So I like to think I'm a pretty social fellow. I don't imediatly slap people down who try to be all buddy buddy. I give people a chance, I try to pull people out of their shells and so forth but of course I have things I want to do with my day so I cant always chit chat, or I miss messages due to having something fullscreen up.

This time someone made a journal about wanting more folk on steam to play games and chat with. I figured why not, I could always use new steam folks to talk it up with. This was say about.. a week ago. And since doing so every conversation has been about this person trying desperatly to get in touch with a ex that supposedly was ignoring them for the past couple months. I put on my best neutral "Man that sucks but what about X subject not entirely having to do with ex" to get to know the person. It never worked, and the few times they did message me it would always be with passive "Mmh." or "Uh.." and never a hello, how you doing, etc etc. Which leads us to today.

X: Hm
Frenor: Hey cutie, whats up?
X: Idk. Just wondering why people don't find me interesting
Frenor: Thats a odd thing to wonder about.
X: Not really. Not when you don't have friends for 5 years.
Frenor: *Offers a arm.* I think that depends on what you consider a friend me thinks.
X: Something no one ever seems to want to be with me
X: No one ever talks to me
X: No one ever invites me to games
X: No one ever wants to hang out
X: No one ever texts me
X: No one ever asks me how my day is going

Its at this point I'm full on :I and I'm just going to be blunt with the poor person. I didn't want to sound like a asshole but after a week of this I figured it was time to pull my pants up and get Dr Phil on.


Frenor: *Takes his arm back for now.* Well I think its your aproach really. I mean since I first added you on steam i've tried to be social but all you could do was whine about your ex rather than wanting to talk. It sorta makes it hard for someone to get to know you more than a clingy not interested in hearing about others type.
X: I'm sorry for wanting to get back together with my ex?
X: If people don't want to stand by people while they show emotions other than happy, they aren't meant to be friends in the first place
Frenor: Look, I'm sure your passive aggressive stance does you wonders for others.. oh wait you just got done telling me you have no friends. I was merely giving you what wasn't working from my point of view. Its great you wanted to patch things up with your ex. I wasnt knocking that. But in the same boat you were completly ignoring someone who was wanting to come along and be a new friend when he was even willing to talk about the exbf clinging on to stuff.
X: And I didn't knock that away
X: But in the same sense, I am dealing with an ex. I am going to have emotions
X: If you don't like that, that is not my fault.
X: I seem to be one of the few people who doesn't bottle crap up on the internet.
X: Gotta take the good with the bad, yo
Frenor: Its not about "bottling crap" up. It just makes you look self absorbed if all your willing to discuss is issues with you and your ex. The few times you did start up a conversation you didn't even open up with a "hey how are you doing".. you would literally come in with your ex.. or today with how people dont want to be your friend.
X: So, you expect me to fake being happy because you don't want to hear the other stuff?
X: That's what I don't get
Frenor: Look I dont expect you to do anything. You asked me a simple question on why people dont want to be involved with you.
Frenor: Its not about being fake happy, or fake anything.
Frenor: Its about being empathetic to the fact its not just you in the conversation.
X: I suppose I shouldn't have expected anything other than "Lol, no one likes negative emotions"
Frenor: Well do people like only ever seeing negative thoughts? Especially when its ALL you come to them with?
X: I would have a lot less negative thoughts
X: If
X: X: No one ever talks to me
No one ever invites me to games
No one ever wants to hang out
No one ever texts me
No one ever asks me how my day is going
X: Those were fixed
Frenor: Cool. So then I've pointed out how shelving some of your self pitty to see what other people have in their bucket rather than hoping they will just sponge up some of yours do you think you have a fair enough idea on how to fix that?
X: See, but none of this negative emotion would happen if other people actually acted like friends
Frenor: Because
X: I did not create these emotions, other people did. I am not the one who needs to fix anything. People need to learn how to be people
Frenor: when you made a journal asking for folks to be in touch.
Frenor: no one messaged you.
Frenor: no one asked how you were doing
Frenor: right?

I was getting ready to comment about I had been someone who got in touch with them that way.

X: I have no idea why I'm trying to explain anything to someone who obviously doesn't understand how people are supposed to act.
Frenor: Because you dont know how people are supposed to ask. Your throwing a pitty party no one wants to come to. You and I are talking because you made ajournal about wanting folks to talk to, and I came to talk to you.
Frenor: For a few days I went out of my way to even actively say hello, but all the conversation would be about is you trying to stalk your ex.
X: Whatever you say bro, come talk to me when you want to act like a normal human
X is now Offline.


I'm sharing this because honestly this happens about.. once a season maybe? Folks who could be awesome to hang out with but who just.. talk and act like this. People would love to be social with you. I would be happy to. But they cant unless YOU LET THEM. So if you read this, and go "Man it sorta sounds like me" then just take a moment to think about all the folks who tried to be your friend, and maybe even apoligize to em. I'm sure people are gonna read this and go "Man Frenor you were being kind of a asshole." to which I'll say yeah it can be taken as that, but if I'm being presented a honest question I'm going to give a honest answer even if its one that someones not gonna agree with. I'm blunt when people come at me with social questions.

I'm not trying to cause a ruckus, just sorting out the noise.