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Lack of respect for straight couples and women in the fandom
13 years ago
There is something that i really want to address. I want you all to sit down and think about this as you read, specifically you males.
I mean this in no way as a way to point out specific people, but this does happen enough that I don't feel guilty in generalizing a stereotypical gay male furry.
I am quite tired of this mentality that women and people who are in straight, CLOSED relationships or any closed relationship is inferior in any way. I see it all the time, people's lack of respect when seeing that someone is in a closed relationship, "that's stupid, you should share. He's too cute to not let me have some."
Not everyone is open to the prospect of being in an open relationship. Some people just want to be left alone.
Take for example my good friends 
and 
, i cant tell you how many time i see people talking about how much they want to screw the males in both of these relationships. And yet all 4 of them make it quite clear that they are in a closed relationship, Bee is with Carrot, and Hutch is with Linx. Yet it persists, almost DAILY. Why is this? Tell me.
In fact, we were blocked from some stupid person's journal, which praised the accepting nature of the fandom, as we all shared our own unpleasant experiences. Apparently this person didn't want to hear that this 'perfect' fandom wasn't so perfect, even though all of our comments were polite and conversation-based, as opposed to the whining they thought we were doing.
It's not just straight couples who get the worst of this problem, as you can tell from the title, but also just women in general. Are we back in the 20's or something? What happened to our gender equality? I know that all you big beefy gay furs who have 7 boyfriends don't want to be anywhere near a vagina, but that doesn't give you a right to treat us like an alien species. It's subtle things that I see, but god DAMN do they piss me off.
I'm a lesbian myself, and active in the GLBTQ community, so this isn't a hate journal about gays. But I do have this complaint- you see gay people all the time, complaining that "oh i can't get married, oh, i can't be accepted in society bc im gay, im so discriminated against."
Look at all I've already said. How is this discrimination you throw upon others any different than that which you whine about.
I thank all my respectful followers, both male and female, gay or straight, whatever. I just thought this needed to be addressed. It's completely ridiculous that this community claims to be so open and friendly, this is NOT the case deep down.
Just some food for thought, POLITE discussion is welcomed below.
Bunnies
However this isn't discrimination against straight furs from just homosexuals/bisexuals, these are just whores that can't keep their willy in their friggan pants and wanna take it from anything and everything.
Sorry, had to get that off my chest too.
I LOVE YOU.
I think you're doin the right thing by pointing it out without being aggressive about it. Kudos for standing up for your ideas and the people you care about!
Think of it this way: the people who do that are usually the sort of people you don't want to talk to, anyway. It's a problem that solves itself! :D
I haven't been treated poor personally about my relationship....but then again, I don't really give two shits what opinions random people on the net have to say. I'm a happy and lucky girl to have such a wonderful and loyal gentleman in my life. I have quality friends-- not quantity.
I do know a few guys that treat ladies like aliens....so funny because every man came out of a vagina too. :B
and everyone else is a fart
If Log's farts don't cut the bitch, I will.
I'm a nut, so please feel free to ignore me if you want. x3
Most (Not all. But a good majority, I'm finding) are long distance and end almost as quickly as they're started, often over trivial things.
In this fandom, the mentality of a relationship soon devolves into "I chat with this person more than others", often only to have erotic RPs or be drawn having sex with said person.
You'll see people in a 'relationship' with five or six people not because they feel any connection with them, but because they find the design of their particular character attractive.
what does this have to do with the straight and female aspect of the post? Absolutely nothing!
I sure do love missing the actual point! :D
Personally I think it's a little silly to take any sort of online interaction seriously unless it starts to have an effect on your life on the outside. I don't have any relationships that aren't "closed," but if I was posting adult art of my partner and I all the time, I would expect that some people would enjoy it and express their attraction to the characters. It's sort of a compliment, again as long as it has nothing to do with your life outside of the characters/art. It's not cool if people start pestering you to actually hook up with them obviously.
but along the lines of mates masters and pets people tend to lose all sense of manogamy
i'm not saying everyone does but some people go overboard
but then again most places have people like than offline and online
Achievement Unlocked: Truthiness.
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I FEEL IT.
You know, go tap yourself in the head with a baseball bat....
WHY IS EVERYONE ALWAYS TRYING TO HIT ON ME?
<< I mean...srsly? It's like the idiots that IM me on Facebook and whip out their *****.
Topic: I normally see the fandom accept everyone, even the ones that call us "furfags"/ simply because we just laugh at them knowing that they dont know a thing about us.. and the hate inside the fandom, thats just the radical closed minded peeps/ But seriously, you dont block somemone for that.
fuck them and fuck everyone else who is like this and let them enjoy their gonaherpasyphilaids
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QG5Xs0s55eU
How so many people will do to try to get the relationship people wishes
Surprising how even if there was a learning lesson show at a young age they still do things
Very good journal entry also
Now mind you i'm bi and a gentleman, would never thank of puting anyone down so thats not what i'm trying to say. i'm just saying society has its views and if you are not apart of it you will be put down.
now so i dont sound so boreing bloop blaop beep bloo
I've had this experience both times whilst at a con type event (the same one just different years) where one time a guy kept trying to back his arse up against my husband during a dance & the other time afterwards a guy hitting on me in private messages after returning home & even though I explained why it would never happen they then proceeded to say hey your hubby can join in.*facepalms*
I don't particularly care about what others do in their relationships, it is their relationship after all but UGH don't get all up in my relationship!
I wonder if there's a closed relationship page that the most of us can go to!
also i cant tell you how happy i am that youre still using the icon i made you :D
I guess people didn't really take "treat people how you want to be treated" to heart as a child or something. Doing so includes respecting boundaries, respecting choices (IE the choice to be in a closed relationship), and just respect overall. I really hope this ceases soon, because honestly it grinds my nerves to know this is going on.
I was actually unaware of this. Maybe I'm just in all the right places or something, because I've rarely seen things like this happening over my 6 years in the fandom.
But I find that more creepy than anything, to be honest. Still, it would be nice not to have that.
And as for the sexism thing, yeah. I know that's everywhere. However, I try to avoid places like that so that I don't adapt to it or gain a tolerance for it.
Still, it bugs me it's going on. I'll keep and eye out.
I bet half of the gay furs probably started out straight and went gay because women wouldn't let them screw them. Like the opposite of the thing where girls go "I'm sick of guys breaking my heart. I'm going to be a lesbian now."
They try to be the nice guy because that's what they learned from society. If you're needy and desperate enough, you get the girl. When that falls through because girls don't really want that, they get frustrated that they got "friend zoned". And then they completely unravel when they see the same girl fall for "the jock". (Anyone with any self esteem is "the jock" and the girl is always "the jock's victim and he doesn't treat her right" which is where the white knight part comes in.)
I could see that over time leading to a disdain for girls. I'm fairly confident making this assumption because I used to be the white knight type. That inner demon still nips at me every once in a while, and when an attempt at a relationship goes bad, it can be tempting for me to assume there's just something wrong with girls in general. But I try to be rational about it and just blame either myself or the individual girl, whoever's fault I think it is.
But when a white knight type gets all angry and starts thinking of a girl as a slut because she went out with "the jock", the real reason he feels that way is because he believes -he- deserved her because -he- treated her "the right way". He believes -he- deserves to be the one to get into her pants rather than "the jock" who "is a jerk". "Who does he think he is?" And then he tells himself "I didn't -only- want her for myself. I wanted to make her happy too."
All of the above, I can understand, because I used to think that way. The cure is to just embrace the idea that it's okay to want something for yourself. Including the girl of your dreams. That leads to a more honest exchange between you and them. It leads to you just openly desiring them rather than playing that cat and mouse game of "can I treat her really nice and get her to fall for me?"
As for the demanding to sleep with someone who is in a relationship, it comes down to a sense of entitlement. The furry fandom is known for being affectionate and open-minded. So what you basically have is the spiritual version of a career welfare recipient. One has the mindset that they're entitled to be supported because they need food and shelter. The other has the mindset that they're entitled to be loved whether they've earned that love or not, because the fandom is supposed to be loving. Or something like that. And the fandom just breeds that attitude with its open-ness. I think I can understand that too because I've felt pangs of it before. There's been a girl I thought was cute, I wanted to hug her, and I did. And then her mate found me later and bitched me out over it, and I brooded over how either he was insecure or she was a two-faced bitch. I hadn't once questioned whether I went too far. She was in a fursuit so I thought that gave me the go ahead to simply hug her.
*chuckles* Self-improvement is a really REALLY long, bumpy road. And you often get turned around and fall back in to your old ways sometimes. But I wouldn't change a thing about my past. It gives me a unique perspective, that I can look back on that and understand it when I see it in others.
Perfectly put, I will credit you when I use that:)
Epic comment is epic!
Acceptance is what built a community where all us freaks who like animal people can get together and create media of any kind. I do agree that it is a positive thing, to allow anyone to like anything they want. It fosters an environment of creativity and imagination, however sexual we want it to be (yay for filter settings on such sites).
But the fandom has become too accepting of behavior. If I came on to a straight man or closed relationship at a family dinner, I'd be kicked out. If I did it at work I'd get taken out by security and probably charged. If I did it at a bar I may be beaten. If I do it at a furry con, I get a high five from fellow 'furfags' and we would all commiserate the relationship while insulting them.
In a community where no interest or sexuality is taboo, people can forget what behavior is taboo. Too many people in the fandom are raised on a community of porn, where they are an anonymous entity that isn't even human. Without a basis in the real world of law and etiquette we can turn into animals, just impulse driven horny beasts with no sense of consequence. The worst part is so many of them don't see that as an insult, or even a problem.
I will support your right to be what you want and live how you like, but keep a filter on in civilization.
http://26.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l.....lcu6o1_500.gif
PREACH IT
Next the think about women being perceived as inferior is outrages especially in this fandom. There are an over whelming amount of amazing and talented women in this fandom who are amazing in their craft. It amazes me every time I hear that an artist receives death threats just because they are female, in he case of blotch. But ya, I don't know how it feels to be judged for my gender but I so know about being judged for my sexuality.
In Both cases the topic is more than skin deep. It's genetics, and unless they somehow find the "gay/straight" gene, that isn't gonna change. So why cant people just accept everyone as they are? Probably because They grew up in the internet and lack the actual experience of seeing how their actions effect others. Also another reason I believe is the parents not bestowing their children with proper morals of respect and accountability, two attributes that are becoming less and less common. Thus causing a down word spiral. This is felt all through the system from the basic family, to the net, and all the way to the highest ranks of the government.
Sorry bout the wall of text, its just something I feel deeply about.
I have never understood why if people are going to make sexual comments / suggestions, they check user pages to see how they feel about it, because now many are just disresepctful and think they can get off with any furry.
Others see them as characters that can be manipulated however they want instead of being actual people
(I have to be a really fluffy housecatin terms of furry)
Yeah I have very little sexual work, I prefer most artwork I get to be "In fur" aka Naked but no bits or nipples visible.
The more sexualised peoples furrys are the more "free game" furrys seem to think they are..
I have 1 piece of what I would call "furry porn" and that is of me and my partner.
we know some kitties who have already dealt with the same crap you describe
Another thing I can't stand is when men try to hit on me because I'm single. Like, it wouldn't be so bad but they persist in wanting to talk dirty or know such things about me as if I'm some kind of skank or whatever. I dunno if it's on topic here but it's still a disrespectful sterotype that all the single ladies are loking to fling and yiff.
It's extremely high.
After about 6 moths maybe longer he split with me because of it, not that he had been with anyone but because I had, he never told me anything, never said that he did mind in fact he always told me he didn't.
I loved him completely, was actually planning on moving to be with him.
Anyway, what happened with that has not only destroyed my trust in open relationships it destroyed my trust in others, I'm going to say loyalty but it may be something else.... the fact he lied to me saying he didn't mind. when he did. i would have flown to the moon if he asked.
I support this anyway i know a few couple in closed relationships that have there icon's stating as much just to stop people asking.