctor pressing and prodding at his belly while saying 'What's in theeeere?! What's in theeeere?!' in some sort of almost oyer excited voice for entirely too long. The now grumpy hyena gets to the worst part and has to drop his pants, and the first thing he hears out of the doctor is an appraising sounding 'Very nice!'. He only endures the ensuing ball fondling for a moment before jumping on and eating the doctor. The only thing the heavy bellied hyena has to say then is 'I guess yoooou're in there!'.
Katbar
It's Delicious!
Introducing the Katbar! A delicious protein bar just for preds like you! Low in fat and high in Raaaage! Open it up and it's so hard core it will insult your mother and call you wimpy! But once you bite it in half and feel that intestinal goodness flood your mouth, you know there's nothing like crunching down a Katbar! Get yours today at the Live Food Market!(LFM)™
Katbar Take 2
It's Refreshing!
You ever wanted a scent that attracts the lady preds from miles around? Something that gives others an appetite for meat, and maybe a little more? Well what you need is the Katbar! Pop off the cap and you'll get fresh insults every time! But as if that was enough, rub it under your arms, or anywhere else you want to smell enticing, and let that scent bring the ladies to you! Once the bait has been taken, treat them to your delicious used Kat covered in your scent and make it so if they want to continue this dinner date they're going to have to take your clothes off to get more of that Katbar smell! Katbar: if your grandfather hadn't used it, you wouldn't be here!*
*Might actually be a phrase that is ™ Old Spice
Hyena is My Favorite Drink
How Did You Even Get In Here?
It seems Avereth is getting some blood drawn for standard tests. But it also appears that
's bat Shade has snuck into the lab as well! When Avereth's blood is supposed to be going into a vial the bat is actually sucking the end of the intravenous tube himself! He's so engrossed in the act he doesn't even notice Avereth passing out in the chair!Color Coded For Flavor?
Blue Otter is Not Blueberry
's otter Bingo is a very blue otter! Avereth has never seen a blue otter before and simply has to find out if blue otters have special flavors! Bingo can only watch in terror as the hyena pounces on him and starts licking him to see if he tastes like blueberry. Upon realizing he doesn't Avereth seems disappointed and communicates as much to Bingo. Bingo asks if he can be let go now but Avereth seems to have other plans. It's not long before the otter is panting on the ground as the hyena licks his navel, and then while his guard is down Avereth swallows him!And that's the whole list, wow. Perhaps some day I will be able to make comics out of all of them. :)
I would apply for that job ^_^;
*reads the rest*
Interesting interesting... *g*
Though the idea of a meerkat kept in there all the time somehow is funny. XD
And it can be way more than just beeing funny ;)
These ideas are amazing. As for Mr. Popo, look up Team Fourstar. They did Dragon Ball Z the Abridged series, and it is amazing. XD
I'll have to see what these people have done to Mr. Popo...maybe they made him a drug dealer! :o
Some of the names I thought up for these comics are awesome. :D
Oh, believe me, I have. >:3 They're the best part! All honey-flavored. <3
Nah, I think you'll like what you see of it though. Abridged series shows FTW! :3
I know, keep coming up with more names, people want to steal them, I see. :3
So maaaybe regular green works better for you.
Hah! I knew you had to have had those! I actually have never had one myself... XD
I'm currently trying to think of what to name one involving Jeremy where Ave sees him relaxing with a full stomach and begins unprovoked bellyrubs, getting Jeremy to say 'hey careful not so rough! Don't agitate it even more!', followed by making a strained face and then having 5 or 6 inches worth of an extremely large and menacing centipede emerge writhing out of his mouth. Ave ends up clinging to a ceiling light with 'LEGS' repeating over and over due to the centipede.
Oh another that would involve Jeremy would point out the problems of being capable of navel vore when Jeremy bolts down a snake and ends up having it push its head back out through his navel and start swallowing his tail, which causes Jeremy to go 'oh crap...', and then it cuts to Ave just watching Jeremy dissapear into the snake, followed by cramming the snake into his own navel. :9
That idea... Oh jeez, that's hilarious. XD In fact, both of them are. I love how crazy our characters have ended up being in these fantasy worlds we've created. :3 Mmm... Navel vore. X3
Worse yet on that second idea, the snake could literally start voring him head first, and, breaking his back in the process, pull the meerkat fairly back into his own navel, ending up being more of a meerkat-colored ball at the end. Ave could giggle and pretend to have an outie before his navel then noms both meerkat and snake back down. :3
Also, I started writing a random story about Ave and Mitch the other night. I dunno when it'll be done, but expect it someday. :3
I actually thought about the effects of the snake grabbing him by the head briefly. XD
Oh you found the writing spirit? Lucky. X3
Lawlllll. XD Awesomeness.
Yush, briefly. Must get back to writiiiiing. D:
It would be a shock if anyone else wanted to draw them without money. I'm not sure if too many of my watchers are in that sort of drawing mastery bunch or even reading my journals. :o,
The vampire one I only recently thought up, it just sounded like exactly what Ave would do to avoid becoming a vampire. XD
You NEVER hear of the vampire being the one who ends up preyed on!
*shocked face!* but what of a weasel in need of his 'yena snugglings! D:
Luckily Avereths are much better at snuggling! *clings to weasel*
Hmm it would be nice if I had my writing ki8ck back so I could finish a trade and get back to active RP to resume stuff. I miss a certain bat character.
and we all know you hyena-kin love snuggling a cute and dook-filled weasel even if to death ;)
Distorter juust for some reason begs to be eaten... :9
I love snuggling most everything!
.....and its also a bat thing ;) lol