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Update 04 Jan 2014 - Reflections on a Failed Philosophy
12 years ago
Happy New Year, everybody. RipRoarRex here.
So 2013 has gone. And with it, a resolution that I attempted to keep but with which I ultimately failed miserably throughout.
In case any of you missed my journal back in December 2012, I had made a bold decision that in 2013, I was going to go back to my cartoon style. It was in essence a bid to stop taking my artwork so seriously and hopefully produce more of it without going through a rollercoaster of apathy and frustration.
Regretfully, I came to the conclusion fairly quickly that this philosophy just wasn't working. I found that the notion of going back to my cartoon style was based on the misconception that my 'cartoon style' was anything of conscious substance. It was instead just a memory of the rather rubbish artwork I used to do back in 2007, and how quickly and easily I was consequently able to churn it out. Such art no longer has any appeal for me, and neither did the idea of ruining my newest ideas by not doing them artistic justice. In truth, of the pictures I did in 2013, the most appealing to me now are primarily the ones I spent the most time on.
As a result, I found myself spending most of the year feeling confused as to how much effort I should put into each picture, and invariably finding that I still couldn't be bothered. In sum, 2013 actually proved to be an enormously frustrating year for me artistically, and contrary to my ambitions of becoming more productive, I failed to deliver even a fraction of the work that I'd been hoping to create. Quality over quantity perhaps, but frustrating nonetheless.
Things were also complicated by what was a rather peculiar year for me as a whole. I spent the first six months suffering from what I suspect now was a dose of genuine depression, given that I had been out of work for a long time and was beginning to panic about my career prospects, not to mention my bank account. Then after getting my new job midway through the year, I found the second six months so busy that I struggled to do much of anything in my free time - all of which was far from conducive towards me being productive in artistic terms.
Something I should make clear, should anyone be curious or concerned - I do my artwork for me. It is not something I feel obliged to do by demand from the fandom, nor do I shackle myself with any notion of what the fandom expects of my artistic standard. But my art has become an outlet for me, hence I experience a personal frustration when I can't be productive. Worse still, I can't escape the fact that I also have rather demanding standards of myself - I struggle to feel much for any of my pictures if I didn't invest sufficient time and emotion in them.
Which brings me to 2014. And the question of where to go from here.
I don't want to give up doing artwork altogether, not least because I think it would actually annoy and depress me. I want to be more productive, but I fear I won't be able to do that unless I either lower my standards or invest significantly in developing some new methods to increase the speed and ease of my work. Sadly, I don't see either prospect as being particularly likely.
What I may need to do, and what I might try to do this year, is to be less controlling over the presentation of my artwork. Perhaps part of my problem has been this obsession with getting things 'finished' - many folks have suggested to me before that I should upload my sketches and rough work, but I have been very reluctant to do so for fear of it somehow detracting from the revelation of my finished pieces. Now I am beginning to re-evaluate that belief, however; perhaps regularly uploading my work in various stages of completion will give me a greater sense of productivity by sharing my work more often, whilst still motivating me to ultimately finish it to the standard I desire.
I have also been somewhat obsessed by the notion of chronology within my galleries. I haven't wanted to mix up my new work with old pieces of comparatively poorer standards, or to confuse the presentation of comics and compilations by uploading their individual components. Again, I'm led to speculate that a change in attitude on this front might help me, given that uploading old work or segments of previously-submitted pictures would keep my galleries ticking over amid sparse times and further that notion of increased productivity - even if it is false.
I have been thinking about all this over the last few days, and I might start experimenting with it over the next few weeks. As such, if you see lots of sketches, scraps or old artwork suddenly appearing on my profile, you can assume that I'm giving it a go.
Anyway, I shall bring my ramblings to a halt here, if nothing else because I'm confident most of my watchers either haven't bothered to read all this or don't really understand it anyway. If you have bothered to read and comprehend it, or wish to offer any words of advice or support, you're most welcome to do so. I shall take it on board.
Thanks guys. Here's hoping 2014 proves to be a better year.
RRRex
So 2013 has gone. And with it, a resolution that I attempted to keep but with which I ultimately failed miserably throughout.
In case any of you missed my journal back in December 2012, I had made a bold decision that in 2013, I was going to go back to my cartoon style. It was in essence a bid to stop taking my artwork so seriously and hopefully produce more of it without going through a rollercoaster of apathy and frustration.
Regretfully, I came to the conclusion fairly quickly that this philosophy just wasn't working. I found that the notion of going back to my cartoon style was based on the misconception that my 'cartoon style' was anything of conscious substance. It was instead just a memory of the rather rubbish artwork I used to do back in 2007, and how quickly and easily I was consequently able to churn it out. Such art no longer has any appeal for me, and neither did the idea of ruining my newest ideas by not doing them artistic justice. In truth, of the pictures I did in 2013, the most appealing to me now are primarily the ones I spent the most time on.
As a result, I found myself spending most of the year feeling confused as to how much effort I should put into each picture, and invariably finding that I still couldn't be bothered. In sum, 2013 actually proved to be an enormously frustrating year for me artistically, and contrary to my ambitions of becoming more productive, I failed to deliver even a fraction of the work that I'd been hoping to create. Quality over quantity perhaps, but frustrating nonetheless.
Things were also complicated by what was a rather peculiar year for me as a whole. I spent the first six months suffering from what I suspect now was a dose of genuine depression, given that I had been out of work for a long time and was beginning to panic about my career prospects, not to mention my bank account. Then after getting my new job midway through the year, I found the second six months so busy that I struggled to do much of anything in my free time - all of which was far from conducive towards me being productive in artistic terms.
Something I should make clear, should anyone be curious or concerned - I do my artwork for me. It is not something I feel obliged to do by demand from the fandom, nor do I shackle myself with any notion of what the fandom expects of my artistic standard. But my art has become an outlet for me, hence I experience a personal frustration when I can't be productive. Worse still, I can't escape the fact that I also have rather demanding standards of myself - I struggle to feel much for any of my pictures if I didn't invest sufficient time and emotion in them.
Which brings me to 2014. And the question of where to go from here.
I don't want to give up doing artwork altogether, not least because I think it would actually annoy and depress me. I want to be more productive, but I fear I won't be able to do that unless I either lower my standards or invest significantly in developing some new methods to increase the speed and ease of my work. Sadly, I don't see either prospect as being particularly likely.
What I may need to do, and what I might try to do this year, is to be less controlling over the presentation of my artwork. Perhaps part of my problem has been this obsession with getting things 'finished' - many folks have suggested to me before that I should upload my sketches and rough work, but I have been very reluctant to do so for fear of it somehow detracting from the revelation of my finished pieces. Now I am beginning to re-evaluate that belief, however; perhaps regularly uploading my work in various stages of completion will give me a greater sense of productivity by sharing my work more often, whilst still motivating me to ultimately finish it to the standard I desire.
I have also been somewhat obsessed by the notion of chronology within my galleries. I haven't wanted to mix up my new work with old pieces of comparatively poorer standards, or to confuse the presentation of comics and compilations by uploading their individual components. Again, I'm led to speculate that a change in attitude on this front might help me, given that uploading old work or segments of previously-submitted pictures would keep my galleries ticking over amid sparse times and further that notion of increased productivity - even if it is false.
I have been thinking about all this over the last few days, and I might start experimenting with it over the next few weeks. As such, if you see lots of sketches, scraps or old artwork suddenly appearing on my profile, you can assume that I'm giving it a go.
Anyway, I shall bring my ramblings to a halt here, if nothing else because I'm confident most of my watchers either haven't bothered to read all this or don't really understand it anyway. If you have bothered to read and comprehend it, or wish to offer any words of advice or support, you're most welcome to do so. I shall take it on board.
Thanks guys. Here's hoping 2014 proves to be a better year.
RRRex
The part where he mentioned that he does this more for himself (as an outlet) rather than "for the fandom" as he put it, makes me feel as if he could truly care less for whether or not his watchers/etc. will still enjoy him. Although I do agree that he shouldn't be so hard on himself~ <3
About artwork, Im not really an artist, so, maybe you dont take my suggestion in mind, but your art is awesome, and was awesome, past or present, was not really how much detail an efford you put on them, is what ideas you shared with all your fans and viewers in your art.
and yes, maybe your art had an amazing improvement, and that make you upload less art for put a lot of efort in a pic, but you did that because you wanted to show your maximum level of skills in each pic, but not all the things are details, and all that, but you dont need to leave it at all.
you can continue doing pics in cartoon style, and once in a while upload a very detailed pic like this ones, but there's where your time come in play, the elss time you have, then you need to spend less time in your pics, and do them look cartoonish, and in vacations, when you have more time to spend, you can upload one or 2 detailed pics, dont depress for the art and that od detailed or cartoonish, like a big fan of you, and follower of your artwork and progress.
I say quality doesnt matter to me, just draw what you want to show us, and dont worry about HD details =) we gonna love your artwork, and we will be happy to wait for your next piece of artowrk++so dont give up, and keep your head up Rex
Thanks anyway, Tyranosaur.
Like, you work based in your mood and like you said for your own. That is completely not produtive. And If let yourself enter in a depression, you will never do a pic again.
You said you don't want to give up, so give to yourself reason to keep going. Even making art for youself, you got a public that have a same taste of you about this fandom and like a lot your art. If not, this gallery would be empty and you probably would make your pic and just save in a folder and not posting here and even not posting this journal.
Maybe I'm being nosy (cuz I'm really am), but keep worry about some stuff will not help.
About post sketch, if you don't find usefull, don't post. Use it to remeber a project you started, but didn't finished will onle make you sad. I got a lot of ideas that I discarted, cuz was too big or I wasn't able to do or just find it stupid after sometime. I prefer to spend my time with this I really liked and I'm sure will get good. EVen if just I think it. Today I got a good idea for a comic, then I decide to use my free time to get motived and finish it before get lazy agian. And it's done, I just need to color it.
I'm not sure about you personal life, cuz the only if I got is the things you post, but I can't talk about what I see in your art.
If you really draw just to yourself then don't for my opinion and keep doing what you think is right, is nice, make you feel better. You wanted to go back to you previous and didn't work? Too bad, this kind of thing happens. At least you discover more about yourself and about you actuall art style.
2014 just started and you a long way til 2015. You this time fore everything. Your life, your art, yoursel, new thing, some old stuff. Just be sure to not get down by some stupid depresion again. Cuz now is just a mood problem, everyone got. But if you keep going like that I'm can even think the worse and imagine you getting sick or something like that.
So you post this journal and I post my opinion. Hope see you again during this year and see you next time
You're a hard worker and you do deserve to pat yourself on the back for keeping that chin up and being optimistic even if things don't flow the way you want things to flow.
Maybe try asking other artists to see how they handle pressure or other flaws that need to be practiced on.
I know when I used to do music making, one of the biggest flaws was just not finishing the pieces. Sure they sounded amazing and all, but it was just short and you can tell it wasn't finished!
I hope you find the path you're looking for that leads you to less stress / pressure , and make yourself stronger :)
We're all here for you man!
- Carcar
If the wish of being more productive comes from the pressure of thousands of watchers...just take it off. Take your time to finish your art as you like! It's just like you said: you do your artwork for you! We can't ask more than seeing the results...
I'd like to give my advise...save if you see that as part of your working ethics...you shouldn't personalizedly reply to all coments. I believe it would save you a lot of time, time for you to apply on your drawings!
But thanks anyway. The productivity issue isn't about having watchers - it's about me wishing I could get the ideas out of my head and into some visible form.
I personally think that you shouldn't give us an idea of what you're going to draw because that would spoil the amazement of your work. I would be pleasantly surprised whenever I would see something from you. But maybe that means that I should avoid looking at your scraps folder for now but that others can look at your segments and tell you what they think about them. It's ultimately up to you though.
I know many artists here who go on a hiatus and don't upload a single thing for about 6 months to a year but that means that they're going at their own pace and so should you. I think that you should work at a certain pace you're most comfortable with & that works for you but if you want to change that then go right ahead.
No matter what, there's going to be many people here that adore your artwork and I would know because I'm one of them. Don't attack yourself on what happen last year, because it's in the past. Look onward at the new year and at the potential of the projects you may want to do but most importantly above everything else, be happy RRRex.
Good luck.
Not being an artist (but being a 'content creator' for lack of a better term, I do a lot of YouTube videos) I'm not sure I can fully empathize with your situation here but, I'd just like to say, from reading this and some of your previous journals and the commentary you put on your uploaded pics, you *really* need to loosen up a bit. I think you're over-thinking everything a lot and dwelling on making it perfect and such, when in reality (if I may speak for the majority here) I think most of us are just damned impressed and delighted with your artwork and creations in general.
Seriously, I don't think any of us have been unsupportive of you in your various funks, it's been a long time since you've started arting and I must say it's always a delight and a pleasure to see one of your pics uploaded. It doesn't even have to be the raunchy stompy stuff. I think you really need to give yourself more credit for your talents and abilities and try not to be so inherently judgmental on yourself. I know that's hard to do as a content creator because I'm sure you feel like the world is judging your worth based on the quality of your output. But really, I think many of us would be proud to be a tenth as good as you are.
Hopefully this doesn't come off as rambling, nonsensical 'cheer-up' trite. I'm really hoping you'll find this encouraging and maybe try not to be so hard on yourself. Your artwork is fantastic. To be honest, it took me a while myself to get over the 'hump' of imperfections as it were, sort of the 'oh I messed up in this place I'm sure everyone will notice it' sort of way. It turns out that the vast majority of your audience won't ever know unless you point it directly out that you made a mistake on X and Y. And that was a big thing for me to get over, it's a bit different making videos because it all happens so fast and it's harder to go back and just touch up one spot like in art. But I think it's a similar over-all experience that I can relate to you, that you just need to relax and not judge yourself overtly critically.
I know that I, myself, am just happy to see you posting things, I don't pore over it with a magnifying glass looking for every possible flaw. And I'm sure most of your other fans are like that too. We'd just like to see you relax and post more naturally. I know that's easier said than done, and I'm not an artist as I mentioned, but hopefully my thoughts on the matter at least provide a little enlightenment for you and your situation.
As always, good to hear from you.
Cheers,
Trick the Fox
Oh no, I don't think like this at all. I'm not one of those sorts to invest my self-worth or self-esteem in whether others think I draw good furry smut. This is about how I judge myself and my ability - nothing to do with anyone else or the fandom in general - and like many others, I am my own worst critic. I know I'm a good artist, but like everything else I do in life, I want to be better at it, and as much as I often end up focusing on my faults as a result, it has spurred me on to improve considerably over the years.
Either way, I appreciate your support. You are right, I do overthink it all - as many have told me before - but that is not something I can simply switch off.
Also thanks for replying, I hope my comments were worth your time.