Father's Day Fer Me...
12 years ago
Most karmic quote: "Let me be that darkness in your world of light..."
... is yet another painful r'minder of what my childhood was like... an while I don't feel like doin' inta all the sordid details of what it was like growin' up without a father... I do still wanna b'lieve that while I can never forget what my life was while he was alive... an still ta this day keep tellin' m'self that I forgive him... I can NEVER forget what that time was like... but that I can an do think of the times in my life that I can't help feel that is some way... he came back ta watch over me ta help make up fer the times he wasn't there in that incarnation after his passing...
...so yes this 'holiday' is yet another bitterstweet family holiday that I both dred and yet try ta cherish... an hope that at least those of you who do have fathers who're actively supportive in yer lives... that'cha cherish them fer the precious jewels that they are!
...I've heard far too many tales of fathers who're not... wether they were neglectful... abusive... or taken way too soon ta nuture their children... So fer you who still have such caring an supportive fathers... I raise my glass ta you... may they continue ta be everythin' ya'd wanna grow up ta be like... *hugs m'furry family* {:)
*Hugs* Never forget though that you've definitely got me wanting the best for you. If you -were- my son, I'd never be more proud of you.
I r'member the last time I saw him alive... visitin' him in the hospital... an he didn't even know my name... of starin' at this sad, seemin'ly old man who my older siblings ta this day keep tryin' ta tell me that he was indeed a good man once an tryin' my best ta believe it... an then later on after he died... walkin' up ta his casket an needin' ta at least touch him... I brush a finger, tracin' his earlobe an r'member how cold it felt... an that back then.... I felt the sadness of his passin'... but it was only the sadness of how ya might feel at the death of any man... not someone who should have meant SO much more ta me than he did...
But I wanted to give you a hug because you are caring enough to be like a father. c: *blush* Am not a stud. x3 I'm just a regular ole horsey.
But I have sworn to never be like that, and whether through my furry family or any kids I may one day adopt, I want to be the best father I can be. *hugs tightly*