Leaving off from my second online mate mate, I found someone new who I managed to take a liking to, someone who actually lived in America. His name was Lobo and the catch was he was straight, but it didn't stop him from treating me like a mate anyway. We would role play intimately for hours causing me to stay up the whole night at times. This was the first guy I could actually picture myself being with in real life, he made me feel extremely special. He then told me that if he were ever to turn bi, that I would be his first choice as a mate. This statement gave me hope, so much so that I copy and saved that quote. Unfortunately there was someone else pining for his affection as well.

On F2F there was this guy named B. Cadizzle who would try to seduce Lobo as much as he could (ya know, thru text). Lobo assured me that they weren't an item, but a part of me knew better. As the weeks went on I became paranoid, anxious and couldn't sleep too well. It got so bad that my family members cold see it in my eyes and I felt worse because I had no one to talk to about what was going on. I wanted to keep my faith that Lobo wouldn't lie to me, but something inside me knew the truth. Eventually our role plays lead to the theme of sex which he said he hadn't done with another guy before. At the time my cousin had just given birth to her first child which gave me the idea of conceiving a few pups of our own.

There were two boy cubs Tamaska and Frostfur, and a girl named Twilight. Between us we had a family and even tho it wasn't real, it made me feel happy. Lobo might have not been my mate, but he was my sugarwolf. He invited me to go to Anthrocon since he lived in Pittsburgh for school at the time, without him I probably wouldn't have considered going. Things were too good to be true...because they weren't. Not long after my 18th birthday, B. announce that Lobo and him were officially a couple which Lobo didn't deny. I was devastated and hurt badly, this was the moment I stopped taking everything online seriously and refused to trust people right away.

It took me a long time to recover, I held so much anger with me, but when I did I became a stronger person for it. Looking back on how things played out, it explains why my personality is so blunt today, I refuse to waste my time on people who aren't worth it. Eventually I got to confront the two of them face to face, but that's a story for another time.