Some Important Thoughts on the Holiday Shopping Season and Related Issues:

--We are too materialistic. We all know this, yet we still perpetuate our own materialism anyway. Why? Is it because we don't know any other way? Is it because corporations have studied every psychological angle of sales to trick us into spend against our better judgment? Maybe if we started learning how to genuinely be thankful every day (and not just as a November practice), then we would have the strength of mind to resist buying more useless crap we don't need. Research mindfulness and gratitude practices that you can start every day--you can start small, and the results can be quite powerful.

--While the holiday shopping season may be a bastion of capitalism that helps keep our economy moving, this doesn't mean it has to be the pandemonium seen year after year that results in the violent crime we see time and time again. Our own well-being should take precedence over our economy, and if there is a part of our economic model that is hurting us instead of serving us, we need to take a long, hard, considered look at how we can fix it.

--If you do shop during the holiday season (or any other time of year), just be civil and respectful to everyone, whether they are another customer or an employee. You don't have to lose your cool just because things aren't going exactly as you want them. We suffer because we are comparing the world as it is to an idealized version of the world in our heads--the world as we wish it to be. Learn to accept what is and you will be much more at peace.

--The above doesn't mean to be a doormat, but do remember that someone else's poor behavior is something they have to live with. Unless that person's bad behavior is hurting someone else, you probably needn't intervene or let it get to you. If you do feel the need to intervene, be kind. You won't defeat someone else's bad attitude with a bad attitude yourself, no matter how readily your brain wants you to get defensive. Try to be understanding. The holidays are often stressful on all of us in some way or another, so that person may just be undergoing more stress than they can currently handle.

--If you are a customer service employee this holiday season, remember that yes, some customers can be unwieldy, and you may not be getting paid enough, but it is your job to represent the company you work for. Everybody's job has parts they don't like, even for people who overall love the work they do for a living, and having to grin and bear the brunt of appalling customer behavior while remaining professional yourself is a part of your job you will likely hate.

--Just like with the above advice to customers, this does not mean you as an employee must become a doormat. There is a limit to what is acceptable behavior from customers or coworkers (yes, even your superiors). If you honestly feel that you are being disrespected and treated with an utter lack of dignity and compassion, then speak up and say so in as professional and non-confrontational a way as you can. You are no less of a human being just because you're working retail/customer service. Just remember what I said before about stress. If you can diffuse difficult situations with grace and learn to empathize with someone else's concerns, taking in their point of view while simultaneously helping them understand your own, you will be able to carry such skills throughout all your life (and will likely impress your superiors).

--As Black Friday keeps starting earlier and earlier, many retail employees are forced to forgo any family celebrations they may have had planned to start working Thursday evening. If we as consumers simply boycotted such early sales, corporations would stop robbing their employees of quality holiday time.

--For people who want to rebut the above point with "get another job," the "find something else" argument is only applicable when there is a strong job market and an educational system that adequately prepares each wave of graduates with the necessary social and technical skills needed to find employment elsewhere. Both of those qualities are currently lacking in our society, and it's not until we turn our economy around and implement social/emotional learning into our schools that this will change.

--Some people will have to work on Thanksgiving and/or Christmas regardless of how our retail world works. Some jobs, such as emergency services (police, firefighters, EMTs and ERs), caregivers, utility workers, the military, and others keep our society running as smoothly as possible 365 days a year, so respect the fact that some non-retail people will still be missing their families this year on the holidays, because these are jobs that simply need doing no matter what day of the year it happens to be.

--Don't turn the holiday season into a political movement or semantics argument just because of a holiday greeting you receive. Whether someone wishes you "Merry Christmas," "Happy Holidays," or anything else, the exact wording isn't nearly as important as the spirit of kindness and compassion being extended to you. We all celebrate these holidays in our own ways, but the biggest, universal theme we should remember is one of unity and love for ALL people, regardless of our differences. Don't let perceived differences keep your heart at bay from receiving the kindness of strangers. This is the time of year to set aside differences and remember how much we have in common with one another, and wanting to feel loved and accepted is one of those commonalities.

--And finally, as an alternative idea for the standard Christmas wish list: Whenever your loved ones ask you for a Christmas wish list, give them instead a list of all the goals you want to achieve for your own life over the next few years. Tell them that the gifts you want are whatever may help you achieve those goals. It doesn't always have to be something they buy, as it can also be something they do for you (connecting you with the right people, helping you organize a dedicated workspace, teaching you a skill you want to learn, or whatever else).

Take care, and have a great holiday season everyone!