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PSA about communication etiquette
12 years ago
Hello my subjects,
I wanted to do a little PSA about communication etiquette. Like... When is it the 'right time' to contact someone, and over what medium?
When considering a communication medium, you should consider the content of your message. Is it important or just smalltalk? Is it time-sensitive, or can it wait? Will it be a long discourse like a letter, or a conversation like over-the-phone?
These have to do with the synchronicity of the conversation. The more synchronous a communication media is, the more interrupt-driven it is. The more interrupt-driven it is, the more inconvenient it is to the recipient. They might be right in the middle of something, for example, but having their attention makes it easier to have back & forth conversation. Asynchronous communications are the opposite. The recipient chooses when to receive the communication, so it is less inconvenient, but its not easy to have a conversation.
The most synchronous would be a phone conversation. You call, the phone rings, the recipient has to stop what they're doing and pick it up. Its difficult to have a phone conversation and perform many other tasks, so you basically have their undivided attention. You should consider if your message is valuable enough to interrupt your recipient and prevent them from doing what they otherwise would be doing. In most-cases, phone should be reserved for time-sensitive high-importance communications.
The least synchronous would be like USPS snail-mail. It could take several days, and the format of the letter tends to be a long monologue requiring no conversation. The recipient opens and reads the letter at their leisure, so there is no interrupt. This is ideal for lengthy messages that aren't particularly time-sensitive.
Everything else falls in-between. Texting is more synchronous and is like a conversation and will buzz the phone to interrupt the recipient, but it doesn't require them to drop what they're doing right away. Email is more asynchronous and is like snail-mail. IM is somewhere in the middle. IM is synchronous because the user has to actively be there and you typically expect a response, but asynchronous in that they can get up and get a soda from the fridge or even have multiple conversations at once... possibly even play a video game or watch TV as they chat on the side.
Now to get to the true-purpose of this journal...
I get a lot of messages from fans over FA-Notes that are attempts at smalltalk, saying "Hey" or "What's up?" or "How was your day?" Notes are the FA equivalent of email, which is the digital equivalent of snail-mail. Its extremely asynchronous, and not a good medium for smalltalk. Most people wouldn't send a USPS letter saying "Heya". Conversations could take months in this format.
... so please don't send smalltalk over notes. At least not to me.
Now, some furs will say "but I want to chat with you, and you don't post your IM!" But they do not stop and consider that I might be very busy foxy, and do not post my IM because I don't want unknown strangers being able to send me an interrupt for smalltalk. (I am very busy. World domination and stuff tends to put a drain on one's time!) I am perfectly willing to chat with fans provided that they have something to say. So in notes, I ask one question: what do you want to chat about? If they can't answer this simple question, our future conversations will be:
"Hey"
"Hi"
"Hows it going?"
"Ok. U?"
"Gud"
...
...
...
(2 hours later both log off)
Once again:
... so if I don't give you my IM, its not because I hate you or am being rude. I'm just protecting myself against conversations that don't go anywhere, because I really don't have time for that. If you have a topic that excites me and you want to talk about it, then sure I'll give you my IM.
Anyway, that's my thought / PSA for the week.
Thanks for reading!
~Etheras
I wanted to do a little PSA about communication etiquette. Like... When is it the 'right time' to contact someone, and over what medium?
When considering a communication medium, you should consider the content of your message. Is it important or just smalltalk? Is it time-sensitive, or can it wait? Will it be a long discourse like a letter, or a conversation like over-the-phone?
These have to do with the synchronicity of the conversation. The more synchronous a communication media is, the more interrupt-driven it is. The more interrupt-driven it is, the more inconvenient it is to the recipient. They might be right in the middle of something, for example, but having their attention makes it easier to have back & forth conversation. Asynchronous communications are the opposite. The recipient chooses when to receive the communication, so it is less inconvenient, but its not easy to have a conversation.
The most synchronous would be a phone conversation. You call, the phone rings, the recipient has to stop what they're doing and pick it up. Its difficult to have a phone conversation and perform many other tasks, so you basically have their undivided attention. You should consider if your message is valuable enough to interrupt your recipient and prevent them from doing what they otherwise would be doing. In most-cases, phone should be reserved for time-sensitive high-importance communications.
The least synchronous would be like USPS snail-mail. It could take several days, and the format of the letter tends to be a long monologue requiring no conversation. The recipient opens and reads the letter at their leisure, so there is no interrupt. This is ideal for lengthy messages that aren't particularly time-sensitive.
Everything else falls in-between. Texting is more synchronous and is like a conversation and will buzz the phone to interrupt the recipient, but it doesn't require them to drop what they're doing right away. Email is more asynchronous and is like snail-mail. IM is somewhere in the middle. IM is synchronous because the user has to actively be there and you typically expect a response, but asynchronous in that they can get up and get a soda from the fridge or even have multiple conversations at once... possibly even play a video game or watch TV as they chat on the side.
Now to get to the true-purpose of this journal...
I get a lot of messages from fans over FA-Notes that are attempts at smalltalk, saying "Hey" or "What's up?" or "How was your day?" Notes are the FA equivalent of email, which is the digital equivalent of snail-mail. Its extremely asynchronous, and not a good medium for smalltalk. Most people wouldn't send a USPS letter saying "Heya". Conversations could take months in this format.
... so please don't send smalltalk over notes. At least not to me.
Now, some furs will say "but I want to chat with you, and you don't post your IM!" But they do not stop and consider that I might be very busy foxy, and do not post my IM because I don't want unknown strangers being able to send me an interrupt for smalltalk. (I am very busy. World domination and stuff tends to put a drain on one's time!) I am perfectly willing to chat with fans provided that they have something to say. So in notes, I ask one question: what do you want to chat about? If they can't answer this simple question, our future conversations will be:
"Hey"
"Hi"
"Hows it going?"
"Ok. U?"
"Gud"
...
...
...
(2 hours later both log off)
Once again:
... so if I don't give you my IM, its not because I hate you or am being rude. I'm just protecting myself against conversations that don't go anywhere, because I really don't have time for that. If you have a topic that excites me and you want to talk about it, then sure I'll give you my IM.
Anyway, that's my thought / PSA for the week.
Thanks for reading!
~Etheras
Of course I'm more prone to disposing of those that bore me or talk way too much about irrelevant subjects. Then of course the hate that follows through but that's just mere redundancy added to my backed up logs. Have to agree with you, being a ruler is a bitch.
Like... ANYTHING to talk about.
(Being a ruler is also being long C8)
I like the points you use in this and I suppose there's no harm in putting ones foot down when it comes to things like this. I know some folks will see this as someone being an elitist and trying to shun people but that's just not the case. We all value our time after all.
( )
It clearly states you do not like small talk on notes. And that's understandable because notes should be for more important messages for things such as commissions or sending personal IM details to others or perhaps personal messages between friends.
One word notes shouldn't be used when you're sending it to someone who is not really familiar with you, get what I mean?
Also, when you IM of course you have to talk about something. I try my best to keep a convo going but not the greatest at it XD
It does make me worry a bit how many folks have legitimate reasons to contact me but are afraid to because they think it will be considered "small talk"