Well.. this is one of the two days of the year where I flat out allow myself to be Emo..

As very few of you know. I am a father... Yes I have living flesh, and blood child. But on July 18th was one of the last times I saw him.... He was a year and a half at the time...

My son: Marcus Jasper Roberts, was born on January 7th, 2007 at 8:45am in Buffalo, Wyoming via C-section. He weighted 6 pounds 8 ounces. On Jan 11th practically to the minute.... DFS [Department of Family Services] basically burst in, and ripped him from mine, his mother, and her husband's arms. Yes I was in a polygamous relationship. That was one of the main reasons that they didn't allow us to keep him. Another was that we were practically homeless... I had a RV we lived in... But by 11am that morning we had a 2 bedroom trailer.... I got him back 3 days later, but for the next year.... I had to deal with DFS, Cops, Child Advocacy, and a few more agency bursting into my house randomly. In mid April he was taken away from us again cause one of our cats was sleeping under his changing table... *Sighs soflty8 many many other fun fights with them. Long court battles, long fights with the government.....

So fast forward to July 18th 2008: The night before... I had a huge fight with my mate, and the rest of my 'family' cause I don't feel its the right thing. I feel the house is falling apart, and that its not the right place for my son.... So the next morning as I am giving him breakfast, and his mom comes out. *sighs* Lets just.. shorten this... There is a fight... And one of the last moments of me seeing my son is of me putting my paws on his cheeks as he is crying, and I am too... Telling him it will be ok. I look to our other roommate.. Ask him to please get my son to daycare.....

That same day I get to work, and my manager hears this. She basically lays down the money for a apartment.... So when I goto the trailer to get my stuff... the cops are called, and make the discussion to put him in foster care.

So for the next month.... I make the fight of getting to see him for a hour a week, and break down, and do what is best for him... I talk to his mother, and tell him we can't keep this up.. Cause we both know that the people of that small town would never let us be the parents we can be. So.... Shortly before the end of August I sign the official paperwork surrendering my son to the state of Wyoming.

I know for a fact he went to a good family, and they love him as much as I do. They changed his name, and well... I never seen him since...

So July 18th, and January 8th.... Are two days that I will.. just. be out of it... I apologize now to you all now. I love you all, and remember: A parent must do what is best.... and if that is the most painful thing for the parent.

I just want to have a drink.... *looks at empty wallet*