Soooo sooo much has happened since my last update to you all. My ex mate and I have finally had the true closure we needed. I will ALWAYS love him, but I have finally accepted that he can never be the boyfriend, or husband I would need someday, and he knows that too, and so has set me free. We were very on again and off again, and it was so hard to finally make the conclusion that it is over forever. However in time I believe he and I can be very close friends. I celebrated his birthday with him, and we had one last loving night together, but it was different.. We both knew that things could never and would never be the same again. We had a nice dinner and expressed our care for each other later that night and how much we love each other, but we both know that it just can never be. I cried a LOT, but it was good, and I finally feel ok with it.

On ANOTHER note more of an update, (Sorry this all seems random and sudden because of my lack of updatedness lol) I have sort of been in communication with this OTHER guy. I had pretty much sworn off men for a good long time, but was browsing online and bladidah just to distract myself from my ex.. EVERYONE that spoke to me, I on purpose tried to chase off like the plague, and was blatantly up front that i just wanted a distraction, was not going to be giving them ANYTHING, or doing anything with them, just wanted to go out and talk to random people. During the beginning of this I explained about how I was hoping to try again with my ex in 6 months, and I was leaving the door open to him etc etc but whoever should come through it if they are the right man for me I will know. Well THIS guy was so supportive, listened to ALL of my backstory and everything about me and my ex, was totally non pushy, and mainly just listened and offered support etc. and never mentioned us dating etc. This man is Jewish, and my EXACT physical type and personality, and even has MORE in common than my ex and me did. He seems ABSOLUTELY EXACT to my type.. well.. except for the 8 pack.. hahahah I dont like abs.. lol but that can be remedied MWUAHAHHA LOL. Anyways he and I wound up talking all night long into the hours of the early morning. He then would text me good morning every morning and text me and call me on his breaks from work.

Well everything was amazing, and he just seems like the PERFECT guy for me, even though we haven't even met yet, but he lives a state away. Well.. as luck would have it all of a sudden he stopped calling me and I hadn't heard from him in about 4 days. I started to worry, and believe that it was just too good to be true, and he just was no longer interested. WELL, about two days ago, I got a text from his cousin, on his phone telling me that the guy I like had an accident at work and was in the hospital, but that he had heard about me. So apparently the guy I like has been telling his family about me :) I was so worried about him being in the hospital I baked him cookies and mailed them yesterday. Then TODAY I find out more because I had no idea what actually happened because communication with his cousin has been spotty. So I found out today that he suffered an injury to the back of his head and one of his hands, and that his memory right now isn't the best, but he remembers MY name and some other names right now, but his cousin told me right now he has just been sitting there and staring out the window and doesn't say much.. Of COURSE that is just my luck, BUT he remembers MY name and it sounds like he SHOULD hopefully recover fully, I think he may just be in shock as well.. SO I have decided to go one state over where he is and meet him for the first time, and try to offer him some comfort and try to make him smile. The PROBLEM is I have like zero money right now for gas and am moving in a few weeks so am planning to finish this damn dragon template thingy for customs on here to try and raise some money for furniture as well. SO if any of you wish to donate to this cause to help me go meet this guy, and help him out etc etc. I will happily do a combo mini sketch compilation with everyone's character who helps donate to this. I am planning to go Friday, but donating even a bit after will still help me to recover enough after this trip for going to buy groceries etc, because I should have just about enough in my account for a tank of gas there I think.

If you wish to donate my paypal address is shottsy85[at]gmail.com

If you donate, just send me a note on here with who you are on paypal so I can confirm who you were, and a link to the character you want me to add to the combo mini sketch :) Thanks in advance to any that contribute to helping me meet this guy, and help him to snap out of his funk, and put a smile on his face. If this guy is the one, like my mom and others think he MAY be, this could be a really cute story years from now!

-Shottsy