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Victim shaming & blaming (sexual harassment at Anthrocon)
13 years ago
I kinda wanted to change the topic after yesterday's post, but then I heard of a friend of a friend who was harassed by a middle-aged, pot-bellied man at Anthrocon. He made unsolicited and highly inappropriate sexual remarks, asked to touch her boobs and when she declined him, told her that if they hadn't been in public, he would have done as he pleased anyway. She wrote a post to see if other women had received the same treatment from him so maybe people could identify him and AC staff could take steps against him and some other women did indeed come forward saying they had been harassed by a man of the same description and heard him walking around saying "Oh she's sexy, I'd definitely fuck her."
I'd love to show you this post and help further the effort to oust this creeper out of a way-too-trusting fandom with scores of potentially vulnerable individuals and help keep them safe from molestation by this individual at the very least. However, the woman was bullied and harassed into removing the post.
For women it's a "damned if you do, damned if you don't" kind of situation.
Starting at the very foundations, girls are taught how vulnerable they are to sexual harassment and assault. They're taught "stranger danger" (even though most victims know their assailant personally), they're taught to dress modestly and not travel places alone and to say "no" and run away and all that. But at the same time girls are taught that they should be nice and accommodating to people. So when they're in a potentially dangerous situation and their own gut instinct warns them about it, they'll still try and be nice! They'll answer questions, they won't raise their voice and tell the creeper to take a flying leap, they won't extract themselves from the situation or ask a stranger for help. And predators know this!
Here's an interesting little tidbit victim-blamers seem blissfully unaware of; most rapes do not happen with a rapist yanking a completely unknown woman off the street and into an alley! Most sexual harassment happens between people who know each other; family, friends, friends of friends, people at conventions, people in the same social circles. And grooming isn't just for pedophiles anymore!
Predators will talk and manipulate their victims until they're too confused or paralyzed with fear to resist, protest or afterwards, to report.
And if they muster the courage to do so anyway? You can bet there's a legion of goons ready to tell them they're wrong. That they're dumb. That they should have done this or that. That they misinterpreted someone's social ineptitude. That they must have been asking for it.
Let's stop pretending sexual harassment is caused by anything or anyone except the person approaching another in a sexually aggressive manner.
Yesterday's post was prompted by the fact I cannot walk (literally, I checked on Google maps) 150 meters from my front door to the mailbox to mail a card to my friend without getting shouted at by guys 2 minutes out of the 3 minute walk; once in going there, and once in coming back. And they kept shouting 'till I was like 50 meters away even though I didn't acknowledge them at all. And I was wearing pants that were 2 sizes too big (with a belt) and a shirt covered in cat hair. Oh baby, so sexy right? I usually just wear a shirt and pants and I'm a pretty average looking woman, yet I've had guys try and follow me home, random guys grab my ass, corner me at work, proposition me etc. If I started about all the obscene comments and lewd gesturing I would literally be here all day.
But here's a useful link on the subject: http://rookiemag.com/2012/05/it-hap.....-all-the-time/
I'm not sure if victim-blamers understand how incredibly common all this behavior is. Maybe if they did they wouldn't find it so hard to believe that a woman, dressed casually, minding her own business in a public place, can get harassed in such an atrocious manner as the woman at Anthrocon was. And how it's no-one's fault but the guy's.
It's in everyone's best interest to identify and eject these people from sites, conventions and social circles in general.
Let's not beat around the bush, there's a lot of naive and socially inept people in the furry fandom. People who have been rejected everywhere else and find a home in a fandom that does it's best to make everyone feel included. And without sarcasm, I think that's wonderful.
That said, it makes for fertile hunting grounds for people who would take advantage of these people. The fandom would do well to differentiate between socially unacceptable behavior because it's weird but harmless and behavior that's socially unacceptable because it does harm to others, and reject people of the latter category and their white knights.
In closing, if you were sexually harassed at Anthrocon, write to Uncle Kage.
I'd love to show you this post and help further the effort to oust this creeper out of a way-too-trusting fandom with scores of potentially vulnerable individuals and help keep them safe from molestation by this individual at the very least. However, the woman was bullied and harassed into removing the post.
For women it's a "damned if you do, damned if you don't" kind of situation.
Starting at the very foundations, girls are taught how vulnerable they are to sexual harassment and assault. They're taught "stranger danger" (even though most victims know their assailant personally), they're taught to dress modestly and not travel places alone and to say "no" and run away and all that. But at the same time girls are taught that they should be nice and accommodating to people. So when they're in a potentially dangerous situation and their own gut instinct warns them about it, they'll still try and be nice! They'll answer questions, they won't raise their voice and tell the creeper to take a flying leap, they won't extract themselves from the situation or ask a stranger for help. And predators know this!
Here's an interesting little tidbit victim-blamers seem blissfully unaware of; most rapes do not happen with a rapist yanking a completely unknown woman off the street and into an alley! Most sexual harassment happens between people who know each other; family, friends, friends of friends, people at conventions, people in the same social circles. And grooming isn't just for pedophiles anymore!
Predators will talk and manipulate their victims until they're too confused or paralyzed with fear to resist, protest or afterwards, to report.
And if they muster the courage to do so anyway? You can bet there's a legion of goons ready to tell them they're wrong. That they're dumb. That they should have done this or that. That they misinterpreted someone's social ineptitude. That they must have been asking for it.
Let's stop pretending sexual harassment is caused by anything or anyone except the person approaching another in a sexually aggressive manner.
Yesterday's post was prompted by the fact I cannot walk (literally, I checked on Google maps) 150 meters from my front door to the mailbox to mail a card to my friend without getting shouted at by guys 2 minutes out of the 3 minute walk; once in going there, and once in coming back. And they kept shouting 'till I was like 50 meters away even though I didn't acknowledge them at all. And I was wearing pants that were 2 sizes too big (with a belt) and a shirt covered in cat hair. Oh baby, so sexy right? I usually just wear a shirt and pants and I'm a pretty average looking woman, yet I've had guys try and follow me home, random guys grab my ass, corner me at work, proposition me etc. If I started about all the obscene comments and lewd gesturing I would literally be here all day.
But here's a useful link on the subject: http://rookiemag.com/2012/05/it-hap.....-all-the-time/
I'm not sure if victim-blamers understand how incredibly common all this behavior is. Maybe if they did they wouldn't find it so hard to believe that a woman, dressed casually, minding her own business in a public place, can get harassed in such an atrocious manner as the woman at Anthrocon was. And how it's no-one's fault but the guy's.
It's in everyone's best interest to identify and eject these people from sites, conventions and social circles in general.
Let's not beat around the bush, there's a lot of naive and socially inept people in the furry fandom. People who have been rejected everywhere else and find a home in a fandom that does it's best to make everyone feel included. And without sarcasm, I think that's wonderful.
That said, it makes for fertile hunting grounds for people who would take advantage of these people. The fandom would do well to differentiate between socially unacceptable behavior because it's weird but harmless and behavior that's socially unacceptable because it does harm to others, and reject people of the latter category and their white knights.
In closing, if you were sexually harassed at Anthrocon, write to Uncle Kage.
And that guy needs a fist to the face.
Approaching a girl like that, and in person?
Was there noone else around to help her? People need to be more sensibilized for this sort of thing, so that they instantly react and drive someone like that away from his victim.
And yes they should, but they never will as long as bullies keep suppressing these stories.
Agreed. There's no excuse for such behavior.
He needs to be Castrated, WITHOUT anesthesia.
I've told my step daughter then "what you wear can get you attention you don't want" because it is true. However, being victimized can happen even to utter tom boys who look like guys. I know. I've been there myself. Once someone "recognizes" that one is "desirable" in some way, and has that mindset, they will do what they will. It doesn't make sense.
I found out this past year that an ex of mine is a pedophile. Like others who "supported him" at the time the initial accusations were brought to bear I doubted them. I couldn't deny the look in the kids eyes, or how they avoided physical contact from him. But I also couldn't believe that someone I loved and devoted myself to could be so sick. It didn't "fit" his // outward // personality. Some of thee "jokes" he made then about "if it's got a hole" were previously waved off, due to the fact that it was a "common joke" among folks who would, honestly, NEVER do something like that, Yet, he hid in plain sight. Most of us even now just shake our heads in bewilderment.
The people he messed with and molested? Close family friends. Neighbors (friends of the kids he messed with). Girlfriend's little siblings (normally girls). Family. As a trucker he also met up with "lot lizards" and generally did "screw anything with a hole". When he started showing me some of the websites he visits for "fun" I got more and more uncomfortable. I made comments like "as long as it's just hand drawn images, no biggie" and he'd confide to me that "nubile young ones or old wrinkly ones, a female is a wonderful thing" and other shit like that. All of which made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. When I talked to a "sister" of mine (very close family friend) I found out he had gone after her before, and had made some comments about her daughter, and she had disowned him since NO ONE but her husband and his friends believed her.
He's been arrested finally. Many are coming out.. but even now some are being advised by their own kin to "let it go". Even if they cannot get "justice" or "recompense" due to the statue of limitations in the US (varies state to state, but is generally 7 yrs), they can at least provide evidence to stop this, and maybe get this guy evaluated to see if he CAN get help. Some just can't. Some were abused as kids and need a lot of therapy. Others are, I hate to say it, lost causes due to how their brain is wired.
Regardless, people need to know not to take this and wave it off, or act like someone else will take care of it, because by doing so one is aiding the suffering of others by inaction. By not coming out and voicing your issues, others will continue to suffer the same fate when it could be stopped.
I've been stalked by folks who thought, just because my sister was "easy" that I must be "easy too". They had a taste of her and wanted the "older one" to see if their assumptions were the same.
In HS I had my ass smacked, grabbed, my arms touched, people trying to get into my personal space and "talk me up". I reacted very outwardly and became a "guy" just to STOP these advances, which were unwanted, unwarranted, and unwelcome.
There is a series of reasons, good or bad, that my fursona is neutral, more animal, less sexual, non-sexed, and the names I choose were also neutral, non-gendered. With people "thinking" I was a guy, even online, I had a form of protection from predators.
Sad huh?
'cept maybe in the 'ex' ones, yikes. That is super creepy.
A friend of mine was assaulted by someone she knew and even the police blew her off. Eventually more and more girls came out with the same story and something was finally done, and then even more girls came out with similar stories. But even then people's responses were horrible. They were part of a LARP/reenactment sort of thing and people were just saying "Oh well they shouldn't have gotten in the car with him, they knew what was going to happen."
What kind of world is this that we can't get a lift from a friend (or who pretends to be your friend, and they can be really good at it) without expecting to be molested?
So. Much. Rage.
It makes me so angry that there are people who feel so entitled to someone else's body and sexuality and so indifferent about the suffering they inflict to get their jollies.
Drawing furry smut doesn't imply being a creep, nor accepting creeps. One should learn respect.
But it ain't an excuse at all, and anthro fans or artists have the right (read: obligation) to react in an appropriate manner against that sort of parasites.
People should be able to dress however they want without fear of being harassed or assaulted for it. Hell, people should be able to walk out their door without fear of being harassed or assaulted as this case may be. No matter how I look at it, the ass who did the assaulting is to blame, not the victim, and that's how it should be! (Actually, it should be that there are no victims, but sadly this isn't a perfect world)
As I said in that original post, we all MUST look out for each other at cons, whether we know the furry or not. I also said if I were there, I would have done something to help her. If they're being harassed or assaulted, DO SOMETHING. RIGHT THEN. We must all adopt a "no tolerance" policy. And yes, if you are able to call on Security or Police, DO IT.
The fact that this has been spread to those scummy sites and played off as "lulzy" speaks volumes on their poor taste and cruelty. It sickens me. AC Staff need to be made aware of this situation.
HERE! HERE!
Several years ago, when my cousin was a teenager, she was raped and assaulted. Already not a strong personality, she suffered a full mental breakdown and has NEVER recovered. NEVER. She has to be on medical disability as she cannot hold a job due to her mental instability. Most of the time she cannot even drive as it is too stressful. She wasn't even going to press charges until my aunts, who are of a stronger metal, encouraged and supported and vowed to protect her. The guy went to trial, was convicted and served time. He's probably out by now (20+ years later) and attacking someone else. She is married but to a guy who is about as stable as she is, but who is also a drunk and abusive. They have two kids who have all of their mom and dad's mental health issues. Wonderful, two more broken people added to the population.
All that suffering (on my cousins' part, I don't know why her husband is the way he is) because of one man and his inability to be a normal human being.
I've not been to a convention since and you couldn't pay me to go to one.
And cons can be fun, but I would suggest going with friends.
Not just for safety, but also because it's more fun.
Not that I haven't had people try things at cons -_-
Why would someone be harassed into removing a post reporting what amounts to a misdemeanor under the laws of the United States and punishable with an arrest?
I will see it gets a lot of attention.
I'm sorry, if someone did that to me, that blog would stay up and nothing would have kept me from taking it down. Honestly, women, show some courage and speak out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Speaking out about this sort of thing is really hard, and especially with the "lulz" crowd they easily resort to rape threats and doxing.
DOING something about it is quite another.
Forget it. Whatever.
Yes, the blog post would be beneficial if it had stayed up. But it was probably overwhelming her to receive so much criticism and it was not solving any problem, just creating more.
But this girl has already done so much by stirring the pot. People are talking about this. They're trying to come up with solutions. It is not going to go away. The victim is allowed to have her privacy, now.
I know it was all in fun, and sure, I can take a laugh now and then, but...there's just some things you DO not do. As much as people PRETEND they are animals - they're still human and should abide by society's rules and mannerisms.
I imagine "do not slurp strangers" is on that list somewhere. lol
This is why I am so so so glad I yanked my boyfriend along with me. ;-; And we kept in a small group.
I only with this person could be called out publicly. That's so scary. :c And Creepy.
Big slobbish middle-aged man. Followed me back into the hotel, hovered over me, brushed against me and sat beside me to start saying how "you all sure disappear when the sun goes down" and to ask me what furry is (Which I tried to answer, because like you said, have to be polite!) and then interrupted me to lean close and lower his voice and chuckle 'Yeah just a bunch of people letting loose and acting like animals huh?' Fucking. UGh. UGH. GO AWAY.
Whoever that small group of furry boys was who happened to walk by at just that moment, they have so much of my gratitude for letting me latch onto them and escape him. ._.
Just nasty, and scary, and so inappropriate.
Not quite as blunt as the guy these girls had to deal with, but still. .-.
No badge then? I think this guy wasn't "attending" the con, just hovering around harassing people.
I didn't say ANYTHING TO HIM for most of the time. I checked outside the hotel, saw no one was there, saw him, IGNORED, came back inside where it was well lit and where front desk could see me.
He followed me in and paced for a while, looking around, and I tried to hide in my phone. Only time I even looked up was when he asked what furry was, which I tried to make as short and unappealing as possible, half absorbed in my phone (Twittering 'please go away giant nonfurry man pleasedontrapeme' x__x). He just fucking would not be deterred.
I spotted a little group of boys in ears and tails and badges and such, and SPRANG on them, haha. :(
I'm not a meek woman, and I was frankly shocked at how tiny and helpless I felt in those moments.
I wasn't dressed provocatively at all. I don't dress that way. I don't behave in a way that should suggest I welcome advances from nasty slobs off the street. x__x
I wonder if it was the same guy. Maybe this guy was just stalking the con. He definitely seemed to have the impression that wearing an AC badge meant it was ok to harass me.
Er, and pants. X_x;
I wonder how long that guy had been hovering around the con..
Even with how horribly afraid of him I was, I still wasn't sure I should say anything. ._. That whole thing of being conditioned to give the benefit of the doubt even when you're in danger is so true, and something I've never felt or thought of before. I didn't know if I was right for being afraid of him, what if he wasn't trying to be a creep? What if I was just being rude? etc.
It can be really hard to stand your ground and trust your gut instinct.
If he'd actually done something that I could say was assaulting, I would have.. :/ I don't think that giving me the creeps is really a reportable offense.
Hurr, second language. I grammar good.
The only thing I wish for those creeps is, one day, a girl will get the opportunity to KICK THEM IN THE BALLS till they're crushed.
That.. or the person goes poof and the answer is we can't do anything because we can't get hold of em and don't know where they are...
It's frightening what humanity can and does do to other members of its' own...
I heard of two cases of assault at the convention. One was my friend's husband who was continually leaned/rubbed up against by a man while watching the Sardyuon performance. The really absolutely awful part about this is he was holding his 9-month old daughter. The guy was grinning.
The second case was a man who I believe was in a wheelchair who was groping women. I don't know if anyone else encountered this guy, but if so, it might be good to spread the word on who he was.
That's bullshit.
People who harass or assault should be the people who should know better. A woman or a trans person or a minority or a gay/lesbian/queer etc should NOT be blamed for harassment. The harassers should.
And ten years since the incident, I am stronger and willing to stand up for myself and those who feel they don't have a strong enough voice.
Rawr.
Let us speak next week about it. artyewok at gmail! or Via LJ.
I think one of the thing sI'd probably eventually tell one of those guys would be hurtful truth. As in, that should hurt them :
"wow...you have no idea on how many people like you I see everyday, and how much I hate them..."
But, you know, so that they don't get pissed off and all, I think it's good to be at the same time honest and understanding sounding.
Like indeed asking if this ever worked, if they're pretending to be assholes because it's fun, or what exactly are they expecting with such a behaviour.
Ugh. Please send my deepest regards to the victim of this horrid person.
Not this post, but the people who denounced the post and shamed the person enough to take it down... and the fact this even happened in the first place. I wish people could be civil, and despite crap like this, I do know that a majority of people are civil. Just... wow... =( Reading these things always hits a lot harder than the number of good people I know out there.
Really hope the creep is found and banned.
Just go to 9gag and you'll see hundreds of rape apologists.
(I don't go to cons myself and I have never been harassed/assaulted but I still believe with all my heart that everybody should have the right to feel safe!)
And what is REALLY sad about this situation is that it's probably not going to get as much attention as your standard furry drama :I I'm going to relink this in the hopes it goes around.
My condolences to you and your friend, I hope that the "gentleman" in question is brought to the proper authorities... people who are like that really can't be rehabilitated 90% of the time from what I've seen. As soon as they're released they wait a bit and go right back to it. x.x
Coming onto someone is one thing (use some tact, people), and tough macho acting around guys is another (not condoned), but...seriously, some people are just ridiculous. That whole bit about how if they were in public, he would have had his way anyways; that I cannot tolerate at all. Unfortunately, I've known quite a lot of people like that personally, especially lately, and it makes me ashamed to be classified in the male gender bracket... My condolences to your friend and all that have had to deal with such unwanted sexual harassment.
I'm extremely proud of most people in this thread!
I don't know who the victim is, but I know what it feels like to be in her shoes. As you stated above, you have been followed, cat called, all the above, and so have I. I'm sure most woman have, and its sad that this is basically the norm for us. We shouldn't have to worry about getting unwanted attention. I show my sympathy for her, and I wish Kage would spend more time trying to protect the congoers, instead of trying to save a doomed shop.
We all just need to watch out for eachother, and by that I mean mankind. In or out of the fandom. You see something wrong, do the right thing and report it. I myself, would have stepped in and ripped the guy a new one.
I remember my autistic sister who was 13 at the time and she was verbally harassed by two boys on her way to the bathroom who both made remarks about her body and that it "Looks good on you, kid." She even told me they made 'scary faces' at her after they walked away. I remember getting so upset and wanted so badly to know who those two boys were and give them a piece of my mind, and I was so angry that I could have gave them a piece of my fist. I never had gotten so mad in my life and I kind of felt scared of myself for even thinking about hitting somebody, because I'm not a violent person. However, if anybody is going to make remarks like that to someone I care for, I go into rage mode.
If someone makes unwanted sexual remarks, inappropriately touches, or etc. to anybody, I step right in these kinds of situations and make sure the victim feels safe and the ingrates are out of sight. Of course, I have enough will power to stop myself from even striking someone (I haven't striked anybody), but I definately have thought about it before. My sister is, again, autistic and even she knew there was something very wrong with what was happening and I am proud of her for telling me and the parents about it after it happened. I even reminded her that she did nothing wrong to deserve that and she told me she knew that those boys acted wrong.
I'm a naturally protective person and even if I'm having a good time or content, wherever I am, I'm always careful and on the watch. I know there are good people all around us, but there's just that small percentage of horrible people that you need to watch out for. I know this has been said many times, but really, it could happen to anyone. I've known that for a good while now. We could start with some kind of program at cons where there would be a large group of people learning how to help and step in whenever sexual harassment is taking place if that would help any and I certainly think it would. Nobody should be embarassed to speak out if they felt uncomfortable, scared and/or threatened in these situations. We could all help each other.
To everyone else, I would like to clarify that this incident occurred at around 12:30PM on Monday after AC. This isn't something that happened during the con - I was literally standing on the curb outside the Westin, in broad daylight and surrounded by hundreds of people, waiting for my boyfriend with all of my party's luggage at my feet. Had this been something that occurred during the convention, no doubt I would have run to the Dorsai and reported this man. But it was the end of a long and exhausting weekend. I was already sleep-deprived, and the only thing on my mind after the incident occurred was, "I just want to go home". No, leaving the scene without immediately alerting the authorities wasn't the smartest move on my part, but I wasn't exactly in the best frame of mind.
As soon as we got home (I live about 35 minutes north of Pittsburgh), my boyfriend notified the city police. I didn't just come bawww'ing to the Internets like some folks would claim. I only posted the journal after a report had been filed. The point of my journal was not to gather sympathy or to beg other members of the fandom to fight my battles for me. The purpose of writing was to find others who may have encountered this same individual over the weekend. I also had reason to believe that he would make an appearance at future furry conventions, so I wanted to alert other members of the community.
A TL;DR recap of what happened:
I was standing outside of the Westin when I was approached by man who asked if I was here for the convention. I told him yes, and asked if he was as well. He said no - he just came out to "admire the beautiful women" and he admitted to being a bit of a hornball. I got the impression that he was an openly sexual person, but we have such a diverse array of personalities in the furry fandom that it didn't strike me as anything to be overly concerned about. Either way, I was unable to abandon my post because of the pile of mixed belongings at my feet, so I didn't cut and run like I probably should have. Instead I made an attempt to re-direct the conversation by telling him about furry, about the convention, etc. Also made sure to mention my boyfriend so that he would get the hint that I am NOT available.
After he appeared to take the hint, he went to leave but then asked for a quick hug. For many furs, including myself, hugging and a general sense of openness is a part of furry "culture". This man had probably spent the entire weekend hugging fursuiters, so against my better judgement I assumed that it was an innocent gesture and that he would just go about his business afterward. I let him hug me, and it was then that he proceeded to rub himself against me and comment on my breast size. He then asked if he could put his hand down my shirt, and at this point I was too stunned to mutter anything more than, "No, please don't". He finally went to leave but made one final remark that, had there not been anybody else around, he would have raped me right then and there.
After I posted the journal, I was told by one close friend and two watchers on FA that they had spoken with this exact same person (or at least someone matching his physical description and mannerisms) as early as Friday during the con. I have little reason to believe that he was actually a part of the convention, as he said himself that he wasn't an attendee and he was sporting no furry accessories or badges. But I worry that, because I gave him information about Anthrocon, he will return again to stalk more young women next year.
As far as the victim-bashing is concerned, I have been blamed for this happening because I didn't hit him or scream for help, or run away and abandon my belongings (which included personal keepsakes as well as a $1000 camera), and it was even implied that I lied about the incident in order to get attention, and that I *wanted* to get harassed because I consented to his hug in the first place (keep in mind that my guard was waaaay down because I had been immersed in a very friendly / huggy environment for the past 4 days).
Because I am an artist who generates a portion of my income from furry art and because I have worked so hard to make a good name for myself in this community, I feared that keeping the original journal around was only going to open the door for drama that could hurt my reputation and business. In addition I was being made an example of, because "this is proof that the furry fandom is a hugbox for sex offenders". I felt that keeping the journal up was going to be harmful for the fandom, and I love furry too much to contribute something negative to its reputation. Although thanks to whoever posted it to 4chan and lulz.net, I suppose the damage is already done.
Also, kudos for filing a police report!
I hope you're doing better after all this. Kudos for posting this and spreading awareness.
Thsi really has nothing to do with furry outside of beign an open inviiting group to begin with and more about some horney lobley chack ass hitting on our preciously small population of females. (I kid)
Hopefully he'll get caught, cus I doubt thsi si the only tiem he has done this, and likely does this to other groups fo people or singlel women
I'm so sorry this happened to you, and I hope they catch the creeper :(
Now I dont think this happens nearly as much out of suit, but i'm sure it does, you're just more vulnerable in character/suit.
While the behavior is unacceptable, it's also unavoidable. All you can do especially as a girl, is to travel in a group at all times, possibly with a camera, and when or if you are apprached in a way you do not like, and after you tell them no, if they persue, you report it, get their bage name, and if possible take a picture of the individual. and report it to the nearest security person you can find or go to con ops.
It's a big wide gray area, cus I'll tell you, it didnt bug me that I was getting the attention...it bothered me who I was getting it from. So considering some people are less descriminating, or considering thats how our kind hook up with each other, you cant stop the initial advance, if you're cute it's going to happen. All we can do is be honest with how it makes us feel to the person doing the pushing, and reporting those that do not respect that so they can be scared in to behaving, or baned from the con (if they are attendees) For those they are not attending..well if they are in con space, they need to be reported anyway, if not, ..we need to stand up for ourselves/eachother. if ti goes further then verbal, you can try to report it to the police
Good that a police report was filed. Hopefully there were security cams outside the hotel and this creepy bastard is caught on video and ends up in JAIL.
Seriously, girls especially are easy targets for ridicule when bring sexual harassment of any degree out into the open. Cries of "drama whore", "just looking for attention", etc. all pop up while the real issue is ignored or belittled. This is why this needs to be brought to attention more than ever!
On a sidenote, this makes me nervous.. I was planning to attend my first con next year by myself. I /really/ don't want "bodyguards" or people to babysit me while I'm just trying to have fun and take in the sights. You know?