Since I failed at finding the words to write the memorial I meant to on my submission earlier and now cannot sleep, I am going to tell you a story. I apologize if this is at all incoherent or entirely too long, I am beyond exhausted at the moment.

I first met Aheria in 2007, at the very first furmeet I ever attended, in Kent, OH. It was the first meet in the area for her and her mate Kashi as well, as they had just moved into the Cleveland area. My boyfriend at the time, Shyz, scoped them out and immediately tried to befriend them because he realized Kashi was a dragon and wanted to encounter other scalie-folk. They were nervous and quiet but seemed rather nice people. Upon returning home, I befriended Aheria on LiveJournal.

A year later, in 2008, Shyz and I were looking for more people to room with us at Anthrocon and put up a post seeking interested parties. Aheria immediately jumped in with a request, saying we seemed like decent folk, and Shyz in turn recommended to me that I definitely go with them. So we arranged to meet and hang out, to become better acquainted well in advance of the con, as they only lived a 45 minute drive away. Needless to say we enjoyed their company and began hanging out more often. I learned that Aheria was a fantastic cook and photographer and she learned that I was an artist, so at Anthrocon that year we traded - I made her art in exchange for her photographing my fursuits.

This became a regular thing as we thereafter became good friends. I would visit Aheria's house, she would cook amazing food and toss art supplies at me and I would use said supplies to create things for her. She introduced me to richly flavorful stout craft beers that changed my mind about it as a beverage and I would gladly buy more of said beers for our mutual consumption. She would point a camera at whatever I asked, from suits I made to my cats to myself. I decided I wanted all my hair blue and she went with me to pick out dye, and saw to it that it was suitably made so. She and Kashi would show me Torchwood and the IT Crowd, tell stories and joke around.

Whenever I went away to school we would fall out of touch somewhat, but the moment I returned to Ohio I would find myself driving out to see them. They were thoughtful and loyal friends. When Shyz broke up with me, Aheria and Kashi came to my house with baked goods, movies, and a deck of tarot cards as soon as they found out and attempted to advise and comfort me. When Shyz and I got back together, they decided to arrange a double-date sort of camping trip, and the four of us took to the woods of Kentucky together. With her fibro and CS some aspects of the trip were very hard on Aheria, but she ultimately trooped through it and had a good weekend. When once again single at 2009's end I was mad drunk at a party and falling all over the place, I don't remember but apparently Aheria volunteered herself as a place for me to rest my head and kept an eye on me around the house making certain some creepy furry dudes who were trying to take advantage of the night stayed appropriate with me.

In 2010 when I found love anew, Aheria was excited and encouraging. I think the first picture ever drawn of me and mine together other than by me was something Aheria requested and colored as a little gift, and while at her house she encouraged me to try out her new paints and things to make more cute art along these lines. When my kitten Lucky died Aheria painted a portrait of him, and told her mother who was also an avid cat lover, and her mother in turns photoshopped together some thoughtful little memorials of him too. Shortly thereafter I had plans to depart to study abroad in Germany. My birthday was just a few days before I left, and I was randomly feeling rather upset, nervous and unprepared. Aheria and Kashi helped bake a birthday cake for me and took me out to the Beer Engine with friends. Kashi gave me all kinds of advice and popped on Google maps streetview to show me the little town I was going to be living in before I got there. I appreciated them greatly that night and little did I know that before Germany was one of the last times I would really spend with Aheria. Also right before my trip I was working hard to finish up a few suits, her's among them -- she had wanted one so badly, so I agreed to just make one for her if she bought the materials, good friend that she was. Four days and nights of not sleeping and I finished a fursuit head for her before I left, one of my favorite I ever made. That it was later destroyed is inconsequential, now. While in Germany I decided I wanted one of my suits there with me, and Aheria and Kashi volunteered to go to my house, box one up and help me get it shipped to myself overseas. Why in Germany I collected spoons and caps of beer bottles per Aheria's request, and brought them back in July.

The last time I saw Aheria in person was sometime near the end of 2010. She had gotten involved in a poly-second relationship with a fellow from MA and seemed quite happy with it, so I was happy for her. I painted him a piece per his commission and drew Aheria a piece of her, Jade and Kashi together while at her house - a sketch, which upon next return to Ohio I had intended to color.

I never did get to color that piece. I really lost touch with the social dynamics back in Cleveland, as I was now in my final year of art school, busy as hell, suffering a lot of my own drama and more wrapped up in the people I knew either in Baltimore or Pittsburgh. But, sometime near the end of the school year I caught wind of a large falling out going down back in Ohio, at which Aheria was the center. Concerned, I tried to poke her on Skype, but she seemed defensive so I let it be. I just did what I always do when friends of mine get into fights with other friends of mine: nothing, in order to avoid taking sides. That and I was so busy trying to finish everything for school. But when the dust settled, Aheria stopped talking to me along with those she was actually fighting with, out of fear of association I guess... and hurt by this sudden de-friending, as well as the destruction of the suit head, and presented with some information about her the other friends had found, I gave up on her. Way too easily for the friendship we had in the past. And other than a couple attempts to indicate I missed her and Kashi, I hardly lifted a fucking finger. I wish I had. I don't know if it would have made a difference, but she was often there for me when I was hurting, before. And someone in pain is someone in pain, no matter what choices they've made, and they deserve whatever kindness you can try to show them. And Aheria was in a lot of pain from a number of sources - physical, emotional, and mental.

Aheria, here's to you. Twenty-five is too young, but you've managed to talk to, spend time with, and impact a whole lot of people in just those years. I know in the three years we were friends you've added to my life in very tangible, memorable ways and there are a whole host of things I would not have experienced or tried without you that will always remind me of you. I miss you. I missed you before, but now, knowing there isn't even a chance of seeing you again... I noticed you were in my stream the other day but didn't say anything, waiting to see if you would say something first. Maybe you were planning this and maybe you wanted to say goodbye, or maybe what happened was a rash act of the moment and you were considering being friends again. Either way, I wish I had said something.

As previously stated I don't know what's after this life, but I hope there's something and that whatever it entails, that you find happiness there. Goodbye...