Alright...things have been really, really bad now. I feel incredibly guilty that I've not gotten everyone's commissions done yet, and I'm really frustrated because I really do want to get them done as soon as possible. Lots of lousy stuff is going on at the moment, but I'm trying my best to get my shit back together soon.

Firstly, I'm having some serious money issues, because apparently my disability money is being changed up as a result of my mum's death. I don't know why they're only just getting around to changing it now, but the disability cheque is being changed to a different amount and on a different date (the second Wednesday of the month instead of the 1st of the month, meaning a week and a half of no money). I'm still trying to get all of this sorted, and it's confusing. The plus side is that when I do finally get it set up, I'll be getting slightly larger cheques, so there's at least some good from it.

As a result of this change, I've been flat broke for a few weeks, which is really stressing me out, and I haven't been able to afford cigarettes which is making it even worse. Withdrawl is really not nice to me, so I've been sick and pretty much completely incapacitated. Even if I hadn't been having trouble with the whole art rut thing, I absolutely cannot get anything done like this, cos I'm so goddamned jittery and my hands will not do what I want them to at all. I can barely even hold the bloody stylus.

Things ARE starting to look up a bit, though. A couple of friends were nice enough to give me money to pay for food and appointments and such, and another friend (who is awesome) ordered a couple of packs of ecigs for me, which hopefully should be showing up within the next couple of days so I can stop being a complete wreck. I fully intend to get my shit together as soon as I'm not having to deal with withdrawl anymore, and force myself to draw until I get these bloody commissions done.

This journal is just to let you know what's been holding me up, and I'm not asking for donations. I'm also not taking any more commissions until I can work through my current queue and be able to clear it up for future stuff. I really really hate that I've been keeping people waiting, so I want a clear queue to make things start moving faster.

Again, I'm very intensely sorry for all of this. I know that this is still at least partially my own fault for not working harder to pull myself out of my art rut, so I'm owning up to that now, but a lot of bad shit has also been going on...I've really not been having a good past several months, as far as my personal life goes. Ugh. I'm so sorry, and I'm going to try to fix this.