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i need legal and mental help...
14 years ago
█▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀█ Alright i am 20 and my mate is 17... We recently had sex and now he questions his sexuality. He ran to his parents for help and they are now gunna speak to a lawyer and try and get me for child molestation and sex offender... I live in Indiana and i looked up the laws and i don't think they could get me for either but i am not a lawyer. He still is under 20 and i no longer know what to do... Can someone help me please? We are both male and he still cares about me and won't toss me aside...
If he concented, there will be no charge of sexual abuse/rape.
If he's a decent guy, he won't lie on the question of concent, leaving you completely innocent, juridically speaking.
Case closed.
"If you could reason with religious people, there wouldn't be any religious people"
I'm not going to be part of a third party discussion about religion, that's between you two loverbirds.
What I don't like about this, is the way some borderline extremists raise their child. It pisses me off.
Or did you mean it metaphorically?
I don't think you have much to fear either way.
It's his parents I would be more worried about regarding the public thingy.
But I seriously, really, really doubt they'll manage to get you on any list of sexoffenders without a conviction of rape/sexual abuse.
Cheer up, his parents might hate you for being a sexually active fag, but that doesen't mean you're a criminal, or that you have done anything wrong.
Eg: In Canada the legal age of consent is 16, however, homosexuality is still considered statutory rape until the age of 18 because an individual can not consent to the act of sodomy (anal penetration) until they are the legal age of majority.
This won't save your friend. Being still under 18 he's bound by his parent's "law" but it could help you dodge a really long, frustrating bullet. HA... look at that... I made innuendo. Sorry, shouldn't be pointing that out, just think it's funny. I got lucky... My current bf (and hopefully permanent one) was about 17 when we started dating. Also lucky, we don't have fundamentalist right wing nut jobs up here.
Yer going to have to some how (and this isn't nice or easy) come to grips with the fact yer probably never gonna see this guy again and, from the sounds of it, even if you do, he's not going to be the person you knew and loved. It is really really sad that that is part of the game of love for homosexual individuals.
I'm not saying this to be mean or make you upset and I sincerely apologize if it's heavy handed, I've never been really good with the subtle art of the 'let down'. Hell, even my own break ups have usually consisted of me looking at the other person and going "Okay, you bore me, I'm done with you, go away." I'm saying this because it's a very real possibility and one, that the sooner the you recognize, the sooner you can get past.
Do not, for your own mental health, do not take responsibility for their dysfunctional. You may have been a trigger, you may have given things that last push, but it sounds like his parents are having melt down because they never even bothered to consider this scenario as a possibility. That's not your fault, by any means, cause they started down this path before you were even a thought. If yer mate IS gay, if you were his first, give it some time. He'll probably come around. I agree with the post bellow me, don't lose contact with him if it all possible but at the same time, don't try and influence him or his decisions.
I mean, ultimately, you could tell them that the rapture didn't happen and that if that isn't clear proof that god and "god's" design is nothing more than a lie... Then they obviously belong with the rest of the retards... Just a thought.
I saw what was said bellow, about his decision... My advice, take this in stride. Yer 20... there's lots of hope. The universe works in some REALLY fucked up ways and sometimes we have to wade through all kinds of insane retarded shit before we find the person we are meant to be with.
And here's a little altruism about the person yer meant to be with. They will always be there. They will never turn from you because someone says they should or can't do what they are doing and they will never make you prove yourself. Come hell or high water they will always be there at your side and they will give you over so much more than you could've ever imagined possible.
This, should be a learning experience, what lessons to learn here, I have no idea, that's your call to make. But there are lessons none the less. Beyond that, do not lament your loss, celebrate the time you had together and look forward to bigger, better, brighter things.
This is what I do. It's kept both myself and my ex's from being eradicated out of existence... And believe me, a few of them do NOT deserve the gift of life.
And I'm getting REALLY tired of having this conversation ala comments... If you want, you can add me on MSN and we can discuss in real time.
I did ''it'' with a 19-year-old 2 weeks ago... I'm still virgin, but I could send him to the jail if I could.
I'm not an ass like that.
For advice, KEEP CONTACT WITH HIM. Make sure he doesn't get to the court. You guys are mates, yes?
Are you sure you're safe?
You come ovar here when possible :3
http://www.in.gov/legislative/ic/co...../ar42/ch4.html
That link is the actual law as set down by Indiana and since he is older than 18 you are ok, just make sure there are no pics of him naked around, since oddly that requires him to be 18. Though in terms of rape, he is too old as per the law to be considered for statutory rape and you can tell his parents that as well. In fact, you can inform them that if they try to call the police, you will ask to have them arrested for filing of a false police report.
From everything I've read here, theres nothing that they can do to accuse you of anything illegal, but thats from my point of view.
People like his parents really tick me off, only doing all this because of your sexuality, this world would be so much better off without Religion.
Anywho, I hope ya get through this ok, your doing better than I would be in this kind of situation. lol :)
And as far as I see it, any law enforcement such as Police, lawyer, or court will side with you, they cannot convict you of anything just because your mates parents are religious fanatics. If anything at all, a lawyer would probaly laugh at them for trying to take you to court when you have done nothing wrong. And I don't know the legal system inside and out, but they are probably in position to be counter sued for threatening you, although its not much of a case, lol. But I believe im probaly wrong on that last bit, heh.
Just keep your head up and hope for the best. :)
as for the incident, what would the problem be that is making your mate question their sexuality? are they uncomfortable being gay, bi, or straight? it is possible to be bi but still mostly straight (or event the opposite and be mostly gay but still a little open to the opposite sex). in my own opinion, i feel it is always a bad idea to seek insight from parents on situations like this unless you know your parents are very open minded and considerate people. i did go through a time when i wasn't sure if i was straight or gay or whatever but realized some interesting stuff during that time (i've never had a boy friend or girl friend thought, nor had sex before). i may be able to help your friend out as well but answering some questions or helping him/her to think about something they've never thought about before on the issue. to really sum my mentality on the subject, i think love is not something sexual but something emotional. sex is only a possible product of love and can sometimes help to strengthen or weakening the loving connection. if for some reason bad sex ruins a relationship, then i feel it wasn't really love for the person that brought it on but misdirection brought on by physical appearance or intoxication by drugs or alcohol that lead to the incident. i also feel that it is possible to love more than one person at once, but it is always important to understand what your partner is comfortable with.
i leave you know with my own words of wisdom.
"Common interest and understanding
are the secrets to forging and maintaining good relations.
Keep to these two things
when dealing with people
and you are sure to make even a sour relationship turn sweet."
By the way, I like your new icon.