Awright, so Fur the 'More. I suppose I can now say with some confidence that I have experienced both extremes of a con experience having been to AC and also one of the smallest cons. I truly can't choose a favorite because they both have a lot to bring to the table. There are many pros and many cons to each... con, and you'll just have to choose for yourself which cons would stop you from going to a particular con due to that con's cons conning you out of a good con experience.

Yeah, that last sentence was just to weed out the weak-willed. Now, on to the post-con report. A big ham-string came right off the bat in that I didn't know of this con's existence until the week of, giving me practically no time to plan. AceFox wasn't going and said that he would let me borrow his fursuit, but I didn't have the time to go meet up with him. I couldn't get off work on Friday because of the short notice, but I did manage to get out relatively early that day. I didn't necessarily ask, but regardless I left work at like 1100. I was already missing the con by then so I had to make a tough call on departure. I didn't know when Ace would be home, so I couldn't really justify waiting for him to get out of work to grab the suit before I left. So, missed opportunity there. Still, I reasoned, if I can make it to more of the con, that should make up for it. Turns out it was a pretty good decision. He called at like 1630 to let me know he was getting out of work.

Up until now I had regarded Maryland as 'That over-urbanized speed trap that I have to pass through to get to New York' and DC as 'that endless, blazing abyss of unceasing oblivion that must be avoided at all costs during any east coast travel.' Having now been forced to drive straight through both of them, I can say that my second impressions have updated my perceptions to something more like this:

Ahhh! Holy sweet mother of Christ everything is trying to kill me! How the fuck do these people continue to exist without descending into a blasted miasma of fear-induced insanity? I'm taking my life and those of anyone within 20 yards into my hands whenever I take my foot off the brake! What the holy Christing buggery fuck is wrong with this pla-AAAAAAHHHHFUCKFUCKFUCKFUUUCK!!

I have been set on fire and in so doing experienced orders of magnitude less blinding terror than this particular commute. If not for my experience at work with regularly having to keep cool in life-threatening situations I would've screamed like a howler monkey caught in a bear trap for a solid hour. My envisioned best-case scenario was "Only running over a couple people and getting away with it" on my way there. The state law in DC gives pedestrians there the right-of-way no matter what and it makes them a right nasty bunch of entitled little fucks about this whole situation. It certainly doesn't help the matter that a more effective street infrastructure could've been planned out by a brain-dead quadruple-amputee playing Sim City by bashing his face against a Wacom tablet.

I suppose I can't complain about the delay due to traffic (Which was mind-boggling nonetheless) because the onslaught of unrelenting soul-searing terror made me pray to whatever merciful god would listen for a bus to stop in front of me to make a left across two Northbound and all four Southbound lanes just so that I would have a precious fraction of a second to collect the ever-fleeting broken shards of my resolve to continue in order to make it another 18 feet to the next red light. That prayer was indeed answered, and though I didn't phrase it quite like that when I asked, I was grateful to fate for providing me the reprieve.

It was 3:30 PM and I was driving in a lane that was marked "Northbound 10AM-4PM only". What kind of sick Jack Bauer doomsday clock scenario did I just buy my way into? That would've been a lot less terrifying if I had ever changed lanes successfully on the first try through the entire fucking city. Where I come from a horn is a way of telling drivers that they are doing something wrong. In DC it's a way of telling other drivers "Fuck you dickwad this is my lane and you can't have any! ONLY MY DESTINATION IS OF ANY SIGNIFICANCE!" After realizing that this was the norm instead of the exception I was forced to play chicken with nearby cars during every merge, forcing my way into their path and having to earn my place in their lane by demonstrating that I was entirely willing to smash their car with mine should the two attempt to occupy the same space. Should I fail to rise to that challenge, I knew that I would never be able to change lanes or make a turn and ultimately escape this post-apocalyptic demented Seussian deathtrap.

So, once I had put 300 miles on my car and about 12,000 on my adrenal glands, I arrived at the convention center, nestled safely in the middle of a bizarre commercial/industrial complex that was a microcosm of the rest of the state's "Aggregate random unrelated buildings all in the same place" theory of city planning. The fight-or-flight response having suppressed my appetite into oblivion, I hadn't eaten the entire trip. So, I sought out Hengstolf so that I could meet up with him and his pack to eat at Panera Bread. Stunned and relieved that this did not somehow also turn into a disaster of mythic proportions the way everything else had, I enjoyed my meal and actually managed to calm down a little. Honestly once you get past the drawbridge and the flaming portcullis made of the shattered ruins of broken dreams, Baltimore is a pretty nice place.

Despite my best efforts, I had still managed to miss pretty much the entire first day of the con. I missed the opening ceremonies, the writing contest, the first writing panel AND the publishing panel, the Doctor Who panel and all sorts of meet-and-greet events that I thought would've been really nice to go to. It was around 7PM before I had finally reassembled myself into something resembling a human being and got around to actually checking out some convention events. In my first stroke of fortune I had gotten back to the convention hall just in time for Uncle Kage's Story Hour. I had no idea he was here until just then. Hell, the con would've been almost worth it just for that. I accrued a great deal of respect for the man in the fleeting moments that I spent in his presence at AC'12 and I leapt at the chance to partake of his wisdom again.

As the crew got things set up, I recognized Ice Man by his partial suit and gave him a shout-out. I've seen some art of him in uniform so I wanted to ask if he was in the military too and various other things. Of course if he is, he's in the real military. He's a native Icelander and his physique certainly reflects that. He looked like he could juggle three of me while casually chewing up a bottle cap. I didn't get to say much to him because the Man himself was about to take the stage for story time and it would've been rude to just keep chatting away, but he said I could find him some other time to talk. That ended up never happening and I quietly lamented another missed opportunity. Still, nice to bump into someone I've heard of and perhaps vice versa, put a face to the name and such.

The Story Hour went just as I expected. Very clever, insightful and entertaining. Dr. Conway has such an interesting perspective on the world and a whimsical way of phrasing just about everything. I truly envy that skill. When a cameraman asked if he would hold a microphone for his panel so that he could pick up better sound, "Yes." would've conveyed the necessary information, but instead the unsuspecting tech got this:
"Well I suppose if you were to provide me with the necessary gadgetry I could hold it in the appropriate position for a time while I make face noises into it such that your hulking technical machine there could effectively capture the rich pageantry of a drunk old man up on stage talking nonsense."

Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. There's no chance to add flair or wit that goes to waste whenever his mouth is open, provided it isn't being filled with wine at the time. Because of this extremely distinctive and memorable personality of his I've come to dread the next opportunity that I find myself face-to-face with my Commanding Officer. His appearance and manner of speaking match that of the Good Doctor closely enough that I'm having a great deal of difficulty taking him seriously anymore. I'm forced to assume that it wouldn't go particularly well if I were ever forced to explain exactly what it is that I keep giggling about.

After the hour was up, in a turn of events I never would've foreseen, someone called out my name, my actual given human surname, from behind me. I turned to see a new sailor from my ship that had come to ask me about the fandom earlier that week. He had stumbled upon it recently and learned of my connection to it in passing. (Must remember to ask him exactly how he came across this information.) He had come to me on Tuesday to ask my advice about crafting fursuits. A subject that I freely admit I know absolutely nothing about, but I could put him in touch with the right people.

I was astonished to see him there, and with a 'Super-special-awesome turbo Whamodyne epic chocolaty fudge-coated mega sponsor' ribbon attached to his badge no less. I couldn't follow that logic at all. "Yeah I've known the fandom existed for on the north side of 90 seconds, I think I'll opt for the $400 one-step-below-Jesus level sponsor registration." Ah well, gotta love the enthusiasm.

In any case, we chatted for a moment and I surreptitiously moved our conversation in the general direction of Dr. Conway. I asked if he'd met him yet, and he responded with the same answer everyone does. "Everyone's met Uncle Kage." Good for him. Still, I saw an opportunity there, and since this was pretty much the last event of interest for the night, I saw no reason to leave if the big cheese was still there having a good time and being his magnanimous self. My colleague didn't seem too excited about staying there, or at least not as excited as I was, but I was not compelling him to stay there by any means so I didn't think anything of it.

In due time, my appeal to fate was rewarded beyond anything I could've expected. Kage had been well provided for by his hosts, and soon lamented: "Well I seem to have most of a bottle left here and I'm beginning to get some subtle biological signals that indicate I may be unable to finish it all by myself..." And with that came the chance I had been waiting for. I got to pay a little back to him. Drink some wine with Uncle Kage and tell him a few stories and make him laugh a little. It was a chance that I relished with great fervor. I don't even like wine, really. Perhaps there is something to the idea that it's all about who you're enjoying it with, because I certainly never said no, even when the Good Doctor reached his limit and offered to let me play cleanup for him.

We were out there until near midnight having a grand old time. The staff shuffled us back and forth once or twice, always very demurely because of who I was with, but we kept on talking and laughing until it was nearly tomorrow. A truly rewarding experience for me, really. I'll never forget what he said to me at this moment:
"Why yes, of course! But we're going to have to take this sitting down."

I only managed to make it to one event my first day, but I still called it a very good day. And the second had only just begun. Literally, as I'd gotten to bed at something like 0005. Having my own room was expensive, but actually quite worth it. There are a lot of times when you just want to stumble into your room and pass out. Having someone there to interfere with that can really ruin your day.

Saturday was well populated, and I easily found something to do right off. The morning had a lot of 'First-timers' sort of panels, which I still went to. I'm hardly an expert in these matters, and certainly planning was a glaring weakness of mine in this con. There were some useful tips to be had, but I was convinced by the end that I actually have a pretty good handle on what I'm doing. I probably won't be going to too many of those in the future, but they were good times certainly. In the interim I managed to get one of those "only at a furmeet" videos. I captured LuckyCoon playing a grand piano in fursuit. An interesting sight to be sure.

From there it was off to the writing panels. Despite jumping on the horse midstream due to my late arrival I feel like I got a lot out of them, and in any case I had a lot of fun. Ianus J. Wolf was the same person that had led AC's writing panels, so I felt really comfortable there and sparked a lot of interesting discussion topics. The fursuit parade was quick and remarkably streamlined, though that might've been due as much to the convenience of having only a hundred or so fursuiters as it was the efforts of the directors. I turned out for it and took a bunch of terrible, streaky motion-shots as usual. I really wanted to find that guy 'Rad Fox' that I saw, but he vanished mysteriously after the group photo. I wonder if it's a gimmick or if he's actually in the industry.

Later in the day I was really feeling the sting of leaving the fursuit behind. This con was nowhere near as busy as AC, and there was a significant amount of fluff time in which it would've been really easy to just throw on a fursuit and go to town. I said this to Hengstolf, and he started in with the old "Well, you're about my size..." line. I couldn't believe it. Where did I get such awesome friends?

So there I was with a borrowed wolf partial that I was more than welcome to throw on and make a fool of myself for a few hours. It had a disquietingly small view-field, but it was most certainly a gift horse, so I went ahead and enjoyed the hell out of it. I even went to a panel in it. I felt a bit foolish doing so, but you've got to get over this "Feeling foolish" nonsense really fast if you hope to ever truly enjoy fursuiting. Hard to really get into dressing up as a werewolf and dancing around a hotel lobby like an idiot if you're going to have any reservations about doing it. I caught the tail-end (so to speak) of one of the Fursuit Performance panels and I really wish I'd gotten all of it. I really have no idea what I'm doing and there's apparently a number of aspects to fursuiting that I didn't even know I didn't know.

So anyway, I was in that suit approximately forever. Remind me to add "Taking stupid Facebook profile self-portraits" to my list of things that are really hard to do in suit. Still, suiting is a truly amazing experience. I'll never be able to adequately describe the feeling that you get when you walk by a mirror, or anything reflective really and you get that exhilarating reminder that you are this silly cartoon animal. Even my shadow was a whimsical little prompt that I was something more than I always was.

Another tough decision in the afternoon, I skipped out on the chainmail crafting workshop to go out and eat with my friends. Worth it. I had skipped lunch and it was a great chance to hear what a great time everyone was having. They invited me to their room party later and I went for it. I needed to shower to get all my sweat and the leavings of my synthetic pelt off of me first, but I made it down in good time. The room party was certainly interesting and I got to talk to a few people like Blitz. They had nicked a corrugated plastic sign and were doing shots off of it because it was waterproof enough to serve as a ridiculous novelty funnel. Got to have some cake flavored vodka there. It certainly lived up to the label and got the job done, but I think I'll characterize my reactions to it anatomically.

Tongue: Hell yeah!
Stomach: Meh, sure.
Brain: Woooo Hoooo!
Liver: Yeah, I got this.
Inner ear: You go get 'em champ!
Colon: Fuck you. I'm never speaking to you again.

So yeah, got almost all of the wickets on that one. Anyway, I was pretty buzzed and having a good time. My Kage impression got some laughs, though I think that has a lot to do with the fact that everyone in the room was a couple exponents more lit than I was. There was a late writing panel to go to, and sure, I went for it. I was having fun there, but I realized that I've never been to a room party where my thought the next day was "Aww yeah! I'm SO glad I went to that room party!" A lot of people said that I was weird for going to panels and events all the time instead of just fursuiting and getting drunk, or both at the same time. My assertion in response to that was pretty simple. "Uh, you're dressed up as a blue polka-dotted ferret. You don't get to call me weird." And I was drunk so I then told them to stop throwing houses at their glass rocks. I'm not sure what that means exactly, but it's a very entertaining and evocative visual regardless.

The writing panel was super-awesome and I only partly credit the liquor with that. I get really talkative when I'm drunk, so a discussion panel was actually a perfectly appropriate place to be. I got lucky and remained below the 'constantly yelling' phase of inebriation for the whole of it. Once again I learned a lot and had a ton of fun. I think I'm going to make getting drunk and going to a really late panel a tradition, because it went so very well both times I tried it.

After the panel I stuck around, not because I had any real interest in the next event, the Rocky Horror Picture Show, but because I saw that Ianus was just kind of standing around not doing much at about the same time that I was also doing so. I took that opportunity to assail him with questions one-on-one about the novel I'm writing. He was very accommodating and had a wealth of useful advice to share. He said that it was really for the best that I couldn't get to a publishing panel to save my life. He said publishing is the last thing I should be worrying about right now. Literally the last thing. Right now it's all about making words happen to a piece of paper and getting to that part where it says "The End". Then you sit on it for a couple months and read it all again to realize how stupid you were back when you wrote it so you can revise everything, get comments and feedback from your beta-readers and revise again, by then it'll be ready for a real, paid editor who will tell you about another several hundred corrections you need to make, and then you can go talk to a publisher. I've got some work to do still is what I'm saying.

I like to think that I was being personable since he put up with me for so long, but there was a bit of ill-advised Kage-phrasing to some of the things that I said. He said that he had work to do with the next event and I sent him off with something like:

"No, that's perfectly all right. I'm asking of your time and I know that not everyone can afford to give their time away for free in this very tight time-economy. If you've got work to do that I'm keeping you from by all means get yourself there. I just saw that you had some downtime that coincided with my downtime and I had some brain noises that I wanted to turn into face noises in your general direction."

I got through all that remarkably fast and coherently for my mental state at the time. I think the burnoff had gotten me into that sweet spot where the inebriation makes you somehow paradoxically more coordinated. My theory is that only the slow and weak brain cells are hampered at that point, streamlining the brain's efficiency. In any case, I must've done something right, because we had a lot of good talk and in the end Ianus gave me his card and said he'd look my work over if he had the time. Big victory there. He's a published author and knows enough about writing to host panels on the subject regularly. It gave me five confidence cookies just having talked to him.

I felt really good and I was in the room already, so I figured why not watch the Rocky Horror Picture Show? The movie was literally brought to me and despite my long and storied history of hanging out with crazy people, I had never seen it before. I took my seat in front, and my colleague sat near me for a time. He moved later to get a better view. As people filed in for the showing, a honey badger with a purple stripe down his back sat next to me. There were some technical difficulties at the beginning of the showing, so there was a bit of time to kill while we tried to get all these newfangled gadgets to cooperate. You can only sit there chanting "Start the fucking movie" for so long.

Now, the fursuiter seated right next to me was quite stout of build, at least in comparison to the 180-odd pounds of stringy nerd that was seated to his left, so physical contact of a sort was unavoidable. As with many things though, I took it in stride. I was fine with a tail in my chair and a significant deficit of personal space, it comes with the territory. As time went on though, I got even more comfortable in my spot up against this tower of fluffy warmth. There was skritching and petting and other such things that I only now consider normal having been in the fandom as long as I have. We had our arms around each other for the whole movie, keeping up with the little gestures of affection.

It was very out-of-character for me, but I was almost entirely sober by that time, so I really have no explanation for it. It's hard to pinpoint the transition between just playing along and genuinely enjoying myself, but those are certainly the start and end points of this little cinematic experience. I really did have fun then. I wish I had a cuddly fursuiter to snuggle up against for every movie I see. I can only imagine what my colleague must think having seen that going on. Ah, well. Can't worry too much about reputation in this context I suppose. I found my new friend later at the headless lounge because we never did exchange info during the screening. Call me old-fashioned but I do like to get the name of people that I spend an hour or so plus the entirety of a full, feature-length film skritching and cuddling with. He goes by Nom Crunch and I do hope I'll run into him another day soon.

Tumbling into bed at 3 AM at the end of all that was a very satisfying feeling. As was waking up pretty much whenever I wanted on Sunday. That morning was quiet so I slept in. To be frank, that whole day was pretty quiet. A lot of people, including my friend from back home and most of his pack, headed home early. A lot of people were fearful of the hellacious traffic they'd fought through on the way in. Despite my harrowing and traumatic experience inbound, I wasn't too worried. Comparing Sunday traffic to Friday traffic is like comparing apples to Cobalt-seeded neutron cluster bombs.

I stopped by the artist's alley and market place, giving them more than the quick cursory glance of previous days. I said hello to Gideon and chatted a bit. I really do love his art, but I really stopped by because Kage said that he was a good friend of his and was always worth talking to. I also found Heather Burton, who has done some of my all-time favorite depictions of the Egyptian pantheon. I got a Horus bookmark from her and a really nifty Anubis lapel pin.

I went to the Reddit panel just for the heck of it. I may get into that now, not that I particularly need another online time-sink. It sounded really interesting though. The furry Olympics were a really good time. It's amazing some of the skill that these fursuiters have. John Striped Fur was showing off all the moves that earned him the wrestling belt he carries. Renashe Tradewind was a real star performer at the limbo. I really liked watching that. It was as if you could really see the concentration on her face.

After that I went to Dr. Conway's other panel. It was all about the tricks and snake oil pills that people dress up as actual science these days. Really interesting to hear about. Again, he has an excellent way of turning a phrase, and I think listening to him will really help my express my own opinions to others in the future. I tend to be a bit abrasive when talking about technical matters, so having a few more delicate instruments in my toolbox will certainly be a benefit.

And then once again a tough choice. There was a lull and the only two remaining events were the charity auction and the closing ceremonies. Do I skip those and make it home at a reasonable hour, mindful of duty on Monday, or do I go for it? As much as it stung to do, I made the mature decision and left early. Having to go back to adulting is so lame, but I didn't really stand to gain a whole lot by staying. If I really needed more swag, I could've just bought it outright at the marketplace. And as for the closing ceremonies, well, I sure as hell wasn't going to be leaving this place at 1900ish I'll tell you that. Post-con depression actually hit me pretty hard right then. It wasn't like AC at all. At the end of that I was actually kind of glad to be going home so that I could get started on the lengthy recovery process. Here it felt like I had just gotten up and then suddenly: "Oh, the con is over..." Still, I knew what I was getting into, and now I find it quite easy to find the good in that experience.

The drive home was effortless thanks to it being a weekend, (being right is awesome.) also due to a bit of once-bitten twice-shy logic on my part. This time I went around the urban centers and took the bridge across the Potomac. It was a longer route and there was a $4 toll there, which is why my GPS and Google maps both refused to acknowledge its existence or told me to avoid it. It saved me a ton of time though, probably added years to my life in the process. When I got off the bridge and almost immediately saw a "Buckle up, Virginia!" sign I thought "Hm? What sorcery is this?"

I still had much driving to do, but it was quiet driving that I was familiar and comfortable with. Even the interim parking lot known as I-95 South was drivable. Though I will say that interchange was the first place I've ever had to wait in line for gas. It wasn't like the infrastructure wasn't there to handle it either. There were three gas stations that I could see from the one that I was at, all of them had lines. Still, the driving was smooth. A few times I found myself hitting 80 or 85 just for the sheer joy of the freedom to go fast if I so chose. In hindsight I realize I may have been a bit too ambitious about it. The long, fast trip gradually turned the gentle, rolling purr that my CV-joint has been making for the last 10,000 miles or so into a much more aggressive, piercing roar. I'll likely have to get that serviced soon. In any case I made it back in good condition, and to duty the next day likewise.

In closing, I can safely say that I really enjoyed this con. I only got about 1.6 days worth of it, but that was honestly a good amount. I won't say small cons are better, they just have different strengths and sensibilities. People that were used to AC, MFF, FWA and the like balked at it, but I don't believe that judgment was fair. The short length and more leisurely schedule made it a lot more accessible to people like me. It's size was what allowed me to stumble into it with hardly any planning or prior notice and still have a blast. It also let me experience a majority of the con without having to do anything special to get out of work.

I heard a couple people whining at different points, and I really didn't know what they were on about. Some said there wasn't anything going on, but I managed to keep busy the entire time pretty well. Granted there were times when I had to look for something to do instead of having activities rained on my head, but I actually rather liked the slower pace. AC'12 was a blast, but I came back from that one practically in traction. I managed to have a lot of fun this weekend without totally wiping myself out, a fact that I really appreciated with 12 hours of watch ahead of me on Monday. And really, I was never at a complete loss. I was occupied enough that I never even went to the video or tabletop gaming rooms, even though those were an option 24 hours a day. A few people said that they were disappointed that they came all this way for "Some tiny weekend con". Uh, 'came all this way'? That was your decision. I was surprised to hear about people coming from Florida or the left coast to be here, but that's their call as to whether or not the trip is worth it No one promised anything more than you got and that's all you can reasonably ask. I came to this one specifically because it was within arm's reach. The short length meant that I could realistically sneak away for a weekend to get there without a big to-do at work.

There was a lot of stumbling because of how late I first heard about it, but that's solved for me personally. I wish that I knew what I know now (when I was younger, Oooh...) a little earlier, but now I know it and unless certain habits of mine worsen significantly in the interim I will not cease knowing it. The visibility problem is solved for a lot of other people by the fact that the con is established now, so word of mouth about it is getting around. Kind of like I'm doing right now. And really, it's not like a small crowd is a bad thing regardless. A smaller con means whole lot less logistical complications. No long lines anywhere, moving about is easy, particularly in suit, parking was close and plentiful, and I when I booked on Wednesday there were still dozens of rooms available at the con rate.

I think there's a lot of merit to this con, and judging by the 400-odd people that turned up for it in its inaugural year I'd say there's a market for it. I'm in for a whole host of life changes here in the year to come, but through it all, I'm going to be sure to keep my calendar marked for Fur the 'More 2014.