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The Robert to my Rosalind
12 years ago
⭐️ be rootin, be tootin, and by god be shootin ⭐️ Last night I stayed up far too late watching crap telly and some awful show about women competing to win the perfect wedding and shittons of plastic surgery. Barring the fact that these women didn't need plastic surgery, I was stunned that all these women cared about was looking good for their husbands and to have all eyes on them.
And their husbands LET THEM DO IT.
I got to thinking about what would make a marriage, what makes a relationship and what makes a wedding all special. Matrimony has never really appealed to me, as it seems to cross most children of divorced parents as unnecessary pain. I don't like the idea of marrying someone, promising them forever when I know full well that people change and that forever is a very long time. No one can promise that realistically, and I always find the people who honestly believe it to be a little.... scarily optimistic.
I realized that I can only promise as long as I can. I'm not a traditionalist by any means, and actually have a bad habit of not living by labels at all, so it doesn't bother me to say that I doubt I'll ever be legally married. Too much paperwork...
However, I know of one person who I doubt will ever leave my life. We've been nigh inseparable for the five years that we've known each other. Five years... It feels strange to say that sometimes.
And I know we did break up, but not for lack of love. The love never went away... It was more that we realized that our relationship doesn't fit a simple name. nothing changed when we broke up, and that was both confirmation that we weren't 'dating' but also confirmation that we'd never lose what we are.
Foff is my best friend. We talk every day and I always feel wrong when I go a day without speaking to him. I remember last year when I went to the coast and had no internet and no phone signal on my cell. We scheduled for him to call on the landline where we'd talk for an hour or more... I'd write notes to him in my sketchbook and we were generally unhappy.
The thing is, we're past 'obsession' new relationship status by a longshot. Each of us has seen the other in our worst, often brought on by the other's words or actions. I won't pretend we don't have our own problems and that we haven't wounded each other deeply... But that in itself is a sign.
The pain that we can leave on eachother is only as deep as it is because of how much we care for each other. There is a direct correlation.
I'll tell you this much. For people I don't like I don't really get hurt by them anymore. The opinion of the ones you love always stings worse.
So after five years... After 300 miles of distance and lots of growing up (hell, I was 15 when we met!!) I still love that sunnavabitch~
He's the ent to my hobbit, the peas to my carrots, the Robert to my Rosalind. If it's not love to need that goodnight or to need to cuddle the plush he gave me to give surrogate hugs (that I shamelessly took with me on this trip no matter my age and maturity XD) in order to sleep, I really don't know what is.
I know that a year back I was deeply wounded by an ex-friend of mine who betrayed my boundaries and my trust. I felt like I had to pull a large wall between my emotions and my logic to live safely and not be stabbed like that again. I know that it hurt Foff to see me slowly pull away from the things I used to love like being cuddled and petted and kissed. Some of that distance created by that person's words and actions actually caused our division in January. I was so scared to trust anyone that I started to lose my trust in Foff. He stuck with me, helped me slowly through things and even guided me through another relationship to get back on my feet. He didn't have to do that, and that relationship eventually ended because I realized I hadn't lost that love for Foff.
He never had to stick by me. he never really pleaded to be back together. He was probably stronger than I was... But I now feel like I am growing strong too. That healing process took a long time and I can say I'm on the road to recovery and to letting my walls back down. I can actually feel myself wanting to love again.
So, after this long sappy story all I have left to say is
I (-∞,3) you, papa bear~ Like the gravitational constant, and I hope the future is kind to us both because I can't imagine a future without you.
And their husbands LET THEM DO IT.
I got to thinking about what would make a marriage, what makes a relationship and what makes a wedding all special. Matrimony has never really appealed to me, as it seems to cross most children of divorced parents as unnecessary pain. I don't like the idea of marrying someone, promising them forever when I know full well that people change and that forever is a very long time. No one can promise that realistically, and I always find the people who honestly believe it to be a little.... scarily optimistic.
I realized that I can only promise as long as I can. I'm not a traditionalist by any means, and actually have a bad habit of not living by labels at all, so it doesn't bother me to say that I doubt I'll ever be legally married. Too much paperwork...
However, I know of one person who I doubt will ever leave my life. We've been nigh inseparable for the five years that we've known each other. Five years... It feels strange to say that sometimes.
And I know we did break up, but not for lack of love. The love never went away... It was more that we realized that our relationship doesn't fit a simple name. nothing changed when we broke up, and that was both confirmation that we weren't 'dating' but also confirmation that we'd never lose what we are.
Foff is my best friend. We talk every day and I always feel wrong when I go a day without speaking to him. I remember last year when I went to the coast and had no internet and no phone signal on my cell. We scheduled for him to call on the landline where we'd talk for an hour or more... I'd write notes to him in my sketchbook and we were generally unhappy.
The thing is, we're past 'obsession' new relationship status by a longshot. Each of us has seen the other in our worst, often brought on by the other's words or actions. I won't pretend we don't have our own problems and that we haven't wounded each other deeply... But that in itself is a sign.
The pain that we can leave on eachother is only as deep as it is because of how much we care for each other. There is a direct correlation.
I'll tell you this much. For people I don't like I don't really get hurt by them anymore. The opinion of the ones you love always stings worse.
So after five years... After 300 miles of distance and lots of growing up (hell, I was 15 when we met!!) I still love that sunnavabitch~
He's the ent to my hobbit, the peas to my carrots, the Robert to my Rosalind. If it's not love to need that goodnight or to need to cuddle the plush he gave me to give surrogate hugs (that I shamelessly took with me on this trip no matter my age and maturity XD) in order to sleep, I really don't know what is.
I know that a year back I was deeply wounded by an ex-friend of mine who betrayed my boundaries and my trust. I felt like I had to pull a large wall between my emotions and my logic to live safely and not be stabbed like that again. I know that it hurt Foff to see me slowly pull away from the things I used to love like being cuddled and petted and kissed. Some of that distance created by that person's words and actions actually caused our division in January. I was so scared to trust anyone that I started to lose my trust in Foff. He stuck with me, helped me slowly through things and even guided me through another relationship to get back on my feet. He didn't have to do that, and that relationship eventually ended because I realized I hadn't lost that love for Foff.
He never had to stick by me. he never really pleaded to be back together. He was probably stronger than I was... But I now feel like I am growing strong too. That healing process took a long time and I can say I'm on the road to recovery and to letting my walls back down. I can actually feel myself wanting to love again.
So, after this long sappy story all I have left to say is
I (-∞,3) you, papa bear~ Like the gravitational constant, and I hope the future is kind to us both because I can't imagine a future without you.
Anyway, that's a sweet bromance you have there
As for me, I've felt love before. It was the greatest feeling I have ever had. And it was devastating when it ended. I'm basically the kind of person looking for the other piece of his 2p puzzle. Even if I never find them, I wont go "out" until I know my job is done. That all the people I know are content in the very least. And the only evidence I have seen of love is my parents and grandparents. My grandparents argue and such, but have been together for more then 50 years. My folks have been on thin lines before and once my old man walked out on us (just walked out to the car for a bit with his bags to think is all), but despite all that and despite them being apart for long amounts of time...they are still together and love each other dearly. Love is, what it is.
But I don't need a marriage to feel love or to feel like I have someone's vow to love me back~ To me, marriage is more like forcing someone to stay with you even if one day they don't want to. It's ownership.
I never want to be so arrogant as to believe that I can slack off on love and still be able to keep someone by my side~ I've seen it happen too many times and I think NOT having the marriage makes it sweeter that you've been together.
Kinda like 'you should love your partner EVERY day, not just on v-day'. -w-
Marriage for love is a very VERY recent invention. Marriage was far more of a business proposition and an exchange of security and money for a family's security.
Mostly, I went into a long period of doubt where I wondered if I had caused things to happen and if it was my fault things happened how they did.
Finally, had to say that while it wasn't my fault that my ex friend was sick, I had to take some responsibility for it and pull myself up. Sadly, the recovery made me really bitter at times... kinda like a thick oyster shell around a pearl. I had trouble letting anyone get that close again.
That was just...the cutest thing.
You're write so sweet Sal, it makes everything you say perfect.
I think he's gonna melt when he reads it too
oh, and Grats, BTW.
BUT
They have to realize at the moment they make that promise, what they're REALLY promising to do is work hard, bust ass, and focus on making the relationship work. It's HARD to have a long relationship, things change, life causes all kinds of complications and stress. Making that promise is a promise that during all the messy shit life has to throw at you, you will make every effort to communicate, compromise, understand, share, learn, and love.
Too many people make the promise empty by not understanding what they're actually promising.
But I feel people can make that promise without being legally bound to keep it, don't you think? c:
But sometimes the legal paper can make things like rearing kids, inheritance, power of attorney, estates, medical needs, etc, easier to deal with.