It's my Evolubirthday* (or evolution birthday) for my fursona. 11 years ago I became the demonwolf I am today.

(* This was supposed to go up on the 11th, but FA ran into some hiccups, hence the delay. No biggie though ^.^)

But let's take a step back and define fursona. To some it is merely an avatar, an online character associated with them. To others it is something they identify as similar to, or possessing those animal's traits. To others it is more spiritual, a totem of sorts...and it is this last catagory that I fall into.

When I first found the fandom, I was a simple timber wolf. Nothing special, nothing out of the ordinary, no neon orange cock with rainbow hair and electric tribal tattoos. It spoke to what I connected with inside. Wolves were always a favorite animal. (and dragons, but when it came down to a choice between them, wolves won). So...timber wolf.

A couple years later I had a vivid dream, in which I was a colt splashing hoof deep in a crystal clear pebbled lake in verdant valley. The dream remains as vivid now as it did when I was dreaming it, and when I woke I knew that the horse, or more specifically colt, was a part of me. It had always been, and had just then revealed itself. I couldn't explain it...it just felt RIGHT!

11 years ago...things were bad. Depression, moodyness, anger...I found myself lost...until I came across an image that sparked something inside me, made me want to be IT. Once again, like the colt, it just felt RIGHT! So I donned that new form...demon...it matched what I felt inside. Looking back at my Livejournal entries for that time, I cringe at how angsty, angry, dark I had become.

Here's a link to the image. http://www.furaffinity.net/view/12274059/

I tracked down the artist,  Jax, and asked if I could use that image as my fursona. Since it hadn't been done for anyone in particular, the artist said "Yes, go for it." I didn't ask him to name it Hunter, or to add my name to it, or to go around saying it was me. It was a personal decision, one that didn't require anyone's acknowledgment. The image spoke to me...and out of courtesy and respect to the artist, I simple asked for his permission to don that appearance, and that was all that was needed.

It took a little time for me to figure out what all this meant. Wolf, colt, demon...it all came together and my furevolution was complete. The wolf embodied everything good about me. The colt embodied everything playful and childlike, my hopes, dreams, fantasies. The demon was my darker side manifest, selfish, angry, destructive.

During this dark period 11 years ago, the wolf aspect of myself had retreated to lick his wounds and heal. He had supported me, given me strength, but things had gone too far and he had used up all he had. So, in order to support me, the demon took over, using this period to take control, to keep me going, while the wolf healed. The colt was allowed to come out and play on occassion, but the demon aspect was at the forefront.

When the wolf had healed, he claimed control back, and I was now a demonwolf. Not wolfdemon. Demonwolf, since the wolf was my primary aspect, my first, and the demon was supplemental. Demon and wolf were my physical form, the colt was my soul, my inner child. So, technically, demonwolfcolt...even though the colt was purely spiritual.

If you wanted to delve deeper...you could say demonwolfcolt with dragon legacy...but that just makes it sound too flashy. The dragon aspect is purely a remnant from when dragons and wolves vied for my favor. Like a child with his mother's nose, or father's chin, or somesuch, it doesn't define the child, but is merely a trait passed down.

This "dragon legacy" or rather, trait, is my love of collecting, hoarding, stuff! Books, action figures, underwear, porn...it is my desire to own this and this and this and that and stash it around me so I can be comforted by my "treasure".

Lastly, for anyone who has actually read this far down...thank you :)