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Discussion: Princess Ruto
14 years ago
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As soon as you read this I will have full control of your mind... now read my journal.
This journal goes with this pic: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/6084703
Okay you Zelda Fans. Admit it. Princess Ruto was a bitch, and both of the dungeons she was in were a couple of the most annoying ones in the entire Ocarina of Time game. That's the truth; however, I may have the answer as to why she's such a bitch, and thusly, why she's such an underappreciated character.
When you first meet Ruto you're inside of a giant fish, who is the Zora's God or something like that. You come in offering to help her, and she tells you to get lost, then she goes and falls down a god damn hole. You follow her down, talk to her a couple of times and she agrees to let you help... on the condition that you carry her lazy ass everywhere. But she's a princess, so why should she walk everywhere to find whatever it is SHE lost? /sarcasm
After that, she finds what the both of you are looking for: the Spiritual Stone of Water, the Zora's Sapphire (hey. Doesn't it kind of look like... a ring? Meh, probably just a coincidence). But, she suddenly disappears behind a wall of flesh and... you're attacked by a giant motherfucking Octocrock. Thank the TRIFORCE it doesn't shoot shit at you like the smaller ones.
Anyways, after that battle you have to go find the boomerang and kill some parasitic tentacles, which are part of the reason that Lord Jabu-Jabu, the giant fish you're inside of, is "looking a bit green around the gills" (Oh har-dee-har-har King Zora. Aren't you just a barrel of laughs). So you kill all of the tentacles, and then go an fight a... parasitic... anemone. *Facepalm* So... the giant fucking fish is sick because it's got an overgrown barnacle in its gut?
. . .
Ok, Zoras... this is your GOD and you let this happen? WTF? Anyways, you beat the damn parasite and go meet Ruto, who is amazingly unharmed... whatever... and she admits that you seem to be a bit cooler than she thought at first. Ok, a good change in personality. You get outside of the Godzilla-Fish, and Ruto presents to you the Zora's Sapphire, and a brief monologue stating that her mother told her to give the rock to the guy she wants to marry. Ok, well thanks for the FISHGIRLSAYWHAT!???!!??!!?!?!?!?
Ok. Pause. Here's where I start to explain my point of view. So, Ruto is the Princess of a rather secluded race that, after helping Hyrule's greatest enemy Ganondorf for, oh, well over 200 years, is suddenly linked to supporting and protecting the Royal Family of Hyrule... Ok, so they want to make up for their past mistakes. No problem with that. But.... is it just me or is Ruto the ONLY GIRL in the entire Zora race? Wow, that's gotta suck. She's 8 years old, already past her training bra and into at least an A cup (yes I DID just say that), and her responsibility as the PRINCESS OF THE ZORA'S is to... feed Mongo the Megafish.... WHAT THE HELL KIND OF SOCIETY IS THIS!?!?!?!?
Ok, so now we see why she was acting like such a bitch: She's pampered by her fat-ass dad, finds herself the only girl in her society, is already developing AMAZINGLY well, and then has to feed a bug-eyed behemoth because she's the princess? I have to admit, even as a guy, I can see why she'd act this way. Then she proposes--
Um... having just realized that it's almost 1:00 in the morning for me, I regret to say that I will have to finish this journal sometime later... uh, today.
-- to Link. Ok, so this is the FIRST GUY she's really ever put her trust into. Aaaaand then he disappears for SEVEN FUCKING YEARS.
Now that's cold. She just offered to devote her life to a guy who's not even a Zora (and who has NEVER GOTTEN LUCKY; you'd think you'd learn your lesson after the N-th time you save Zelda, buddy. She en't gunna let ya boink 'er, fairy boy.) and he runs away. Srsly, Link, for a hero, you sure are a dick.
So seven years goes by, and Ganon's taken over Hyrule (again). Link walks out of the temple of time to go and face Ganon... but... wtf? Everything is... evil? Yeah, bro, that's what happens when you STAND STILL FOR 7 YEARS! Oh, wait. You didn't know cuz you can't do a damn thing without someone telling you what to do. Course Navi could afford to just shut her damn trap, too.
Anyways, while Link is running around finding the other Sages and whatnot, Ruto is trying to be responsible and do what every other princess in the Nintendo Universe (save Zelda) has never done before: Protect her kingdom. Lo and behold, Link arrives in the water temple... and Ruto is not even angry. No, she reminds him, "Hey, remember me? I'm your fiancée!" And then proceeds to get caught by the amoeba/tentacle monster. God, the girls like the Daphne of the LoZ universe, so danger-prone.
So link finally gets off of his ass and saves Ruto from Goopy McTentacles and... she disappears.... and reappears in a ring of dudes (save Saria). Man her life sucks.
So, in summary, Ruto is at first bitchy because she's the ONLY GIRL in her entire race, she's lost her mom, her job as a princess is to feed Fishzilla, her dad is a fat-ass who just sits there and cries whenever something goes wrong (until he needs to move, then he's just sad), she gets eaten by the aforementioned Mega-fish, and then finally decides to propose to a guy, only to be ditched for seven years, then find him again only to be caught by a tentacle monster, and then gets mystically transported to a place that is three old guys and three young girls...
Yeah, don't be hatin' the fish-girl, ya'll. It ain't her fault that she's had what I have to say is a really fuckin', sucky-ass life.
Okay you Zelda Fans. Admit it. Princess Ruto was a bitch, and both of the dungeons she was in were a couple of the most annoying ones in the entire Ocarina of Time game. That's the truth; however, I may have the answer as to why she's such a bitch, and thusly, why she's such an underappreciated character.
When you first meet Ruto you're inside of a giant fish, who is the Zora's God or something like that. You come in offering to help her, and she tells you to get lost, then she goes and falls down a god damn hole. You follow her down, talk to her a couple of times and she agrees to let you help... on the condition that you carry her lazy ass everywhere. But she's a princess, so why should she walk everywhere to find whatever it is SHE lost? /sarcasm
After that, she finds what the both of you are looking for: the Spiritual Stone of Water, the Zora's Sapphire (hey. Doesn't it kind of look like... a ring? Meh, probably just a coincidence). But, she suddenly disappears behind a wall of flesh and... you're attacked by a giant motherfucking Octocrock. Thank the TRIFORCE it doesn't shoot shit at you like the smaller ones.
Anyways, after that battle you have to go find the boomerang and kill some parasitic tentacles, which are part of the reason that Lord Jabu-Jabu, the giant fish you're inside of, is "looking a bit green around the gills" (Oh har-dee-har-har King Zora. Aren't you just a barrel of laughs). So you kill all of the tentacles, and then go an fight a... parasitic... anemone. *Facepalm* So... the giant fucking fish is sick because it's got an overgrown barnacle in its gut?
. . .
Ok, Zoras... this is your GOD and you let this happen? WTF? Anyways, you beat the damn parasite and go meet Ruto, who is amazingly unharmed... whatever... and she admits that you seem to be a bit cooler than she thought at first. Ok, a good change in personality. You get outside of the Godzilla-Fish, and Ruto presents to you the Zora's Sapphire, and a brief monologue stating that her mother told her to give the rock to the guy she wants to marry. Ok, well thanks for the FISHGIRLSAYWHAT!???!!??!!?!?!?!?
Ok. Pause. Here's where I start to explain my point of view. So, Ruto is the Princess of a rather secluded race that, after helping Hyrule's greatest enemy Ganondorf for, oh, well over 200 years, is suddenly linked to supporting and protecting the Royal Family of Hyrule... Ok, so they want to make up for their past mistakes. No problem with that. But.... is it just me or is Ruto the ONLY GIRL in the entire Zora race? Wow, that's gotta suck. She's 8 years old, already past her training bra and into at least an A cup (yes I DID just say that), and her responsibility as the PRINCESS OF THE ZORA'S is to... feed Mongo the Megafish.... WHAT THE HELL KIND OF SOCIETY IS THIS!?!?!?!?
Ok, so now we see why she was acting like such a bitch: She's pampered by her fat-ass dad, finds herself the only girl in her society, is already developing AMAZINGLY well, and then has to feed a bug-eyed behemoth because she's the princess? I have to admit, even as a guy, I can see why she'd act this way. Then she proposes--
-- to Link. Ok, so this is the FIRST GUY she's really ever put her trust into. Aaaaand then he disappears for SEVEN FUCKING YEARS.
Now that's cold. She just offered to devote her life to a guy who's not even a Zora (and who has NEVER GOTTEN LUCKY; you'd think you'd learn your lesson after the N-th time you save Zelda, buddy. She en't gunna let ya boink 'er, fairy boy.) and he runs away. Srsly, Link, for a hero, you sure are a dick.
So seven years goes by, and Ganon's taken over Hyrule (again). Link walks out of the temple of time to go and face Ganon... but... wtf? Everything is... evil? Yeah, bro, that's what happens when you STAND STILL FOR 7 YEARS! Oh, wait. You didn't know cuz you can't do a damn thing without someone telling you what to do. Course Navi could afford to just shut her damn trap, too.
Anyways, while Link is running around finding the other Sages and whatnot, Ruto is trying to be responsible and do what every other princess in the Nintendo Universe (save Zelda) has never done before: Protect her kingdom. Lo and behold, Link arrives in the water temple... and Ruto is not even angry. No, she reminds him, "Hey, remember me? I'm your fiancée!" And then proceeds to get caught by the amoeba/tentacle monster. God, the girls like the Daphne of the LoZ universe, so danger-prone.
So link finally gets off of his ass and saves Ruto from Goopy McTentacles and... she disappears.... and reappears in a ring of dudes (save Saria). Man her life sucks.
So, in summary, Ruto is at first bitchy because she's the ONLY GIRL in her entire race, she's lost her mom, her job as a princess is to feed Fishzilla, her dad is a fat-ass who just sits there and cries whenever something goes wrong (until he needs to move, then he's just sad), she gets eaten by the aforementioned Mega-fish, and then finally decides to propose to a guy, only to be ditched for seven years, then find him again only to be caught by a tentacle monster, and then gets mystically transported to a place that is three old guys and three young girls...
Yeah, don't be hatin' the fish-girl, ya'll. It ain't her fault that she's had what I have to say is a really fuckin', sucky-ass life.
I now feel incredibly sorry for someone who isn't real.
Btw, journal got finished, if you want to read the rest.