-claps- Amen.

amen

*TOAST*

to me slut is just a word without meaning & is disgraceful & disrespectful

Are you male?
If so, then it's good that you recognize the word as disgraceful and disrespectful but as a female you'd fine that it does have meaning.
Being called a slut is intended to make you feel bad about enjoying sex.
You heard me right.
On top of that it is entirely disrespectful and disgraceful and ugly, but its meaning is to shame women out of enjoying themselves or having sex with multiple partners or even just looking sexy.

i am a male but nobody should ever be called a word such as that no matter what they've done. people should learn that every wrong you do to others will come back & hurt you. no matter who the person is they should be treated with care & respect.

Though if you see my BDSM commissions, I do have words like slut, whore, cumdumpster, and fag written on my body.

Though I don't see why it's so shameful for a woman to be "slutty" TBH, speaking as a guy who, believe it or not, actually is into women. I never really understood it.

BDSM is an entirely different ballfield. As someone in the bdsm community I can attest that the fantasy of that world is almost a roleplaying for coping with the real world.
I could handle being called a slut in scene, but we're talking about society in the norm.

I know.
Still, I don't get why being sexually promiscuous is a bad thing. Don't guys want sex?

It's more that when girls want sex because they enjoy sex it's seen as improper behavior.
I promise you that a woman who sleeps with multiple partners is going to be pinned with 'she has stds' 'she isn't safe' 'she's gonna get pregnant' 'she's a slut' 'she just loves dick' or any other disrespectful things. For the most case (not always) a man who enjoys sex is 'a stud', 'knows what he's doing' or any other beneficial comments.

But wouldn't they want a girl with experience? And isn't it generally considered bad form for a guy not to be able to pleasure a woman?

Misogyny is weird.

It's a vicious cycle.

Society teaches a woman that she can be 'used up'. The entire concept of virginity, the hymen (Which doesn't break like you'd think!!) and 'losing' virtue... hell, even the idea the the vagina can become 'loose' (bullshit), teach that a girl should minimize her sexual usage.
Maybe that view will help you get why some men often don't want an experienced girl. they want one who will sit there and take their cock and be impressed because they don't know any better. -n-

Now it makes sense to me. But if they minimize their sexual usage, they'll be accused of being prudes.

If you're female, you can't win no matter what.

Welcome to the system.
another one I had to deal with lately -n-
if you dress too nicely you're asking for harrassment. If you don't you're a tomboy, a lesbian, 'ugly' or just not feminine.

Amen!

In actuality, the word I hate the most that's used against women is cunt.

"Slaps self with giant fish"

I hated that word for the longest time but I've started to reclaim it.
I don't really like the word pussy. The vulva is not a cat. :T
And then you get into REALLY offensive words like quim, muff, roast beef sandwich, hairy clam.
The list goes on and on.

Quim?

I've never heard this one before.

It's European, but still kinda ech.

Perhaps it's cultrual, but 'quim' doesn't sound very offensive to me. Cunt, sure (I hate reading it in an erotic story). Twat and Snatch also sound...coarse. But quim and pussy to me sound the 'gentler' euphemisms for vulva to use; nice round syllables and both are known synonyms. Just MHO.

Hear hear, sister. I've been angry at the society's unspoken norms of sex for a long time.

I think the only way to cure it is to not confuse sexual freedom with sexual immaturity. FA has a lot of both, but sometimes I feel that even the sexually free use these norms.
For instance, I almost never see women in pics on FA playing with their clits, smiling, laughing (happens a lot when you feel good!) or masturbating with anything besides a giant dildo.
There's more to sex than piece A into slot B but from looking at FA porn all I see is girls in pain being rammed by giant dicks.

huh, come to think of it, I'd never notice that before. I knew FA was a place of diverse fetishes, but yeah, you're right, I don't see a lot of 'gentler' sexual actions, like body-worshipping (Not just licking her out or foot-worshippers) Yeah, it's pretty angering. I often have to force myself to take breaks away from my laptop, because no-matter where I look on the internet, I get angered by sexual injustice. :(

As a girl with a friendship group of boys, I practically act as alpha, because I won't take crap from my own friends, and I scold them for sexist remarks.

As a bisexual girl in a committed relationship with a girl, EVERY boy that learns of my situation, thinks he's automatically entitled to a threesome with me and my girlfriend. Literally, it's the first thing they ask when I try to explain to people my orientation. By then my blood's boiling and I would like to help myself to a free nutshot of JUSTICE when no-one's looking.

Guh, the threesome thing is horrible.
As a bisexual genderbent I can kinda confirm it's a shit place to be. I've almost taken to calling myself homoflexible so men will stop sending me shit.

But as for gentler sex (I like that phrase~), that's why my favorite art will always be the ones where the girl is actually obviously enjoying herself with or without another person.
Such as http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10958184/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10902181/


Man, this makes me realize though how much more of this kinda stuff I want to draw. c:

Gablaaah it makes me angry and upset, and it makes my girlfriend uber-wierded out. >.<
Yeah, it's really not fair that people have to explain themselves. :(

Haha, I agree, after-all, the ladies' orificies are temples to be worshipped, and consensual sex should be the only sex, so she should be enjoying herself! X3
Oh! The X-Box controller one, I like that! That's clever, because they vibrate, don't they? ^^ So that's just perfect for miss clit. XD But I bet you got plenty of those dumb slut-shaming/ 'fake gamer-girl?!!£S' comments that make me so darn angry..... *clenches fists*
Wow, I'm gonna have to call it a night. High blood pressure, high cholesterol, y'know? Anger at fighting my lovely female-cause is gonna give me a damn heart-attack one of these days. XD
So, goodnight, and I hope you do continue to draw happy women being treated as they should. :3 A pleasure rage-ranting with you! ^^ *huggles*

Yet entirely accepted and even defended in society, unfortunately.

In mainstream reputable sources like The New York Times or just misogyny "men's rights" sites that are totally irrelevant to reality?
Like with Todd Akin, he made that comment about "legitimate rape" and now he's a total pariah, forever known as "that guy who made a comment about rape being legitimate."

You don't wanna know how much I flipped after reading about the legitimate rape bullshit.


I think I pretty much woke the neighbors with my angry ranting. XD

And in the real world (as opposed to online where the lack of consequences allows the bigots to come out of the woodwork and circle jerk each other) it's likely that a public figure will face dire consequences for this. Like CNN did when they tried to make us sympathize with the Steubenville rapists. They got serious shit for that. Online, they'd have a mob of misogynists to "protect" them.

Ehh, I'm not talking public figure. I'm talking about the general asshole in a group of teenagers laughing about how she was sayin' no but she was joking and really meant yes. Or how that asshole convinced their toy to have sex with them, even though they weren't sure they were ready.
How, within that group of a-hole teenagers, it's entirely accepted, laughed about. How women swoon a little while they listen, giggle and blush as though it's a nice thing. Because. Y'know. That's what they do. It wasn't them, right? Why should it matter to them besides being something to laugh about.
People's peers, classmates.. Support that kind of behavior.

To be clear, I'm not upset with you, I just despise that this happens and feel it needs to be known that it does, indeed, happen.

Actually, many people who rape (people, not men exclusively) are NOT fucked up.
Yes, you CAN teach principles and respect and boundaries.

I wouldn't assume that every rapist is mentally ill. Monsters are raised, not born.

I want you to find me a case of this happening. Not a 'I know this guy' but a real documented case.

I think it's also that people don't know what consent is, like they won't know that having sex with a girl who's passed out is bad or something.

Consent is a 'yes', not the absence of a 'no'.

That's what I'm saying.

You know that Doug comic that's been going round the net? http://imageshack.us/photo/my-image.....031343ux0.gif/
That pretty much sums it up.

what in the hey XD

I think words (any word!) is bad if used in a derogatory context. I don't think it's the actual words themselves that are the cause, but the person saying them and using them in a bad way. It's not the gun it's the person holding it.

I knew someone would bring this up.
A part of that is right, but a part of it just isn't.

We can talk about not using a word until the cows come home but the word does still have power when we say it. I don't like the N-word. I just don't. It doesn't matter what context I intend (Say reading Tom Sawyer aloud), I still don't want to say it because it has power beyond my intentions.
I think slut has the beginnings of this power.

Some people don't always see eye to eye on that. But y'know, there isn't any shame in feeling the way you do. But yes. There is untold power in a lot of things. Even your actions - which might seem harmless to you - could be incredibly offensive to another. It's all in the way an individual views things.

Something I had to learn recently; you can't make everyone happy and that's okay.
I accidentally offended someone who I had no intention of offending. Of course, they turned out to be a shit-stirrer so it escalated quickly. o^o;

Yeah. That happens.

Love this.

I met a guy who found it was okay for him to have multiple partners, but would sit there and tell me how disgusting it was for this girl he knew to do the same exact thing. And refused to see how it was the same exact thing when I brought it up.

I've also been told not to call people 'cunts' all while they were calling me an asshole and a dick and every other name in the book. Oh, but don't say 'cunt'. It's bad.

All of this journal...I just wanna hug it.

Yuuuuup. Evolution-wise, it makes sense that men are encouraged to have multiple partners (not having to be pregnant for 9 months sure helps -n- ), but this is 2013. We need to get over our monkey-brain sexual norms.

And I understand. I started trying to take that word back because I didn't like that it was okay to say 'stop being a dick' to someone but 'stop being a cunt' would get gasps.
between you and me, cunts are tougher than dicks anyway. No dick could take a pounding and squeeze out a baby and live to tell the tale. ;D

xD Exactly!

I dunno what childbirths you've seen, but to say it "sneezes" the baby out is a bit misleading! It's more of a slow push, sneezes are much more violent, and would probably end with child-shaped splats on the walls V:

[End sill statement]

Silly**

I said squeezes. reread. XD

but that image is really hilarious.

Oh, so you did! Allergy season has led me to see the word of my affliction in places it is not present, I fear D:

*nods*

Oh goodness, I adore this journal. Everything stated is so respectful to people, regardless of gender. So glad to know people are saying this. It needs said.
I also don't believe promiscuity-words are limited to one gender. xD
Generally, an individual's choices in their sex-lives are theirs. The only time it should matter to anyone else is if they intend to become involved.
Not even going to get started on rape, though. I start ranting and get reeeeal angry.
Thanks for saying this.

I should have also pointed out that I'm tired of people acting like men can't be raped. That one drives me nuts... That or some guys feeling pressured to have sex with women they don't want to by society or their friends.
I think if we stopped treating sex like the end-all, be-all of existence we'd all be happier.
and maybe less disappointed. XD

Agh, yes. Yes yes yes. So very possible. All sorts of terrible things are possible.. It riles me up when people try to argue men can't be raped. ;Shaking head;
Sex is such a taboo in everyday life! I dunno about other countries so much, but Americans are so terribly squeamish about it. So much denial, so much brushing things under the rug.
It ain't a big deal. Every living thing reproduces one way or another. And Humans aren't even the only ones whom do it recreationally..-
I always start rambling about this stuff. Essentially, sex is such a big deal because that's what people make it.

welcome to the biggest industry in mankind since sliced bread. Sex is everywhere. If you think about it, almost every product can be sold with it, every song could be about it, and it's a fucking miracle if you go a day without thinking about it. :I
Of course sex isn't BAD! But from looking at how we handle sexual predation cases and immediately say 'if there were less sex around' rather than 'if there were more GOOD sexual undertones around', you can tell that we want to deny ourselves something impossible to deny. Then it just leaks out in more odd and aggressive forms.
Hell, look at a church sometime. That's what you call sexual repression at its best. Don't you wonder why the steeple looks like a giant dick?

That second bit kind of speaks to me, in a much more shameful way, about being pressured into doing something because it's right and "it will make you feel better".

You have no idea

How much I hate being touched now.

I actually do have an idea.
I find it difficult to be touched too. -virtual hug- It's hard to explain that you literally feel like you're being crushed and crowded through light touches after losing your trust.

I feel that in the next few generations this outlook will weed itself out, what with women leaving gender roles in the dust.
But yes, feminism is not exclusively about women, despite the name. It's less about women being treated better and more about everyone being treated equally.

sadly so. You might notice that most of the people in charge of our lives are two generations back.

this is why change takes so long.

I agree entirely with the journal but I'm sorry, your avatar makes it hard to read with a straight face, it's such a mismatch

whatchoo talking bout. like you've never read the great bubbly social wrath of Sir Salfish.

http://youtu.be/JjuzxiuIbjs

I don't have the slightest idea how to respond to that.

http://youtu.be/QytfpesdBfA

I don't believe it's murder if the creation of life was against the will of the person who now has to carry it to term.
I'd rather every life be cherished and loved and I'm certainly not pro-death, but I believe that every woman should be able to choose whether she's in a place to care for a child that will grow into a person. Some women don't ask for that choice (and don't want to make it) but are in situations where that child will NOT get the love and opportunity it deserves.

I also don't believe that other people that are outside of that woman's life should have any influence at all in her choice. It's not your burden to bear, nor your decision to make.

And what if the birth control fails. I'm on something with a 99.9 success rate and there are still cases of failure.
What if the father jumps town and you never hear from them again.
What if the woman is a high school student.
What if the father is related to her.

I respect your stance on not wanting to have an abortion yourself. That is your right. Believe me when I say that part of being pro-choice is that I am fully comfortable with your choice to keep your baby even should these situations occur. However, I want you to think about the fact that being pro-life actually is anti-choice for every woman, no matter her background, and no person big or small, religious or not, should have any say in someone else's body the way the pro-life laws support.

Maybe you should think about why you feel entitled to play god in someone else's life.

I feel like your view is extremely sheltered.
I know I can't change it because nothing but experience can change this view and I wouldn't wish this experience on anyone.


Let me tell you a true story.

My mother was a rape victim multiple times throughout her life. Her father raped her. Her first husband raped her. Later in life her boss raped her.
I was an intentional child but if my mother had not had an abortion earlier in life I would not have existed. I have an unknown sibling who died and I know the pain is horrible for her, more than it will ever be for that child.
Despite that, I know my mother would probably not be alive, let alone happy, should that child have been brought to term. She would have stayed in an abusive relationship and eventually abandoned. She'd still be on food stamps without a friendly relative to lean on.

In my own personal experience I had someone I thoroughly trusted lie to me when it came to sex. Thankfully nothing came from it, but the thought of pregnancy is my biggest fear in the world.
Do you want to know why?

Because I don't WANT to have to abort a child. No one does. It is the most chilling and guilty and horrible feeling to know that you might be carrying a baby that you cannot care for.
So when people come along and say that there are no good reasons, that you just shouldn't have sex unless you're monogomous, no matter the circumstances, it leaves me a feeling that you do not understand the first thing about what you preach.

I didn't ask to have a womb. I actually don't want it. I have a 3 year birth control implant in my arm so if I AM raped I don't have to have an abortion because it's the worst trauma in the world to me.

I STILL believe it's a choice that should be allowed everyone.

If you don't want an abortion, don't get one, but do not put your foot into someone else's door and say you know what's best for their situation without knowing it. THAT is an extremely selfish thing to do, and an extremely childish and naive viewpoint of a just world.

Good day, ma'am.

Wow.



thanks for calling my mom a murderer.
Where the hell did you learn your manners?

You know what, no.
In a peaceful debate that was way over the fucking line.
How fucking dare you.

Wow, the cowardly bitch hid all her messages. Ho couldn't take the heat, looks like, LOL.

I also flat-out blocked her from responding because she's tried to argue me on this before.
I'm fine with a calm argument but there's a point (say when you start throwing words like 'murderer' around so lightly) that I don't want to continue. If I wanted to talk to someone with that amount of brain power I'd have a conversation with a floppy-disc.

That being said, yes she's full of total horseshit.
I still don't understand how 'just because I don't like it' become justification for restriction of someone else's rights. The same happens to the gay community, the trans community, or hell... we see this shit in discrimination against muslims.
Here's the huge thing about america; it's freedom for ALL, not just what you like.

EXACTLY. It's really easy for people to talk a whole lot of shit about things they have no capability of understanding. Especially when you're someone like her, with such low self esteem that they don't even have the capability anymore of empathizing with anyone's feelings but their own. Misinformed and ignorant people have no business judging something they don't understand. You did good to block her, reading that shit made me so FUCKING furious, holy god. I legitimately wanted to rip her tits off and make her wear them as a hat. @_@ Calling your mom a MURDERER, after everything she'd been through? FUCK Purple, man. That shit is not even remotely okay. >=/

I'm so, so, SO sorry she put you through that. I think if I'd been in your shoes, I would have lost my god-damn mind with rage. You handled it with a lot more calm than I could have. >_<

The funny thing is that whenever I get a troll message I always worry I'm over-reacting by even being upset. People are really quick to throw the 'don't let it bother you' line around like it's some simple process when I'm just trying to keep my temper.
I actually got a message like that today. Still angry-cleaning my house. -n-

Sometimes it baffles me that I have over 30 people on my block list.

I try to be as open-minded and patient as is physically possible, but certain subjects ... Oh god, I -explode-. X_X But sadly, with certain breeds of asswads and blowhards, it's necessary, because they neither care nor listen if you try to reason with them civilly. All they understand is abuse and ridicule. =/ I prolly don't block people nearly as much as I should, cuz I waste so much energy cathartically type-yelling at them. XD

"then your mother in my opinion is a murderer."

......Fucking WHAT? Bitch, -WHAT-? This person just told you about how her mother was violently raped by MULTIPLE people that she thought she could trust, existing in abused circumstances in dangerous situations ... and you have the gal to call her a "murderer' for choosing not to have a child under such horrific circumstances? Or give them up to the deplorable existence of being a foster child in custody of the state...? Because here's a newsflash for you, sweetheart--the government doesn't give a single fragrant shit about the "precious unborn children" your cruel bleeding heart is so content to pine over while simultaneously cursing the women carrying them as devils for choosing not to birth them.

THEY. DON'T. CARE.

The moment that kid pops out, they're hustled from foster home to foster home, shelter to shelter, for the majority of their lives. It's a system literally CLOGGED with unwanted children. A vast majority never even get adopted. They drift along through the system, regarded as a financial burden by all around them, until they reach adulthood and get sent out into the world. A lot turn to crime, get involved with gangs, run with the wrong crowds ... all because of what people like "pro-lifers" wanted. Because in your twisted backwards logic, that's SOMEHOW less cruel than their lives ending before they've even truly begun. Yeah, great, some get exceedingly lucky and have a happy ending. But is 1 or 2 "success stories' worth the long miserable dead-end lives of 10 more psychologically ruined children? That's like saying all animals should suffer the full duration of painful debilitating illnesses, regardless of the circumstances, all because "some of them recover miraculously on their own and go on to lead normal lives". The majority should languish in agony and misery, so that a privileged few can get a fair shake? That's STUPID.

I don't feel the least bit bad now about saying "FUCK YOU", if you're going to not only be a moron, but also a moron willing to use said stupidity to insult someone's mother. Get bent, bitch.

Only violent rapes? Have you ever had something forcibly shoved into you? And then have OTHER people like YOU expect to have things you never wanted or asked for forcibly PUSHED OUT or REMOVED from said place? What makes a rape 'violent' enough for you? A gun to a head? Some stab wounds? What amount of violence do YOU perceive as being enough to cause mental issues? What rape ISN'T violent? Please. Tell me how a non violent rape happens. Tell me what rapes are 'okay' enough to warrant A VICTIM suffering for 9 months on top of what she already went through only to push out the spawn of her attacker? And also to bear the phsyical scars that follow for the rest of her life ON top of the ones she'll have mentally due to the rape? What are acceptable rapes to you?

I find it ironic that nowhere in here do you have any mention at all of rape situations. Does the "father" still have those same rights in THAT case? Should all girls be forced to be on birth control, whether they intend to be sexually active/need it for medical reasons or not "just because' she might get raped someday? That doesn't sound just a LITTLE bit twisted to you...?

See, this is the crap I'm talking about. Every pro-lifer I've ever met doesn't have dick for an argument besides 'I just think it's wrong". All their "proof" and "rebuttals" are based either on opinion of false information. Funny ... homophobes operate along similar lines. It's funny how many parallels can be drawn between one breed of loon to another. =P

I prefer to see it as "euthanasia" rather than "murder". Murder implies a violent death fueled by madness, hatred, anger, or all three. Abortion is making a choice as the mother (the ONLY one with the right to make such a choice) to prevent a life from reaching fruition. In the vast majority of situations, it's the kinder option. Humans have a tendency, in some regards, to show greater kindness to animals than to their own kind. We have no qualms about putting Fido to sleep if his quality of life is going to be poor, or his continued existence would only cause him undue suffering, but heaven forbid we have the same level of compassion for our own kind. =/

The biggest problem I have with the pro-life stance is the complete lack of realistic and plausible long-term solutions for what happens once the kid pops out of the oven. NO ONE ever has an answer that isn't utterly ridiculous, showing how little they understand about how the government and world work. It's more accurate to call call it being "pro-birth"--because once the child is born ... nobody gives a flying hoot about the quality of its life, the quality of its mother's life, or the harm its existence might do to an already-bloated population--all that matters is that come hell or high water ... they fetus has gotta be born--consequences and freedom of choice be damned.

I have as hard a time taking pro-lifers seriously as i do homophobes or transphobic people. Sorry if that sounds douchey, but ... oh well. =/

So.... I wonder why we can't all just agree that sex is pretty much like any other preference. Some people love one thing, some people hate it, and that doesn't matter in any way to their worth as a person.

Because in our world, the more taboo and controversial the subject, the more people want to force the other to their viewpoint so they don't have to deal with the opposite viewpoint existing anymore.

Can I re-post this?

Go for it, just link back :3

np That's what I was gonna do. The whole "stolen from" thing XD

I just want to read this over and over and hope that maybe other people will magically start seeing what is so wrong with our society. I hate how women are portrayed as weak and unable to do anything without a man's help. I actually have had many instances of that at my work place.
A female coworker had the audacity of implying that you had to "have a dick" to be able to lift something heavy, that females have no physical strength whatsoever. I am biologically female and I can lift a 24 pack of water bottles just like any guy, but if I want to help an older person put one in their trunk, they ask for a guy instead. Because there's nooo way that a female like me can lift that for the whole two seconds it takes to put it in their car!
An older woman coming through with a bunch of heavy groceries commented that that was why she had a man at home, to bring them in.
The guys at my work think it's okay to check out every single young woman and make comments like they're pieces of meat.
Even male customers talk down to females. I had an instance where I was cashiering and I made a mistake with the change (that I caught a second later and remedied quickly) and the customer looked at the male bagger saying, "Oh girls can't count." I almost pointed out to him that nearly ALL our cashiers are female and all the baggers are male. So I'm thinking they can count pretty damn well.
I hate at my job that I'm not allowed to go out and get carriages/shopping carts when it's dark out because it's "not safe." I shouldn't have to worry about being attacked outside a grocery store, or even in general. Women shouldn't fear walking alone or feel uncomfortable passing men.

I notice that I'm treated differently when people perceive me as male (which is what I am for). Men call me "buddy" and talk to me like we have a "connection." But if they think I'm a girl, they ignore me or make snide comments.

I could go on and on with examples, but I just want to say basically that I agree with everything you have said here. Thank you for not being afraid to let it all out.

Trust me, a lot of these things are very familiar to me.
I can't go take the trash out too late at night without pretty much 'uglying' myself up by putting a heavy sweatshirt over my tanktop (when it's still hot out). I have to be on the phone with someone when I come home late going to my door.

I identified and passed as male for a long time and I mostly did it to avoid being treated this way. Wearing a binder made me feel like I was actually listened to more and taken seriously. Now when I decide I want to wear a cute top out I literally have to avoid eye contact so no one will think that just by wanting to look good I'm open for sexual advances.
I really don't understand why feminine comes with 'unsafe'. I certainly didn't sign up for it.

Every social standard and stereotype happens for a reason. Not to say that I'm justifying those stereotypes, rather just stating the fact.

In this situation, there's a short explanation and a long one.

Long version:

Its harder for straight males to find sex than it is for straight women to find sex. For a guy, wanting sex isn't so much a feeling that comes on with a certain mood, or passion. Its a physical need, it claws at you, telling you to sate this need, and it doesn't go away until you do. As as such, guys crave it much as a smoker will crave a cigarette. Given having sex and making love are two very different things, I'm not ignorant to that.

I'm speaking generally when I say this, so I don't single out any one person, but typically, if a woman wanted to have sex with a guy, all she would have to do is go to a club and raise her hand and she would have at least a handful of candidates lined up almost instantly.

If a guy wanted to have sex with a woman at that same club, he would have to go to the club, scout for what appears to be a single candidate, attempt to charm her, buy her a drink, and if hes lucky, her friends wont cock block you, she might actually be interested in talking to you, and you might have a chance of getting laid if shes easy. I'm speaking generally of course.

If you want a prime example of the mindset behind this theory, then right now, go to craigslist. Look at the men seeking women, women seeking men, and women seeking women, and compare it to the men seeking men page. Men want sex, and if the other person is on the same page, there's no need to put on a show to try to display that you care about kittens and rainbows and sunsets.

Its not that women are either prudes or sluts, and its not that men only care about is sex, its just the differences in our natures and genetic makeups, and how we act because of them.

But yeah, that's why people see it as "If a girl has sex with a lot of guys, that makes her a slut" or "if a guy has sex with a lot of girls, that makes him a man", because typically, a guy has to work for that sex, and its seen as sort of an accomplishment, or the envy of his peers, where girls can generally get sex much easier, making her peers not see those actions as any sort of accomplishment.

The stereotypes themselves herald from ignorance to these facts, similar to racial stereotypes and the like, people fail to see the bigger picture behind everything.



I'm too stupid and lazy to read version: It's easier for women to get sex than it is for men and people failing to understand why results in the "slut or prude" stereotype.


The more you know!

I agree that this double standard also sucks. Sometime I've seen a lot of ftms not understand is that men are generally more invisible. They have to work much harder to get what they want.
However, I don't believe that excuses unwanted sexual attention. If I decide to dress nicely because it makes me feel good I have to avoid eye contact so a guy doesn't think I'm looking for an advance. It isn't flattering; it's depressing.

Still, I don't shame men as a whole for this behavior. In fact, as a femininst I'm one of the people who believes guys don't HAVE to be pimps and johns and players. I believe that we're all born with the same self-respect and I actually believe this can change.

I just blame the molds that we're pushed into and told to stay in.

society.jpg

Also if you dress in attractive clothes, people are going to be attracted. There's no way around it.

There should be a way to look nice without being sexually harassed though, do you agree?

I don't wolf-whistle cute guys (or girls!) when I see them.

Neither do I, but there will always be people who do. Its a case of pick your poison, avoid attention and dress generically, or dress glamorously and get attention.

I'm not one for these, uh...things...of prose, i guess. So here's Justin Beiber getting shot on CSI:

http://youtu.be/4Z3KgHEzN5o

I understand how the whole classification of sluts and studs should be put to an end. How ever it will never come to an end, why? because sluts really are just whores...

example (for sake of argument lets use a scale for hotness. 1 being OMG KILL IT ugly, 10 being "I'm fapping to the mental image of that tonight"

A 5 woman walks into a bar full of men and yells out "I need to get fucked, who wants to fuck me". You will instantly have large groups of men clamoring/fighting over who gets to fuck her. competing for her attention to allow him inside of her. Why? because men aren't nearly as picky as women, our basic instinct doesn't want us to be. It wants us to reproduce with anyone who will take our seed.

A 5 man walks into a bar full of women and yells out "I need to get fucked, who wants to fuck me". Now you might get a few girls interested in this man. After all he was forward enough to yell that out, some women find that attractive and it gets them going. Others are "Oh he is hot, I'll fuck him". the majority how ever will look at him, and if he doesn't match what they are wanting in a potential mate they will turn away. Why? because unlike a man who can just dump his load and leave. A woman has to give birth, has to raise the child. Her instincts are looking for a particular sort of mate to reproduce with, and if a guy doesn't have the traits she is wanting, she passes them up. MEANING, guys have to work harder to show that they have what it takes to be with the woman he is after.


I do agree with you though. It pisses me off that women are actually being told "If you're going to be raped, don't fight it. Just let it happen. You're chances of survival are better if you just let it." I don't know a single woman who would just lay back and say "ok.. fine... you want it bad enough I'm not even going to stop you." I would be all four a bill that says rapists get punished by their crime. They rape someone, they get raped.

I answered this exact comment above, funny enough.

Before People Crucify me for saying this I will say now that I do believe women are not treated equally.

That being said I believe both sexes are to blame on different levels for the problems how the two sex's interact. It mostly how Men treat women though like how you said. But I find that women do tend to treat men differently as well and I've come across many a Sexist female manager or co-worker who treated me so much harsher than say a fellow female employee. I also find it funny that I get eye-balled when I sit in the passenger seat while the my lady friend pumps her gas. I also recall a incident when a woman argued with me for 20 minutes after I forgot to hold the door open for a lady like "a Good Man" should. These are rather... "Small" little things in our society however compared to how women are treated by men. OH btw...I don't hear a clamoring for Woman to be eligible for the Draft either. :P Personally I'm for Equality...Totally and Completely Equality.

Feminism is not about women being treated better. it's about both sexes being treated equally.
There are plenty of double-standards held against men and while I didn't address them as much, I do understand it.
I believe in the comradery of humanity rather than the comradery of sex, to be honest,

I agree ^_^ to me it doesn't matter what Sex, Race, or Creed you follow I treat everyone the same...well I strive to at least because I know I'm not perfect.

The motto is just 'try to treat everyone the way you want to be treated'. Sometimes we fail and sometimes I catch myself with prejudice I didn't think I had (I've noticed that I have mild prejudice for the upper class and for religious conservatives, but I try to temper it). All we can do is try and be kind. ;w;

I am in my 50's, and have worked with nearly all female for over 35 years. I feel VERY few females over the age of 40 enjoy sex at all, based on what I hear from co-workers over the years, and there are thousands of employees here......moral is - enjoy it while you can girls! Dr. Ruth, the famed sex therapist once said, "everyone is responsible for their own orgasm"....Think about that.....

If men were changed into women for a day I'd love to see them try to masturbate.
I'd literally get popcorn and watch.

Not being a female, can you educate me on that a little?

well, look on FA to see what men think pleases women; big dicks going very fast.
I bet the first thing they'd find out is that it HURTS.

Good luck finding g-spot stimulation, learning how to properly do clit stimulation and then learning that if you stop for too long you go back to 0 very quickly.
I doubt they could do it. ;D

Oh, I totally agree - MEN think WOMEN want a massive schlong - 98% of women would find it VERY painful! Nearly all women I talked to preferred girth over length. But I have to mention the problem of communication, which is one of the things I feel Dr. Ruth was alluding to - you have to communicate to your partner, in a very positive way, what feels good to YOU! Men are not women, and women are not men - they can not know what the other finds pleasurable UNLESS THE OTHER TELLS THEM! It is all about communication.....

Exactly.
But do you know how awkward it is to tell your partner that something doesn't feel good?
I honestly hate having to tell a partner to stop trying or just let me do it. As useful as communication is, it's easier said than done (bad pun)

Oh, I have been there! I feel it is easier to tell them what does NOT feel good, then to ask them to try some things that do! (WATCH THOSE TEETH!!!) Maybe that is just me (or a guy thing) though....

I love this. Thank you

Personally the only thing I don't agree with is "I won't find peace with the fact that we are raising a nation of lonely girls who are being taught not to be raped, rather than a nation of friendly boys who are taught not to rape", simply because rape itself is not something only one gender does. Rape is something /both/ genders are capable of, and /both/ genders should be taught not to rape.

Other than that, I do agree with everything else in this journal.

Yes, I didn't cover the area of female rapists. I know it happens. However, in this context I was addressing a particular type.
Neither are acceptable, I agree.

I'm finding myself having to agree with this.

I guess I'm just odd though, because I was never taught "Don't rape things" while growing up. And, funny enough, I haven't.

That's the funny thing about morals, y'know?
I never was taught 'don't murder people because god says no and you'll go to prison'. I just kinda figured out that murdering people is awful, yknow?

Actually the funny thing about morals (and morality in general) is it's simply a tool used to control the mindset by society as a whole. However, that doesn't mean living without 'morals' is going to throw a monkey wrench at society. Rational thinking and coming to logical conclusions beats "morals" and "morality". Just because I'm capable of murder, or rape, or anything doesn't mean I'm going to go out and do those thins. Why? Not because they're /morally/ wrong, but because I know they are wrong and I shouldn't do those things.

.... I have no idea where I was going with this....

yes, I was more using the word 'morals' broadly. I don't do bad things because I'll get in trouble. I don't do bad things because it occured to me that I'm not the only person on this planet who feels and that it's not my place to make others feel bad.
Sometimes I slip up, but for the most part my motto is to treat people how I want to be treated. XD

And to hell with the Madonna/whore dichotomy and the keyhole/lock metaphor. Just more bullshit, that.

You're probably one of the only people I've seen who acknowledges these double standards.
It's a fucked up world, and I just wish it would change.

Sadly, many feminists retaliate too roughly and end up creating a persona that seems to think all men are pigs.
The system is glitched for both sides and often only the angry (and stupid) are loud enough to be heard. Underneath, there are plenty of people who are understandably upset.
The problem is that change takes time.

I'm just glad that you're standing up for an unbiased society. I wish more people would think like you.

What can I say? I'm the product of good upbringing in bad situations, which seems to be how rational people are born. Being told good from bad is meaningless until you see it applied.

I wasn't born in a terrible situation. But I was brought up with strict discipline on morals. I try to be as rational as possible.

i share most of your vision, but, as you said, it takes times and a lot of discussion :)

the best path is to make the changes yourself and raise your children right. That's how change happens; slowly.

i know very well in that way jejeje ^^

I like this journal, if I could fav it, I would. You've hit the nail on the head in describing, pretty much, every facet of society, that society itself doesn't want to talk about.

Wish I had something deep or enlightening to say, but I don't. So, good journal, Sal. c:

I've always hated the connotation that comes with the word slut, though I've almost only heard the word "cunt" being used in a negative way so it feels bad when someone says it.

:l i don't like men or women who sleep around. i find casual sex pretty gross and i get angry when guys try to get in my pants. :v Sex should be with someone you love imho. Just my opinion though.

Okay, as I've read through all of the statements made, I don't really have an opinion because well, I have no right to make judgement's , I'd like to ask just for my own piece of mind what if anything made you decide to talk about this and if it's too personal then no worries I understand about keeping your own business. Because if it's something that's on your mind and you deal with constantly then I apologize.

I wish I could change the way things are everyday, it may sound silly and maybe stupid to you but I do. I've been at war with that mindset for A LOOONG time. sorry about my unusual comment, I'm just feeling really concerned about people in general today.

I'm not entirely sure what you mean.
Are you saying I shouldn't talk about this unless I've been provoked to do so?

No, not at all I tend to garble what I mean, I'm wondering if there was a reason? not if you were provoked it's fine if you like to debate, sorry if I'm confusing.

Does there have to be a reason to be upset at how our society works?
I suppose I started thinking about it when I wore a nice sweater (that happened to be lower cut than usual) a few days back and noticed too many unwanted stares.

It wasn't like my underwear or cleavage was even showing. it was a sweater. XD
I just got to thinking, y'know?

I have a lot of hang-ups myself but I've bent to the feeling that nobody cares what I think so it's best I just don't say anything cause I'll just end up making waves I didn't intend to but that's me and I'm glad people like you stick up for what's right so thanks for the journal. :/ but, I guess saying something as cliche' as "don't worry what other people think" hasn't worked for me much at all because I constantly worry about what everyone thinks about me cause I'm weird like that. :P

Because I'm tired i'll read this over later, but:
Im reminded of Now You See Me (the movie) for some reason

you just described my main source of depression, distress and hatred towards the society mankind built in for themselves.
Whenever I think about it, it breaks me inside a bit more. Makes me feel like I'll never be able to live in this world in peace.

I try to change the absurd mindset society imprints on us wherever I go, but it feels so much bigger than my meager efforts.

Most of the time I don't feel like living in this world anymore, but I hold on so I can be there for those I hold dear.
Thanks for sharing that bit of your feelings. I love you and the fact that you disagree with so much things wrong with our society.
I say I love you in a friendly, admiring way. People tend to misinterpret love as lust or passion, instead of a feeling of admiration, well-wishing and care.

Hey man, I love you too for existing even though this society is shit. Always remember that while society is a net that seems to snare us into its confines, it does have holes. We are not society ourselves, and little by little we can be freethinkers.
Also recall that this society doesn't spread over the entire globe and likeminded people are out there.

Intelligence and free-thinking often go hand and hand with depression, as I know very well, but the more of us that are out there, the better chances we have of shaping this world into something prettier.

I'm all for equality but I'm also all for shame. Men should have to do the walk of shame too, it should be something to be ashamed of, which is an appropriate mechanism to discourage the choice of behavior, while not criminalizing it for the circumstances in which it's a necessity.

Why is sex something to be ashamed of? ono;

Sex isn't, but for me casual sex is. (and I think males are FAR more guilty than females on that front, very probably precisely because there's a lot less stigma)

For me it's (most of the time) an expression of very deep and personal trust, commitment, acceptance and love, something not to be shared lightly, and when we do share it lightly, or across many, that cheapens not just its deeper emotional value but our relationships to each other, and tells us that we aren't, and ought not be, that committed to anyone.

Whores (in a clinical, not derogatory, sense of the word) I have no problem with; and honestly, great sympathy for. To have to be reduced to such a status by a need to keep yourself and/or family fed, borders on desperation but that also shows a strong devotion, and in the case of supporting family, of a pretty powerful selfless love, to put yourself through emotional hell for the sake of another. I'm happy to judge much more harshly people that frequent whores, and treat them as a financial transaction rather than a human being.

Sluts (in a literal "lots of casual sex with lots of casual people" sense, not generic insulting sense of the word) I am much more worried about. One of many aspects that separates man from animals is civilization, and its relative, decorum. In some societies people would fuck like dogs in the park, bend over and smack dat azz in the middle of the street; I wouldn't generally call those civilized societies. And again, with my sense of sex as a more intimate expression of acceptance, the more that's diluted across the many (and I'm again pointing fingers much more at males here) the cheaper the act is seen at large.

I remember watching a friend do some standup at a well-known club, and one of the preceding acts was a young lady who kept going on and on about how "fucking is like so fucking awesome y'know, holding like five dicks is great" and I was incredibly uncomfortable sitting there watching a future (possibly present) meltdown. Not in some religious sense (sorry, darkness-soul, I'm not a bible-thumper) but just in a sense of "you're reducing yourself to ape-like behavior. Weren't we supposed to have evolved?"
There's one page in a comic that stuck with me, the quote was
"In Heaven they make love, on Earth they have sex, in Hell they fuck."
That summed it up to me, minus the Jesus-ey overtones, what is the significance of the act to you? Is it solely for love, solely for lust, can it be both at once, or can both meanings exist separately?
(obviously both meanings exist, and many more, but the latter concerns me more)

Sex is just an act. If you want to treat it as a deeply personal thing, by all means, go for it. But to assume that just because others do not do the same.. they are some how lesser, or deserving of sympathy, or desperate, or dirty, or disturbed.. is disturbing in itself. You obviously have your preference, and that's perfectly fine. I respect that. But the other side of the coin is JUST AS legitimate. Not everyone who has casual sex, or multiple partners, or who sleeps around does it to fill some void or is hurting in some way. Some people just like sex. And what is wrong with that? Some people have couples that enjoy sex with other couples. What's wrong with that? I've made amazing love. I've had amazing fucks. I've had amazing group experiences and shared partners. No one can tell me that somehow everyone enjoying themselves, fully and completely, is them 'lacking' or 'cheapening' something. In fact, the most fulfilling, deep, loving, personal, emotional, raw and amazing experiences sexual and non I've had were with my partner whom I love deeply, and have shared with others. Your opinion is yours and I respect that, but I do not like it when people assume that casual sex has to be, or is negative. Especially when compared to a different 'brand' of sex that can just as easily be experienced casually as well.

slut, bitch, cunt, whore... none of these words should EVER be used towards Anyone, not Just females.

ever advance I have ever received from ANYONE using those words gets instant Rejection. Period.

I may on Rare occasions use those words with people I know well in a joking fashion, but never a loved one, and NEVER seriously

So much agree! All of it!

I saw someone on another website say something along the lines of:
A girl is a virgin, nobody bats an eye. A girl has sex and everyone loses their minds.
A boy has sex, nobody bats an eye or they even congratulate him. A boy is a virgin, everyone loses their minds.

that's just about the gist of it.

Yup. :I
I may not 100% agree with all of it, but I do agree in most aspects. Good journal. :)

I don't believe in slut-shaming no, but I do believe in having some morals.
You can love sex, and enjoy sex as much as you like, but I personally feel if you're sleeping-about no matter if you're a man or a woman, that you're loosing your dignity and my respect.
There's plenty of sex-toys out there for you if you need to find pleasure >.>

Save yourself for someone who will appreciate you, and then fuck their brains out, as much as you like, when you like, ALL THE TIME!
You'll be much happier, and probably feel better about yourself. Not to mention sex with one person over and over can only get better and better.


- As for abortions, I don't personally feel I could have one myself in most circumstances - As all I could think about would be my daughter/son.
Unless I was raped. It's such a harsh subject, it's disheartening and incredibly emotionally painful to have to go through. But I do definitely feel rape-victims certainly have the right to that option.

And those who haven't been raped and just had a bit of a "accident" I wish them to be more careful, but I would never deny anyone their rights.

- Also concerning those who sleep around, if that's what you enjoy - go for it. I'm not here to judge you, but my personal feelings on it won't change.

Why presume that those that are sleeping around are doing it with people who do not respect or appreciate them? Lol.

Also, why is dignity located in the genital region?

I tried to stay out of it but I agree with you on this. :x

if i could favorite a journal...

Well I'm not much for talk, but great journal Sal, I like it hehe ^^ *hug* Such a dumb society that we live in, but hopefully it changes for the better one day, huh? ^^

100% yes to all of that

"I won't find peace with the fact that we are raising a nation of lonely girls who are being taught not to be raped, rather than a nation of friendly boys who are taught not to rape."

Rape is not normal, it is not accepted, and it is not a part of our culture. Men who attack women are cast as villains in the media, and even the accusation of rape is enough to ruin a man's reputation. We men are taught to protect, treasure and defend women, even to our occasional detriment, and men who don't live up to this standard are attacked for not being "real men" (consider the case of wife batterers and the like).

Don't suggest that men as a whole are somehow fine with rape, and that we're incapable of treating women with any measure of empathy in the absence of the guiding light of feminist activists. I hold myself to a higher standard that that, and I'd appreciate it if you didn't insist on lowering it because you've stereotyped me as some sort of barbaric animal.

I ... don't think she was implying that...? Like, at ALL? Settle down, Skipper. @_@

Excuse me, but I could do without the patronizing tone. If you'll read what she said, you'll see that she's claiming that there is a serious problem being caused by our not teaching boys not to rape. How exactly is that true in any sense? Are there boys out there who just don't know that rape is bad? Are there men who just forget not to rape women? Has society as a whole just decided that rape is entirely acceptable? Unless we're talking about the third world, these things are entirely inaccurate, and wholly offensive.

I'm not patronizing (believe me ... you'd KNOW if I was patronizing--there's be heaps more sarcasm), I'm marveling, with bemusement, at how quickly you jumped in with guns a-blazing over stuff that isn't true. She clarified her stance higher up these comment threads. She was making an EXAMPLE. It would kind of subtract from the simplicity of the piece she wrote to use that space to list ALL types of rape scenarios. She was plucking the most commonly-recognized example, not generalizing that all men are cool with rape. You're making a huge something out of a whole lot of nothing.

Again ... settle dooooooooown. Geez, you're worse than those rabid Femi-Nazis. Jumping to brash conclusions at the drop of a hat, and actively LOOKING for reasons to get offended. =/

An example? Of what? What is the broader context that I'm missing here? I checked the comments, but I haven't found anything qualifying what she said, other than maybe "women can rape too".

Now, let's get to the point of what you've said here. How exactly would a list of rape scenarios help clarify things? I'm not complaining that she didn't list rape scenarios A through K, and I'm not saying that what she said required some sort of footnote to clarify things - I'm saying that she was wrong to say that men need extra training to help them avoid raping women. Normal men - most men - would never consider raping anyone, simply because they have a sense of decency. They have a sense of empathy that, believe it or not, actually extends to women. Saying that we need to train men not to rape is taking a problem with a tiny minority of men (those without empathy) and stretching it out to the size of the entire male gender. The original line I complained about is nothing more than an empty self-affirmation slogan for feminists to chant: "Men are rapists. Men need to be civilized". This rhetoric, which exactly mirrors that of those "Femi-Nazis" you mentioned, shows up in posters, college campuses, debates, law, and now furry art sites apparently.

It all comes down to this: we ARE raising a nation of men who are taught not to rape. We do it in the same way that we teach them not to murder, steal, and batter - by augmenting the natural human sense of empathy over years of childhood and adolescence. When people see a murder on the news, they don't say that we need to teach men not to murder, and stories of gang violence don't prompt people to tut over how we need to better train society's males. Why should it be any different for rape? Gender has no more bearing on this discussion than race, or age, so why even bring it up? How does a man's masculinity relate to his status or non-status as a rapist? This isn't a gender problem. We don't need to teach men not to rape. We don't need to teach women not to rape. Rape is an empathy problem, and conflating gender with empathy (or a lack thereof) isn't helping anyone.

Wow ... you are, like ... STUCK on this, ain'tcha? =/ You're taking what she said to be some kind of "anti-men political statement" or a "victim complex" when it really isn't either ONE of those things. At all. It's like you're deliberately trying to work yourself up and HUNT for something to be offended about. It'd actually be impressive if it didn't look so ... sad. My bemused confusion has kinda melded into frustrated pity at this point.

You, for some reason, wanna take this entire thing and twist into some kind of anti-men agenda that Sal's apparently trying to spew, which makes you look like some kinda weird dick-waving reverse Femi-Nazi. It's hard to take someone acting like you seriously. But fuck it, I'll try one last time.

The "example", in this case, is plucked to bring attention to a specific aspect of just how fucked and backwards things are for both men AND women, from a social standpoint. Of -course- not all men are wired to be rapists. Any idiot could figure that out. But people (men OR women) don't just randomly wake up one day and go "welp, time to start my new life as a rapist!". Things usually lead up to it. People who don't understand boundaries, or are socially stunted, or have psychological traumas that have conditioned them to either not understand or not respect others. They start out as stalkers, creepers, and/or socially-awkward recluses in many cases, long before it ends in sexual abuse of others. There's a series of events that leads up to it--much like the series of events that lead people to become murderers or thieves. What Sal was TRYING to say is that rather than SOLELY focusing on how potential rape victims should learn how better to avoid getting assaulted ... equal effort should be placed on rehabilitating problemed individuals before they offend, to help thwart a problem before it can BECOME a problem. If we're going to try and be preventative, why are we only going to be preventative from one end of the spectrum?

That REALLY was it. You blew this way, way, WAY out of proportion, tried to accuse Sal of something she isn't, cry and wail about your feelings of misplaced indignation, and to be honest ... you should feel REALLY embarrassed about that. Truly. >_> Buuuuut you won't, because I've learned over the years that most people who act and RE-act to things the way you do either are incapable of understanding what others have to say, or are too bull-headed to admit to making a lapse of judgment. But I still stubbornly like to the idea that not all people of your ilk are a lost cause. =3

There's absolutely no need for insults. I've played nice here, and you've done nothing but throw vitriol at me. Let's have a conversation, rather than having you talk down to me like you're some sort of wise social justice sage who is entirely beyond having a conversation with the pitiful, ignorant rabble. If you want to actually talk to someone, then you can't act like your opinion makes you better than they are.

Anyhow, if Sal really meant to say that we should try to address issues that cause people to rape (both preventatively and as treatment) then why did it come out as "we should raise a nation of friendly boys who are taught not to rape" (which, on its face, implies that boys are somehow not friendly, and are inclined to rape)?

This justification/rationalization came from you, not Sal. Sal didn't say that we should treat the psychological symptoms that lead to rape; you said that. None of the comments Sal has made have even come close to saying that (the closest she came was in saying that she doesn't blame all men for rape, which doesn't really address the point). So far, you've put words in her mouth to make her sound better, and that's about it.

What Sal said is lifted wholesale from radical feminist ideology, whether she realizes it or not. For example, it shows up in media like these

http://beaconnews.ca/wp-content/upl.....13/09/rape.png
http://asap-asia.org/blog/wp-conten...../04/image7.jpg
http://thedisorderofthings.files.wo.....-wanted-to.jpg
http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m.....r19io1_500.jpg

These posters have nothing to do with treating the issues that lead to rape - they're about attacking the acceptance of rape that supposedly permeates male culture (i.e. the male aspect of "rape culture"). If Sal was really trying to say that we should treat the psychological issues that lead to rape, then I totally agree with her. However, until she stops parroting radical feminist talking points about "rape culture" and how men need to be fixed, I'm going to have to say that I can't agree with her. If she wants to convey her points more effectively, then maybe she should use her own words, rather than unthinkingly taking phrases from radical feminists.

Now, should I wait for you to respond with some measure of civility, or are you just going to call me a radical, dick-waving, bull-headed, feminazi with a victim complex?

I'd call you worse than that, actually, if I had the motivation to be so creative. But you're not even worth the investment. =/

All I keep seeing is that YOU keep rephrasing what SHE said so that you can feel justified in dancing atop your soapbox of social injustice against testosterone, and you keep clinging to the insistence that she insulted men. You seen to be among the VERY tiny minority if this journals commenters having SUCH a difficult time grasping what she said. No one else is reaching this same conclusion as you, nor expressing such outrage. Everyone else--myself included--had absolutely no trouble understanding what she was saying, and yet ... here you are, like a golden ray of inadequacy.

So as I've already clarified (multiple times), and you keep tenaciously clinging to this "she's a Femi-Nazi!" agenda of yours, I'm done. I don't even think it'd matter, at this point, if Sal were to reply back and echo everything I've said. You'd STILL cling to your delusions of discrimination, and you'd STILL try to preach and argue about an offense that isn't even being committed. So as far as I'm concerned, you're more than welcome to drown yourself in your own stubborn stupidity for all I care, LOL. I tried, but some skulls are just too thick to penetrate. Ciao, homes.

Ah, so you went with the name-calling option. I wish I could say I'm surprised, but I honestly don't know why I expected any amount of civility out of someone as self-centered and self-righteous as you. Maybe by the next time you try having a conversation, your massive intellect will have granted you the ability to interact with other people like an adult, but I'm not going to hold my breath.

'Kay. =3

Okay, this is ridiculous. I don't give a shit who's right and who's wrong, or who's offensive or whatnot. I don't wanna go to sleep tonight knowing that the last thing I did today was to make someone's day slightly worse. Sorry if I offended you or whatever. Can we agree to disagree and hate one anothers' guts or whatnot?

Buddy, I'mma be blunt. There's not a damn thing i like about people who talk and act like you. Not one bit. I'll never stop being the biggest bitch/asshole i can to anyone who talks and reacts the way you do. And I'll never stop bein' proud of that fact, either.

I'm not the one you hafta wrestle with the guilt of offending or not, tho, cuz this ain't my journal. I just call people out on their bullshit when I see it. This obviously bothers you a helluva lot more than it bothers me, tho, and it's almost fascinating, really. =3 If your fragrant horseplop had even -remotely- gotten stuck in my craw, I wouldn't have tried -nearly- so hard to bludgeon sense into your skull, nor restrained myself so much on giving you a piece of my mind. I'd have just told you that if I had nuts, you should suck 'em, and then be on my way to stew about how much of a dickweed I thought you were. But I didn't, so you didn't "offend" me, and i don't "hate you" either. I just think you're a hard-headed moron with a victim complex and a strange obsession with random soapboxing. Doesn't take offense or hatred to reach that kinda conclusion, bucko, LOL.

With that last of your burning questions answered, I hope, I'm now done.

If that's how you want things to be, then I'm fine with that. You seem upset, but try to have a nice day anyhow.

What Synwolf said.
If you read below I actually say in multiple comments that I'm thoroughly aware of the double standards that men have to face, that I actually believe the problem is in the society, not the perpetrator, and that I'm protesting rape culture in general. Females can rape too. it doesn't make it okay, and I'm not blaming all men for this behavior.

Take a deep breath. I'm not your enemy.

I'm not complaining about the double standards men face - I'm complaining that you've decided to cast yourself as the victim of this "rape culture" that you've imagined into existence. Rape is not a part of our culture, it is not accepted, and it is harshly punished. I'm tired of people claiming that society loves rape because we tell women how to avoid being raped. It's like saying that society accepts murder because we tell people to avoid going through the bad part of town at night. These actions are just symptoms of practicality, not approval.

Okay, at this point, I think you're just lookin' for something to fight about, because Sal couldn't possibly have been more clear here. She. Made. An. Example. She picked the most commonly recognized thing, and went with that. There's no fucking "victim complex" here. If anything, it'd be YOU with the victim complex, seeing as how you want so badly to feel wronged and unjustly represented here.

What, is she supposed to make a mini essay, listing ALL rape scenarios in great detail, just so people like you don't lose their minds? Sweet bleeding tits of the Virgin Mary, dude. I haven't seen someone this dedicated to being offended in a DAMN long time. =P

Maybe I'm wrong, but I think a lot of girls enjoy sex more then they lead onto. Personally, I love everything about it. But can I go shouting this around? Not in America at least, everyone has got their titties in a twist over it.

Pretty much what you mentioned of a double standard. If a girl admits to liking sex to a man, then he considers an easy target. When she refuses him, she's a tease or a slut. The only way to get out of being hit on after saying this is either "LOL with the bf" or just making a made-up one. I rarely / never have sex when I'm out of relationship, but I certainly make up for it when I'm in one just for this reason. I can't enjoy having sex when I'm single with worries of what people might think of me, which is horrid.

This is the epitome of perfect.

I thought that mentality was on the way out, actually.

Not as much as you might think.

I thought I would chime in as a greymuzzle from the "two generations back" label that was applied earlier. First of all, I do have to say society is screwed up. It always has been and it always will be. That being said, things do change. I was brought up to be respectful of women. I would get my buns warmed for me if I neglected to do things like say "yes Ma'am" or hold a door open for a woman. These very things have often brought me grief because I was accused of being sexist, or "interested" in someone, merely from the act (almost a reflexive act) of holding a door open. I have friends who finally realize that this is how I was raised, and that I'm not looking for some kind look or word back telling me that they are interested in me as a mate. Reflecting back on a lifetime, I realize that much of what was done back in the fifties and sixties was oppressive to women. I've lived through the invention of "the Pill" and the women's rights movement. I understand the plight of women, but have always felt victimized by them for being labeled as things I personally was not. I was always naive to women's plights because to me, it was always alien to consider rape, or abuse (verbal or physical), or any other kind of mistreatment of women. I always figured that I was the norm and that people just didn't really do those sorts of things often. Of course, sadly, I was/am wrong in that assumption. I understand that this is more of an occurrence than I want to believe. I try to take each person as an individual. I cannot remember who said that a person is not stupid, but people (masses) are. I believe that abortion (like religion) is a personal choice not to be forced upon anyone. As long as it does not affect me personally, if a woman wants to have an abortion, it is their decision. They have to live with it. I have never sat back and judged women for that. I know that some are taught that abortion is a sin. It is a sin only if YOUR religion tells YOU not to do it. All my life, I have applied the standard of "does something affect me personally", and found that if I pretty much tolerate the things that do not affect me personally (like a person's sexuality), that life goes on pretty well. Anyway, I recall things like girls not being allowed to wear pants in school, and the rules about bras having to be worn (the pencil test - if the breast could hold a pencil underneath it cross ways without a bra, a bra must be worn). My point here is things are changing. The hardest thing to do is wait for change. If you want perfection, you will only grow up frustrated. It has taken me a lifetime to understand that. Not to spout political drivel, but that is why more older people are Republicans than Democrats. Democrats want to force perfection on society at the expense of society's wallet, and Republicans realize that perfection is unobtainable at any cost, and that if you concentrate on the economy, that people will try to find their own way to perfection. I have been told I'm more of a Libertarian because of my split political views. I'm financially conservative and socially liberal. I didn't mean to drag politics into this, so please don't flame me. Believe me, I am always open to debate, but in my experience, the first person to start cursing and being outraged has already lost.

This journal post is such a broad issue to address... let me think. There are some facts that are part of life. Women (generally) are less strong than men. Women give birth. By necessity, women must be more particular of choosing a partner, though with the invention of reliable birth control, this is less of a truism. People crave power and money. Control is a form of power. People are reluctant to relinquish power or money. Let's start with these. Society has always looked for ways to control people, be it through laws, religion, or social stigma. Men have used all three to keep and maintain control over women. This is wrong, but I have seen this change so much in my lifetime. As bad as things seem now, they were much much worse before. Women are different than men and by necessity deserve special consideration. There are many laws that should be enacted to protect them. I will stop at this point because I have been up most of the night, and this is far too delicate an issue to discuss with a foggy brain. I hope I have given a slight insight into my views without stirring too much criticism.

Let me see. My outlook.

'Tending to her garden' A euphemism used to denote pleasuring a woman's vulva, can cover everything from oral to fingers to toys.

Slut. As far as i'm concerned that one aplies equaly to men and women, negative in both cases. If you'll sleep with anything that moves, you're a slut, regardless of your gender.

Whore: A legitimate profession, no negative connotation. It's a job, one that needs doing.

Rape is a touchy subject. Legitimate rape: not to arouse any ire, this is situations where it was forced by physical means, phycological means such as blackmail, or through taking advanatage of an altered state of mind where one cannot properly give permission. Male or female, because all of those can happen to both, that is legitimate rape, and should be guarded against by males and females. Ergo no assumptions that 'it's what they wanted' none of that 'they shouldn't have been wearing XXX or doing YYY, or they where at ZZZ place' as there's no deffence for rape.

Ilegitimate rape: This is an even toucher subject: This would be cases where one person or another after the fact, having entered into the act willingly, decides that they wish to press rape charges. If you think that nobody wouuld do this, think again. Think back to yoru school days, or to your coworkers. Know that one who was moody, spitefull, vindictive, and liked hurting others? There are a good number of those that have pulled this move. There are also parents who have put forth rape charges when they learn their child had consenual sex with another.

Lets see.. condom condom condom, use one dear lord use one! Always have one, if it's out of date get a new one and use he new one, if it's broken replace it! If you -must- go bareback, there is no replacement for a nice current STD test, pulling out, and maybe some spermicidal lubricant for those hetero couples.

Abortion should have no stigma, frankly the 'new life' is either a collection of cells that have yet to form much of anything, or it's a nutrient leaching parasite that could not survive without acess to the womans blood supply.

Likewise Puting a newborn up for adoption should hold no stigmata. I have a close family tie to this topic. My mother was adopted, and her first born child was willingly given to adoption centers because she could not at that time care for him. For those who worry about newborns seperated from its parents I would like to point something out: There is literaly a waiting list for newborn adoptions. That child will be in a loving home nearly as soon as it's entered into the system. Be more concerned about ages 4 through 16 in the system.

Men, if it's being done 'for yoru pleasure' then I sugest you give preforming oral a try. IN fact, you should not only try it, but you should activly look and ask for ways to please her. This includes not falling asleep after sex!

Topic of single mothers.. This one strikes at home with me. Big time. I was born to a single mother, my biological father denied I was his even after court ordered dna tests. My mother did her best with me, though we had it rough. We moved alot, often lived with friends of my mother because of the number of times she would get passed over for jobs, ot of course for being a single mother, noo. but from what I have been told over the years, that generaly did come up and raise eyebrows.
It's an unfortunate social stigma, one that hurts more than just the mothers who are trying their best, and it realy has no justification behind it. I can't find any. Then again, maybe i'm to close to the subject. Maybe there is some grand reason and justification in the minds of those who aren't touched by the problem, that makes it seem both right and proper to make life more difficult for someone who already has enough problems just trying to ballence suporting their child, and having enough time for them.

And for those who might look down on my mother. I never realy knew about the problems. There where times when my mother wasn't around much, I knew that, but she was still always there to tuck me in, when I was sick she'd be there with tomato soup and gold fish, ants on a log, or a peanut butter and jelly cut into 'soldiers'. She even found time to cuddle up on the couch and read me goosebumps. So if after that you still look down on her, perhaps you should consider if you had such a happy childhood.

My personal opinion is that it perpetuates rape culture to project someone's worth and dignity onto their genitals.

Those who act like any form of sex is somehow less dignified or respectable.
Those who treat virginity like a badge of honor or a gift that people must cherish and hold onto.
Those who feel people deserve to be PUNISHED with unwanted children or whatever else for having sex.
Those who act like those who have sex with any sort of frequency are dirty, 'used', or cheapened.

Etc, etc, etc.

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/5086175/

I used a few of your quotes here