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Ramblings of a confused and needing to think on things..
14 years ago
***Read at your own risk***
SO here we are a little over a month and half since FE. It was good. Things seemed to work smoother and better then the first year, and everyone seemed to have a good time. SO it will all happen again in less then 11 months time.
Thats not what I want to ramble about here....
Well I have been thinking on alot of things as of late. Perhaps thinking too much as I am not getting good sleep with things I have to think about.
There are many issues, and some I will not get into here on the Journal. Other things have to do with me personally and what I have to think on.
My Doctor seems to have been to a seminar about "Stomach stapling, or stomach by pass" She thinks cause of my Osteoarthritis and Rheumatoid Arthritis in my lets and knee's and feet and even toes that I am a candidate about getting it done. She says its not paid for yet from the government, but its possibly will be soon, and I am a candidate for it.
Thats something I never though about. I mean 5 years ago I was diagnosed with Diabetes Type 2. Almost not caught in time either. Glad my heart is healthy for a over weight guy. Yes my Blood Glucose was over 45.5 when the normal is 7. At first my Doc was very frightened about it, but since my body seemed to be ok, other then my feet and ankles. That I would stop eating sugar, and diet. I was at 440 lbs at the time. yes very large. It freaked me big time. So I needed to do what was said. Thankfully the pills were enough to bring it down. I went from a 45.5 reading to a 11 reading in less then 2 weeks. Which to her was superb. down to 320 now.
Well that was a good thing, but after that for the past 4 years I have been having issues with feet not working right. I have also Bursitis in the 2nd and 3rd toes on the right foot. So can't bend them easily. We tried using Cortisone and it didn't work. So we tried Flexiril, and anti inflammatory. Boy was that a mistake, cause the last year I was having issues with my Red blood cell count. It seems normal is 2.24, I was 1.12, which is way low. Meaning I was bleeding internally, not a major bleeding, but enough over time it was becoming a problem. Oh yeah gotta make sure I mention that I have to take a B12 shot every month as I don't absorb it, also take Vitamin D, and Iron Supplements as I am anemic to iron.
So I was take off of the only things keeping me going, and relatively pain free. I was even beginning to exercise on a tread mill. Slow at first. So when I went off the pills. For 2 weeks I was having issues. Various pains coming back. SO I went back to the Doc's and she suggested going from the anti inflammatory pills, with pain killers to something else. Well those pills I have been taking for a good 2 months, and they almost don't do anything. I have another doc appointment next week and I need to think on alot of things.
Do I go through the role of getting the procedure done? Spend 3 months recovering, and eating nothing but jello and soft foods, then try and see if I can eat more solid foods. Probably been in pain from the procedure as well. She says its gonna be at least 5 years of eating very little, and keeping myself from going back to eating bad things again. I know of a person who went through it, and it took her almost a year to start eating breads, and cereals, and finally meats.
Could I keep up to the sure will power I would need to go through with that? I don't know... I really don't know.
I need a support group for at least a year to help me through it. I would need help with things all through that year.
Can I get that support? I probably can, but it still means going through with it, and not working at least for a few months, no income at all....I don't think I can do that......
I need to figure out the long run things that the pro's and con's will give me. I need to think about things at home. I know that I need to get some dental work done. I know I need to also starting eating healthier, but its hard to get myself motivated to make the healthy meals. I can cook, and I can make things tasty, but I can't cook like that every day, that's the kinda commitment that I know I need to fix.
Yes I am rambling, but I needed to put this down in writing. I needed to check on these things.
I have also been having very vivid dreams, and they are none to nice either. I would rather dream a fancy dream, then ones that feel so real like these have been. Its hard to explain the dreams as I don't know if I should.
I know what is in my heart, and I know most would scoff at it, and I know most would think I am crazy. You hear about alot of people thinking they were this or that in another life. Well I have relived in my dreams hundreds of life times. Too many to count really. I wake at times where I don't know where I am. My heart beating like a jack hammer. Yet the dream fades so fast, and its hard to write down. Usually by the time I get to, its mostly gone, and garbage.
Yes I rambled onto something else again. Thats the thoughts running through my head. I can't focus at times. Perhaps its the pills I am taking now, but I wasn't like that with the others. The others I wasn't having such vivid dreams either.
*sigh* Well thats the ramblings of a dragon. This body is slowly (or quickly) fading into the shadows. I am experiencing things most experience when they are in there 60's or older. I am only 43...
Ah well. enjoy the ramblings, and if your gonna respond negatively, you should give a good reason why.
SO here we are a little over a month and half since FE. It was good. Things seemed to work smoother and better then the first year, and everyone seemed to have a good time. SO it will all happen again in less then 11 months time.
Thats not what I want to ramble about here....
Well I have been thinking on alot of things as of late. Perhaps thinking too much as I am not getting good sleep with things I have to think about.
There are many issues, and some I will not get into here on the Journal. Other things have to do with me personally and what I have to think on.
My Doctor seems to have been to a seminar about "Stomach stapling, or stomach by pass" She thinks cause of my Osteoarthritis and Rheumatoid Arthritis in my lets and knee's and feet and even toes that I am a candidate about getting it done. She says its not paid for yet from the government, but its possibly will be soon, and I am a candidate for it.
Thats something I never though about. I mean 5 years ago I was diagnosed with Diabetes Type 2. Almost not caught in time either. Glad my heart is healthy for a over weight guy. Yes my Blood Glucose was over 45.5 when the normal is 7. At first my Doc was very frightened about it, but since my body seemed to be ok, other then my feet and ankles. That I would stop eating sugar, and diet. I was at 440 lbs at the time. yes very large. It freaked me big time. So I needed to do what was said. Thankfully the pills were enough to bring it down. I went from a 45.5 reading to a 11 reading in less then 2 weeks. Which to her was superb. down to 320 now.
Well that was a good thing, but after that for the past 4 years I have been having issues with feet not working right. I have also Bursitis in the 2nd and 3rd toes on the right foot. So can't bend them easily. We tried using Cortisone and it didn't work. So we tried Flexiril, and anti inflammatory. Boy was that a mistake, cause the last year I was having issues with my Red blood cell count. It seems normal is 2.24, I was 1.12, which is way low. Meaning I was bleeding internally, not a major bleeding, but enough over time it was becoming a problem. Oh yeah gotta make sure I mention that I have to take a B12 shot every month as I don't absorb it, also take Vitamin D, and Iron Supplements as I am anemic to iron.
So I was take off of the only things keeping me going, and relatively pain free. I was even beginning to exercise on a tread mill. Slow at first. So when I went off the pills. For 2 weeks I was having issues. Various pains coming back. SO I went back to the Doc's and she suggested going from the anti inflammatory pills, with pain killers to something else. Well those pills I have been taking for a good 2 months, and they almost don't do anything. I have another doc appointment next week and I need to think on alot of things.
Do I go through the role of getting the procedure done? Spend 3 months recovering, and eating nothing but jello and soft foods, then try and see if I can eat more solid foods. Probably been in pain from the procedure as well. She says its gonna be at least 5 years of eating very little, and keeping myself from going back to eating bad things again. I know of a person who went through it, and it took her almost a year to start eating breads, and cereals, and finally meats.
Could I keep up to the sure will power I would need to go through with that? I don't know... I really don't know.
I need a support group for at least a year to help me through it. I would need help with things all through that year.
Can I get that support? I probably can, but it still means going through with it, and not working at least for a few months, no income at all....I don't think I can do that......
I need to figure out the long run things that the pro's and con's will give me. I need to think about things at home. I know that I need to get some dental work done. I know I need to also starting eating healthier, but its hard to get myself motivated to make the healthy meals. I can cook, and I can make things tasty, but I can't cook like that every day, that's the kinda commitment that I know I need to fix.
Yes I am rambling, but I needed to put this down in writing. I needed to check on these things.
I have also been having very vivid dreams, and they are none to nice either. I would rather dream a fancy dream, then ones that feel so real like these have been. Its hard to explain the dreams as I don't know if I should.
I know what is in my heart, and I know most would scoff at it, and I know most would think I am crazy. You hear about alot of people thinking they were this or that in another life. Well I have relived in my dreams hundreds of life times. Too many to count really. I wake at times where I don't know where I am. My heart beating like a jack hammer. Yet the dream fades so fast, and its hard to write down. Usually by the time I get to, its mostly gone, and garbage.
Yes I rambled onto something else again. Thats the thoughts running through my head. I can't focus at times. Perhaps its the pills I am taking now, but I wasn't like that with the others. The others I wasn't having such vivid dreams either.
*sigh* Well thats the ramblings of a dragon. This body is slowly (or quickly) fading into the shadows. I am experiencing things most experience when they are in there 60's or older. I am only 43...
Ah well. enjoy the ramblings, and if your gonna respond negatively, you should give a good reason why.
You seem to be making really great progress with your current plans, why can't you just go back onto the meds you had before that were helping? at least until you go down to another better weight? or was that the medicine causing the blood loss? ;_; maybe a lesser dosage could still be beneficial?
hope you keep doing well!
I have been at the same weight, and gained 10 pounds lately, which means that my diet isn't working, and I have slipped.
Yes the pills where causing the blood loss. Believe me having a Endoscopy and check of my intestines is not a nice thing to have done. The prep is nasty enough heh.
Lower dosage was doing nothing for me with the old pills. Naproxen was at the highest level, and your not supposed to be on it for years. Usually a stop gap to find something else. Though the new pills don't do nothing really for the pains, the deep body pains that is. You know the ones where you get an ache you think you had when you had a broken bone, and it was slow to mend? Thats what I get in my knee's and back at times, even shoulder now.
Well come Monday the Doc and I will have a long chat about options.
If I can't get something that's not gonna eat my stomach in helping deal with my pain and inflamed joints, then I might have to go up the scale in treatment.
Thanks for the words of encouragement. Its appreciated.
i've never had a broken bone, thank goodness, but i've had deep aches before, mostly in my back when i pulled a muscle once, and then sometimes in my feet at the end of the day, just "wtf why does this hurt like that ow"... or earlier i jumped funny and made my knee sprained or something ;_; not pleasant... fun when you have to immobilise yourself a certain way to stop feeling owie, and even then some residual ow is there.... =S
you ever use tensor bandages? they're essentially just stretchy wrap fabric that you wrap tightly around swollen and sore areas, great for people with arthritis... i know my family has used them before (and i think i might need to get one for my wrist, i don't have the happiest wrists...) Hopefully the doctor will be helpful :)
:) glad to chat ^^
brain is off now ;_;
It's a tough decision and diet and exercise is the almost always the best way to loose weight. The reason i say almost always is because i know someone where their diabetes vs their wiehg has cause her to enter some real issues that are preventing her from managing her weight properly.
Best of luck with the hard choices you have to make. *Hugs*