I'm going to explain what's going on, and I hope you all understand.

and I have not been getting along very well for the past while. This is not because we hate eachother, or are falling out of love with eachother. For the past 3 years of dating, we have been thousands of miles apart. When we're together, which is rare as it costs a lot to visit eachother, we hardly ever argue. And if we do, it's solved quickly, it's never anything big. On-line, we keep getting stressed over and over and over again. We argue over stupid shit. Not because we hate eachother, but because we're very miserable being unable to be together. I live in the US, he lives in Canada. I'm 20, he's 25, I have years to spare, his years are sneaking up on him. I can't get a job, I promised I would have one within a year. That was 3 years ago. I still don't have one.
He's a social person, being alone is driving him slowly more insane. We're both miserable about this. We want to be with eachother, and odds are making it nearly impossible.
We've been snapping for less and less important reasons, and now it's on the last limb.
Mal is stressed overly right now because I proposed we have a trial seperation for a few months, to get our lives together and see if we can get back together later on. I'm going to visit him one last time before the seperation.
Last night, we were loving and laughing and happy. The days before, we were miserable and scared of what was going to happen. If someone would find another person and move on, if someone got left behind.
Today was probably a result of that stress. We're trying to fix this, as I've said, these things never happen when we're together, EVER.

So....

Don't hate Mal, or me, and I know it seems silly for this to keep going, but I'm hoping with a trial seperation we will both be able to find out something about ourselves, wether we move on or grow a stronger bond with less fighting, we don't know. I hope for the bond to happen, I really do. I want my old Mal back, who has stuck with me through all my hard times, and taught me to push for victory.
And I might lose him in trying to gain him back.
Sorry for bringing it all in public, I needed him to see the issue, he's seen it, and after a long discussion and a bit of problems, we've resolved and calmed. He feels horrible, I still feel a little shitty, but I remember how happy we are when we're together, and I scorn the internet and distance for turning us both into children.


And to be honest. With all these fights. with him going insane. With me feeling like the scum of the earth for not working hard enough.
I doubt this relationship will work.

Hun. I'm going to say this one more time. This is your last chance. Stop hiding, stop getting pissed off, and let us enjoy our possibly last trip together. We can end this or come out stronger, but if you keep panicking like this, I have to end it early.