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RE: Cold Turkey by MCFrisky
12 years ago
General
Before reading this journal, I think you should read the original journal here: http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/5147033/
I have technically been a furry since I was 17 and got into the porn. I'll be honest here. What first attracted me to the fandom was the porn.
However, I felt I had an affinity for fur (pun intended) for much of my life. I loved animals, as a kid I would pretend to be one sometimes (usually a cat, which would explain my fursona) I would come up with stories with anthropomorphic animals, hell, for my final project for a college art course I took, I did a puppet show about an anthropomorphic cat and mouse duo that I made up when I was 6 but "rebooted" with more adult themes and such. I got an A in the course.
However, I've only been active in the fandom since late December of last year when some YouTube friends of mine found out I was a furry, and it turned out they were furries too. So they pressured me into making an account on this site, and I did.
After graduating from college in June of this year, I became even more active, spending most of my internet time either on FurAffinity, on furry streams, or chatting with furries on Skype. (And often doing much more than just simple chit chat if you know what I mean.)
But this came at a price. Literally. I have probably spent almost a thousand dollars so far on commissions in the last four and a half months. I have let the fandom consume me much more than it should. I rationalize it as a hobby, but it seems more like a way of life to me. And that is definitely not what furry should be.
To me, furry is like the Gremlins from the eponymous films. Don't feed it too much (and probably best not to feed it after midnight) or else it will become an uncontrollable monster.
You cannot let furry consume you. You have to do other things with your life outside of the fandom. You cannot let your main defining characteristic as a human being be furry.
As for the commission problem, I plan to stop getting any new ones for the rest of the year. I already have at least ten of them or so I have yet to upload. If I uploaded one once a week, I could easily make it to the end of the year. However, I might get a cheap Christmas commission if available (always wanted to see my Ashy in sexy Santa lingerie) but that would be it. I need to stop this compulsion.
You absolutely cannot let furry run your life. You have to keep it tame. Do something else that doesn't have to do with furry. Go to a bar, a poetry reading, a concert, any place to meet people. Get out of your comfort zone. Hope that people are tolerant of the furry fandom (which I think they're more likely than not, at least in socially liberal areas) but don't make it your ONLY hobby. Or probably even your primary hobby.
And I can say, with all honesty, that I follow this advice much less than I probably should. But I know I got to do it. And as a human being (since you are not actually a cartoon animal living in a murry-furry fantasy world) you owe it to yourself to do this to improve your real life.
I have technically been a furry since I was 17 and got into the porn. I'll be honest here. What first attracted me to the fandom was the porn.
However, I felt I had an affinity for fur (pun intended) for much of my life. I loved animals, as a kid I would pretend to be one sometimes (usually a cat, which would explain my fursona) I would come up with stories with anthropomorphic animals, hell, for my final project for a college art course I took, I did a puppet show about an anthropomorphic cat and mouse duo that I made up when I was 6 but "rebooted" with more adult themes and such. I got an A in the course.
However, I've only been active in the fandom since late December of last year when some YouTube friends of mine found out I was a furry, and it turned out they were furries too. So they pressured me into making an account on this site, and I did.
After graduating from college in June of this year, I became even more active, spending most of my internet time either on FurAffinity, on furry streams, or chatting with furries on Skype. (And often doing much more than just simple chit chat if you know what I mean.)
But this came at a price. Literally. I have probably spent almost a thousand dollars so far on commissions in the last four and a half months. I have let the fandom consume me much more than it should. I rationalize it as a hobby, but it seems more like a way of life to me. And that is definitely not what furry should be.
To me, furry is like the Gremlins from the eponymous films. Don't feed it too much (and probably best not to feed it after midnight) or else it will become an uncontrollable monster.
You cannot let furry consume you. You have to do other things with your life outside of the fandom. You cannot let your main defining characteristic as a human being be furry.
As for the commission problem, I plan to stop getting any new ones for the rest of the year. I already have at least ten of them or so I have yet to upload. If I uploaded one once a week, I could easily make it to the end of the year. However, I might get a cheap Christmas commission if available (always wanted to see my Ashy in sexy Santa lingerie) but that would be it. I need to stop this compulsion.
You absolutely cannot let furry run your life. You have to keep it tame. Do something else that doesn't have to do with furry. Go to a bar, a poetry reading, a concert, any place to meet people. Get out of your comfort zone. Hope that people are tolerant of the furry fandom (which I think they're more likely than not, at least in socially liberal areas) but don't make it your ONLY hobby. Or probably even your primary hobby.
And I can say, with all honesty, that I follow this advice much less than I probably should. But I know I got to do it. And as a human being (since you are not actually a cartoon animal living in a murry-furry fantasy world) you owe it to yourself to do this to improve your real life.
Anything can become an addiction or, as in the case with fandoms, a life style. This is true for everything from the current Brony world to older and more established Trekker community. There are always some people that don't just have a hobby when it comes to that interest but make it into a lifestyle that integrates into a part of their identity. This integration could be a non-issue so long as a metric of social responsibility and acceptance indicated that the individual in question was able to function as a normal adult should but there in lies the rub.
On a slight tangent here I'd like to point out that the fandom has been a "young mans playground" for a while now. This isn't a bad thing but it should be pointed out that to some extent that is exactly because of the open access to porn, easy sex (if you're gay that is) and lots of hugbox social interactions. I'd argue that the fandom provides a more supportive environment for this kind of behavior, which is generally not acceptable outside of the fandom, and that is what keeps people involved in it for as long as it does.
Many people eventually tire of the fandom as they get older, it's just a part of growing up. This can happen for many reasons, for some it's wanting to integrate back into normal social life, for others it can be a matter of no longer wishing to hide their lifestyle, for some it comes down to finances and yes it is sometimes just a matter of no longer wishing to fit the public image of the "Furry".
At the end of the day my own personal opinion is that some people take this kind of stuff way to seriously. For example have you ever heard someone say "Coming out as a furry"? That doesn't even make any sense, I mean you don't come out as a person that likes tacos, or a person for whom cars are a hobby right? So then the fandom is nothing that you can come out about. I should also mention that being furry isn't a choice, you either enjoy the fandom or you don't. The only choice is in whether or not you participate in the social side of things, going to cons and meets specifically.
To each their own, I don't really feel all that compelled to be active in the fandom like I was years ago but if people enjoy it, if they get something out of it then more power to them. I would just ask that they keep in mind that if you live in the fandom, surrounded by it's members and it's lifestyle that you are limiting yourself to a world in which you are only being exposed to a sliver or society. In a sense you are not living in the same reality that the rest of the world is. Everything in moderation.
Furries need to be socially responsible and just treat it like being someone who takes part in Civil War reenactments or another quirky and time. labor, and money-intensive hobby. While it involves a lot of devotion, it should not be more than just a hobby. When you think of yourself as a person, the first thing that comes to mind should not be furry.
And coming out as a furry just sounds like bullshit. Sure, there are going to be plenty of people who will disapprove, but IRL most people generally don't give a damn and furries are largely a non-thought for them. They might see something about furries in the media, laugh about it with their friends for a week, and then move on with their lives. Not the case for the LGBT and other actual marginalized groups.
As for love and sex, I do RP a lot but I'm looking for a steady relationship. Though I'm at an age in which I can get quite lusty. However, I don't care if the person I find is a furry or not. It would be nice if the person was okay with it and wouldn't dump me if he or she found out, but I certainly wouldn't mind if my partner wasn't into it. (Though I might convert them to the Dark Side, lol.)
I'll probably grow out of the fandom eventually, especially because I find the idea of being a graymuzzle horrifying. Sorry to any graymuzzles out there, but that's how I feel.
To be honest here it does feel awkward sometimes. I mean you can't help but feel like a perv when you're surrounded by a bunch kids trying to our sexy one another. I can leave you feeling like the odd man out, you can't participate because you're too old for the shit and you can't even let on if you are aroused since that would also be creepy and wrong. Suddenly you are cut off from what is a large part of the fandoms makeup.
Outside of a creepy perv issues it is easy to get jaded with time, this doesn't just apply to the fandom but especially in the fandom. As an example there are only so many times you can hear a conversation about how "Two giant anthros fucking eachother with red hot pokers while reciting the pledge of allegiance is so fucking hwat!" only to have them see a baby fur, or an inflation fur, or an age play fur etc and suddenly stop to point and say "OMG, what a freak! Can you believe they even let those people in here?". The truth is in time you realize that being in this fandom means that you are already a social pariah, you are a loser in the worlds eyes so you have lost the high ground already. I'm not saying you can't have opinions or be judgemental, that is just normal human behavior, but you do have to temper that with an understanding that you yourself are just as weird and fucked up as those people you're talking about.
Then there is the activity level. When you start to get a little older that energy level drops, well for most of us it does anyway. So the all night parties and the dance competitions start to wear on you more than they did when you were younger. Once you take those activities away the con scene starts to look really different. At some point as a greymuzzle you have three choices, leave the fandom and find a new hobby, stay in the fandom but try and find something else about it that keeps your interest or continue to pretend that you're not the creepy old guy that you yourself once pointed to and made fun of. I'm not sure where I fall in that spectrum.
I will say this. I've never been a popufur nor would I ever want to. The idea of having fanboys groping and hounding me is just horrifying. I've never been an artist in the fandom, I've never really been into the porn and though I like to suit I'm not a huge fan of doing it until I can't move the next day and I feel like I've lost twenty pounds in fluids. I do enjoy watching the people, talking and sharing stories and sometimes I even go to a panel! I'm not sure I'll be in the fandom much longer myself.
And for me, this partying and sex has actually been quite beneficial for me. This attitude of openness has really gotten me to come out of my shell. Because of MCFrisky's party last summer, I feel more confident in general. Before, I was extremely shy and introverted, always incredibly nervous about social situations, afraid to talk to anyone. Now, while I still have those feelings, they're less so now after having the first wild party of my life. I'm really glad that I went and I want to thank MCFrisky for throwing this party that changed my worldview and personality.
Right now, I'm at a point where I really want sex and parties, and this fandom offers it aplenty. When I eventually settle down, I will probably tire of it, but as of now I really desire it.
I know I'm a social pariah, and to a certain extent there's pride in that, being different and all that especially when there's so much good content that this group of outcasts provides, including the parties and sex.
As of now, I need release and this fandom provides it in spades.
This is what the journal was about. It's about what can happen when you let the furry part of you take over completely. Keep it under control and you should be fine. If you feel it's consuming you, find other things to do, like reading classics or going to museums or poetry readings or whatever.
And don't say I AM a furry. No, you're a person who's in a fandom that celebrates anthropomorphic animals. Try to avoid I AM ____ statements in general.