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PSA: Creepy Fans
14 years ago
A million thanks to 
orange04 for posting this very original, very true journal about creepy commissioners. I recommend everyone read it. I mean it. Go read it now, then come back and finish this:
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/2649711/
Now, for my own additions to this observation: It's not just commissioners that can be creepy. I get people acting like this who haven't commissioned me. I get people who act like this because of a comment I replied to, a picture I posted, or because I said okay to them drawing fan art. I'd like to start out by directly stealing this quote from the original journal -
"I have no problem forming friendships with commissioners or fans as long as they don't seek constant attention... or ask for personal info (like where I live or what my relationship is like), or spam me with murry-purry emotes just because they do that with everyone all the time."
DAMN STRAIGHT.
I love you guys, and I love flirting with you, chatting with you, giving you hugs at conventions, drawing art for you, reading your comments, etc. But sometimes, the occasional person crosses the line. And different people have different ideas of "creepy". So how do you know if you're being what I would call creepy? Well, here's some guidelines:
- FAN ART: If I give you permission to draw my character or be drawn with my character, that is MY CHARACTER. Not me. My characters can sleep with anyone I choose, but that does not mean I personally have any feelings, connection, or interest in you. If I do have an interest in you, I'm an aggressive girl, I will pursue YOU, and you will know. (I keep a Clue Bat in my closet for bludgeoning people I'm attracted to.) Otherwise, please keep it in the fantasy world where it belongs.
- FLIRTING: I am a flirt. A HUGE flirt. I know, very Leo of me... But you guys seem to enjoy it, and I get a kick out of it, and it's all in fun. Lust after my tiger all you want, and feel free to engage in witty banter and flirty comments. However, flirting does NOT mean I am actually interested in pursuing a relationship. I'm horribly picky. If I am actually interested in someone, I will make it painfully obvious with said Clue Bat. Otherwise, take it as all in fun, and don't get attached.
- PET NAMES: I'm from the South, where it's common to call perfect strangers pet names such as "darlin", "sweetheart", and "hon". I don't mind the type of pet name that you could use with just anyone walking down the street without getting slapped for sexual harassment. But unless I'm fucking you, don't call me anything that's overly familiar or implies any kind of relationship, ownership or mastery over me. No "pet", "slave", "my love", nada.
- EMOTES: I don't mind hugs. I love hugs. I give them away free at cons. And when it comes to chatting, I don't mind people emoting hugs. Anything beyond hugs, though, is off-limits. That's right, no nuzzling, licking, kissing, petting, curling up in my lap (unless you want to get thrown across a room), none of that. I'm REALLY not the touchy-feely sort. The exception is, again, people I sleep with. And my bestest bestest buddy Dennis, who is so damn awesome he's allowed to lean his head on my shoulder.
- CHIT-CHAT: I'm not a very talkative person. I don't tend to converse on the Internet much, partially because I don't like sitting at a computer for long stretches, partially because I'm kinda socially awkward and don't know what to talk about, and partially because I'm a hermit who more than often just wants to be left alone. It's a character flaw. I have a very few select people I chat with on any kind of basis, at all. I don't normally share my IM information, because I'm never on. I don't reply to social emails or notes unless there's a point to them, aside from replying for the sake of being polite. I don't like to chit-chat. I do appreciate notes, but I'm not going to reply if you're just asking me how was my day or being idly friendly. I have enough friends that barely get any of my time as it is (and for that I'm really sorry, you guys!), so don't expect me to start in on much of a conversation with a stranger. If you want to chat with me, come to my streams, where I'm happy to chatter away on a mic while I work because I'm sitting at a computer for hours anyway, and I love company while I draw.
I hope this helps clear up the boundaries. I love you guys, and most of you have been nothing but really awesome and fun to interact with, and I thank you for that from the bottom of my heart. I'm not writing this to target anyone in particular, it just happened that orange04 wrote this journal at a perfect time, when I just got a flood of fan art requests and am about to go to a couple of conventions and so on, and it inspired me.
Remember: love your artists, but respect their space. Thank you all! I'll be here all week! Try the veal! *blows a kiss to everyone*
orange04 for posting this very original, very true journal about creepy commissioners. I recommend everyone read it. I mean it. Go read it now, then come back and finish this:http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/2649711/
Now, for my own additions to this observation: It's not just commissioners that can be creepy. I get people acting like this who haven't commissioned me. I get people who act like this because of a comment I replied to, a picture I posted, or because I said okay to them drawing fan art. I'd like to start out by directly stealing this quote from the original journal -
"I have no problem forming friendships with commissioners or fans as long as they don't seek constant attention... or ask for personal info (like where I live or what my relationship is like), or spam me with murry-purry emotes just because they do that with everyone all the time."
DAMN STRAIGHT.
I love you guys, and I love flirting with you, chatting with you, giving you hugs at conventions, drawing art for you, reading your comments, etc. But sometimes, the occasional person crosses the line. And different people have different ideas of "creepy". So how do you know if you're being what I would call creepy? Well, here's some guidelines:
- FAN ART: If I give you permission to draw my character or be drawn with my character, that is MY CHARACTER. Not me. My characters can sleep with anyone I choose, but that does not mean I personally have any feelings, connection, or interest in you. If I do have an interest in you, I'm an aggressive girl, I will pursue YOU, and you will know. (I keep a Clue Bat in my closet for bludgeoning people I'm attracted to.) Otherwise, please keep it in the fantasy world where it belongs.
- FLIRTING: I am a flirt. A HUGE flirt. I know, very Leo of me... But you guys seem to enjoy it, and I get a kick out of it, and it's all in fun. Lust after my tiger all you want, and feel free to engage in witty banter and flirty comments. However, flirting does NOT mean I am actually interested in pursuing a relationship. I'm horribly picky. If I am actually interested in someone, I will make it painfully obvious with said Clue Bat. Otherwise, take it as all in fun, and don't get attached.
- PET NAMES: I'm from the South, where it's common to call perfect strangers pet names such as "darlin", "sweetheart", and "hon". I don't mind the type of pet name that you could use with just anyone walking down the street without getting slapped for sexual harassment. But unless I'm fucking you, don't call me anything that's overly familiar or implies any kind of relationship, ownership or mastery over me. No "pet", "slave", "my love", nada.
- EMOTES: I don't mind hugs. I love hugs. I give them away free at cons. And when it comes to chatting, I don't mind people emoting hugs. Anything beyond hugs, though, is off-limits. That's right, no nuzzling, licking, kissing, petting, curling up in my lap (unless you want to get thrown across a room), none of that. I'm REALLY not the touchy-feely sort. The exception is, again, people I sleep with. And my bestest bestest buddy Dennis, who is so damn awesome he's allowed to lean his head on my shoulder.
- CHIT-CHAT: I'm not a very talkative person. I don't tend to converse on the Internet much, partially because I don't like sitting at a computer for long stretches, partially because I'm kinda socially awkward and don't know what to talk about, and partially because I'm a hermit who more than often just wants to be left alone. It's a character flaw. I have a very few select people I chat with on any kind of basis, at all. I don't normally share my IM information, because I'm never on. I don't reply to social emails or notes unless there's a point to them, aside from replying for the sake of being polite. I don't like to chit-chat. I do appreciate notes, but I'm not going to reply if you're just asking me how was my day or being idly friendly. I have enough friends that barely get any of my time as it is (and for that I'm really sorry, you guys!), so don't expect me to start in on much of a conversation with a stranger. If you want to chat with me, come to my streams, where I'm happy to chatter away on a mic while I work because I'm sitting at a computer for hours anyway, and I love company while I draw.
I hope this helps clear up the boundaries. I love you guys, and most of you have been nothing but really awesome and fun to interact with, and I thank you for that from the bottom of my heart. I'm not writing this to target anyone in particular, it just happened that orange04 wrote this journal at a perfect time, when I just got a flood of fan art requests and am about to go to a couple of conventions and so on, and it inspired me.
Remember: love your artists, but respect their space. Thank you all! I'll be here all week! Try the veal! *blows a kiss to everyone*
*woot first to reply to a journal for once*
No actually a lot of furs I meet are okay types, they just seem to lack this whole "personal space" sense that most other people have. I've known plenty of artists who quit the fandom because they couldn't stand the overly touchy fans. I don't wanna wind up being one of those guys.
Saying "no" to them is just, in their eyes, postponement. They're try and find another way around your refusal, they'll try and ignore your refusal just to see how far you can be pushed, and they'll try to endear themselves to you so your defenses will be lowered enough where you won't refuse them anymore.
All a creeper will respond to is the threat or implication of damage if they continue to step out of line. They care more about the thrill of control and the benefits of controlling people than the relationships, online or off.
These come in the form of one guy wandering through a chat with a half dozen Chakat characters logged in and interacting as a group, to something more premeditated, like 10-15 different personas spread out across as many accounts, all of them separate attempts to spread the same rumors or popularize a bad idea.
.. Seems like paranoia, but I've seen some of these people in action and had a few admit to me what they were doing. c.C
It's one of my reptilian 'get angry' buttons.
But then, given what I tend to be into, I'm pretty much already "that guy" to some degree. Ah well.
*offers you cookies and a beat stick!*
Also, any difference in hon and hun? Regional? Random?
Somewhat unrelated, but I could not help smiling when reading the above. If more women were like you in this regard life would be simpler, I think.
Oh btw, I noticed you mentioned the word "pet" in regards to phrases that go to far. Not sure if you have encountered this before, but in England 'pet' is a mild term of endearment like maybe "sweetheart". Of course, that could certainly still be too much for a casual aquaintance, but if its coming from someone from the UK it shouldn't carry the same disturbing overtones as it would coming from another American.
No, you're totally right, and I'm cool with "pet" and "love" when used in the British sense. But there's a fine line, and considering my incredibly submissive nature, "pet" is best used sparingly if at all.
I figure most people probably have heard the term used that way by Brits, but I could just see someone having a very negative reaction if they never had before.
it drives me nuts when you talk to someone once and are mildly nice or kind and all the sudden they are magically in love with you, and then get pissed off when you don't return the feelings >.>
I feel that it is best to act on a professional level in dealings that are of the business type. Friendships can form if done right, but there are too many who are just.... too creepy.
i have to agree on some points. most furs and even non-furs are pretty creepy some times. i was stalked at AC2011 while in my fursuit by some guy who i swear mistook me for a woman. then again, i look really girly in my fursuit some times. but in any case, at least you got this to refer back to for some people when they do step over those boundaries.
though asking people to be mature and respect your personal space/requests is like trying to divide the universe by zero. it just doesnt compute with some people all of the time.
hopefully people who have been following after you like some lovesick pup will read this and understand its just not all about murry-purry stuff in the fandom. everyone's different and not everyone's a sex robot.
anyway, like always i look forward to seeing more of your work soon. until then have fun and take care
*tanek*
So, just...Thanks for this. It makes things so much easier to just have rules like this out in the open.
For reasons like that I wish all fans will build there relationships with the artist and the artist with the fans to better understand why the fans love the artist and for the artist why the fans keep coming back.
A relation ship such as that gives a better understanding how the artist works and the fans a better appreciation for the artist's works.
An artist should always welcome there guests to chat and chit chat, especially if the topic is on art. It is only up to the artists discression if the convosation should diviate in any other topics. Though should never be mistaken, just because an artist speaks, as a relationship other than fan based.
persisted attempts to befriend an artist I find rather creepy, If the artist likes you then perhaps over time a relationship of that value may spark though this almost never happens and as such shouldn't be ever expected.
I always welcome new friends though you can't just expect anyone to be one if you are total strangers and an artist isn't going to look as a fan as a friend for even if they commision the artist time and again. The artist isn't going to respond to someone who they haven't quite got to know and its up to the artists will to do so or not. Artists aren't nessesarly A-holes they are like any one else. We take percautions on who we befriend.
Though to artist your fans are always your friends not always your close friends though friends none the less. We watch over your art and how you went from a scribbler to a god and we give you advice on your art with comments. We show support by offering commisions for your handy work. And we try if possible to be there when you go to conventions and the like. Its the supporting nature of the fans that makes them the artist friends. As such the artist should always listen to the fans and respond accordingly. If they wish to socialize from then on then that is up to them.. =D So to the fans, don't push it..
If I did something else I'm not aware of, I apologize.
I have been cutting most of the' murry purry emotes' out. Find it makes 'creepy' as stated, so looking BACK on this, I shiver in how much I must have fucked up people's heads.
I swear I don't mean to be creepy.
Very few people I know are permitted to do that kinda thing openly to me. Others, if it's not part of an RP session, please don't do that.