So I just got off the phone with my mom...

It was horrible..... I hate how with her, she always tries to out-manipulate me emotionally....



I just found out that in December, my funds get cut off for my amenities, and things like my MEDICAL MARIJUANA WHICH HAS IMPROVED MY LIFE AND OUTLOOK AND SUCCESS BY ABOUT 50%.... and when my lease is up, I need to leave the apartment....



I found this out asking for a little more money because my dad gave me less than normal, even for 5 days, and I am almost out of food, and out of nicotine, which I'm addicted to soooooo.... Working on it though. :(



All of these things I'm working on, but my mom is always so negative and pessimistic about them, but then she believes in like...My artwork, or my singing...

I just feel like I suck at everything, and every time I try to get a job, or be part of a group, or something, it's never good enough, and I fail horribly.....



I don't know what to do- I'm sitting here, bawling my eyes out, because I'm going to have to live on ramen for the next couple of days, and spend all my money next week on deodorant, tampons, paper towels, and other things, and then have to eat ramen all week next week, and if I can't find a job, which seems hopeless, I'm going to have to leave the one place I feel safe in, and where my best friends/the only people I can trust are...

I might as well kill myself if that happens. Without the city to distract me, and no one to trust, and not being able to see the people I hold most dear, aside from my family, who tends to do their own thing and ignore me.... I would be nothing....


I'd rather take care of this on my own, so I'm begging you-pleading with you.... Any little bit helps, and I'm willing to do art for it. I'm willing to pour my heart and soul and blood onto paper for you, and you could help save me and help me take my life back/find a job, but at my own pace.... I'm trying- I really, really am...But I have a lot of problems I need to work on... The biggest one being how I let people and my interpersonal relationships with people drag me down/get me riled up....



My prices for art are not expensive- 10$ for a sketch, 15$ for flat colors, 20$ for shading and a small background- as many characters as you want, digital or traditional...



Please.....

I'm so desperate here....

and I know people are probably enjoying reading this because they think I deserve it, but I personally know that this isn't karma- it's been a long time coming, but my parents have a bad habit of springing things on me at the last minute....


Edit: I bet this makes me come off like a spoilt brat, but listen.... I'm used to being somewhat comfortable, and I've never really had to live my life being dirt poor, except at conventions... But I have nothing to distract me here and even then, usually my friends would hook me up with food or other.... I'm weak. I'm fragile. I suffer from chronic pain, and I don't know how to care for myself, but I'm really trying to fix that......