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a little rant about stuff.
12 years ago
“And it is still true, no matter how old you are -- when you go out into the world, it is best to hold hands and stick together.”
Seriously I guess I'm a cranky squiggle today... Well no that's not true just a few things have been bothering me
I've been feeling pretty crummy recently as I've noticed a few people needing help financially. One needs help to pay a fine because they broke the law which is why I'm not helping because by helping it kinda negates the fact that they broke the law. the other seems to always need help and no matter how much money I throw at them the next month they need more help and I dunno whether it's just bad luck after bad luck but the thing that bothers me most is that they take lots of commissions to try and get out of the problem but never seem to work on the commissions they've been paid up front for. That kinda irks me. I know stressful situations can cause art block and suchlike but if I was in a situation where I knew drawing commissions would solve the problem I would be at my computer night and day to make the money I needed, not asking for more donations.
I've also been seriously mulling over my head lots about an incident that happened a few weeks ago. Someone I thought was my friend sent me a really hurtful picture explaining how much they hated me. Later that person apologised, and well the thing is they've done that to me a few times and I have helped them lots. I know they have anger problems but I just got fed up with being in the line of fire so I unwatched them. I have forgiven them but I just don't wanna be an emotional punching bag anymore but a large part of me feels like I'm betraying them by not being there. Maybe I should just watch them again just so I can stop feeling like I've abandoned them
Lol and rant over. Sorry this stuff has just really Bern playing on my mind
It's just hard for me to wrap my head around a reason someone would be that angry with you. Lord knows you never give anyone a reason for that rage.
It sounds like you've been doing all you can do for these people and as long as they're unwilling to help themselves what you're doing is never going to be enough. I think it's only fair to extradite yourself from toxic situations and relationships without guilt, even though that's an obvious side effect. Sometimes by discontinuing to help them, you end up giving them the courage to help themselves.
Most of these things are band-aid's anyways when some situations need either major surgery or stitches so continuing to provide band-aids just wont fix anything. There is plenty of philosophy that can be used here.
I think I know who your talking about. The person told me exactly what happened too and showed me the picture they sent you. Even I was surprised by that (especially for a fur-sib) especially considering what the past history is. They know they crossed a line that should never be crossed in any situation at least.
I don't think ignorance (in a sense he REALLY had no idea until after the fact) will get them off so I wont make a comment beyond that. I've done stupid things too but lets just say that was REALLY really dumb , even compared to what I've done.
Some lessons are going to scar you forever regardless of the outcome. All you can do is set your own limit (something only you can really choose) and hope for a positive outcome.
*hugs* I love your art and you little squiggle, please don't be angry for long.
Just be more cautious when dealing with people, otherwise Don't ever stop being you! there is not nearly enough nice people in the world! :3
*hugs tight* i hope everything gets sorted though
This happened to me once before with someone I prefer not to name. For no real good reason he pulled me into chat and started saying really mean and horrible things for no good reason at all.. he tried to use past events between other people that he never even had a part in or knew anything about to justify that I was bad... after a long and heated conversation I find, in actuality, the whole cause of this? Was because I wasn't able to visit him in person as much as he wanted. After we took some time appart to cool down I forgave him and dropped the subject, only to have it happen again over something else. That's the worst part- someone who does something like that will only do it again in the future. >< Or worse, try to subtly hurt you.
I hate to say but sometimes people are just not good. Sometimes the best option, for both of you, is to sever ties, quickly and painlessly, so that you can have peace. Besides, with fewer people around you know who your true friends are. It's always better to have a few close friends than a cloud of people you only semi-know! :3 Don't feel bad for removing someone that isn't fitting in your life. Like a puzzle piece they have their own place they belong.
And it's fully understandable to get some distance between you and a person who does not have any self-control .. lashing out at you for no reason at all. You have not abandoned this person .. they did that on their own.
As for money thing you need to follow your hart on this one some we are not ment to help you must ask that god part of your self.
If its ok. Huggins
So i did not feel unwatching this persone was realy a cold act, that was just normal in this situation.
*Hugs*
Unfortunately some people will never learn - you can take a horse to the watering hole but you can't make him drink - if you've shown him the help or whatnot but he/she doesn't want that help there's sadly not a lot you can do about it. It is probably the best if you can distance yourself from that person.
All in all though don't trouble yourself too much about it and don't let it weigh you down.
Ultimately, sometimes there is just no helping some people and to grow as a person you may have to let them go.
Sowwie to be kinda negative but i hate to see when people are taken advantage of
Love, Snuggles and Cuggles to yoo Cousin Gem Gem
Princess Sylphie
That guy that hurt you needs to get some help, but if it were me, I would not watch him again.
As for your friend, you shouldn't feel bad for unwatching him, if it were me, I'd have blocked him and cut him out of my life by now. :P I have no tolerance for that kind of thing.
My 2 cents for what it's worth, hope venting a bit made you feel better. :) *hugs*
as for the unwatched person. if someone was intentionally shooting a gun at you and you ran away to not get hit by bullets, would you feel guilty just because they were "nice" to you before?
*Hugs protectively*
I myself have some comissions to do I am very vERY late with, but my Tablet is nearly dead and I need to buy a new one :(
I hope things turn better for you!
On the other hand, I'm a lot happier if I pay somebody for something in return -- getting art commissioned or buying something from someone is totally different from giving a gift. Also I'm totally OK with feeding guests who come to visit. So I guess I kind of fail at charity, but commerce and hospitality I'm better at.
So I guess I've slipped into talking about me again, so I'll talk about you some more, Gem Gem ... you get to choose whom to give your money to, and for what, and why, because it's your money. You can't give all your money away because then you wouldn't have any. If somebody's abusing you generosity, you are perfectly within your rights to draw the line. It probably doesn't feel pleasant, but in the end it may actually be better for everyone.
It sounds as if the other person has some issues, and they were causing you pain, and it was time to stop letting them do it. Yupyup.
It blows my mind how I can keep seeing people asking for help too - all the while, they're going to conventions, buying art, and - at least from what I can tell - are living beyond their means.
Priorities.
Wisdom from a toddler.
BoGie
As far as the people who are living beyond their means/begging for money ALL THE TIME...It's not your job to help them. It's one thing to need help once in a while...but all in all, people need to get their priorities straight, as Bogie said above. It's not your responsibility to help them, hun...So my best advice is that if you ever feel like helping someone financially (as a donation or whatever), that you choose carefully who you help & when...Don't stretch yourself too thin!
Secondly, the hate mail/picture thing? Whoever this person is, they seem VERY toxic. Doing that just once isn't acceptable, in my opinion - yes, people have off days but that takes some planning to do...Doing it multiple times? If I was in your situation, I'd say NO, just as you have. You are NOT doing anything wrong by dropping toxic people out of your life. If anything, they've betrayed you, not the other way around. I know how it is to get attached to toxic people, but they'll just drag you down, you know?
Take care of yourself Gem. As my Pap always said, "You gotta look out for #1!"