My name is Indira Dharni. I live in Manchester, England.

There is no such person as Nequ. Eulalie Quentin does not exist, not even as a pseudonym belonging to a real person.

Actually, it's more like an entire Marketing research team.

A few years ago, a group of marketing interns fresh out of college was hired by a certain marketing company. They call us into a meeting, where they tell us to discuss unconventional marketing techniques. Everyone in the industry was still flush off the success of ILoveBees, and viral marketing was the next big thing.

They tell us to "think outside the box," parroting every brainless middle-management peon since the beginning of time. (I was half-expecting them to talk about moved cheese next).

Someone found a website called TVTropes.

After we all lost a few days, we focused on a page called Playing with a Trope. It deals with twisting common cliches, with an emphasis on narrative ones.

Have a quick skim through the gallery, would you? Notice anything?

The actual writing and art was outsourced to several people, with some of us contributing and editing from time to time. A frightening amount of gun research has gone into some of the stories, most notably B-Snakes. We were all hoping the police or MI5 wouldn't come up in the lift, hold up our Google records, and go "we need you all to come with us, please".

I'm pretty sure we're not the only such team. I've noticed patterns. Maybe there are others in the company. Maybe it's another company altogether. Maybe it's just regular furries skilled at talking themselves up, but think about all the furries you've never met, which is, statistically, most of them. Any seemed oddly evasive about their personal life? And if you've met them, did they seem a bit stiff? Like they were reading lines from a script, perhaps?

I think we've drifted from our original charter, not that it was very clear to begin with.

We all sound a little bit more American than we did before we started.

Boss is some higher-up's overpaid, underqualified kid. I'm not sure if the berk is qualified to work the cash register at Tesco. The type that wears popped collars when he goes to the club, and rests his hands on the girls' shoulders just a little too long to be professional. I walked in on him having a little personal time, with some furry porn open in front of him, and scooted before he noticed. One thing about looking at a computer screen in a darkened office is that it completely ruins your night vision so you don't notice a 20-something Indian woman who didn't expect to be doing this with her Marketing degree walking in to grab a folder from her cubicle, pausing, and then getting the thing and exiting as quickly as possible. I think it's not just a project for him anymore. It's personal. That seems dangerous.

The project has become self-sustaining. No one has any idea who we would report it to.

Remember last year's April Fools? There was talk of a book. We seriously considered publishing a book under yet another pseudonym, making it a pseudonym, to disguise a pseudonym, to disguise a fake name.

Yes, I know what you're thinking. "It's not enough. We need to go deeper." Old meme.

You know that whole "air of mystery" bollocks? The teasing answers, the hints? How many other furries you know tried to market themselves to you, do you know? Put out the equivalent of teaser trailers? Clever, wasn't it? It was my idea.

And that's why I'm doing this.

You lot actually care about this rot, about the persona, about the stories. They're good stories for what they are, don't get me wrong, but the person writing them isn't real. I've had to write some of that nonsense, and it gradually started to sink in that you aren't a "market". You aren't a "test group".

I'll try to answer your questions, as long as I can keep hold of the account.

Maybe I'll start writing a book when they black-ball me.