FA+
Shop
Curse You Bears!!! *whimpers*
12 years ago
Most karmic quote: "Let me be that darkness in your world of light..."
Well as some of ya may've already read from m'last journal... I did a self-readin' with one'a m'tarot decks... an while I did it with both the generalized an specific intents in both heart an mind... I was not quite so forthcomin' with my own personal reasons fer doin' it in the first place...
...well... *shuffles nervously* ...an this is me layin' a big chunk'a personal feelin's out there fer fer ya all ta possibly laugh at an trample on... I been havin' some rather... strong attractions towards bears lately... an Goddess knows I've made no secret about it from past stories an art an such...
...an... well... after bein' alone fer so long I kinda resigned m'self that hell there ain't ever gonna be anybody out there fer me so m'finally content ta let my desires be solely that... images an fantasies... often masked by erotic humor ta help me console m'self that that's all it'll ever be.
...but also there's been interaction with various bears that I've had that've been (at least seemingly ta me at the time) would never be nothin' more than platonic friendships... but some time ago... one particular bear has been showin' me intrest... an has let me know that he'd been intrested fer quite some time but was too shy ta come foward...
...well recently he has come foward an we been gettin rather cuddlesome t'gether... an now it scares me 'cause'a how strongly m'feelin' about'im!
I mean I been sick here these past couple days thinkin' it was probably jus' me comin' down with a cold again or somethin'... an maybe I AM still sick witha fever... but I've already been sufferin' many restless nights with little ta no sleep... fer several other reasons aside but mostly cause (as I'd mentioned in past journals) that m'feelin' hyper sexually sensetive! I mean I literally can barely sleep cause even the slightest sensations even anywhere near my groin causes me ta spasm! Sometimes the only brief relief I can give m'self it ta turn over an lay face-down with m'ass up an legs spread so nothin' touches me there until the sensation passes...
...well now even that position doesn't spare me cause now whenever I get inta that position (on top of any other position) my infernal erotic fantasies keep invadin' m'mind about bein' ... sodomized by a bear! DAMMIT! Have I got bears SO much on m'mind (especially the one bear in particular) that it won't let me get ANY sleep?!
...an this one bear in particular... has he got me so frightened an insecure in both/either bein' with him or not bein' with him that he can totally disrupt m'life with the mere thoughts an longin's fer him? My insecurities an past lovelife failures an instincts keep growlin' at me that it's probably best ta end it now b'fore we hurt ourselves... or at least try an keep a distance an reasonably take things at a much slower pace so I can have time ta adjust ta things...
...but while I get too nervous around'im an wind up needin' ta make excuses ta seperate from'im cause every lil' thing he does ta me makes me spasm erotically... it drives me even more insane (an here I'd thought that was impossible) ta be apart from him when all my fevered brain does is come up with even more graphically detailed images of what I'd love fer him ta do ta me every time he's around!
I can hardly keep m'paws off'im when he's around... m'own werewolf nature keeps goadin' me on... an yet it makes me tuck tail an run at the intensity of my desire an where it may lead me... an yet bein' apart from'im is gettin' steadily more agonizin'!
...goddammit I been away from 'love' too long an all my past 'relationships' had been all failures! It already brings me sorrow worryin' 'bout how things may go either way... should I jus' resolve m'self ta make a clean break from it now... try an r'main friends however painful it may be in tryin' ta spare us both any future pain? Or do I jus' say fuck it all an lock us both up away in a cave somewhere an beg an plead with him ta ravage me ta his heart's content... as many times as he desires an then beg him ta kill me cause I know leavin' me is more of a torture fer me?
...Is this love??? Cause I ain't felt this way in a LONG time an I gotta tell ya it's fuckin' suckin' BIGtime! At least alone by m'self I knew the ground m'aws tread on but this has got me walkin' on eggshells here folks an it's scarin' the holy hell outta me! I think I need a REALLY strong cocktail right about now! *whimpers* {:P
I cant say I relate, cause my sex drive IRL is pretty much dead and barely been active, ever. and i'm into my late 30's now. *shrug*
Love lost is something that you might have to deal with in the future but to have never even attempted to discover the joy that it may bring to the two of you would be an opportunity for happiness lost and that's something that you may kick yourself for. Let things take their course naturally and if its meant to be, it will be. Don't let yourself be frightened away by the possibility of someone stealing your heart or even breaking your heart. Reach out to him, paw extended and say to him, lets try, lets feel together and lets allow this romance to blossom. Love is marvelous and its not only physical but emotional and has many other facets. Make sure that you can challenge each other mentally as well as physically and compromise when there is no hope of resolving an issue in any other way. Love is never going to bed angry with one another. Put your worries away at the end of the day and wake up in each others paws, happy!
Best of luck to both of you :3
Be open and honest with him.
Make sure that the two of you know what's at stake.
IF nothing else, the two of you can potentially become significant fuck buddies, and if it's infatuation can stay at that point-
But that is only if you two keep an open level of communication! Lay your thoughts on the table, let him know your concerns, and listen to his. If you two can plan out a responsible relationship, sex or no, then I think there's nothing stopping you two from doing whatever you want.
Just don't be too rash- An impulsive pounce leads to an empty stomach when seeking prey.
Best of luck!
"You only live one, live learn lust and enjoy."
As i've been told Life's a banquet and some poor sucker is starving
Good comes with bad, but dont let the bad make ya afraid of the good
if you aint felt this way in years, asorb it like a sponge take what you can and run with it. Life aint living if yer spending everything wondering
and if all else fails i'd beg for giant werewolves, we all know the old dogs beat the pants off this new generation of werewolves.
I'd help the older dog burry his bone, way more classy than new age faggots.
Love like you've never been hurt.
Go out in public like you're wearing pants.
Don't assume you're damaged goods because you've had bad relationships. If it feels right, try it.
The reading now makes sense, just coz you weren,t forthcoming with your feelings who ever guided the cards knew everything.
From what you said this relationship is very one sided. Unless it becomes balanced it will implode.
Write down your feelings and desires for this relationship, plus the negatives of what your feeling. Listen to your real innervoice and not your insecurities. Tell or give your partner what you wrote.
*pauses takes draw on cigar, ash falls off burns leg fur* ow stop distracting me someone!
If receptive then hopefully balance can happen, these feelings your having of being driven nuts and or erotic fantasies may lessen, despite how much you want them. They will be replaced with actual thing hopefully.
Mourn the lose of the fantasies but celebrate the actuality of your relationship.
*another draw, now off to find ashtray*