People have asked me over the years “Volsar, your super awesome and sexy. But Why did you choose abra to be your divine avatar to be worshipped by the masses.” And I would reply simply, “Because abras are awesome.” Let me explain to you now why abra’s are awesome.

To start, abras are so fucking adorable. I mean come on, look at those cute squinty eyes and that devious grin. You can’t help but hug the awesome cuteness. When being so cute is so easy, it’s hard not to fall in love with abras. In several of abra’s multitude of appearances in the anime, he was portrayed in a very adorable way. I mean look at that smile. http://www.pocketmonsters.net/image.....cters/1430.png You cannot deny abra’s cuteness. It’s impossible. It also has those cute pauldrons naturally as part of his body. Makes me wonder if at one time abras naturally had a cape as part of their body. I mean look at those fucking pauldrons. They are begging for a sexy cape to flow in the wind. So fucking awesome.

Now, onto the next point as to why abra is the best. Well some see its requirement for sleep to be a weakness. I mean yeah to the untrained eye eighteen hours of sleep a day could be seen as a weakness. But that’s WRONG! Abra’s don’t need to do anything to be awesome, they just are. They sleep so much so they can maintain their level of awesome. Same way Rainbowdash does.

Even sleeping, abra is still more awesome than any other pokemon. Why? Because abra doesn’t need to take any of your shit. You annoy an abra, it fucks off. And you can’t stop it. Why? Because it can fucking teleport. You aren’t worth its time so it just teleports away to some far off location you will never find. Abras can teleport better then the fucking Enterprise. They can even do it while asleep. How? Because they are fucking awesome! They can hypnotize themselves, so they can sleep and yet still attack and teleport while sleeping. How fucking awesome is that? ALL OF THE AWESOME! They don’t need any of that sleep talking, snoring bullshit.

But you might say “Abra’s can only learn teleport anyway. Not like they can attack.” That’s where you’re wrong. Teleport is so awesome it’s the only move it bothers to learn itself. The rest are given to it by TMs and HMs because it doesn’t need to waste its time learning the shit by itself. It could, just isn’t worth the time.

On that note, Abra’s also have the highest special attack of any basic pokemon. As psychic is the most powerful of the attributes, abra’s hold the greatest power with the most awesome attacks. You come at me with your pokemon, I unleash a powerful psychic attack at you. Oh but whats this, you have dark pokemon? Abra can kick your ass with moves like Charge beam, Signal beam, Energy ball, and a wide variety of other moves. The elements are abra’s bitch!

But pokemon like Mew and Mewtwo are stronger, aren’t they more awesome? Nope. They are legendaries that is true. Abras don’t need to be legendary to be awesome. Abra’s can breed, legendary pokemon cant. Yeah theoretically we just haven’t seen it, and there was that lugia baby in the anime, but fuck it. Legendaries don’t get the kind of action abra’s do. Why? Because legendaries aren’t fucking abra! They wish they were, bet they would love some tight abra ass, but nope. Abra’s breed all the time. So many abra babies. How many legendary babies? I rest my fucking case with those so called awesome pokemon.

Abras have some dynamic fucking abilities. Synchronize, which means if you paralyze or poison an abra, you could get it right back, while the abra just doesn’t give a shit. Why? Because it’s fucking awesome and doesn’t care for your poison. If it doesn’t have that, it has Inner focus. Abra’s don’t flinch. You can’t scare an abra into not attacking or kicking your ass. All you can do is hope that your ass isn’t vulnerable to the for mentioned abra breeding drive. If it is, you’re going to be busy with a horny abra.

You think you can prove abra aren’t awesome? I fucking dare you to try. Just try to prove any other pokemon is better than abra. You won’t be able to, because abra is the best. That is why I chose abra to be my sona! That is why Volsar Rewtree exists today!