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Oh how I loathe drama...
12 years ago
Yet another drama filled week here, full of anxiety and a mild panic attack. I've spent the past few days curled up, taking the maximum dose of my anti-anxiety meds, trying to not completely lose my shit. I do not do change well.
I didn't end up in the hospital, so I guess I succeeded? Still feel like crap, but I can at least string words together into coherent sentences.
I apologize for just kind of disappearing- I've just been wracked with anxiety and unable to focus on much of anything. I've been trapped in a feedback loop of anxiety. Those who have anxiety issues likely know what I'm talking about, but for those of you fortunate enough to never have experienced this, let me explain.
Something causes stress anxiety-> leads to anxiety attack-> which makes you feel like you're dying-> which leads to more anxiety-> which makes you feel worse-> more anxiety-> feel worse-> repeat
Not a pleasant way to spend any time at all, let alone a few days. The lack of sleep, caused by the anxiety and feeling that you're about to die, only amplifies the anxiety and crappy feelings, so it just keeps amping up.
It is official that I must leave the only home I've ever known as I am not wanted here. Since there is an 8-12 month waiting list for housing assistance, and since I'm on SSD I NEED that help, I have a temporary reprieve and don't have to leave immediately. If any of my watchers have experience with HUD, and you're willing to discuss your experience, I would greatly appreciate any advice you have!
I will also start setting aside money because moving out on your own is expensive. I have NO necessities- pots/pans, furniture, dishes, etc.- so I will need a goodly amount of money just to make any place I find livable. :/
Over the next couple of days I'll be catching up on everything, so please be patient with me. OTL
I didn't end up in the hospital, so I guess I succeeded? Still feel like crap, but I can at least string words together into coherent sentences.
I apologize for just kind of disappearing- I've just been wracked with anxiety and unable to focus on much of anything. I've been trapped in a feedback loop of anxiety. Those who have anxiety issues likely know what I'm talking about, but for those of you fortunate enough to never have experienced this, let me explain.
Something causes stress anxiety-> leads to anxiety attack-> which makes you feel like you're dying-> which leads to more anxiety-> which makes you feel worse-> more anxiety-> feel worse-> repeat
Not a pleasant way to spend any time at all, let alone a few days. The lack of sleep, caused by the anxiety and feeling that you're about to die, only amplifies the anxiety and crappy feelings, so it just keeps amping up.
It is official that I must leave the only home I've ever known as I am not wanted here. Since there is an 8-12 month waiting list for housing assistance, and since I'm on SSD I NEED that help, I have a temporary reprieve and don't have to leave immediately. If any of my watchers have experience with HUD, and you're willing to discuss your experience, I would greatly appreciate any advice you have!
I will also start setting aside money because moving out on your own is expensive. I have NO necessities- pots/pans, furniture, dishes, etc.- so I will need a goodly amount of money just to make any place I find livable. :/
Over the next couple of days I'll be catching up on everything, so please be patient with me. OTL
I currently live in a place ran by HUD. In case you don't already know, a security deposit is required prior to moving in(ask them how much it is since it's different in every place) and you may have to follow a few rules while living there. For us, the rules are simply pay the rent on time and keep your living space clean. Don't curse out in loud outside, keep your music down and make sure your visitors know this so they are not driving down the neighborhood with their bass flaring and of course do not abuse the grounds(like trashing or vandalizing it). I suggest your research and ask around about any particular place that is set for housing assistance to make sure it will be a good place for you to go to. Some places ran by HUD are not well kept and can have problems such as lack of maintaining maintenance on anything that needs fixing. The place I live in right now is good. Anything that busts is fixed ASAP, and the grounds are well cared for. Also, our place has a laundry building, which is great since we don't own a washer or dryer. So, that's another thing to check on is what amenities are available if any. I think that's pretty much it. Any questions you have you are welcome to ask me and I will try and answer for you.
Those rules all sound easy enough to live by. I just hope it's got a good landlord because a LOT of places around here don't. This is a college town, so the rents are all ridiculously high even for a little craphole- one place I looked at years ago when I was considering moving in with a friend had a huge hole in the floor- like big enough where you could DIE if you fell in it- and it was STILL $600 a month. >.<
Thanks for your insight!
I hope you are fortunate enough to find one that does have a good landlord. As for the rent, well our rent is based on our income. We only pay $230 a month and our water is included. In the lease, it is clearly stated that the rent cannot go higher than $350. So, even if we somehow start making more money, we still don't have to pay much.
You are welcome.
I could link you them if you like and I know furry classifies would run the help ad for you.
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4520931/
*hugs* I'm sorry Rose. I wish I could be of more help.
*offers a hug*
It's never fun.
But I do love the jewelry you made for me
Signal boost!
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4553945/