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A modest proposal.
16 years ago
You know, I always kind of wondered about furries on the Internet. This has to be one of the biggest ass-kissing fandoms in the world, where you can complain about just about anything and there will still be hoards of weepy do-gooders around the corner to console you by sobbing dutifully on your journal, despite the fact that you're being a spineless, self-absorbed, socially retarded little asshole.
So, why is is every Valentine's Day, there's a bunch of journals posted about how people hate the holiday and they don't have anyone to be with? You've got an Intertube dumptruck's worth of fur fans advertising their singleness like a type II supernova, and these people still can't manage to hook up with each other.
So, here's my idea... FA needs an automated matchmaking service. Every Valentines Day, there should be a bot of some sort that searches journals and highlights entries containing a specific combination of such tell-tale key phrases like "lonely", "single", "not bitter", and "BAAAAAWWWW!!!" Then, it superimposes a copy of the journal onto a Fender-approved, pre-fabricated Valentine's Day card complete with hearts, roses, and maybe a few cocks for good measure (this being FA and all). The bot would then send copies of this heartfelt craft of affection to everyone else who whined that they didn't get laid over the last 12 months since their last implication of impotence.
Preferably, people would be roughly paired by age bracket to help weed out the zit-faced teenage emos who really should be doing something more productive than dating, such as working on their overdue book report on the popular plastic surgery choices of aging yuppies. The sex and gender of "volunteers" would be irrelevant, of course, since FA doesn't actually record that information, obviously because it is of no interest to furries at all.
I call it the Tunnel Vision of Love.
Now, in other news, my birthday is on the 18th! Yay!
On Wednesday, which I will be celebrating single, I'll be a lonely 31 years old. But, I'm not bitter about it. BAAAAAWWWW!!!
So, why is is every Valentine's Day, there's a bunch of journals posted about how people hate the holiday and they don't have anyone to be with? You've got an Intertube dumptruck's worth of fur fans advertising their singleness like a type II supernova, and these people still can't manage to hook up with each other.
So, here's my idea... FA needs an automated matchmaking service. Every Valentines Day, there should be a bot of some sort that searches journals and highlights entries containing a specific combination of such tell-tale key phrases like "lonely", "single", "not bitter", and "BAAAAAWWWW!!!" Then, it superimposes a copy of the journal onto a Fender-approved, pre-fabricated Valentine's Day card complete with hearts, roses, and maybe a few cocks for good measure (this being FA and all). The bot would then send copies of this heartfelt craft of affection to everyone else who whined that they didn't get laid over the last 12 months since their last implication of impotence.
Preferably, people would be roughly paired by age bracket to help weed out the zit-faced teenage emos who really should be doing something more productive than dating, such as working on their overdue book report on the popular plastic surgery choices of aging yuppies. The sex and gender of "volunteers" would be irrelevant, of course, since FA doesn't actually record that information, obviously because it is of no interest to furries at all.
I call it the Tunnel Vision of Love.
Now, in other news, my birthday is on the 18th! Yay!
On Wednesday, which I will be celebrating single, I'll be a lonely 31 years old. But, I'm not bitter about it. BAAAAAWWWW!!!
Otherwise i really do wish everybody a happy valentines day; just a couple things about this last year that make me wish it would go away -n-;;
This led to the mental image of a couple of VFW guys from WWII in a passionate liplock.
I need to go bleach my brain now, thank you very much.
BEER GETS
No, seriously, THIS is the kind of forward thinking that would get FA moving in the right direction. :3
Also, happy birthday a few days early. Cheers.
I am very angry now, for this journal must be +Fav'd.
Thing is; it can be easy to find someone with similar interests. The only thing that sucks is convenience. The last Valentine I had lived in England!!
So if only there was another furry girl here in CA; more like So Cal then it would be easier.
But your idea has merit. It could work. I REALLY like your proposal.
FA used as a love-seeking site...
I just threw up a little in my mouth...
I have no human honeys, but I do have FA's bunnies!
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/259588/
But the best part is, THIS cake isn't a lie.
(two weeks later) Not even one??? Damn.
"I'm pretty sure it's because we want the kind of girl who doesn't want anything to do with guys like us."
-- Baldo
"BAAAAWWWW! My room mate ate the last cheese single so my sandwich was a little lonely... Well with a little butter on the bread, at least it was not bitter..." {you have 10 new hook ups!}
Anyway, hope you have a fun and happy B-day.
but most people of fa arent looking for love, there looking for companionship and 'recreation.' the service might provide that.
it might actually be possible to build such a database; and even search for relevant information on sexual preference, as most furries do end up posting that information somewhere.
the problem is that there are so many of these people it would take the most massive server ever conceived by man to hold this data-base, and I'm not entirely sure that even that would be enough.
From what I can tell, Valentine's Day seems to suggest "Do something special today or you're f**ked!"
But what if you're an aging yuppie who's looking for a zit-faced emo teenager? Didja ever think of that? Hmm?
I do have to admit, though, that I'd completely forget about V-day if it wasn't for all the hoopla.
1) its the internet - so distances can be.... huge - i prefer people max 50 miles from where i lives
2) add in oddbal fetishes that surface amongst furries...
3) add in that not all furries are physically that atractive (just because the fursona is slim and sexy... doesn't mean the owner is)
4) see 1), imagine plane ticket cost...
I've also seen some fursonas that have pretty good body-type translations as well.
Still, it would be interesting to see a site focused around the whole idea. It would be fun to browse as well.
and who on earth would, even on such a site, declare their more 'negative' aspects? nobody - or at least nobody smart - sells themselves badly
I mean, I'd much rather get some of my "quirks" out in the open, rather than dealing with BS and awkward moments later.