My Big Little filly Pinkie Pie
13 years ago
now entering my mind
enjoy your stay
enjoy your stay
i saw this picture, and i read in the comments "someone make a fanfic of this" so here it is.
picture: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/8918391/
artist:
fillyscoots42
one amazing editor:
gamestreamer
this has been edited, have fun
Pinkie Pie had just finished up her daily cleaning of the bakery when Mr. and Mrs. Cake called to her.
"Pinkie, we will be out for a little while. Can you watch the twins for a bit?"
"Okie dokie Mrs. Cake," she replied as a she dashed off, grabbed the twins, and set their butts down on the changing table. She reached down to grab a diaper, but there were none there.
"Hey Ms. Cake, where are all the diapers?"
She came into the room, "sorry dearie, we ran out. The new ones are on the table."
Pinkie ran downstairs and sees that the new diapers are pink; she giggles and grabs two, then goes back to the twins. She removes the two smelly items in question and unfolds the new pink diapers. While sliding them under the twins she realized something.
"Hey Ms. Cake, you bought the wrong sized diapers!" Pinkie pointed out, and she showed the blue pony that the diapers were several sizes too big on the twins.
"Well that’s one more stop for us, put them in those for right now. We will get more while we’re out. Oh and Pinkie? We got a gift for the twins for their birthday coming up; please don’t spoil it for them."
Pinkie Pie saluted the cook "I wont, I pinkie promise."
The blue pony smiled a bit, "thanks Pinkie," and she left to shop for supplies.
The pink pony taped the huge looking diapers on the two fillies and set them free. They started playing. Pinkie had fun taking care of the twins until it came time for them to go to bed.
"Okay little ones, it’s time to go to bed," and with the help of a rubber chicken, a cage, and some masking tape, she got the twins off to sleep. She sighed, and smiled a little.
"Wonder what it’s like to be carefree for a day" she told herself as she collapses on the floor in exhaustion. When she hit the floor, one of the large pink diapers falls off the changing table, and lands with a crinkle on top of pinkies midsection. She looked at it, and then picked it up slowly. She examines it, and makes an observation.
"That’s a larger diaper than I realized, I bet it would fit me just fine," she jerked her head up quickly. "Why would I think that? These are just for fillies and foals.”
‘I bet its soft’ said the voice in her head ‘shut up’ she told it.‘I bet it’s snug, too, and it will be so comfortable’
‘Well it does look comfy’
‘Try it,’ the voice persuaded her.
"Oh, okay then" she said as she unfolded the diaper on the changing mat. She sat on top of it, quietly taping the crinkly thing to her waist. Getting up, she started walking around the nursery. Her waist bulged a bit form the thickness, and had to waddle slightly on her hind legs. The more she moved, the more comfortable the diaper felt. She smiled brightly and went to go check on the twins to make sure they had not woken up from the experience she was having. As she walked over to the crib her hoof hit something, and skidded across the floor. She froze, and made sure that the twins had not woken up. With a small sigh of relief, she saw the twins were still fast asleep. She bent down, and picked up the object in question; it was two pink pacifiers tied together by a pink ribbon, with a note attached to the ribbon.
Happy First Birthday Pumpkin and Pound Cake
We Love You Both So Much,
-Mommy and Daddy
She flipped the pacifier over, and saw that it had a picture of her cutie mark on the front of it. She was looking over it when her voice came back.
‘Why don’t you try it on?’
‘No, it’s for the twin’s birthday.’
‘A filly’s birthday?’
‘Yes.’
‘And isn’t your birthday coming up soon?’
‘But I’m not a filly.’
‘Tell that to the diaper around your waist.’Her breath caught in her throat for a moment. She blushed a deep red.
‘I-I-I’
‘admit it; you want to try it’
‘I do, but I’m not sur-‘
‘try it.’She felt her hoof rising, then the nipple enter her mouth. She started sucking. Pinkie flushed an even deeper shade of red, continued sucking, and found that she felt calmer with the pacifier in her mouth. She raised her head, and saw the lowered side of one of the cribs. Since the twins normally slept in the same crib, the crib for guest foals was empty. She slowly walked over to the crib and looked into it. It had a large pillow, and cute designs on the head board. She slowly climbed in, no longer needing the pressure from her voice, and slid into the crib, and found it roomier than she realized. She set her head on the pillow, and relaxed, thinking only of the pacifier in her mouth and the padding on her rump. Before she even realized it she was soundly asleep.
The Cakes returned a while later, groceries in tow. Mrs. Cake routinely went upstairs to check on the twins. When she got there, she was greeted by a cute and odd surprise; the twins fast asleep in one crib and Pinkie just the same in the other. The pink pony was clad in one of the oversized pink diaper they had bought. Admittedly she was surprised to see the pink pony asleep in one of the cribs with the new pinkie pacifier they had made for the twins as a present. She quietly removed the pacifier from her mouth, and slowly walked away. As she was about to leave the room, she heard moaning coming from pinkies crib. She turned around, and saw pinkie squirming, and looking like she was going to cry. Not wanting to wake the twins up she quickly walked over, and slid the pacifier back in the pony’s mouth. She started to quiet down, and want back to sleep. Mrs. Cake looked down at the sleeping pony, and she remembered the stories she told them about how she grew up on a rock farm, and had little foalhood to speak of. Ms. Cake smiled, raised the side of the crib and quietly let it click in place, then started out of the room. When she was at the doorway she turned around, and looked at the three sleeping figures in the room "Good night my little fillies," she quietly said and closed the door.
how did you like it? was it any good? what do i need to fix? edit? comments? ect
tell me down below, my first fanfic in a while, that felt good to write.
see you all soon
-flynn out
picture: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/8918391/
artist:

one amazing editor:

this has been edited, have fun
Pinkie Pie had just finished up her daily cleaning of the bakery when Mr. and Mrs. Cake called to her.
"Pinkie, we will be out for a little while. Can you watch the twins for a bit?"
"Okie dokie Mrs. Cake," she replied as a she dashed off, grabbed the twins, and set their butts down on the changing table. She reached down to grab a diaper, but there were none there.
"Hey Ms. Cake, where are all the diapers?"
She came into the room, "sorry dearie, we ran out. The new ones are on the table."
Pinkie ran downstairs and sees that the new diapers are pink; she giggles and grabs two, then goes back to the twins. She removes the two smelly items in question and unfolds the new pink diapers. While sliding them under the twins she realized something.
"Hey Ms. Cake, you bought the wrong sized diapers!" Pinkie pointed out, and she showed the blue pony that the diapers were several sizes too big on the twins.
"Well that’s one more stop for us, put them in those for right now. We will get more while we’re out. Oh and Pinkie? We got a gift for the twins for their birthday coming up; please don’t spoil it for them."
Pinkie Pie saluted the cook "I wont, I pinkie promise."
The blue pony smiled a bit, "thanks Pinkie," and she left to shop for supplies.
The pink pony taped the huge looking diapers on the two fillies and set them free. They started playing. Pinkie had fun taking care of the twins until it came time for them to go to bed.
"Okay little ones, it’s time to go to bed," and with the help of a rubber chicken, a cage, and some masking tape, she got the twins off to sleep. She sighed, and smiled a little.
"Wonder what it’s like to be carefree for a day" she told herself as she collapses on the floor in exhaustion. When she hit the floor, one of the large pink diapers falls off the changing table, and lands with a crinkle on top of pinkies midsection. She looked at it, and then picked it up slowly. She examines it, and makes an observation.
"That’s a larger diaper than I realized, I bet it would fit me just fine," she jerked her head up quickly. "Why would I think that? These are just for fillies and foals.”
‘I bet its soft’ said the voice in her head ‘shut up’ she told it.‘I bet it’s snug, too, and it will be so comfortable’
‘Well it does look comfy’
‘Try it,’ the voice persuaded her.
"Oh, okay then" she said as she unfolded the diaper on the changing mat. She sat on top of it, quietly taping the crinkly thing to her waist. Getting up, she started walking around the nursery. Her waist bulged a bit form the thickness, and had to waddle slightly on her hind legs. The more she moved, the more comfortable the diaper felt. She smiled brightly and went to go check on the twins to make sure they had not woken up from the experience she was having. As she walked over to the crib her hoof hit something, and skidded across the floor. She froze, and made sure that the twins had not woken up. With a small sigh of relief, she saw the twins were still fast asleep. She bent down, and picked up the object in question; it was two pink pacifiers tied together by a pink ribbon, with a note attached to the ribbon.
Happy First Birthday Pumpkin and Pound Cake
We Love You Both So Much,
-Mommy and Daddy
She flipped the pacifier over, and saw that it had a picture of her cutie mark on the front of it. She was looking over it when her voice came back.
‘Why don’t you try it on?’
‘No, it’s for the twin’s birthday.’
‘A filly’s birthday?’
‘Yes.’
‘And isn’t your birthday coming up soon?’
‘But I’m not a filly.’
‘Tell that to the diaper around your waist.’Her breath caught in her throat for a moment. She blushed a deep red.
‘I-I-I’
‘admit it; you want to try it’
‘I do, but I’m not sur-‘
‘try it.’She felt her hoof rising, then the nipple enter her mouth. She started sucking. Pinkie flushed an even deeper shade of red, continued sucking, and found that she felt calmer with the pacifier in her mouth. She raised her head, and saw the lowered side of one of the cribs. Since the twins normally slept in the same crib, the crib for guest foals was empty. She slowly walked over to the crib and looked into it. It had a large pillow, and cute designs on the head board. She slowly climbed in, no longer needing the pressure from her voice, and slid into the crib, and found it roomier than she realized. She set her head on the pillow, and relaxed, thinking only of the pacifier in her mouth and the padding on her rump. Before she even realized it she was soundly asleep.
The Cakes returned a while later, groceries in tow. Mrs. Cake routinely went upstairs to check on the twins. When she got there, she was greeted by a cute and odd surprise; the twins fast asleep in one crib and Pinkie just the same in the other. The pink pony was clad in one of the oversized pink diaper they had bought. Admittedly she was surprised to see the pink pony asleep in one of the cribs with the new pinkie pacifier they had made for the twins as a present. She quietly removed the pacifier from her mouth, and slowly walked away. As she was about to leave the room, she heard moaning coming from pinkies crib. She turned around, and saw pinkie squirming, and looking like she was going to cry. Not wanting to wake the twins up she quickly walked over, and slid the pacifier back in the pony’s mouth. She started to quiet down, and want back to sleep. Mrs. Cake looked down at the sleeping pony, and she remembered the stories she told them about how she grew up on a rock farm, and had little foalhood to speak of. Ms. Cake smiled, raised the side of the crib and quietly let it click in place, then started out of the room. When she was at the doorway she turned around, and looked at the three sleeping figures in the room "Good night my little fillies," she quietly said and closed the door.
how did you like it? was it any good? what do i need to fix? edit? comments? ect
tell me down below, my first fanfic in a while, that felt good to write.
see you all soon
-flynn out
Have new paragraphs whenever someone speaks.
Also, your grammar needs some work.
Personally, I think it would be better (and make more sense) if another set of foalhood items were gifted to Pinkie by Mrs. Cake because she heard how Pinkie didn't have a foalhood.
i will edit that soon
i know, i wrote this on my phone, which doesn’t have spell check
sequel?
The bad: grammar and spelling problems including: comma splices, capital letter errors, two characters speaking in one paragraph; some characters said things that sound uncharacteristic; it jumps around a bit.
In conclusion: an editor would do you very well. A few prose and grammar issues take away from what is otherwise a very solid short story; I enjoyed reading this and am looking forward to further work from you.
the good: i didn’t even realize it was passed good
the bad: i have a bad habit of commas, and i don’t have spell check on journals
question: since you pointed this out, do you want to help me edit these?
a +watch never hurt anyone
and if not, i will message you my e-mail by private note, so i don’t get random people e-mailing me