Back when i was new to the fandom i met sevral furs online who have stayed in touch over the years...one of them was  addik and he lived a short distance away in Flushing.

This was before i met  mudpaws and since he lived so close and i thought he was a groovy dude i could see myself spending a lifetime with...i was going to ask him to be mates....till i discoverd he was only 17....so i didnt tell him how i felt....by the time i heard he turned 18 however i was dating mudpaws and had not yet been asked by mud to seek out other mates.
But by the time mudpaws told me of his shortened lifespan and that he wanted me to seek out other mates Addik was already dating  NRG .

Now addik broke up with him a few months ago but is still living with him...i told him couple weeks ago he could live with me free of charge because i was tired of constently being alone...truth is i was hoping that while living me he mite develope feelings for me....turns out he already has feelings for me...even way back before him and NRG hooked up.

I am crying as i type...oh gods please dont let me be dreaming....i couldent handle that...it would be too cruel.

My search that began when i was 10 may finally be over...i may finally have a lifemate.....someone who loves me and i can wake up snuggling EVERY day....someone to grow old with.

I will know for sure by my next journal....Addik is coming over tonight...he is going to visit a while and we will have much to talk about.

Wish me luck