FA+
Shop
When it rains it pours...
12 years ago
Commission queue Trello board: https://trello.com/b/sEYNXMHt/art-commissions
I feel exhausted.
RL stuff here and streams schedules are starting to make a bad number on my sleep.
I've been unemployed since august 30th. There were talks however that a client had a big project coming up and that I might be called again by my old workplace around mid-october. As it ended up being.... the client's project(a big maintenance shutdown at a local refinery who is the client in question) delayed again. There has just never been anymore enough contracts and projects for two drafters to work on, so I never got called(and I don't blame my employer).
My own brother is part of the very last team of welders and pipefitter still left on the workshop proper's floor and even they have had a hard time doing 40 hours weeks sometimes because of the lack of projects coming our employer's way.
Monday and Tuesday I made a grand 20$ in commissions combined.... I could have made maybe 30$ though if it hadn't been for how exhausted I felt yesterday(emotional stuff relating to other things I'd rather not talk about did not help).
I can't really use my own car until I can get it checked up monday.
And now... well, now I really need to find a new job, because recent news confirmed that finally it's looking like that project for my employer might not even kick up in 2013.
And I'm afraid because even though I now have experience, good feedback that I can rely on because of my last job... I more or less got employed there through the "back door" metaphorically speaking and before that it still had been 5 years that I had not worked in the Computer Assisted Drafting field and after two months since becoming unemployed(holding out for that client's project which never came)... I'm starting to dread the possibility of an interview.
And now... well, to even further drive the point home now.... my own brother who was part of the workshop's last team was laid off today alongside the rest of the team.
I know it's little compared to other's worries.Hell, I only have to look within my own family to look at people who've had it worst like one of my own deceased aunt. It kind of shame me that all of this is getting to me as it is now when I know what some others have gone through, none the least being this aunt or my own father when he gave up a well-paid job to become self-employed. Sometimes I wish I could have the same amount of self-confidence both had and have.
At least my brother and I are both both elligible for unemployment insurances(not sure what it goes by in the States if it exists) and such... I just wish I didn't had that other emotions stuff thing to deal with, and could stop being afraid with this job search, dreading those questions which might come in an interview especially with all I could have going FOR me.
It's just, it feels like there's so many things coming up all at once with little pause...
I might take this journal down later. I just needed to let it out because right now I'm just unsure who to go to for this anymore. I can't confide to my brother about the livestream's slowness as of late because at the end of the day it's just up to me to advertise more (and I'm thankful to
Foxenawolf for all the efforts she's already given in helping me with my livestream and art commissions) and in his eyes it would just be a matter to further add how much I need to "hook a real job again" even though I'm dreadfully aware I need to already. And the emotion stuff... even that I'm not sure how to cope with especially in his case it'd just lead to probably more of the same type of answers despite the differing subject even if I know it's thing only time can really do anything about. And no, this is not something I want to talk about here.
RL stuff here and streams schedules are starting to make a bad number on my sleep.
I've been unemployed since august 30th. There were talks however that a client had a big project coming up and that I might be called again by my old workplace around mid-october. As it ended up being.... the client's project(a big maintenance shutdown at a local refinery who is the client in question) delayed again. There has just never been anymore enough contracts and projects for two drafters to work on, so I never got called(and I don't blame my employer).
My own brother is part of the very last team of welders and pipefitter still left on the workshop proper's floor and even they have had a hard time doing 40 hours weeks sometimes because of the lack of projects coming our employer's way.
Monday and Tuesday I made a grand 20$ in commissions combined.... I could have made maybe 30$ though if it hadn't been for how exhausted I felt yesterday(emotional stuff relating to other things I'd rather not talk about did not help).
I can't really use my own car until I can get it checked up monday.
And now... well, now I really need to find a new job, because recent news confirmed that finally it's looking like that project for my employer might not even kick up in 2013.
And I'm afraid because even though I now have experience, good feedback that I can rely on because of my last job... I more or less got employed there through the "back door" metaphorically speaking and before that it still had been 5 years that I had not worked in the Computer Assisted Drafting field and after two months since becoming unemployed(holding out for that client's project which never came)... I'm starting to dread the possibility of an interview.
And now... well, to even further drive the point home now.... my own brother who was part of the workshop's last team was laid off today alongside the rest of the team.
I know it's little compared to other's worries.Hell, I only have to look within my own family to look at people who've had it worst like one of my own deceased aunt. It kind of shame me that all of this is getting to me as it is now when I know what some others have gone through, none the least being this aunt or my own father when he gave up a well-paid job to become self-employed. Sometimes I wish I could have the same amount of self-confidence both had and have.
At least my brother and I are both both elligible for unemployment insurances(not sure what it goes by in the States if it exists) and such... I just wish I didn't had that other emotions stuff thing to deal with, and could stop being afraid with this job search, dreading those questions which might come in an interview especially with all I could have going FOR me.
It's just, it feels like there's so many things coming up all at once with little pause...
I might take this journal down later. I just needed to let it out because right now I'm just unsure who to go to for this anymore. I can't confide to my brother about the livestream's slowness as of late because at the end of the day it's just up to me to advertise more (and I'm thankful to
Foxenawolf for all the efforts she's already given in helping me with my livestream and art commissions) and in his eyes it would just be a matter to further add how much I need to "hook a real job again" even though I'm dreadfully aware I need to already. And the emotion stuff... even that I'm not sure how to cope with especially in his case it'd just lead to probably more of the same type of answers despite the differing subject even if I know it's thing only time can really do anything about. And no, this is not something I want to talk about here.
Hope things get better.
i think there's always something good to consider about the positives of the situation.(i do not mean that terrible approach people keep suggesting like HAHA CHEER UP, IT'S NOT THAT BAD, but more akin to what is possible from this, and which can improve.) even though it's a certain cliche and terrible advice, a terrific attitude always makes things seem a great deal better, and makes everyone else in vicinity feel pretty good too. I'm certain you're doing this already though bub!!
Secondly, the feeling of stress can be considered as a feeling to show that you care. this is pretty good! there's not a lot more things more admirable than something which someone is striving for. (this attitude does kinda show to everyone who witnesses it.)
Prob one of my fav song lyrics kinda sums up the situation of going in and out of depression; "(It)Took a long time to stand, took an hour to fall,"
Trying to keep pushing out of that situation is something that gives a feeling of worth i guess. Giving yourself a feeling of worth is something that really does make life keep on rolling.
IDK im probably speaking BALONEY but the feeling of despondence is something i don't really wish on anyone and really really hope things get better all the time for you bud!!