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Trans*Aware PSA
13 years ago
⭐️ be rootin, be tootin, and by god be shootin ⭐️ I realized today that I've never really done any sort of journal or public message about being trans (and in most cases like to avoid trans-centric conversations, at least with complete strangers) but I know that I'm definitely not alone on here with having it be a central part of life. There are a bunch of mtf/ftm trans*people and simply genderfluid person's out there, some of which I consider friends. It's a long, scary, and confusing road for most of us, so I'd like to take a moment to talk about what we are, and more importantly, who we are.
What is Trans?
To understand what Trans means you need to adjust your perspective on a few things that many of us are raised to believe are binary. Things like Orientation, Gender, and of course, Sex.
>But wait, aren't gender and sex the same thing?<
NO.
Gender is someone's perspective of themselves in their mind. This means masculinity and femininity. This varies even with cisgendered people (non-trans persons) from time to time. Some men are more feminine than others, some women more masculine. It happens!
Sex means the parts down there you're born with. If you have a Y chromosome you're male. Ergo, XX is female.
These are not the same thing at all and sometimes.... Our gender doesn't match our sex.
But please remember that these three things I've mentioned,
*Sex
*Gender
*Sexual Orientation
are not binary things. There is no Male - Female divide. All of them are a spectrum between two extremes and a general middle option. You can fit anywhere on the scale and you're perfectly normal! Here are the three spectrums I've mentioned:
So what's the issue with us trans* folk? As said, our Sex doesn't match our gender. In fact, it matches so badly we often experience severe discomfort, self-esteem problems and sometimes extreme emotional instability from our body which is called dysphoria. Trust me when I tell you that this dysphoria is nothing to be laughed at and is serious. Imagine being stuck in a complete stranger's body and being told to live like them when you feel the most out of place you could be.
For this reason, most trans*people seek to change their bodies, or sex, to match their mental gender. There are some ways that this can be done.
Both FTM(female-to-male) and MTF (male-to-female) transgenders usually approach their physical transition with hormonal therapy. Of course, before physical therapy can begin many transgenders cross-dress and/or change their names.
1. Hormone therapy usually includes monthly injections or pills of particular hormones, namely Testosterone (for FTMs) and Estrogen (for MTFs). These provoke voice change, body hair growth or reduction, muscle/fat growth and some genital changes.
2. After Hormone therapy the next step is commonly 'Top Surgery'. For FTMs this includes the reduction of the breasts and in MTFs includes the addition of implants to the breasts.
3. The next step is 'Bottom Surgery', which speaks for itself. This is the 'sex change' surgery which removes or adds the genitalia needed. These surgeries are quite complex but are still not 100% foolproof. However, these surgeries do result in mostly-functional genitalia. They can be used for intercourse. However, they cannot be used for reproductive purposes.
So, in a nutshell, trans*people are people who do not identify with the bodily sex they were born with and, in some cases, seek to change portions, if not all of it.
Who is Trans?
For this section I'd like to say that everyone's story is different. I'm just going to share mine to make it a little more clear who we are.
I was born a girl. I have very little memory before I turned seven but I've been told that I was a typical kid. Occasionally, as some backwards way of supporting me, my mum will say that she always knew I was a little bit different. I disliked skirts, dresses, barbies, and anything pink. However, I also disliked being outside, playing sports or anything loud and little-boy oriented. My favorite things were animals, legos and books. Though mostly solitary, when I played group games I often took male roles. I was pretty geared toward androgyny, and grateful to be born into a pretty open-minded family. When I asked to cut my hair short in 6th grade no one even batted an eye.
But puberty changed some things. I discovered the choice of gender, as I'd never known there was a choice. Suddenly, particularly influenced by the internet, I could choose my gender and my identity. I could choose whether to cut my hair short or not. I could create a whole new persona and, particularly on the internet, it was believable.
This was when I created my identity as 'Shade'. That was back when I first joined Deviantart and when my life was overtaken by Gaiaonline. I figured at the time... hey. If you say you're a girl no one takes you seriously or they want you to talk like a girl. I wasn't interested in being a girl... so I easily took on a male role. It was around this time that I met my best friend, misericorde. He was a blessing to me and we've supported each other throughout our personal journeys over the years.
Over time my persona shifted and I took on the name Salem. Upon changing schools in Highschool (at around age 15) I took on this name exclusively to replace my birth name. This was when I met poshfox online...~ My new highschool, friends and growing relationship were all pleasant turns from bad happenings and I felt more comfortable with myself. Of course, I still took a male persona, and it took a good amount of courage to reveal to my boyfriend, best friend and several other people I knew exclusively online that I wasn't actually male.
The two people that mattered most to me loved me regardless and I'm forever grateful for that...~ Other's, unfortunately, did not take so kindly to my confession.
I began to wonder who I was... what I was. Was I a girl who just liked gay men and hated her body? I didn't want to change it but I felt wrong looking in a mirror. Time passed and I researched more about transgender and what it meant... and one day it all clicked to me. I am not exclusively male but I am exclusively NOT female.
If you remember the spectrums mentioned before, I am andrognyous. I am also Pansexual.
I am trans* regardless. I'm more comfortable as a male than I am in any other body. Binding my chest makes me comfortable. Wearing a packer makes me confident. I am still me in brain, but the body has been adjusted to fit it.
And there is no requirement that I have to do hormones or surgery in order to be considered male.
We, as a community, are not a one-size-fits-all solution.
Every trans* has their own story and every trans* should be listened to with an open mind.
So, please, share your story and remain strong if you are trans*.
And if you are not trans but encounter one, please remember to be courteous and follow these basic rules:
*Refer to them as the pronoun/gender they ask you to. If you're not sure, ask. Most people don't mind answering.
*Never ask for a trans* person's birth name. That's extremely rude. If they trust you they might tell you.
*Never, under any circumstances, say it's 'just a phase' or insult someone's journey. We are discovering and improving ourselves under difficult pressures. No one just 'chooses' to be trans.
If you've made it this far, thank you~ I know this was particularly long... But it needed to be written.
Here are some helpful links I have found that might help. Unfortunately I'm FTM so I don't have many MTF oriented sites. If you have some to add comment with the link~
LINKS
http://trans411.net/
http://www.t-kingdom.com/shopping/e....._english.shtml BINDERS for FTMS
http://www.toolshedtoys.com/results.....?secondary=124 mostly FTM packers/harnesses but some interesting books too
http://www.underworks.com/ Another binders site. My personal fave.
http://www.ftmguide.org/ Useful FTM-centered site that explains the processes of hormones/surgery well
http://www.reddit.com/help/faqs/transspace Trans* FAQ for a trans* subreddit I created and moderate.
http://www.reddit.com/r/Transphobia.....ics_resources/ Much more in depth look at trans* issues, origins, terms, resources, etc.
What is Trans?
To understand what Trans means you need to adjust your perspective on a few things that many of us are raised to believe are binary. Things like Orientation, Gender, and of course, Sex.
>But wait, aren't gender and sex the same thing?<
NO.
Gender is someone's perspective of themselves in their mind. This means masculinity and femininity. This varies even with cisgendered people (non-trans persons) from time to time. Some men are more feminine than others, some women more masculine. It happens!
Sex means the parts down there you're born with. If you have a Y chromosome you're male. Ergo, XX is female.
These are not the same thing at all and sometimes.... Our gender doesn't match our sex.
But please remember that these three things I've mentioned,
*Sex
*Gender
*Sexual Orientation
are not binary things. There is no Male - Female divide. All of them are a spectrum between two extremes and a general middle option. You can fit anywhere on the scale and you're perfectly normal! Here are the three spectrums I've mentioned:
Sex:
Male---Intersex---Female
Gender:
Masculine---Androgynous---Feminine
Sexual Orientation: (there are a lot of other orientations too, but these are the biggies)
Homosexual----Bisexual---HeterosexualSo what's the issue with us trans* folk? As said, our Sex doesn't match our gender. In fact, it matches so badly we often experience severe discomfort, self-esteem problems and sometimes extreme emotional instability from our body which is called dysphoria. Trust me when I tell you that this dysphoria is nothing to be laughed at and is serious. Imagine being stuck in a complete stranger's body and being told to live like them when you feel the most out of place you could be.
For this reason, most trans*people seek to change their bodies, or sex, to match their mental gender. There are some ways that this can be done.
Both FTM(female-to-male) and MTF (male-to-female) transgenders usually approach their physical transition with hormonal therapy. Of course, before physical therapy can begin many transgenders cross-dress and/or change their names.
1. Hormone therapy usually includes monthly injections or pills of particular hormones, namely Testosterone (for FTMs) and Estrogen (for MTFs). These provoke voice change, body hair growth or reduction, muscle/fat growth and some genital changes.
2. After Hormone therapy the next step is commonly 'Top Surgery'. For FTMs this includes the reduction of the breasts and in MTFs includes the addition of implants to the breasts.
3. The next step is 'Bottom Surgery', which speaks for itself. This is the 'sex change' surgery which removes or adds the genitalia needed. These surgeries are quite complex but are still not 100% foolproof. However, these surgeries do result in mostly-functional genitalia. They can be used for intercourse. However, they cannot be used for reproductive purposes.
So, in a nutshell, trans*people are people who do not identify with the bodily sex they were born with and, in some cases, seek to change portions, if not all of it.
Who is Trans?
For this section I'd like to say that everyone's story is different. I'm just going to share mine to make it a little more clear who we are.
I was born a girl. I have very little memory before I turned seven but I've been told that I was a typical kid. Occasionally, as some backwards way of supporting me, my mum will say that she always knew I was a little bit different. I disliked skirts, dresses, barbies, and anything pink. However, I also disliked being outside, playing sports or anything loud and little-boy oriented. My favorite things were animals, legos and books. Though mostly solitary, when I played group games I often took male roles. I was pretty geared toward androgyny, and grateful to be born into a pretty open-minded family. When I asked to cut my hair short in 6th grade no one even batted an eye.
But puberty changed some things. I discovered the choice of gender, as I'd never known there was a choice. Suddenly, particularly influenced by the internet, I could choose my gender and my identity. I could choose whether to cut my hair short or not. I could create a whole new persona and, particularly on the internet, it was believable.
This was when I created my identity as 'Shade'. That was back when I first joined Deviantart and when my life was overtaken by Gaiaonline. I figured at the time... hey. If you say you're a girl no one takes you seriously or they want you to talk like a girl. I wasn't interested in being a girl... so I easily took on a male role. It was around this time that I met my best friend, misericorde. He was a blessing to me and we've supported each other throughout our personal journeys over the years.
Over time my persona shifted and I took on the name Salem. Upon changing schools in Highschool (at around age 15) I took on this name exclusively to replace my birth name. This was when I met poshfox online...~ My new highschool, friends and growing relationship were all pleasant turns from bad happenings and I felt more comfortable with myself. Of course, I still took a male persona, and it took a good amount of courage to reveal to my boyfriend, best friend and several other people I knew exclusively online that I wasn't actually male.
The two people that mattered most to me loved me regardless and I'm forever grateful for that...~ Other's, unfortunately, did not take so kindly to my confession.
I began to wonder who I was... what I was. Was I a girl who just liked gay men and hated her body? I didn't want to change it but I felt wrong looking in a mirror. Time passed and I researched more about transgender and what it meant... and one day it all clicked to me. I am not exclusively male but I am exclusively NOT female.
If you remember the spectrums mentioned before, I am andrognyous. I am also Pansexual.
I am trans* regardless. I'm more comfortable as a male than I am in any other body. Binding my chest makes me comfortable. Wearing a packer makes me confident. I am still me in brain, but the body has been adjusted to fit it.
And there is no requirement that I have to do hormones or surgery in order to be considered male.
We, as a community, are not a one-size-fits-all solution.
Every trans* has their own story and every trans* should be listened to with an open mind.
So, please, share your story and remain strong if you are trans*.
And if you are not trans but encounter one, please remember to be courteous and follow these basic rules:
*Refer to them as the pronoun/gender they ask you to. If you're not sure, ask. Most people don't mind answering.
*Never ask for a trans* person's birth name. That's extremely rude. If they trust you they might tell you.
*Never, under any circumstances, say it's 'just a phase' or insult someone's journey. We are discovering and improving ourselves under difficult pressures. No one just 'chooses' to be trans.
If you've made it this far, thank you~ I know this was particularly long... But it needed to be written.
Here are some helpful links I have found that might help. Unfortunately I'm FTM so I don't have many MTF oriented sites. If you have some to add comment with the link~
LINKS
http://trans411.net/
http://www.t-kingdom.com/shopping/e....._english.shtml BINDERS for FTMS
http://www.toolshedtoys.com/results.....?secondary=124 mostly FTM packers/harnesses but some interesting books too
http://www.underworks.com/ Another binders site. My personal fave.
http://www.ftmguide.org/ Useful FTM-centered site that explains the processes of hormones/surgery well
http://www.reddit.com/help/faqs/transspace Trans* FAQ for a trans* subreddit I created and moderate.
http://www.reddit.com/r/Transphobia.....ics_resources/ Much more in depth look at trans* issues, origins, terms, resources, etc.
brb reading
I like the vessel explanation better, it's neutral. You can make it a prison if you're not willing to accept who you are, though..
And especially today we're getting less and less reason to call it a prison, some people don't realize how lucky we are to be able to get the surgery in the first place, even if it's not a complete substitution, we might even get to a full substitution within one's lifespan with where science is heading right now.
But in the end, you're decide for most part what you look like, though personally, as cliché as it sounds, I mostly look at someone's personality rather than what he looks like, and there's a lot of beautiful people out there :3 (*crosses fingers for that BB code to work :v)
But more than changing your appearance, you can simply accept yourself, your mind is the most flexible part of your entire body, if you identify yourself more with a female body than a male body while you're in a male body (or vica versa), then just simply act female or male (though I personally don't really make a difference between them), Just do what lies close with you, your appearance won't change that.
1) Trans* is an adjective, not a noun or a verb. Transgenders is thus incorrect. Transgendered is also incorrect.
2) There should be a space between trans* and people. Combining makes it that trans* people are some separate category as opposed to people who happen to be trans*.
3) Sex is a lot more complicated than chromosomes. A lot of people will have issues with you describing male as XY and female as XX in regards to sex. Even biologists recognize that sex is much more complicated since someone's sex is part genitals, hormones, chromosomes, etc. The general way to describe a person of trans* history is through assigned birth genders. FtM people are general Female Assigned At Birth (FAAB) and MtF people are general Male Assigned At Birth (MAAB). You will occasionally see CMAB or CFAB which is Coerced Male/Female At Birth.
4) Most trans women do not take injections of estrogen. Estrogen is generally provided vial oral pills.
MORE INFORMATION SHIT:
http://www.reddit.com/help/faqs/transspace Trans* FAQ for a trans* subreddit I created and moderate.
http://www.reddit.com/r/Transphobia.....ics_resources/ Much more in depth look at trans* issues, origins, terms, resources, etc.
Please excuse any typos and all. I'm slightly tipsy and thus, typing ability blows sometimes. If you have any questions, IM me, PM me, etc.
But yeah, I'm not what you'd call a socially sensitive person, and I honestly can't say I'd want to date a transgirl or something, but I think simply acknowledging that trans people exist and treating it like it's a perfectly normal thing is important for society to mature as a whole.
Not keeping my hopes up though. :/
Skittle says thought that " Trans* is an adjective, not a noun or a verb."
He's much more knowledgeable ~ Might want to ask him. c:
With the trans community being small/fragmented, there's been a lot of similar terms (genderqueer, genderfluid, neutrois, etc) developing.
It's kind of like using GSM (gender and sexual minorities) as opposed to LGBT. It's much more inclusive of all the variations!
Thank you from the bottom of my heart, I am in tears i am so happy right now.
Thank you <3
As misericorde said above, the body is only a vessel. However, making ourselves comfortable and happy in it is important for our experience on earth~
Everyone deserves to exist happily. c:
It is good to be reassured at times when i feel like i am going mad, and fearful of what people with think. It is good to have people like you in this world you make this place so much better . <3
Indeed.
but that doesn't matter to me x3 i'm happy with myself, comfortable with myself and my body, and i still don't mind cross-dressing if i can pull it off :D
^ I had to, because I love her, and I love all my gay, straight, bi, and transgendered siblings.
It's a definite power-up song when I feel blue. c:
- C.S. Lewis
I must say it's odd that your own family doesn't know something like that. :o
But I can understand the fear of explaining that to other people...
But being intersex is something you really cannot help. (neither is being trans or bi) but people seem to understand that intersex isn't a choice no matter how you look at it.
If they can't understand that then there's something wrong.
What does it matter? Why do you care so much? How can you hate them for being different?
I 'unno. Maybe I'm too liberal for my own good?
My wife's girlfriend is trans. (yeah, I know how weird that sounds)
I'm so happy that you are comfortable being openly trans in the furry community, and it's noble of you to be instrumental in helping educate people :)
It's just another way of living life~ c:
One of my trans friends wrote that it was very awkward having people call her brave for transitioning when the transitioning process was really the solution to the agony of living as the wrong gender.
And for what it's worth, I've frequently found transguys to be rather hot :)
I'll answer most questions because that's how people learn! Asking questions is a good thing~
FTMs are usually called 'transmen' or a 'transman'
the more you know c:
It's all about becoming comfortable within your body. However someone finds comfort is just their personal journey~
And it might sound weird, but I agree with Kailys. Transmen seem to be more attractive than most..
Actually, I have a question: I've seen the word "Cuntboy" around, and I was wondering whether or not it's offensive. Especially as it's used quite often in the furry fandom...
That depends entirely on who hears it. Because many transmen don't want to be associated with their pre-op genitalia, the word 'cuntboy' used to refer to ftms is a bit rude.
It's sort of like saying 'Dickgirl' around a MTF. Because they're trying to change their genitalia, it's rude to be associated with a word that has it in it.
But, as said, it depends on who hears it. I have no problem with the word because it is so commonly used. But I know that if you -called- a ftm 'cboy' they'd probably punch you.
I have noticed that 'cuntboy' is used, often, by people who like to throw around the word 'tranny,' or otherwise, folks who fetishize or sexualize trans* folk, whether they be transgendered or transsexual. When used to refer to trans* people, it can be incredibly offensive and very hurtful. However, many try to take the words back to empower themselves (like homosexual folk using 'faggot'). But many, if not most, will be very hurt if you use offensive terminology. The absolute best thing you can ever do is just ask, like what you did here! They will appreciate that you are trying to be sensitive to their feelings.
In a nutshell: those terms are more porny than they are used to refer to a person on a day to day basis. You could think of it similar (but certainly not equal) to referring to women as MILFs or 'dem hot bitches,' and generally just using terms that are very sexual in nature (whether or not the term is actually degrading).
Being a trans* person is incredibly personal - each every one of us are individuals and have our own ideas on what is and what isn't okay, among so many other aspects. Just be respectful, and before you misstep, ask. It is possible your question could be a bit upsetting, depending on who you ask, but I would find it is better to be a little bit upsetting while making sure your footing is sound than to upset them immensely by using offensive language!
I was thinking of it mostly as a porny word. I would never call someone who is FtM a "Cuntboy". Ever ._.
*hugs* you're awesome no matter what to me X3
AGAIN THANKS FOR THIS JOURNAL. IT IS VERY INFORMATIVE.
And from what I know about intersex people, they often like to keep it to themselves, close family and close friends. Same with many transpeople. We're not all open like I am, and that's perfectly fine~
The last thing most transmen and women want is to be identified as simply 'trans' when they want to be considered male/female. Y'see? c:
So, thank you.
Just remain strong. It's a long process learning to love yourself, but it's not impossible~ Things get better. c:
Btw. I never knew whether the person preferred to be a she or he, because Finnish language doesn't have gendered pronouns. But genderless pronouns can also be a hindrance when translating English literature which is often full of "he said, she said" sentences.
Sometimes I think the world would be better without them. Sometimes I catch people saying 'they/them' as a nongendered pronoun, but it's plural so it causes confusion.
If it makes you more comfortable try drawing out the spectrums shown and mark where you fall on them~
When I found out in 10th grade that sex is what you're born with and gender is what you are inside... It really made me think a LOT.
I don't think I understood fully right away, but it kind of felt like some of the weight was lifted off my chest.
When I more recently figured out that I was androgynous, if anything leaning towards male, I thought to myself that it might be a phase, but I don't think so any more. It took my own boyfriend to point it out to me, I think I might be transgender too. Like you, i don't think I will change my body, but certain things will make me more comfortable. I'm blessed to be very masculin looking already, and I have very small breasts so it's very easy for me, which makes me happy! (I'm always confused on what to do when it comes to swimsuits though, what do you do?)
Anyways yes, thank you for this <33
For swimming I wear a lycra tank-top that's usually intended for cyclists and whatnot.
I found mine at walmart, relatively cheap. c: If you have a small chest you might not need to bind but you can wear a binder underneath it as long as it's loose enough to let you breathe. Exercising with a binder on is a bit of a risk.
I have never had to wear a binder, sports bras do the trick just fine for me c:
or was... thing... penis :3
I'm not a girl.
that's the point.
m-misses... I mean... ah D:
I'm male.
Call me he/him or by my name. Mister, sir, whatever.
Don't call me miss, she/her or ma'am. Thank you.
neutrois/androgynous person here <3
Though I've never been one to judge (each to their own, whatever makes you happy, as long as your're not hurting yourself or others) I've never really looked into it. I'll admit, I've been preoccupied with my own... things XD
Though one thing that does worry me;
I have a few people I know that are trans, physical females who feel they are male. And though I know its not a 'phase' I am concerned because one of them is undergoing hormone treatment. He (she) is only in his early twenties so his perspective could change on what exactly he feels himself to be. Same with the other person. It worries me that people may feel pressured to decide quickly what they are and jump to medically changing themselves.
But what also confused me is the other trans person dated a straight male. So if she identifies as a he but dates a straight guy.... what does that mean?
I know everyone's stories are different, but I can't help but worry about people who may feel pressured to physically change their body. There's a lot going on inside our heads between the ages of 12 and 25... what happens if they find out that it's not right for them? But it's too late or its too hard to go back?
And these people are all caught up with rather extreme pro-anythingbutheterosexual crowds. I can't help but worry that they might be suffering from peer pressure. I'm not close enough to either individual to talk to them about it... but I still can't help but worry.
I know how horrible my own issues have been about myself. When I was a child I was the same; didnt like dresses or pink or dolls. Even now, when I'm around other girls I feel like I have to take the male role, be the alpha for them, protect them. I'm a bisexual female, if I had to put a label on it. With guys I'm submissive but with girls I'm dominant and feel masculine with them.
I don't understand it myself. But even this little hint of confusion in myself... I can't imagine what trans people go through.
Sorry if that was a bit of brain vomit. It was a lot to take in :)
I'm really glad you wrote this journal. I never like to ask about such things despite being quite open to talk about myself XD
Yes, some people do rush into hormone treatment and surgery wantonly. That's why it's mandatory (at least in the US. can't speak for other places...) for people to go through a three-month evaluation by a trained therapist. It's only if the therapist thinks they're doing it for the right reasons that they get a letter of permission to start treatment.
Some trans people really dislike this therapy process but I think it's necessary... particularly with earlier ages. The most unhappy people I can think of are those that go through an irreversible procedure and end up changing perspectives.
As far as a transman dating a straight man goes... It really doesn't matter what their label is as long as they're happy.
I'm a transman dating a gay man but I still have all the working parts of a female. Does this make him straight? Not really. He just fits a little more toward bisexual on the sexuality scale.
Besides, it's more important to love someone for who they are and let the bodies just do their thing than to focus exclusively on sex. Sex is transient. Its importance waxes and wanes as we age. Sex is superficial, really. c: Personality is much more deep-rooted and important~
I'm not sure what the process is here (Australia) but I hope it's the same. Though from the way mentally ill youths are thrown onto medication, I can't be sure :/
I support it, some people go through their teen years thinking they're straight and find out they're gay or bi, or then other way around. It doesn't mean it was a phase, just that they were still trying to find out who they are :)
I know it doesn't really matter, I feel the same way sometimes. Gender doesn't come into my head as far as it being an important role in who I choose though I do recognise the differences and am attracted to the bodies of both.
Hmm, that is interesting :) But again, I don't think it matters. I think I have to stop trying to understand what it means and just be content with what it is. As long as both people are happy, who cares? It was just an issue that came up in my social group... at first I didn't care but everyone talking about it got me thinking. I figured that if I could give them a reason or an answer they'd just leave it be and stop being so judgemental.
I agree there. I can't imagine being restricted to loving one sex or gender... I've found amazing people of all genders, sexes and orientations. And that's what matters :3
Is it wrong for me to be upset at someone who wants to have a sex change simply because they’re not getting laid, or in another case- want hormones just because they think they’re ugly and claiming to be a transsexual to get them?
For example:
PCOS is a condition that is caused by too much testosterone being produced in a woman's body. The only treatment is estrogen/progesterone administration. While there are some physical problems associated with PCOS such as higher risk for diabetes, most of the effects are benign and include excess body hair or weight gain. You have to admit, if you had a disorder that made you less attractive you'd want to treat it too, right?
Honestly... if someone feels like hormones will help their body image and are willing to pay for it without insurance and a doctor approves of it... it's their right.
For me myself, I'm...well, I'm still working on that, I guess. I grew up in a very small central Wisconsin town (technically classified a village still), with a very right-leaning Christian family. While my folks might try to claim otherwise, I was rather sheltered at home, so I fit into their mold rather well, thinking and acting the way I was expected to as a boy, for the most part. (Though, if my crappy memory actually recalls correctly, I do remember at least one short instance of playing along with a couple cousins and their Barbie dolls (and having fun), and also, I'm pretty sure that among all the toys I had stowed away in the small toy chest at my grandma's house, I actually had an old MLP toy. ANYway..) I had only seriously started putting cracks in that mold when I was in high school. It took me moving to the bottom of the state for college to really begin breaking out of that slowly and start finding my own identity. The first major crossroad in my life at that point was coming to terms with homosexuality, MY homosexuality. Having come from a sheltered conservative Christian environment, you can imagine I wrestled with these thoughts quite a bit, though in the end, I embraced it, came out of the closet to myself, and have been all the happier for it. From there, I've been continuing to evolve more into my own person. More recently now (and more relevant to the topic), I've been wresting with new thoughts on being a girl. I mean, I've had a few errant thoughts here and there in the past, but over time, especially now, all these thoughts have become more and more prevalent. Sometimes, some thoughts have weighed on me so much that I've wished I was born in a different body.. I've even thought about the procedure to change my current body. It gets confusing for me sometimes though too, because up until these thoughts grew into the forefront of my mind, I felt that I had become fairly content who and what I was (aside from the fact that even then and now, I do kinda hate some things about my body as is). It's quite a challenge, I feel, but I'm glad I've got a loving boyfriend who's supportive of me one way or the other. I still probably got a ways before I get my thoughts and such completely sorted, and I would like to talk to some more people about it, but hopefully in the long run, as with my last major crossroad, I can come out stronger and happier in the end.
Don't worry~ Our perspectives on ourselves change as fluidly as our perspectives on other things tend to. Over the years your ideas might change~ c: That's the only reason I tend to preach to people to wait and see when it comes to transitioning.
There is also a subtle art of learning to be comfortable with yourself. We all wish our bodies were different in some way at some point in our lives. But those thoughts are usually fleeting. -w-
I know a guy I know who constantly hooked up with sleazy men– one who huffed aerosol and another who was dating 3 other people at once. When he got tired of the Bs he would break up with them, and then blames himself and claim it’s because he’s not a girl even though his ‘gender’ (…not the same definition you’re using) was never the issue in the relationships.
Trying to explain to him it was the people he’s dating, not him, was impossible and trying to explain this to others in this same predicament has also been impossible.
what would you say to people who base such a life changing choice on their relationship history?
After all, the most miserable people tend to be those that go through surgery for the wrong reason and find it's irreversible.
My father kinda notice me that i have some homosexuality and i have a little femininity. But i still have no ability to love someone, so my gender is still unknown. heck, my father falls in love someone when he's 17 and I'm still 18.
Next month I'll be 19, i wonder if it will make a difference after that day.... probably not...
perhaps it's my dream I'm not following, but it's one of my main reasons I'm so depressed, it might turn me into something that most close-minded people would against it.
God life is scary...
anyway i'm not heavily depressed, but i'm just sad i have no real identity.
And my father has no time for a therapist, too busy with the garden and his work
Thank you for your post. Maybe, some day soon, I'll find the courage to express this to my father. For now, I'm content in only my mother knowing and accepting, though still not quite understanding. <3 Thank you for solidifying the idea that I don't need to take hormones or have surgery to be male, and thank you for explaining this to the people who are, otherwise, confused or unsure on the topic.
Trust me, you're never alone. Just remember that the most important thing is just being content and comfortable with yourself~
Also kind of brings to mind the "genderbread person" that my sociology professor showed me one day. It just helps pit things into perspective for some people I think. http://freethoughtblogs.com/tokensk.....ad-Person.jpeg
http://theroyalus.deviantart.com/ar.....um-2-193406208
A little more comprehensive, though not as cutesy. :3
It's just something I try keep myself to as much as possible, trying to be as unbiased as possible towards gender, nationality and so forth.
Initially only outwards towards other people, but I also ended up doing the same towards myself, aside from the biologically implicated differences, I don't really care much if my body would've been male or female, there's just no differences for me.
Does that make me asexual..?
Asexual is basically not having any sexual drive or wish to engage in sexual acts with anyone.
Honestly, I'd just call you socially evolved. ;D
Thanks I guess ;D Though it's weird, I've been scolded for it a lot, some people just want to be treated differently, it's weird, because people want to be treated equally so much they start yelling they get untreated unfairly quicker, and you get a weird kind of reverse discrimination.
I think a better word for it would be pansexual, though I do look at what someone looks like, I just don't make a difference between male and female xD
I go on and on about how I love your artwork, but I never really knew anything about you.
You are such a strong, wonderful individual.
I read a couple books on the subject because, in fact, I thought I was transgendered, before I discovered I was bisexual.
As a boy, I never really liked sports, cars or things like that. I always preferred hanging out with the girls, playing with dolls and even loved to paint my friend's nails.
But I always looked at girls the way I did guys.
I thought, "Am I a girl? Am I supposed to be a girl?" whenever I thought a boy was attractive, but then I saw myself looking at a girl the same way.
It confused me to no end, but then I, like you, discovered myself through internet sites.
I just think you're unbelievably brave to go through what you have.
I admire people like you. People who are unafraid to be who they know they truly are. To challenge the dichotomy of gender roles and gender stereotypes.
Sirrah, I can safely say that you are the only transgendered person I've actually had the pleasure of knowing (a little), and I am honoured to know someone as courageous as you.
Not to say that transgendered people are the only ones in the LGBT community that face hardships, but I think your lot is probably hardest.
*hug*
I'm glad to be the one to set an example of other transgenders and be able to represent them in a positive light for you...~
(awkward sentence structure, sorry. I'm still sleepy. XD)
I am more than glad too. :)
This.
When it comes to public restrooms, what do you do?
If you consider yourself male, it wouldn't make sense to use the women's bathroom, but your body is still technically female so...
Just wondering what you do! I personally tend to avoid using public restrooms as often as I can, but I still use the woman's when I have to. I've never been in the men's bathroom before and I feel like it would be awkward for me. I wish there was a seperate bathroom for people like us cus I feel like I don't belong in either of them!
Also, on a seperate note, what do you look like? I've only seen pictures of one other ftm before and he was so convincingly male I was almost jealous! If you don't want to share I understand completely, but I am curious! :3
Here is a slightly decent picture of me if you're interested x3 http://www.furaffinity.net/view/6916130/
I've only gone in the men's room a couple of times but I try to avoid needing to go to a public bathroom at all.
In places that I go often like my school campus I remember where on campus there are handicapped rooms. >W<
Also, this is my most recent pic from a few months ago. http://i45.tinypic.com/2iw10eo.jpg I look like a huge dork. XD and I wasn't trying to pass that day at all.
D'aww, so cute. c:
Thank you so much for everything!
And I'm glad to hear that the important people, who really mattered to you, stuck by you when you came out. That's... big.
I salute you! <3~
I always figured, I'm not going to lie. I've got a few trans friends online (non in real life) and all have actually gone and hanged their sex, but I always got that vibe from you.
I love this, this is the best journal I've ever read. I wish everyone could read this to see you don't need to change your body to be who you want to be <3
Someone suggested I write a book on it but I'm not that well-read on things like procedures and stuff....