:c im terribly sorry to hear that hun <3 but im sorry... i cant do anything to help ;w;

Her fault for getting addicted in the first place..... And have nothing better to do than steal their child's money.

I wish you lived locally, id have you just move in with me for a bit

Your mother just seems like a horrible person. I wish I could help

im so sorry, i wish someone is there to help you out.

Dont take it... let me talk to your mom i'll ... something haha...


personally thats a abusive 'relationship' You should move no joke.

Tell her ok.. im Taking a Stand.. Take your checks and Card back and Say "You said i need to get my life together? then i will its time for me to leave
Thank you for showing me the lighted path" And if she Retorts "Hey, You made it very clear, Im an Adult, you might be my mother but you are not
my keeper"

She's using bent psychology on you to take pitty, the 'ploy' use of saying she can throw you out is to keep you locked up in her grasp
i know.. my Ex-Fiancee did that alot to me...*blinks*

Wait sounds really really Familiar here.....Y..yer.. yer not my unknown child are you, omg i sooo sorry! Mumdad hyena has huggles!! ( im just kidding to lighten up a situation)

No offense. Your mother need to get out of your business.

She still makes fun of your character, Nanaki? I guess we've only seen a small portion of that here.

I would have risen up and snapped by now. >_<

I have stuff like that going on in my family , so i know how that is. if i could hang out with you I would. But really your mom needs to stay out of your business and clean up her act.

You need to get out as fast as you can and never go back. I know exactly the type of personality you're dealing with and it's incredibly crippling and destructive. Frankly she's undeserving of you. You need to sever those tendrils she's wrapped around you. Whatever you have to do to get out, focus on that and ignore her pathetic little games and selfish words. Leave and don't look back. You're better than jerk and you don't deserve this. Stay strong and good luck. If you've got the will and drive you'll be fine.

I get the same talk pretty much every day. Enjoy it.

about the being thrown out..... are you paying rent?

I'd have you here in a heartbeat if I could. Sadly, the only getaway option I can think of for you is military, and I'm not so sure how you'd feel on that one.

waiiiit.. your mom's an addict on top of all this?

No, she was calling ME an addict, as in I'm addicted to the computer and internet. :U

Durn okay :P

I've always found it interesting how often people will say people online aren't really people, or meeting people online doesn't count. Exactly what do they think is talking back to them on the other side of the conversation? Since when did the method by which you met someone dictate whether or not it they were worth interacting with?

How's the whole "moving to New York" plan shaping up? Sooner seems a good deal better than later at this rate. >.>

Hoestly, I dont understand why you are still there, there are plenty of people who said that they would help you. But I understand your pain, I came to cali from ohio with nothing but my backpack and whatever I had in my pockets.

So where are you anyway? I'm getting a new place, and if your close enough, you can come with me. owo

I'm in Broward County, Florida :V

Well, unless you wanna drive a thousand miles, I don't think that's an option unfortunately. v.v; Was worth a shot.

All I have is a bicycle. :V

Well, you don't have to own a plane to use one. owo Just need the money for a ticket. >w>; *scrounges through random seats in the house for change*

If I could house you, I would in a heartbeat.

Mother.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Codependency
Take a long, hard look at this.
I'm not against you, but you may have been hurting people more than helping them. I'm sorry.

1, What's done is done. You're not getting his money back. Unlike other things in life, the actual -art- is a service rendered, NOT, an item. You can't repossess it. The artist cannot possibly makeup for the loss of time and materials used. More over, as I said... when you buy art, you are buying someones skill -and time-. Paper is costs cents at most. Pencils, again cents at most. The only thing of value is the artists time. ~ You CANNOT expect an artist who's already given away the commission slot to possibly regain their lost funds. Sorry, but I'm the same way with my PC repair business. I'll refund hardware, but NOT the time I spent, when I could have been spending it on another customer who actually does pay.

Other people need money too. A lot of the artists here are college kids trying to make their way in this 'cold cruel world'. There are people with families. Some of them are mothers with young innocent kids. If they can make extra money off their skills, they will. Consider that for a minuet before begging for compensation.

2, Your Son fucked up. Hammering him over and over isn't going to solve anything.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Major_.....ssive_disorder
This may sound cold hearted, however it's tactically sound. Causing him to become depressed, will not help you in any way. Apathy, will actually make him a considerably less efficient worker. In other words, you'll be lucky if he just says "fuck you, I'm going to run away and join the army/circus/migrant workers". And leave you to deal with your problems on your own. Or, he could just hang himself from a balcony. ~ I don't know how you roll, but I -expect- people fuck up continuously, and in amazing ways all around me. When I have a problem, I can only count on one person to handle it properly, and that's me. You -must- assume that you'll be disappointed, all the time.

You were his age once, I'm sure you were more responsible, but can you really say you haven't used poor judgment your self? You're older now, more experienced, mature, it's your responsibility to both understand, and cope with your own child's ineptitude. Teach though example if possible, but at least try to compromise, rather than become an oppressive force.

3, If your son doesn't want to hang out with the locals, if you believe that he's deluding himself in a fantasy, I'd probably agree with you. However I am an American. I believe in personal freedom and liberty. In other words, if he wants to fuck himself over, it's his choice. He. Will. Pay the consequences later. I'm sorry, but it's true. People are going to do exactly what they want to do weather you like it or not.

I'd also like you to consider for a moment, that some of my best friends have been from the internet. We've had long lasting relationships that have been both mutually beneficial and rewarding. In other words, people are people. Weather they're 10 miles away, or 100.

Son.
1, I don't know you. I don't know your mother. You didn't ask me, however this is public. And I've been seeing this all over my corners of the Internets. I have a codependent mother who will not respect my boundaries. I own my own house, and she lives with me. ~ Now, I could go right ahead and evict her. Or I could move out and rent my rooms out. However she's getting old and I have a sense of ethics. I may not like her, but I will take care of her because it's the right thing to do. ~ My Advice is, the quicker you accept the fact that you've been dealt a shitty deal, the quicker you can move on to making the best of the situation. I'm not trying to be mean, I feel for you, but that said you have to realize that she isn't going away anytime soon. Nor is she ever going to stop being pissy over this incident. In her eyes, it's probably not even the money, but your "selfishness". I am not judging you, but that's probably how it looks though her eyes. ~ she -may- very well be codependent, And I doubt there's anything you can do to change that. So, the only way to adapt, is to change your outlook on it.

Think of it this way. If the universe really was fair, that would mean you deserve every second of misery you've received so far :) ... When you look at it like that, things don't seem so bad. Trust me.

2, I'm an objective observer, and honestly your story doesn't quite track. I'm not going to hint at the parts that don't sound quite genuine to me. I may in fact be wrong. But if I did start hinting at the things that I see as a bit fishy, I could very well be giving you the tools to further tune your story to make it more believable. I will instead say this, there are two sides to every argument. Please make sure you're telling the truth, not just to the internets, but -to your self-. Everyone faces a moment. To deny it. To turn away and flee it, is to insult life. Examining your self, and asking "who am I", can be one of the most brutal, unpleasant, depressing things. But you will be a better person for it. ~ Honesty to yourself is more important than god, sex, friends, even happiness, because that is all fleeting. - It is your responsibility to not allow other people, to enable your bad habits, because if they care for you, they, will, provide, and they may provide so much that it hurts you. I have been there. I will talk to you about it, but I will not coddle you.

3, If you're really 21 like your profile says. You're an Adult. You can Fuck. You can Drink. You can own Pistols. And you can get a car. You can seek or deny medical attention. You can apply for a concealed carry permit. You can own pets. You can have a child. You can own your own goddamn house if you want to. You're free bromander, You can do whatever the fuck you want. ~~~~ You must also realize there are consequences. ~~~~ I know, it was shocking to me when I realized this. I was a little late to the party my self but when I did? Life suddenly got a lot less scary. I know it may "seem obvious". Some dickfuck might stand up and point at you, me, or any one of the other American child-adults out there, and go "LOL DUMBASS". Well fuck right off, some of us need a little more clues than others ;)

But the point is, YOU, HAVE, boundaries, and it is in fact, your right as a human being, to have boundaries. Your mother isn't helping you by taking your computer. She's not helping you to grow up by judging your friendships, and she's not helping you by invading your space and questioning every cent you spend. You in fact, have a right to the money you -earned-. You have the right to self determination and self realization. ~ If she can't accept this, then she needs to back off, and silently hate you while you move on with your life and become a happy, or miserable, but free person.


THAT, SAID, if you in fact did enter a -verbal contract- by saying you would "help out" with the family finances, It is in fact, your responsibility to -make good on what you've said you will do-. ~~~ She made plans, on what a 21 year old kid -said- he'd do. Ooops, she fucked up. But the onus is still on you. You in fact did enter into a verbal contract. An agreement. That you will give your money to help out the family. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Lets consider your options. Talk to your bank, talk to them about what sort of payments you can make to keep you in your house. Look into the government, there may be assistance programs to help you keep your house. THE ECONOMY DOES NOT WANT YOU TO FAIL. It in fact, wants you to be a comfortably debited consumer for the rest of your life. I am not trying to be mean, I am in fact trying to help you avoid some of the mistakes I've made, by being a mean bitch. ~ Here's one solution I find reasonable, taken ON GOOD FAITH, that your account of the story is in fact 100% true. (This is why being honest is important, people will do this for you. They'll do it once, that is the nature of trust.)

Plan:
A, Accept the fact that your money is gone. Mother, he fucked up, he probably doesn't hate you.... Yet. ~ And I'll just throw this out. It's the elephant in the room, and nobody wants to call it out. His gender identity doesn't give a fuck. It's an easy card to play to get support, but it doesn't work on me. I've got a vag, I've always known I've got a vag, and I'm comfortable with the fact that I've got a vag. I'm also a tactician and a strategist, and your plan of action, WILL NOT WORK. ~ Ethically speaking, making him feel miserable is wrong. There -is- such a thing as gender idenity disorder. There -is- such a thing as homosexuality, heterosexuality, and fucks-everything-sexuality. Blame NASA or something, but it's what he chooses to do. ~ The Furry fandom, is populated by a bunch of socially inept shut-ins. There's also a lot of responsible adults who're pretty fuckin cool. And then there's me, a responsible adult who's an uncool square as hell stick in the mud. ~ The fact of the matter remains, he's chosen to make friends with these people. And your view of my fandom, simply -is not- accurate. Nobody here cares that much, to secretly manipulate him. He made his own choices. Accept this.

B, Set some boundaries. Make them fair and reasonable. BOTH PARTIES, you need to approach with the mindset that you'll be mutually unhappy with the results. This is call compromise. He doesn't need someone hovering over him, judging him over the fact he jacks off to chicks with dicks, or whatever. Just like you don't need someone hovering over you, when you try to take a shit. ~ Some things are just personal. ~ That said, Son: you did make a mistake, and since you obviously have a reason to stay home instead of leave, you're GOING to have to jump though some hoops which seem dumb as shit. Deal with it. ~ Mother: Start small, and allow more freedom on both sides WHEN he proves that he can meet your requirements. You will catch more flies with honey, than vinegar. Give him a CHANCE to act like an adult, you may be surprised. Simply treating him like a six year old, will only make him act like a six year old. And most importantly, move on from the fact that the money is lost. Just focus on making more money right now.

C, If you can hammer something out with your bank. I fully recommend allowing him to make Payments. Using a PORTION of his money. Like it or not, humans need to feel happy once and a while. They need special shinies and treats, in order to remain balanced. ~ Some people kill themselves. Some people kill other people. And some people turn into narcissistic unethical fuckfaces with absolutely no empathy what soever. You very-well could make him resent sharing so much, that he in turn starts using people for the rest of his life. IF he works, he should be entitled to at least SOME reward for his effort. No, 2 cookies and a pencil eraser isn't the kind of reward I'm talking about either.

D, Investigate ANYTHING that can help you save money, or earn money. Like I said, uncle sam doesn't want yet another homless family. There may be food stamps. Health insurance. Anything, at all, that can help you in your pinch. YOU ARE NOT ABOVE ASKING, and there is NO SHAME, in asking, period. ................. As long as it's legal, don't fucking start selling crack arrite?

E, Slow and steady wins the race. Don't take shortcuts, and just accept that you're slogging though some serious shit in order to make it though the other side. I deal with a lot of poor people in my line of work. I choose to. And one thing that I've noticed, a lot of them simply cannot wait. I understand this, and I am compassionate. But to be purely objective and logical, a lot of the poor people I interact with are impulsive, and unable to restrain themselves, for what ever reason. ~ I'm not there to judge them.

Lastly to anyone else looking at this, I'm talking to them both, I'm not here to smooth feelings over or spread a bunch of nice-nice. That can be just as harmful as being crass and rude.
I have been though my own grave, painful situations. I've made my mistakes, and I'm not at all above admitting that I don't know everything. I am simply offering my view on things, just like you're offering yours. If I've offended anyone else, take it with a grain of salt. It's not a personal attack and it's not here to make you specifically lemon-ass'd. I hope that by showing some of my own biases I'm showing that I'm realistic, that I can avoid the label of white-knight, because unlike those folks, I genuinely would like to see a positive resolution from this. She has valid points; money was promised... it wasn't there. Her son MAY ACTUALLY, have a problem with compulsive spending, compulsive lying, becoming withdrawn into fantasy. But he'll have to come to terms with it on his own, or prove to her that he in fact DOESN"T have issues with this. I do not see mother as a monster. Nor do I see son as a monster, they're just people.