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Warrior I Love (Nigel-centric poem WIP)
13 years ago
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for a comprehensive list of all of my significant writings, WIPs, and conceptual works posted as submissions and in journals.
(journal link) The flair of my writing, displayed for thoughtful browsing
for a comprehensive list of all of my significant writings, WIPs, and conceptual works posted as submissions and in journals.(journal link) The flair of my writing, displayed for thoughtful browsing
She enjoys portraying herself as a half-aware and dimwitted beast, drunken in the stupor of her own bodily composure.This...is the commentary for a poem...that doesn't exist yet. Strange? Read on.
I was floating around my alt account, and then I got the idea to develop a poem. The first thoughts that came were of two verses of it. I liked how the verses sounded. But a funny fact is that just after I thought of those sections, I began to think of the BACKSTORY behind the poem more than the poem itself, and thusly forgot what the poem was entirely. XD I could only recall the first four words of the verse I thought up, and nothing else, because the very commentary I intend to include with this poem is almost like a story in itself, sooo...I focused more on that, and forgot everything else. XD
I like the commentary though. :)
This is what I have so far:
===============
Hands that can love. Claws that can tear.
Strength to survive. Know that I care.
===============
The above is subject to revision. But the commentary is finished.
Here is the commentary:
Nigel's not NEARLY as much of an artist as Ryan and Punk are. And even Shila, who struggles with proper word pronounciation, has it going for her more than he does, as far as overall effort is concerned.
Nigel is persistent and very stubborn, which can work in his favor. But somewhere in his soul, he honestly doesn't see himself as much of an artistic type. But that's not his goal...so much. He understands that it's nice to have a talent that people could love him for.
He's not exactly unaware of how overenthusiastic he can be, which can be bad for him. But he knows [some of] the differences between right and wrong. He just wants his mother to know that he loves her. But contrary to that, he doesn't always feel comfortable with the idea of letting her know that he ADMIRES her. It's a secretive matter that makes him happy. But for every ounce of joy it gives him, it makes him feel shame twice as much. And why? Well, it's almost like Nicholas says (albeit with hasty abandon): "He isn't much to her in the first place." However, that's not so much a 'fact' as it's just a 'factor'.
But maybe if he gave her something special, he could change that? Maybe if she understood how he feels; what he has in mind; he could connect with her better? "She can UNDERSTAND this. It makes so much sense... - If she reads it, maybe I can prove myself to her? This will show her that I'm not worthless after all..."
He doesn't get it.
But in his small world, he didn't know to do anything else.
Nigel is © to
guzzlemuzzle9460
A future poem written by an introverted kitty who's feels shy about letting his mother know just how he loves her.
Because of who and what Chanda is, Nigel has all sorts of fetishes.
He likes paws because he likes it when she pets him, and when he can see her showing off the thick soles of her hindfeet when she 'stalks' around in her feral form.
He has a [slight] dominance fetish because, to put it simply, she is overwhelming to him, and to an extent, he likes that (but he's not NEARLY as crazy with that as Nigellus/Misfortune is).
He has a vore fetish for many morbidly skewed reasons. Aside from having been forcefully stunted at a young age - when he was swallowed alive by a sultry female angel - he passively enjoys hearing the monstrous breathing sounds that his mother and grandmother emit. He is also overwhelmed by things like the sound and feeling of his mother's heartbeats whenever she cuddles with him intimately (which she does almost too much in her leisure time, as if he were a plushy! x3). However, in his vore fetish he greatly fears the exact same things that he loves, which is why he is reluctant to openly express his affections at those things. Also worth noting is that these stimuli affect him psychologically and pathologically, which plays a part in the context of the previous journal I posted here. The idea is that, whenever Nigel is around Chanda or his grandmother Gloria, he personally begins to fear for his safety AND feel secure at the same time, which gives him a mixed jumble of thoughts that he can only identify with as 'feeling as though he is dying whenever they're around'. The thought is psychotic. But it is just as much theraputic to him as it is frightening. And since his grandmother doesn't quite DIG that (she thinks it's insane) she feels appauled that he would even express himself in such a way. But a funny fact about how Nigel sees Gloria is that he's essentially OBSESSED with the mere SIGHT of her. She is MASSIVE, more than Chanda, and very fluffy. But most of the time, whenever he tries to show affection towards her, she vehemently rejects his advances, and sometimes in a violent way.
^ It's a~
Nigel: Dear GOD you'resexy! beautiful! I just wanna...
Gloria: ?! FUCK OFF!!!
~kind of relationship.
But even though he likes how Gloria LOOKS, he's more infatuated with Chanda, since he's around her more. And by now you may be able to understand why he would love her in totally inappropriate ways.
It ALSO doesn't help that her vagina puts a VICE GRIP all around his arm whenever he douches her out.
But maybe it 'does'...
I was floating around my alt account, and then I got the idea to develop a poem. The first thoughts that came were of two verses of it. I liked how the verses sounded. But a funny fact is that just after I thought of those sections, I began to think of the BACKSTORY behind the poem more than the poem itself, and thusly forgot what the poem was entirely. XD I could only recall the first four words of the verse I thought up, and nothing else, because the very commentary I intend to include with this poem is almost like a story in itself, sooo...I focused more on that, and forgot everything else. XD
I like the commentary though. :)
This is what I have so far:
===============
Hands that can love. Claws that can tear.
Strength to survive. Know that I care.
===============
The above is subject to revision. But the commentary is finished.
Here is the commentary:
Nigel's not NEARLY as much of an artist as Ryan and Punk are. And even Shila, who struggles with proper word pronounciation, has it going for her more than he does, as far as overall effort is concerned.
Nigel is persistent and very stubborn, which can work in his favor. But somewhere in his soul, he honestly doesn't see himself as much of an artistic type. But that's not his goal...so much. He understands that it's nice to have a talent that people could love him for.
But that's not why he wrote this.He's not exactly unaware of how overenthusiastic he can be, which can be bad for him. But he knows [some of] the differences between right and wrong. He just wants his mother to know that he loves her. But contrary to that, he doesn't always feel comfortable with the idea of letting her know that he ADMIRES her. It's a secretive matter that makes him happy. But for every ounce of joy it gives him, it makes him feel shame twice as much. And why? Well, it's almost like Nicholas says (albeit with hasty abandon): "He isn't much to her in the first place." However, that's not so much a 'fact' as it's just a 'factor'.
But maybe if he gave her something special, he could change that? Maybe if she understood how he feels; what he has in mind; he could connect with her better? "She can UNDERSTAND this. It makes so much sense... - If she reads it, maybe I can prove myself to her? This will show her that I'm not worthless after all..."
He doesn't get it.
But in his small world, he didn't know to do anything else.
Nigel is © to
guzzlemuzzle9460"Warrior I Love"A future poem written by an introverted kitty who's feels shy about letting his mother know just how he loves her.
BONUS PORNY EXPLANATIONS!!!Because of who and what Chanda is, Nigel has all sorts of fetishes.
He likes paws because he likes it when she pets him, and when he can see her showing off the thick soles of her hindfeet when she 'stalks' around in her feral form.
He has a [slight] dominance fetish because, to put it simply, she is overwhelming to him, and to an extent, he likes that (but he's not NEARLY as crazy with that as Nigellus/Misfortune is).
He has a vore fetish for many morbidly skewed reasons. Aside from having been forcefully stunted at a young age - when he was swallowed alive by a sultry female angel - he passively enjoys hearing the monstrous breathing sounds that his mother and grandmother emit. He is also overwhelmed by things like the sound and feeling of his mother's heartbeats whenever she cuddles with him intimately (which she does almost too much in her leisure time, as if he were a plushy! x3). However, in his vore fetish he greatly fears the exact same things that he loves, which is why he is reluctant to openly express his affections at those things. Also worth noting is that these stimuli affect him psychologically and pathologically, which plays a part in the context of the previous journal I posted here. The idea is that, whenever Nigel is around Chanda or his grandmother Gloria, he personally begins to fear for his safety AND feel secure at the same time, which gives him a mixed jumble of thoughts that he can only identify with as 'feeling as though he is dying whenever they're around'. The thought is psychotic. But it is just as much theraputic to him as it is frightening. And since his grandmother doesn't quite DIG that (she thinks it's insane) she feels appauled that he would even express himself in such a way. But a funny fact about how Nigel sees Gloria is that he's essentially OBSESSED with the mere SIGHT of her. She is MASSIVE, more than Chanda, and very fluffy. But most of the time, whenever he tries to show affection towards her, she vehemently rejects his advances, and sometimes in a violent way.
^ It's a~
Nigel: Dear GOD you're
Gloria: ?! FUCK OFF!!!
~kind of relationship.
But even though he likes how Gloria LOOKS, he's more infatuated with Chanda, since he's around her more. And by now you may be able to understand why he would love her in totally inappropriate ways.
It ALSO doesn't help that her vagina puts a VICE GRIP all around his arm whenever he douches her out.
But maybe it 'does'...
But the smallest exertion of hers could send a man flying; him, and possibly others as well, shattering much of the pride of many an unknowledgeable foe within mere seconds.(link) Something Massive (Unfinished)
(link) The Fetishism of My Works, Displayed For Easy Finding.
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