Hello everyone,

I am very sorry for my long absence. Because of a serious medical condition (that emerged early November) I have been withdrawn and distant dealing with it. To update, I am okay and stable now. Currently I am experiencing a respite from my symptoms, a moderate remission. This is allowing me to focus on life and participate in it again which I am terribly thankful for.

I am hoping to reconnect on FA and make art again. I can't promise that my hiatuses are over forever, but right now I am cautiously optimistic. Ultimately it is up to the whims of my condition/complications.

Below is the long version of what happened to me over the last 10 months.. it is a boring downer, but I thought I owed a proper explanation seeing how this update is so long overdue. v n v

Importantly, I want my friends on FA to know I've missed you dearly and how I hope to make up for so much lost time. ♡

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Last February, after an endoscopy procedure, I was diagnosed with an Auto-immune Disease (Crohn's disease). It is a serious incurable disease where the immune system attacks the body, specifically the digestive system. This explained all the throwing-up and terrible burning pain I experienced. It was the kind of news that made my heart sink. I remember the nurse unceremoniously handing me a pamphlet and generic drugs before my brother picked me up.

Most of my days after this have been house-bound. I haven't been able to work, play, or create reliably. My new normal became waking up sick and struggling to keep down food throughout the day. The inflammation pain is still the worst part, leaving me helpless and unsociable. When I started getting very fatigued my doctor had me go into IV therapy. It was for iron and essential vitamins that my body wasn't producing.

In April I was hospitalized all the way through mid-June. My doctor had sent me in for immediate surgery to fix a swelling. The surgery was successful (my first time ever under the knife) but I was kept in until they could stabilize my condition and treatment. My daily sickness had left me malnourished, anemic, and dangerously underweight. I think I was 90 pounds when I should be a healthy 120-130.. it was distressing looking at a skeleton in the mirror.
I had a companion IV machine attached to me most of the time. I was being filled with Saline and other medicines for my stomach. When the pain was too much I given Morphine. It had this weird relaxing sensation, like your body was being filled with a warm soup. My nurses were nice though I was moved rooms often. The hospital was old and overcrowded; it didn't have television or internet either. My family brought an old laptop for me so I could watch dvds luckily, even though I chose to sleep for most of my free time. Later on when I started improving my family brought in home-cooked meals every other night. These little things meant the world to me. I remember trying not to cry when they visited.

I was discharged mid June. I think my doctor was satisfied that they had diagnosed me properly (after a myriad of tests). I wasn't on a slippery weight-lose slope and my blood work looked positive. I missed being home. It has been a lot less depressing to sleep in my own bed. I haven't been able to enjoy much of this Summer. It has still been a struggle. Food (a necessary evil) and the pains/nausea have kept me housebound. u n u,,

With my current remission I have reached a healthy weight again, my muscles are a little stronger and the inflammation wavering. I am trying to focus any of this spare energy on the things I love (art, creativity, etc). Although I am afraid of slipping back, I hope to get my life back on its tracks. I am sorry again for this long sad boring read. The notes and messages left during my absence have meant a lot to me. I hope to make up for lost time and pull together again.

~Lambi ♡