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MFF redux, part three: The Humiliating...
15 years ago
Some day I'd really like a professionally designed laser gun prop for LaserWolf, something akin to what marymouse drew on his original character sheet. For the moment, he has the prop I devised for him for Orlando Fringe... a Nerf gun which shoots little green balls, which I spraypainted red. On Saturday, the thing was jammed and wouldn't fire at all. Not that it would have mattered; I wasn't going to take a chance on losing any of the balls. It was all I could do just to race out of Max's show, up to my room, put on Laser, grab the prop, and head back down to the main hall for the beginning of the fursuit parade.
It's kind of weird for me to inhabit Laser to begin with. I designed him for others to portray, not me. I see him as much younger, much thinner, more athletic, and with a more authentic East Coast accent than I'm able to do. But at the moment he's my only fursuit, and I wasn't going to pass up an opportunity to put him in the parade. So I bravely put myself through that rigor, and once I got the hang of breathing through my mouth to keep cool, I was in the zone. Laser's not the flashiest character, but he did get his share of positive attention. "Hey, are you James Bond?" Not yet, but I'm workin' on it!, I shouted back. "Hey, are you Jewish?" I'm actually a Gentile, but, eh, show business, whaddya do?
I survived the whole route and ended up way in the back for the group photo, which I haven't yet seen. I'm probably just a tiny dot. But it didn't matter, because I knew I'd done it. I'd had the authentic furry experience, and I was feeling good. I decided to go visit Mary in the dealer's den and thank her again for making all this possible for me.
"HEY, YOU! Wolf with the Nerf gun!"
It took me a second to realize that this was being shouted by con security. And another half-second to realize that they meant me. It was the first time anyone has ever addressed me as "wolf with the Nerf gun".
"Get rid of the gun! Right now!"
What? Was I carrying contraband, without realizing it? I'll go put it in my room, I said sheepishly. "DO THAT!", he said, as if to make my suggestion his order. I didn't have time to think. I just turned around and slunk back up to my room to deposit this object which had suddenly become this big point of contention.
It actually is in the rules, it turns out, as I found out once I got home and pored through the entire con book. And they apparently have a very low tolerance for this kind of thing. Now, the thing I want to get across is that I've not been a terribly mischeivous person. I've not gone through life trying to "get away" with things, and I have a guilty conscience about the smallest slights. This hit me hard, mostly because I knew I didn't have an excuse in the world. I had always planned on carrying the gun in the fursuit parade. I had posted it here. I had posted it on my personal blog. I had posted it on Facebook! No one warned me there might be a problem, and it certainly didn't occur to me.
And then, miraculously, I'd done the entire parade route without incident, waving that damn Nerf gun around everywhere. And as poetic justice, I get busted as I'm about to enter a room where they're selling actual Samurai swords. Did I mean to hurt or annoy anyone? God, no. Did I break a rule? I sure did. And I felt sick about it. It was compounded by the horrifying idea that I might have based this entire character on a falsehood. If LaserWolf couldn't have a laser, what was he even doing in my musical? Was I going to have to delete the character which made my show work? Was this whole furry pursuit an embarrassing dead end?
I forced myself to suit up and go out one more time later that evening, sans gun, natch, and I'm glad I did, but I was genuinely scared. What if security decided to confront me about my appearance in the parade (which of course is now all over YouTube)? I realize now that they probably had bigger issues than to worry about a situation which had defused itself hours previously, but I carried the guilt with me. I was waiting for some further punishment. It never came, if you don't count my self-flaggelation. Less than two weeks previously, I'd been a respected authority figure, an adjudicator for a state-wide, school-sanctioned event; now I was just a troublesome guy in a wolf suit who wished he could just disappear. It bothered me that much.
Though he wasn't at the con, I confessed all of this to or3o; he was a big help in helping me pull my head out of my ass. He also told me about things like holsters and peacebonding and just checking ahead with con security, things you can be assured I would do next time. He also assured me (as did :iinktwitchdawoof: ) that this sort of thing is practically a rite of passage; most of the fursuiters who have inspired me have had their own run-ins with security, some considerably more harrowing than mine, and had lived to tell the tale. This, of all things, had been my "authentic furry experience".
Still... next year, I gotta get a Rhubarb suit. I don't think a toy piano counts as a weapon. But let me check with security first.
It's kind of weird for me to inhabit Laser to begin with. I designed him for others to portray, not me. I see him as much younger, much thinner, more athletic, and with a more authentic East Coast accent than I'm able to do. But at the moment he's my only fursuit, and I wasn't going to pass up an opportunity to put him in the parade. So I bravely put myself through that rigor, and once I got the hang of breathing through my mouth to keep cool, I was in the zone. Laser's not the flashiest character, but he did get his share of positive attention. "Hey, are you James Bond?" Not yet, but I'm workin' on it!, I shouted back. "Hey, are you Jewish?" I'm actually a Gentile, but, eh, show business, whaddya do?
I survived the whole route and ended up way in the back for the group photo, which I haven't yet seen. I'm probably just a tiny dot. But it didn't matter, because I knew I'd done it. I'd had the authentic furry experience, and I was feeling good. I decided to go visit Mary in the dealer's den and thank her again for making all this possible for me.
"HEY, YOU! Wolf with the Nerf gun!"
It took me a second to realize that this was being shouted by con security. And another half-second to realize that they meant me. It was the first time anyone has ever addressed me as "wolf with the Nerf gun".
"Get rid of the gun! Right now!"
What? Was I carrying contraband, without realizing it? I'll go put it in my room, I said sheepishly. "DO THAT!", he said, as if to make my suggestion his order. I didn't have time to think. I just turned around and slunk back up to my room to deposit this object which had suddenly become this big point of contention.
It actually is in the rules, it turns out, as I found out once I got home and pored through the entire con book. And they apparently have a very low tolerance for this kind of thing. Now, the thing I want to get across is that I've not been a terribly mischeivous person. I've not gone through life trying to "get away" with things, and I have a guilty conscience about the smallest slights. This hit me hard, mostly because I knew I didn't have an excuse in the world. I had always planned on carrying the gun in the fursuit parade. I had posted it here. I had posted it on my personal blog. I had posted it on Facebook! No one warned me there might be a problem, and it certainly didn't occur to me.
And then, miraculously, I'd done the entire parade route without incident, waving that damn Nerf gun around everywhere. And as poetic justice, I get busted as I'm about to enter a room where they're selling actual Samurai swords. Did I mean to hurt or annoy anyone? God, no. Did I break a rule? I sure did. And I felt sick about it. It was compounded by the horrifying idea that I might have based this entire character on a falsehood. If LaserWolf couldn't have a laser, what was he even doing in my musical? Was I going to have to delete the character which made my show work? Was this whole furry pursuit an embarrassing dead end?
I forced myself to suit up and go out one more time later that evening, sans gun, natch, and I'm glad I did, but I was genuinely scared. What if security decided to confront me about my appearance in the parade (which of course is now all over YouTube)? I realize now that they probably had bigger issues than to worry about a situation which had defused itself hours previously, but I carried the guilt with me. I was waiting for some further punishment. It never came, if you don't count my self-flaggelation. Less than two weeks previously, I'd been a respected authority figure, an adjudicator for a state-wide, school-sanctioned event; now I was just a troublesome guy in a wolf suit who wished he could just disappear. It bothered me that much.
Though he wasn't at the con, I confessed all of this to or3o; he was a big help in helping me pull my head out of my ass. He also told me about things like holsters and peacebonding and just checking ahead with con security, things you can be assured I would do next time. He also assured me (as did :iinktwitchdawoof: ) that this sort of thing is practically a rite of passage; most of the fursuiters who have inspired me have had their own run-ins with security, some considerably more harrowing than mine, and had lived to tell the tale. This, of all things, had been my "authentic furry experience".
Still... next year, I gotta get a Rhubarb suit. I don't think a toy piano counts as a weapon. But let me check with security first.
As for the gun, I can't argue with policy, but it could have been handled less rudely then that. All cons have their own rules, each differing from the next, and sometimes crap happens that just wasn't intended. Let it roll off your shoulders as one of those embarrassing "TSA" airport security moments, where grumpy security is just doing its job with nothing personal attached.
Missouri’s Furries™ no-weapons policy banns any potentially hazardous or deadly weapons (i.e. Knives/swords, Firearms, Airsoft, paintball, fireworks/explosives, slingshots, tazers, etc.), However, TOYS and PROPS that are allowed, are based on the digression of security. The general rule is, if the average person can easily tell that it's NOT a REAL potentially threatening weapon from a distance, it's OK. In other words, an oversize bright red ball-popping nerf gun should be 100% fine to bring. Those Ninja swords though.... WTF are they thinking? Double standard much? LOL ^__^
I laughed waaaaaay too hard at this.
Sometimes con security, particularly that group that does security at all sorts of cons, forgets that they're the only ones that know all the rules that well, and so gets mad at everyone else for not knowing better. :/
I remember years ago I got mugged twice, and later on I couldn't make any kind of identification to the police. Ever since then I've kept thinking to myself "next time this happens, get a good look at them and remember every feature you can!" But that instinct didn't kick in here. Eh, it's all in the past now, better things are in store for me.
I THINK there were two others in the parade well before you who also had Nerf guns. So, don't feel bad about accidentally breaking a rule of which you were not aware. Shake it off, big guy!
And, I STILL am amazed we didn't recognize each other! I watched one of the parade videos again and you were stopped literally right next to me as the quadriped in front of you had stopped. I think you and I were both watching him/her and didn't even realize we were a paws-length away. I so would have bear hugged you right off the floor!!!
Next time, wolf buddy. Next time...
~Max
I'm also thinking next year we should find a grassy area not too far from the hotel - but definitely out of "con boundaries" - and stage an epic Nerf gun fight! Ya in?
Am I in for a Nerf gun fight? Game on, Wolf Buddy! You better be bringin' your A game, 'cause this big bad bear plays rough (bear wonders to himself if he should mention the rediculous accuracy at the target range during police academy training...nah...let the wolf find that out in the heat of battle...)