What is black and white and read all over?

Oh god, this joke XD

: ( Now I feel all bad for not telling a good job..I have failed you!! *cries*

I was planning to attend the Clairvoyance Convention next week, but it was canceled due to unforeseen events.

Niiice

....Goddamnit XDDD

What do you get when you put 50 lawyers in a room with 50 lesbians?




One hundred people who don't do dick.

I'll take the lesbians.




If they're hot. :V

What has two banks and no money?


A river!

.... XD;

Yay your happy

A guy meets a hooker in a bar. She says, "This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for $300, as long as you can say it in three words." The guy replies, "Hey, why not?" He pull his wallet out of his pocket, and one at a time lays three hundred-dollar on the bar, and says, slowly: "Paint…my…house."

That was absolutely brilliant XD

Hahahaha yeah, I still love that joke XD

How many Computer Programers does it take to screw in a light bulb?



Whoa hold on, that's a hardware problem.

....Wow lol XD

xP Nerd Jokes

i hope you feel better soon.

Thank you. A lot of bad stuff is going on, lately ;w;

A police officer sees a man driving around with a pickup truck full of wolf pups. He pulls the guy over and says... "You can't drive around with wolf pups in this town! Take them to the zoo immediately." The guy says "OK"... and drives away. The next day, the officer sees the guy still driving around with the truck full of wolf pups, and they're all wearing sun glasses. He pulls the guy over and demands... "I thought I told you to take these wolf pups to the zoo yesterday?" The guy replies... "I did . . . today I'm taking them to the beach!"

And now, a dirty joke.

Little Red Riding Hood was walking through the woods on her way to
visit her grandmother, when suddenly a wolf jumped out from behind
a tree.
"Ah-ha!" the wolf said, "Now I've got you. And I'm going to eat you!"
"Eat! Eat! Eat!" Little Red Riding Hood said angrily. "Damn it!
Doesn't anybody fuck anymore?"

I'll show myself the door.

Oh god the wolf pup one XD

Hmm, I had a good joke a while ago, can't remember all the details but I think it went something like this.... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zXo.....0&index=35 ....... the end.

War does not determine who is right but who is left X3

What did the doctor say to the clown?

"you have terminal cancer"

Here this one is actually funny.


"I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already."

Two friends are hiking in the woods and they're having a jolly good time
One friend clutches his chest and falls to the ground, the other pulls out his cellphone and calls the doctor
He says over the cellphone, "Doctor, I think my friend is dead, he clutched his chest and everything!"
The doctor says, "Okay, he might have had a heart attack, can you make sure that he is actually dead?"
And on the other side of the phone, the doctor hears a loud thud and the friend speaks up, "Okay, now what?"

oh fuck xD wrong but so funny. wish i could like this.

Hahahahaha, yeah, I love that one! XD

Why do zombies hate eating clowns? Because they taste funny.

Goddamnit, hahaha XD

A border guard is at his point when a man on a bike rides up with two sacks. The guard asks the man to open them and he checks inside: Nothing but sand. Puzzled the guard has to let the man on his way. Two days later the same guy is back with two more sacks. Once again he asks the man to open them... still sand. He takes the sacks and has them checked along with the sand. STILL nothing but cloth and sand. He lets the man go on his way. This happens every two days for 7 years, till the guard retires. The guard tracks the man down and BEGS with the guy.

"WHAT where you smuggling?"
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
"Bikes, bitch."

....Gotta remember that one! X3

Glad you like. Hope it cheered you up a bit =3

Haha yeah, it did, thank you! X3

What has no job, no money, and something of it's gets fucked on a regular basis?

Me and my life, lol.

Hmm... maybe I should try my hand at this. ... ... ...

So... ... a baby seal walks into a club...

But could the club even handle him?

.....Fucking lol XD