i was forced to break up with  feathery ...despite how deeply i love him i was destroying my relationship with him...i was suffering from something i have come to call "Long Distance Madness" and it had caused me to degenerate in to a loathsome creature that not even i would want as a friend...let alone a mate...in the grips of the madness i had said hurtful things and was in danger of not only losing him as a mate but as a friend as well...worse yet...try as i mite i could not stop myself from saying these things...so i had to break up with him and hopefully salvage whats left of our friendship before i completely destroyed it...i would rather lose him as a mate than lose him as a friend...feathery is an amazing and remarkable person to know...if ya don't believe me just talk to him for a bit...you will be glad you did.

Those of you who have experienced this madness know what it is like...but for those of you who haven't i will give a description of it at the end of my journal.

Anyway...if there is one thing that i truly hate..it is when a relationship goes so badly that it ruins a friendship *crescent moon mark flashes and i am transformed into Kefka from Final Fantasy3/6...tho crescent moon mark is still there*

I hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate HATE it when such a tragedy occurs
*reverts back to hippiemouse*
To coin an old adage...if you truly love something...set it free...if it comes back then it was meant to be.

I love that groovy red headed blue falcon deeper than i have ever loved anyone before...but i cant be his mate while so far away....i am not emotionally or mentally equipped for it...i wish i was but since i am not we had to part as mates if there was to be any hope for a future for us....someday i will move to Canada and if i haven't already destroyed the love he felt for me then perhaps he and i can give being mates another shot...but for now...i just can not be a long distance mate to him...or anyone for that matter....i would ruin it as i started to do with feathery.


Long Distance Madness: A type of insanity brought about by lack of contact in a long distance relationship....commonly suffered by individuals who posses an extremely affectionate and caring nature.
Symptoms include (but are not limited to) obsessive clingyness,increased paranoia,decrease in the ability to trust,irritability,an emo like depression and thoughts, irrational anger over the most trivial of things,an obsessive need to know the events of the other persons day and an emotional instability which can lead to panic attacks and nervous breakdowns.