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Random Journal Rant
14 years ago
Well how is everyone, furries? I always knew that staying on a single Journal. But I wont waste time with the intro, the problem is the following.
You know that I am interested in few stuff: Cars, racing, trains, planes, military stuff and sci fi, animals, furry, girls, and naughty stuff. People I usually have the chance to talk to know me as a nice person. But to tell the truth, I have lots of secretstowards my mother, and one of them, that I do watch porn, is revealed. so what she said is so pathetic:
- Porn is cursed, and we are poor because I bring sin to the house
- The satan is crushing our family because I watch porn
- Question: "You want to be succubus like your father?"
- If She happens to figure it out again, She'll disconnect the net
AND WHERE THE WHORE-GOD SHE THINKS SHE HAS THE RIGHT TO DECIDE WHAT CAN I DO OR WATCH? Is she better than me? Nooo... I heard lots of complaint from my sister about her, and I start to feel how wrong she is. iomagine, she is a homophobe. Actually I am the only person of the family who learned tolerance towards homosexuals, transsexual or crossdressing, while they still talk about these like "Demonic effects".
And the actual problem is that mother put me onder wardship when I was 18 (About a year ago) and she plans her life with me, but I want to live my own life like everyone else. I'm an asperger-autist for the gods-fucking-sake! Asperger, it means I can take care of myself if I'm not lazy, and you know what? I'M BORED OF BEING LAZY!
The problem is that she underestimates me and doesnt think I could take care of myself, or if my sister was right, She only wants this wardship because of the money. Actually, I get 30.000 Ft every month, and I may spend 5000 from it while the other money goes to taxes and bills- apparently.
IT seems like I may have a life beside her... but I'M NOT FUCKING FREE!
I already talked some people, and most of them told me that I'll get free from this bullshit. One of them recommended a psychologer who may probably help me to freedom.
There is one thing: If not forever, I will not want to be mated until I live with mother. Its just... impossible. Would a girl like it if she would have a boy WHO LIVES WITH HIS MOTHER? Or if yes, then my mom may leave her most of the housework, probably when my sisters all left, the problem is all set.
I dont want to live with mom and a mate too... I want my own life... I want to learn to pay the bills and to cook, and I want to prove that I can take care of my fucking self. I'm not a kid, nor a heavy autist. Yea, I'm autist, but an Asperger one... Does anyone ever notice that I'm Autist? If I dont tell them, no, and if I tell them, then they always point that I'm communicating and its good to talk with me... So how autist I am? Maybe just 1% of me is autist... but all the other are ME!!!
Okey, Rant is over.
You know that I am interested in few stuff: Cars, racing, trains, planes, military stuff and sci fi, animals, furry, girls, and naughty stuff. People I usually have the chance to talk to know me as a nice person. But to tell the truth, I have lots of secretstowards my mother, and one of them, that I do watch porn, is revealed. so what she said is so pathetic:
- Porn is cursed, and we are poor because I bring sin to the house
- The satan is crushing our family because I watch porn
- Question: "You want to be succubus like your father?"
- If She happens to figure it out again, She'll disconnect the net
AND WHERE THE WHORE-GOD SHE THINKS SHE HAS THE RIGHT TO DECIDE WHAT CAN I DO OR WATCH? Is she better than me? Nooo... I heard lots of complaint from my sister about her, and I start to feel how wrong she is. iomagine, she is a homophobe. Actually I am the only person of the family who learned tolerance towards homosexuals, transsexual or crossdressing, while they still talk about these like "Demonic effects".
And the actual problem is that mother put me onder wardship when I was 18 (About a year ago) and she plans her life with me, but I want to live my own life like everyone else. I'm an asperger-autist for the gods-fucking-sake! Asperger, it means I can take care of myself if I'm not lazy, and you know what? I'M BORED OF BEING LAZY!
The problem is that she underestimates me and doesnt think I could take care of myself, or if my sister was right, She only wants this wardship because of the money. Actually, I get 30.000 Ft every month, and I may spend 5000 from it while the other money goes to taxes and bills- apparently.
IT seems like I may have a life beside her... but I'M NOT FUCKING FREE!
I already talked some people, and most of them told me that I'll get free from this bullshit. One of them recommended a psychologer who may probably help me to freedom.
There is one thing: If not forever, I will not want to be mated until I live with mother. Its just... impossible. Would a girl like it if she would have a boy WHO LIVES WITH HIS MOTHER? Or if yes, then my mom may leave her most of the housework, probably when my sisters all left, the problem is all set.
I dont want to live with mom and a mate too... I want my own life... I want to learn to pay the bills and to cook, and I want to prove that I can take care of my fucking self. I'm not a kid, nor a heavy autist. Yea, I'm autist, but an Asperger one... Does anyone ever notice that I'm Autist? If I dont tell them, no, and if I tell them, then they always point that I'm communicating and its good to talk with me... So how autist I am? Maybe just 1% of me is autist... but all the other are ME!!!
Okey, Rant is over.
Oh and if your father is a Succubus, your mother is a lesbian. A succubus is a female demon.
People like your mother, make me very sad.
It's perfectly natural for a mother to be upset when she discovers her child watching porn. But to go through the lengths she did (basically blaming all the misfortune of the family on you) Is absolutely unacceptable, and crazy, if she honestly believes any of that.
Scary thing is, she parallels my mother in some ways.
When I first admitted to my mother that I was a lesbian, she got so pissed at me, she had me honestly scared. Like, to the point where I started dating guys so she would quit threatening me. But after a year of that, I stopped giving a fuck. She's still pissed, but I don't live at home anymore to have to hear it from her. Sex with a guy, for me, is always extremely painful, and sometimes traumatizes me. I'm scared of it to be honest, and I had to put myself through it because I was even more scared of what my own mother thought of me ):
But everythings happy now, so yey!
Also, I have a little sister who also has aspergers, and my mom treats her like she's totally incapable of doing anything. I hate that, because both me and my sister know she can do things just like everyone else, but my mom inhibits her, by not letting her do everything like a normal person.
Its sad to see there are many people in this world like our mothers. If I was a politic, their type of person would be my first priority to be controlled. No one would have the right to underestimate someone after their childhood or autism.