FA+
Shop
Personal Post/Vent, Update.
13 years ago
Okay, so, I didn't die. I'm still around, and I haven't abandoned FA.
I'm not very good at writing so I'll try to summarize everything that's been happening with me to the best of my ability, hopefully without being overly confusing. Things have been shit.
A couple of months ago I needed to go to the doctor because of some pretty serious issues. I was sick, and in the middle of everything there was some secret battle going on between my health insurance, my OB/GYN, and my primary doctor's office. One group said this, the other said that, and somehow I was landed with a $500 medical bill. I tried to appeal it, I didn't win because my insurance decided to drop me because of another person's carelessness. I was very lucky to have a caring person step in and offer me help.
I moved on from one job and took another, better employment opportunity closer to home. I thought I had made the right decision and that I was moving forward from an unpleasant bit of the year.
That's when the Dr. shafted me for another $625. Apparently not only had they been mistaken about my initial exam being covered, they also decided to tell me that my insurance wasn't going to spot a penny for the additional exams and blood work. They charge you each individual month you are treated. I had apparently only felt the burn of the first month. I grit my teeth, and decided that though it was a shitty turn of events, I needed to be optimistic. I still had a job. I could pay it off. All the while, I was increasingly ill, passing out at work, and suffering through other symptoms I'm too embarrassed to talk about on here.
I tried for a while to keep my chin up, but the physical and mental stress of it all took a toll on me. I became depressed to the point where I was going to make a lot of wrong decisions. I would clock out of work, get in my car, and cry.
Things scooted along like that for a while, but I kept up my work. One Sunday I was called by the wife of the owner of the company I worked at. In the most indifferent, casual way she told me I was fired. I asked why. She said that I wasn't a proper fit for the job and it was not negotiable.
I was incensed. She had never even met me. To be short about it, I tore her a new asshole. But the anger turned into despair and once again I broke down. I had been kicked when I was down.
I went in and got my last paycheck. One of the employees asked me what had happened, and he told me that apparently that was something they did on a regular basis. They used employee's livelihoods as a foothold to get ahead. It was one of the most callous things anyone has ever done to me.
My health seemed to improve, but I pretty much shut down. I was uninsured, unemployed, drowning in debt, and depressed. I was able to be granted unemployment. It's not much, but it covers my other bills. Sometimes I'm on time with them, sometimes I'm behind. It depends on which creditor I can give priority to.
Shortly after that my mom told me she had colon cancer. I sat with her through all of her moments of despair. I have a lot of issues when it comes to my mother. She's abusive and a borderline alcoholic. But it crushed me to watch someone think they were going to die. I don't like to see people terrified and helpless like that. I don't enjoy watching my family hurt.
So I've pretty much carried on from that point. Some days are better than others. I've taken up the surrogate mother role more than I have ever before.
I have a flight March 20th to go on a workaway mission with the person who has helped me every.day. with these heartaches. He is a very, very dear friend of mine. What terrifies me more than anything is that I'm not going to be able to afford the trip. That I will let him down, or come up short. He comes from an equally shitty background, but his capacity to love and show compassion is incredible. He's my buddy. This is our escape from all of this, and I feel like my wings have been clipped before I was ever able to take flight.
I need help. I am ashamed to even asked. I've curled up, been a shut in. I've given up so many times but more than ever I feel motivated to keep moving on and pick myself up. I'm not going to succumb to this depression. I have someone I am responsible for, and I'm not going to lay down and quit until I know I did everything I possibly could to make things better.
If any of you guys or anyone you know need a commission, please consider me. I am $1500+ in the hole, and I need help climbing out. I need this to be a new day.
It feels good to finally get all of this off my chest. Thanks for reading, and if you have any questions please talk to me. I may have lots of wolfy teeth, but I don't bite. <3
I'm not very good at writing so I'll try to summarize everything that's been happening with me to the best of my ability, hopefully without being overly confusing. Things have been shit.
A couple of months ago I needed to go to the doctor because of some pretty serious issues. I was sick, and in the middle of everything there was some secret battle going on between my health insurance, my OB/GYN, and my primary doctor's office. One group said this, the other said that, and somehow I was landed with a $500 medical bill. I tried to appeal it, I didn't win because my insurance decided to drop me because of another person's carelessness. I was very lucky to have a caring person step in and offer me help.
I moved on from one job and took another, better employment opportunity closer to home. I thought I had made the right decision and that I was moving forward from an unpleasant bit of the year.
That's when the Dr. shafted me for another $625. Apparently not only had they been mistaken about my initial exam being covered, they also decided to tell me that my insurance wasn't going to spot a penny for the additional exams and blood work. They charge you each individual month you are treated. I had apparently only felt the burn of the first month. I grit my teeth, and decided that though it was a shitty turn of events, I needed to be optimistic. I still had a job. I could pay it off. All the while, I was increasingly ill, passing out at work, and suffering through other symptoms I'm too embarrassed to talk about on here.
I tried for a while to keep my chin up, but the physical and mental stress of it all took a toll on me. I became depressed to the point where I was going to make a lot of wrong decisions. I would clock out of work, get in my car, and cry.
Things scooted along like that for a while, but I kept up my work. One Sunday I was called by the wife of the owner of the company I worked at. In the most indifferent, casual way she told me I was fired. I asked why. She said that I wasn't a proper fit for the job and it was not negotiable.
I was incensed. She had never even met me. To be short about it, I tore her a new asshole. But the anger turned into despair and once again I broke down. I had been kicked when I was down.
I went in and got my last paycheck. One of the employees asked me what had happened, and he told me that apparently that was something they did on a regular basis. They used employee's livelihoods as a foothold to get ahead. It was one of the most callous things anyone has ever done to me.
My health seemed to improve, but I pretty much shut down. I was uninsured, unemployed, drowning in debt, and depressed. I was able to be granted unemployment. It's not much, but it covers my other bills. Sometimes I'm on time with them, sometimes I'm behind. It depends on which creditor I can give priority to.
Shortly after that my mom told me she had colon cancer. I sat with her through all of her moments of despair. I have a lot of issues when it comes to my mother. She's abusive and a borderline alcoholic. But it crushed me to watch someone think they were going to die. I don't like to see people terrified and helpless like that. I don't enjoy watching my family hurt.
So I've pretty much carried on from that point. Some days are better than others. I've taken up the surrogate mother role more than I have ever before.
I have a flight March 20th to go on a workaway mission with the person who has helped me every.day. with these heartaches. He is a very, very dear friend of mine. What terrifies me more than anything is that I'm not going to be able to afford the trip. That I will let him down, or come up short. He comes from an equally shitty background, but his capacity to love and show compassion is incredible. He's my buddy. This is our escape from all of this, and I feel like my wings have been clipped before I was ever able to take flight.
I need help. I am ashamed to even asked. I've curled up, been a shut in. I've given up so many times but more than ever I feel motivated to keep moving on and pick myself up. I'm not going to succumb to this depression. I have someone I am responsible for, and I'm not going to lay down and quit until I know I did everything I possibly could to make things better.
If any of you guys or anyone you know need a commission, please consider me. I am $1500+ in the hole, and I need help climbing out. I need this to be a new day.
It feels good to finally get all of this off my chest. Thanks for reading, and if you have any questions please talk to me. I may have lots of wolfy teeth, but I don't bite. <3
sorehock
[ Hide Comment ] (No Subject) Posted: a second ago
It's no problem, I plan on removing the slot limit so it's unlimited. (not really in a position to put a cap on things, ha!) shoot me a note about your sketch, i'll reply asap. and thank you!
Pimpage! I hope things get better for ya soon!
Here's hoping you get a bit of positive through all of this overwhelming negative.
all credit goes to
The world can overwhelm you hun, believe me when I say its hard to keep going under that grind, but also believe me when i say, when you pick you head up and look. all you'll see is a sea of others who wish you a good day and a happy smile. I'm glad you wrote a journal and asked for help. You do great work and i just can't wait to see more of you on here.
want to help. But I'm also currently dealing with medical debt (I'm in a little bit of a deeper hole than you but still, I know how hard it is/stressful it can be to deal with ESPECIALLY with everything else you're going through. I consider myself lucky that I don't also have to deal with helping a family member cope or being fired.) so
I'd be okay offering to color any sketch commissions you get free of charge if that will help you any/get you more buyers. You can keep all the money from it, and I'll color em. My heart goes out to you. I wish I could actually help money-wise. ;___; ♥
Thank you for your support. You're welcome to color any sketch commissions I draw and post them to your gallery, hopefully that will draw more attention to both of our situations. This sort of collaboration between both of us could be quite beneficial!
Wishing you luck. I will feature you in my journal soon, and spread the word of the tough time you're having and the commissions you are doing.