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Thoughts on leaving the fandom.
10 years ago
I see it all the time; good folks declaring that "it's time to grow up and leave this fandom."
Suddenly they're gone. All that remains is a fur ball under the bed and a fake tail
tossed haphazardly into a trashcan.
Their story always contains a common thread and it never fails to give me droopy ears.
Seems that there is a pervasive misconception that being a furry somehow makes you
juvenile, irresponsible and unable to become a successful, productive adult.
Even inside the fandom, many believe that being a fur is something to hide from the world
at large. No real names, no sharing this joy with friends and family, reduced to living the fur life in the
shadows of everyday life.
We have some self image issues here, gang.
Let me assure you that this mindset is misinformed at best; it just ain't so!
In my way of thinking, being a furry compliments being a well rounded, contributory member of
society. Who the hell wants to live in a world where adults are reduced to bland automatons, unable to
participate in imaginary thought, scoffing at the dreams of others, never seeing past the wall
of the empirical?
Not me. I want to wag freely and be a talking dog whenever I please.
With whomever I please.
Plastered all over social media if possible...
I want my mind left free to explore, and I want to engage in childish flights of fancy.
I firmly believe that this fandom saved my sanity in so many ways, and I can't imagine life without y'all
and my stupid animal costumes.
Of course, one must keep the blade of silly fun tempered in the heat of hard reality.
You gotta work and work and know when to be real. It'd be fun to fursuit, drink beer
and chase tennis balls all day, but the bank won't accept that as a mortgage payment.
So here's the deal: if you feel like being a pretend animal is holding you back, take a hard look at yourself
and take the time to dissect your life. Reaching your goals may mean that you spend less time browsing
FA and more time taking notes in the classroom, but does it mean that you have to give up cultivating
your imagination?
No.
Life demands balance.
Balance means the scales have equal weight on both sides.
One side is hard work and reality, but the other side is a sweaty guy in a dog costume with an ear to ear grin.
So don't leave.
We love you and want you to stay.
We also want you to be a successful human.
Why not both?
Suddenly they're gone. All that remains is a fur ball under the bed and a fake tail
tossed haphazardly into a trashcan.
Their story always contains a common thread and it never fails to give me droopy ears.
Seems that there is a pervasive misconception that being a furry somehow makes you
juvenile, irresponsible and unable to become a successful, productive adult.
Even inside the fandom, many believe that being a fur is something to hide from the world
at large. No real names, no sharing this joy with friends and family, reduced to living the fur life in the
shadows of everyday life.
We have some self image issues here, gang.
Let me assure you that this mindset is misinformed at best; it just ain't so!
In my way of thinking, being a furry compliments being a well rounded, contributory member of
society. Who the hell wants to live in a world where adults are reduced to bland automatons, unable to
participate in imaginary thought, scoffing at the dreams of others, never seeing past the wall
of the empirical?
Not me. I want to wag freely and be a talking dog whenever I please.
With whomever I please.
Plastered all over social media if possible...
I want my mind left free to explore, and I want to engage in childish flights of fancy.
I firmly believe that this fandom saved my sanity in so many ways, and I can't imagine life without y'all
and my stupid animal costumes.
Of course, one must keep the blade of silly fun tempered in the heat of hard reality.
You gotta work and work and know when to be real. It'd be fun to fursuit, drink beer
and chase tennis balls all day, but the bank won't accept that as a mortgage payment.
So here's the deal: if you feel like being a pretend animal is holding you back, take a hard look at yourself
and take the time to dissect your life. Reaching your goals may mean that you spend less time browsing
FA and more time taking notes in the classroom, but does it mean that you have to give up cultivating
your imagination?
No.
Life demands balance.
Balance means the scales have equal weight on both sides.
One side is hard work and reality, but the other side is a sweaty guy in a dog costume with an ear to ear grin.
So don't leave.
We love you and want you to stay.
We also want you to be a successful human.
Why not both?
Thank you so much for reading!
such a negative impact on your life, then I agree it's time for a change.
I'm really sorry about your friend!
I could never leave this crazy place and all you lovely folks.
And for the lovely comment.
We are both nurses to different species, so I appreciate your hard work very much.
Life is all about balance, and there is no reason not to have silly fun when the situation dictates.
Thank you for the lovely comment!
I'll post some more, I promise!
All in all this was very well written Mr. Bomb. Kudos. :)
I could never leave y'all. You're part of me now!
Dogbomb, I'm probably one of the most uptight people on FA when it comes to being open about my being here, and your advice above makes me wish I could loosen up and embrace the world as you do. The odds of me changing are remote at best, but I still feel an amazing sense of wonder that you and I live in the same world (somewhat the same area!) and see it in such different ways. Yours is how I would chose if I were able to do so.
I will be a bland automaton, but your enlightenment and freedom of self will always tug at me to be a better person. Thank you for being you and sharing who you are. :3
You know I could never leave; this place has me hooked!
I'd wager you are anything but bland, and I'm 100% confident that you make the
world a brighter place just by being here. Thank you again for your kind words.
You are most appreciated!
This is for your mom:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8OXMxniRJy0
fursuiting in church
I'm sorry your mom feels that way.
Sometimes the best you can do is to respect other people's views,
and continue on your own path without fuss or fanfare.
Thank you for taking the time to read my lengthy journal.
There's a difference between being childish and being childlike.
If you find yourself surrounded by *childish* people--people who are self-absorbed, impulsive, greedy, unethical, whiny, fearful, avoidant, spiteful, entitled, or prone to drama-mongering--then by all means, pull up stakes and find a different, more mature group of people to socialize with.
(I say this because I sometimes see people threaten to leave the fandom because they dislike or are irritated by the *childish* people in their immediate furry circle. My feeling is that many of these people have made the fatal mistake of projecting the qualities of that social circle on the entire fandom, often because they haven't explored or aren't aware of other social groups. They've also often failed to ask themselves *why* they might keep falling in with or running into the same types of tiresome people.)
If you are concerned about your own childish habits or tendencies, by all means, confront these attitudes or behaviors, and try to change them.
Being *childlike,* in contrast, is about being capable of spontaneity, playfulness, authenticity, wonder, and awe.
I'd say that the wisest and most mature people I know are also, in many cases, some of the most playful and childlike people I know, because they are secure in themselves, and this sense of confidence and self-security has freed them up to be more open and spontaneous.
As a fursuiter, I notice that it's the deeply-insecure and anxious "faux-mature" people who refuse to play with me, because they have an intense and desperate need to "prove" that they are Real Adults™. Theirs is a papier-mache maturity; fragile, flimsy, all artifice, easily undermined or destroyed.
I also notice that the people who make the biggest production of finding furries "disgusting, "faggy" and "babyish" often radiate profound bitterness, insecurity, fear, and unhappiness from beneath their facade of hip cynicism and "too-cool-for-school"-ness.
I'd argue that effective play, channeled well, can help people to become more self-aware, ethical, caring, conscientious, and wise---qualities we typically look for in people we see as mature, evolved, or advanced.
Great post, great reply!
I agree with everything you said, and I would like to retract my "childish" statement and
replace it with "childlike", because I can see there is an important difference.
"I'd argue that effective play, channeled well, can help people to become more self-aware, ethical, caring, conscientious, and wise---qualities we typically look for in people we see as mature, evolved, or advanced."
-This is one of the greatest sentences I've ever read!
You are a prime example of what is right with this fandom, and the
poster boy for a balanced life.
Keep doing what you do, and setting the example for how to do it right.
I love to see kids raised with an awareness that it's healthy and appropriate for
adults to have fun and be silly.
We need more parents like you!
I couldn't imagine leaving because I could never leave something that
is an integral part of me. If you are able to walk away and never look back,
it is possible that you were here for the wrong reasons.
Thank you for the comment!
You made this mutt wag.
What you have said, so beautifully, needed to be said.
I continue to learn things from you sir. Although the fandom is, for me as well, something which keeps me sane, I'm still learning to open it up to the rest of my life. I realized that, finally, all of my close friends and family now know, and a limited number of coworkers, which is good. I aspire to the way you handle it. And just like I now walk city streets in my suit, having learned from you, I look forward to reaching your level of openness of your furriness. *hugs*
People like you give this fandom a good name and you are one of the big reasons
that I am happy to associate myself with this group.
Are there warts and unsightly blemishes?
Yes.
But really, I'm proud of those, too. They prove that this group is open.
accepting and loving, and those are the qualities I am most thankful for.
I've also noticed more people leave because their interest wanes rather than they're worried about their image. And in that case, I can't really blame them. No one should feel pressured to stay in a community they don't enjoy.
That being said, it does make me sad when people leave the fandom. It doesn't happen often but I always have to remind myself that it's their right and they're not here for my entertainment lol
I was referring to those that leave because they want to engage in the "adult world" exclusively,
leaving childlike imagination behind, and
are under the assumption that one precludes the other.
My point is that both are necessary to be a balanced person, and like you
I am sad when they do leave.
I hope many come back in later years to recreate a positive part of life.
Thank you for the great comment!
I'm glad you're still here!
But yeah I don't think I could ever really leave. I may not always be contributing as much as I am now, but I love this place too much and have made too many friends here to really leave.
As a 46 year old furry and fursuiter, I echo Dogbomb's comments about balance and having fun. I don't hide the fact that I'm furry, but I don't shove it in people's faces. My phone background is Tonka and me in fursuit. My address labels and checks have Maximus on them. When people see my phone or a conversation offers an opening to show them my suit, I pounce on it and have nearly universally received more questions and smiles. It's a LOT of fun to go out fursuiting in public and always end up posing for lots of pics with folks. It's good stuff. Embrace your inner fur. It's part of you and you need to let it enhance your life, not control it or cause you undue stress.
I love your comment, and I love that you are a proud and productive fursuiter.
Good on you, sir. Keep doing what you do because you make me excited to be here!
Serious, that's high praise coming from you, good sir. I really appreciate
you taking the time to read, and for being a big reason why I'm proud to be here.
Thank you, Dog, for being an inspiration. :)
I am most honored that I wrote something personally relevant.
That means a lot to me!
Keep on being a great part of this fandom. The future of this group
rests with folks such as you!
Most good things in life do not run parallel; they do indeed overlap.
Thank you so much for the great comment.
I do try hard to do both, and I always appreciate your comments and support.
I really appreciate it!
Balance is difficult art to master, and I work on it everyday.
Thanks for helping to make my life more imaginative and balanced.
Anyway, you got some very profound thoughts here about how people relate to the fandom, as usual. When I read journals of people wanting to "leave the fandom", I usually get the impression they are burned out, have been on dozens of cons, and don't expect anything "new" anymore from the fandom asides sweating in their fursuit and getting drunk at room parties. I can't really say much about that, since my first con is still ahead of me, but for me it seems to have something to do with habits and routine that slowly squelch the important imagination you mentioned in some people. Let's have that not happen
As for being a furry all over family, friends, and social media, I see your point, undoubtedly. And yet, not all of us are family-friendly fursuiters like you who can be out and proud in the public, but instead artists who happen to concentrate on the rather adult side of the fandom. Most of what I and many other artists here create is not exactly Facebook-suitable. Our society has in general a rather prim relationship with erotic material, and putting an animalistic spin on it doesn't exactly help...so that's why some of us may be reluctant to say "I'm a furry!", since the question may follow "...what does that mean for you?" to which the answer "I draw cartoon animals doing it" might not be the best of introductions to the uninitiated.
Other than that, I'm completely with you: one can be grounded in reality AND be a silly dog on occasion, and I can't think of a better example than you
There is a side to the fandom that is perhaps better left to the initiated,
and I see no reason to share that as the first encounter a non-fur might have.
Just like any group, we have a vast spectrum of interpretations, and I actually
like that aspect very much. Diversity is interesting and fun!
Thanks for the great comment. I shall keep doing what I do because
of the inspiration of folks like you.
Yes there are furries that need to go away, that need to pay for their wrongs against others. i personally have a list of furs that i would rather cut their throat than to acknowledge their existence. The way you feel, there are others that feel the same way and they too are hesitant in reaching out due to being treated like a stepping stone to Pop-u-furity.
I happen to love this crazy bunch of folks, warts and all,
and I'm glad that you're here.
but in my experience the vast majority of people that I associate with
are honest, trustworthy and forthcoming.
I think there may be a tad more drama around here than I'd like,'
but typically it's easy to ignore.
Thank you for the great comment. I hope you re-discover the fun
that the fandom can offer.
Excellent points, perfectly articulated. ^^
Thank you so much for taking the time to read!
I hope you are able to achieve your goals and still have time
for fun. Now go hit those books!
This kind of thought process will serve you well throughout life.
You gotta know when to work and when to have fun.
Thanks for the great comment.
1) A research project revealed that from kindergarten to college/university graduation, people increasingly stop smiling in the picture that are taken of them at each step.
2) As people grow mentally OLD, they very often give up what makes them happy and run their lives according to what they think other people approve of.
3) “Immature” is a word that boring people use to categorize fun people.
talking about. Never subscribe to numbers 1 and 2, and make sure
number 3 does not limit your ability to have fun as you see fit.
Thank you so much for the great comment!
I wish I could fave journals!
I'm always proud to call myself a fur, and I hope
you can find the same kind of empowerment.
Cheers and thanks for the great comment.
Well said! Being an adult to me means living a life that is
in balance, with equal emphasis being placed on creative fun
and productive work to achieve one's goals.
Thank you so much for the great comment!
for taking the time to read. I really appreciate it.
You Are A Big Inspiration To Furries Everywhere Never Lose That Passion * Hugs Thankfully *
Always be proud of who you are, and
represent your group affiliations with the
pride that they, and you, deserve.
Thank you so much for the great comment!
for taking the time to read. I really appreciate it!
So very, very much "This!!". You rock, Dogbomb!
Keep on rockin'!
and the gas company won't take role playing as payment.
Thank you so much for the great comment!
I appreciate you taking the time to read.
from a group if it is toxic or has a negative impact on your life.
I think sometimes we have a hard time saying "no" to people,
especially, as you pointed out, since this group tends to be tight knit.
Moving along to a different slice of the fandom seems to be a good bet
for a lot of folks.
Thank you so much for the great comment!
can i repost this journal????
Though I'll admit, when I read the title I got scared you were leaving us. Sad day for the community to lose one of its best!
You know I could never leave y'all.
Too much fun to be had here!
Thank you again for the great comment.
for taking the time to read. I really appreciate it.
Thank you for taking the time to put the "pass time fandom" and real life on the balance scale! So many young members have a hard time believing that FA or fandom is NOT the whole world...... maybe your post might help one member from forgetting fandom is for enjoyment.....but life is outside the fandom.
Yup, you and I know from *ahem* experience that life demands balance in all things.
Thanks for the great comment and for just being you!
however much their friends wish they would.Sports fans wear their team affiliations openly on their hats and shirts.
Shiners parade through the streets, wearing fezes, playing loud instruments and driving little cars.
And none of those are free from creepy dorkwads. Drama and childishness are not Furry things, they're human things, (alas!) You find them everywhere; run from them in Furry, you'll meet them again at work.
So why should we be ashamed of our fandom?
Very well said; this fandom is no different from any other part of society when it comes
to drama and hurt feelings. I do think, however, that we are also more loving and
accepting of all different types than the population at large.
Thank you for taking the time to read and elaborate. I'm sure glad you're here!
...and yeah, "Shiners" was supposed to be Shriners.
and for the great comment. I really appreciate it!
society."
HA
Just saying...
and for the great comment. I really appreciate it!
All we can do is to be proud of our individuality and
interpretation. Let the world judge how it pleases!
Thank you for the great comment. I wish
more folks in this world shared that point of view.
You summed up my feelings that this is a fun group,
the operative word here being fun, and fun is an
intricate and important part of a happy life.
Thank you for taking the time to read my crap!
The public actions of a few tarnish the public image for
the rest of us.
Yes, I have had some awkward conversations with people
who think we're all here just for sex, but I try and let my actions
speak louder than baseless perceptions.
I am so happy that there are folks like you to prove me right.
in any group, and I've been lucky enough to surround myself
with some wonderful people.
Keep on doing what you love, and thank you for being here!
I really applaud your actions and how you choose to
represent yourself and the rest of the fandom.
Great work and keep on doing what you do!
We all evolve as we move along in life, and
my association with furry is different than it was
even five years ago. They key, as you said, is to
keep doing what you love for the long haul, no matter what
others might say or think.
I'm sure glad that you're here to represent us in a positive light.
and for the great comment. I really appreciate it!
And thank you for making this lovely journal. :)
I really appreciate it!
For myself Im very open about being a furry, most of my University knows I am... you get those who like it and those that dont, I dont care if they do or dont. I study acting and to me performing in my fursuit is apart of my career.
People should not be ashamed of who they are, end of
No one should ever be ashamed of who they are, as
long as you're respectful of others.
Thank you so much for the great comment!
You are right finding your balance and center is something people over look all the time. Finding the joy in the simple things of life is always a good thing.
Blessings be safe. femm
And happy early birthday!
Thank you for being here and for helping me to balance my life.
Some times it's just a little owie and it hurts a little, sometimes you bark off a fair bit of hide and it take a while for it to heal. It's how you deal and handle all these little things that makes us grow and learn about the world and ourselves. And hopefully become a better person for them.
Thank you for your continued friendship!
I've got a job and rent to pay and bills to deal with. I have the responsibilities and deadlines and stresses of being an adult and I know that I also want to grow more, develop more skills, become more knowledgeable, dependable and valuable in the real world. But at the same time, I'm a sometimes spottyfox, sometimes kangaroo dude who loves hugs and bouncing around and being an unabashed goofball. :P And I feel like that balance is definitely the key. I couldn't imagine living life serious all the damn time, and obviously if I never worked or did anything responsible I'd never be able to have fun really anyway...so I just see it as two sides of the same coin and I thank you for this journal because it puts into words something I've always thought in my head but never had put into words myself.
In fact, me pretending to be a cute little fuzzbutt has ironically made me grow as a person with so much life experience I'd never get outside of it. Truly.
Lots of hugs for you and your insight. :)
-Kam
And you are exactly correct; having fun and being responsible
really are two sides of the same coin, and both are necessary for
the coin to have any value.
Thank you for the great comment. You really understood what
I was trying to say.
that has become such an important part of my life.
Thank you for the great comment!
I know it would be like that for me. There have been times when I've been really hurt by someone and considered walking away because every time I came here or saw something furry it would just remind me of them yet I know there would be a lot of folks who would worry. I wouldn't want them to.
I don't see myself leaving but as I said I can understand why some people do it.
reason to distance themselves from this group, and
I certainly don't begrudge anyone who walks away if it
is needed to maintain sanity and balance.
I just hope that their reasons are in line with reality,
and they are not cutting off something that can be
a positive for so many.
Thank you for the wonderful comment. I'm so glad you're here!
1. you never really was a furry and you became one for all the wrong reasons
and/or
2. your giving up on your dreams
Giving up on your dreams is a bad way to go no matter what,
and I hope people don't do that for the wrong reasons.
Thank you again for taking the time to read and comment!
Losing friends, even if they are only internet friends, really sucks.
But, I wish them well and I hope to see them again one day!
Thanks for the great comment!~
This is a crazy, fun, silly place, full of some really wonderful folks.
I'm happy that you're here and thanks for the great comment!
I am seriously honored.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read!
Life is all about choices and we can choose balance over chaos.
Thank you for reading and for the insightful comment!
that I am happy to associate myself with this group.
When someone asks what the furry fandom is all about I just point them to your YouTube channel....
You make an excellent point about toxic environments, and no one should stick around if your
group of friends is detrimental to your life. I'm just lucky to have surrounded myself with
pals like you.
Thanks for being here!
Just like in any group we have our share of eccentrics
and misfits, (and I include myself in that group,) but that's
what makes this fandom so endearing.
Thanks for being here and for putting up with the weirdos like me!
"Those without imagination are easy to control"
I fell into that category for too long, and I'm
so glad to have wonderful friends who inspire me
everyday. Friends like you!
Thanks for being here and for being you.
awwww....staaahhhp
I am so glad that you're here and thank you again for
taking the time to read.
Yes as we got older we have to do things in adult matters such as our jobs and other responsibilities, but as life goes on, one needs to relax and enjoy the good things in life and let loose every now and then, even if it means dressing up as a two legged creature to put a smile on someones face. I feel like I'll be a part of this fandom for a very long time. I'd rather be active and act youthful whenever I can, even when I am an old fart, I'll probably still be playing video games and what not with those of my heritage.Heck for all I know, I could live to be over 100, but I'm just being optimistic. :3
Just keep doing what you love doing Dogbomb. ~
my thoughts exactly.
Doing what you love keeps you young, and a young mind
will surely live a good, long life.
Cheers to you, my friend, and keep doing what you do all
the way to 100.
It's my honor to be linked, and thank you for taking the
time to read and comment.
Folks like you are why I'm glad to be here!
I wish I had the confidence to be more open about my participation in the fandom. However, as someone young and in college, trying to create an image for myself through my online presence that will potentially lead to my future career, I have to be wary. I have no problem with the fandom being a part of my mature, adult life. But if I wave it around... employers/sponsors/publishes/funders might.
You bring up an interesting and relevant point.
If your affiliation with the fandom would somehow
disrupt or hinder a job search, then by all means
create an entirely professional presence and stick by
it. Balance dictates that you save the fun and silly parts
of your life for a more appropriate moment.
Thank you again, and thank you for reading!
When people refuse to be themselves in a comfortable manner to please the majority of their friends or colleagues.
It's childish to think you can't be you. You learn that in high school and college, when people stop caring what you like or dislike. People become more focused on what THEY need to do and want.
So really, I feel people need to grow up and go on with their lives, unless it legitimately impacts their happiness.
It's not about what others think, but rather what you
think and how you act. There are good, and less than good,
ways to approach any group, and it's entirely up to
us how we want to act and interpret.
Thank you for the great comment!
You are a perfect example of what is right with this fandom,
and how folks should carry on. Balance is key to an adult life,
and furry is everything that you said and more.
Thank you for the illusive words!
It's a hobby, one you can embrace and share.
It's a hobby that you can be proud of, and share as you see fit.
I'm so glad that you're here to offer that perspective.
Thank you for reading!
Ah...yeah. I've seen that a lot lately, it's kind of depressing how people behave in that regard. As if the fandom is some big shameful thing you must hide from the world or be SHUNNED. It really, honestly isn't. Most people don't care what you are and what you do in your free time, because you aren't rubbing it in their faces. (Note, don't rub your pastimes in other peoples faces, they hate that! ;oD) But if people ask, you can always tell them.
I guess a lot of the "shame" comes from the volume of porn this site produces, and being ashamed of your porn is a long tradition. But let's be real, we are adults and can look whatever we please, it doesn't need to be like those teenage years when you desperately hid dirty magazines under the mattress of your bed! (Do people still do that?...probably.)
It's always sad when people up and banish like that. I've lost only one friend to the "gotta grow up" thing. Frustrating, depressing, kind of confusing. Why would they do that? I don't understand. But such is life. Just gotta hope people can learn to not be ashamed of their interests someday. Weather it's funny animals or...I don't know.talking planes..we have those on FA too, in the weird back alleys. Nothing wrong with it. ; > Just part of the community. Heheh.
I agree; most people could care less what you're into, because
chances are that they're into something 10 times weirder.
I've discovered the only time that people really get curious and
judgmental is when you try to keep a secret.
Be proud of you eccentricities, and share your fun times with the world.
I don't think people hide magazines under the bed anymore. I think
we have smart phones for that kind of thing.
And now I have to go search for talking planes...
Thank you again for taking the time to comment!
And those planes are around...just gotta search..it's ind of alien to me but just people having harmless fun.
my interests are what they are, and if there's a fandom that corrisponds to one or another of them, then that's fine.
and if that fandom leaves me. well that's up to it.
i'm interested in some of the things furry started out to be about. over the years, it seems that furry itself has become less interested in some of them, having creepingly become progressively mundanized.
so? not a thing. as long as there's some place i can post and see what interests me, that's what that is.
i'm a bit concerned by what i see as consolidation being used as an end run around net neutrality though. but i don't see trying to go somewhere else as likely to address it.
weed out the things that we find dull or mundane.
I'm glad you're here and thanks for the great comment and for taking the time to read!
Also, very well said in your Journal. *tips goggles*
I feel exactly the same way, and I can't picture
leaving all my friends here.
Thank you for taking the time to read!
For me the furry community is more than a pastime to me, it's a way of life. I've been a furry ever since I was a wee child and this community is going to be a part of my life for years upon years and I wouldn't want it any other way <3
This is a great place to spread out and put down roots,
and I'm so glad you're here.
Around 2007, after some personal tragedy, I came to the realization that my life was totally revolving around work and simply existing (paying bills, doing laundry, sleeping, etc.). I had become fairly isolated, and I wanted to change that. I made an effort to travel more, including cons. While at one sci-fi con in 2009, I stumbled on a flyer for FWA. It was then that I realized that the furry fandom had grown, and I discovered that there was a local fur con, TFF. I dove into social networks, and caught up on what the fandom had become. My only regret is that I had drifted away at all, and I hope I never make that mistake again.
One day you realize that you've become a very boring adult, relegated
to a mundane life of reason and reality.
Who wants that crap? It's only after you've been cut off from imagination
that you truly realize how important it is.
Thank you so much for your continued presence, and for being an example
of balance in this community.
I'm now 55 and in my youth before the internet... I assumed I was a nut job because of my thing for the minotaur. Well.... at one point, I destroyed an burned tons of early works because being brought up a catholic... and spanish/cuban to boot... the sight of a bull headad creature cojured up thoughts of devil worship ( according to my sister when I brought in my oil painting of me as a minotaur) to zoophilia. Well... seeing my psychologist and how now I wrap myself protecting the "minotaur inside me".... I don't care.... and my Psychologist has accepted it an sees nothing wrong with it. I am 55, an still feel like a young kid... an think like a young soul. Once you start thinking old, you will become old. Enjoy your life and spread love to one another.
Peace!
I am 51, and I put away my inner doggie for many years.
No one should ever be allowed to tell you what is wrong and right for you;
not the church, not your friends and family, and certainly not society
at large!
I am so glad that you're here to help represent us old guys, and
I hope you're here for many years to come!
Thank you again!
Great comment, and thank you so much.
I'm glad you're here!
You know how I feel about your presence in this fandom.
Thank you for being here.
We can always look to our canine brethren for the best
example of how to be balanced.
Thank you so much for your always wonderful comments.
That's all the justification I need to know that those poor souls who left are full of crap.
I am always thrilled when people are excited to
introduce their children to the world of imagination.
Great parents, every one.
Thank you for taking the time to read and comment!
We could all learn from giant dogs...
Thank you!
As for the messages that they are leaving that I would say that would be on the odd side. Most people would lose interest slowly and would not really be interested in leaving any message of their leaving. They would just not participate in things as much as before and at some point they would just stop all together and may not even think about that they had left the fandom because they just don't care.
Vast majority of furs are between their mid teens and mid twenties which I would say would be quite normal mental social stage of that age. People that are interested in furry past their twenties would be the oddity and not the norm in mental social development. In another way of saying it "Them wacky kids and their odd interests!"
fandom as they lose interest in what they once enjoyed, and
that's perfectly OK. I've had plenty of hobbies through the years
that I no longer participate in, and that's because change is inevitable.
Thank you for staying on with the rest of us crazy people,
and thank you for taking the time to read and comment!
*Picks up the news paper and roles it into a tube.* Come here!
This fandom is hardly new, and is indeed a re-creation
of what our ancestors did around a blazing campfire.
Now days the campfire is a computer screen, and the fursuits
are a bit more colorful, but the theory is the same.
Thank you for being here with the rest of us cavemen!
As for leaving the fandom - http://www.furaffinity.net/view/11380138/
That was one of the first things that came up in my mind reading the title of your journal.
Though I guess it is only partially true. For some the furry fandom may be part of their teenager years, where they try out various things to look who they really are, what they might like, etc. Some may leave after a while because they think it is not really for them, after trying it out. Others...well.
You brought up a really good thought, I think. I could never understand why some people would think that being in the furry-fandom would be childish, I mean just look at the huge amount of porn here on that website. But also those that have SFW-galleries....how in any kind is this childish? To be childish would be, if you acted unresponsible. Children do that, because they haven't learned to act that way.
If you are an adult and you like to walk around in a fursuit and hang out with other people that share your interest and you behave in a responsible manner, how in any case is that childish?
To me, saying that someone leaves the fandom because 'he needs to grow up' or 'because it is childish and a grown-up shouldn't behave that way' is just nonsense.
Also buddy, I wanted to say, that I truly enjoyed a lot of journals you wrote in the past years, some of them are really inspiring and amazing to read.
This fandom is an amazing place. It helped me out of my shell, before I got more active in the fandom I was horribly afraid of interacting with people, both online and offline, because I was always afraid of being judged by people ( I mean, I really was horribly afraid, when I posted my first story, it took me one hour or more to do, because I got a little panic-attack, because I was so afraid of what might happen). But here...I dunno how, but I guess it was the distance that the internet gave me some feeling of securty, as well as being able to share my thoughts and interests with other people that like the same things as myself.
To me, finding the Furry-Fandom was...liberating, yeah, I guess that is the right word. I became more open to other people, not so afraid of what other people might think about me. It also made myself a bit tougher, as I encountered a bit of drama every now and then, luckily not too often.
So yeah, FA and the fandom as a whole is just....something that I could not really leave behind, as it has become a part of what I am now. I like the art, I like the fantasies behind them, and I hope to become more engaged in the Fandom in the future, like going to cons, meeting people I have only encountered online and such stuff (you living in the US surely have it easier with the majority of all Furcons happening in the US ^.=.^ )
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and also your art with us, buddy. *smiles happily*
and for wading through my older writings. I really appreciate that!
I agree with everything that you said. This fandom is such a wonderful place to express
yourself in a creative manner, and I can never associate that with being childish
or somehow not conducive to adult thought and behavior.
We all translate what being a furry means in different ways. For me it means
making great friends and exercising my imagination, and that's the best gift ever.
I'm so glad that you're here and I hope you stick around for the long haul.
Cheers!
Once again your writing is spot on and insightful. Good works, Sir!!
I appreciate the kind words.
Thank you for taking the time to read my drivel!
Even at 31 today, I still enjoy cartoons and appreciate people who are creative. While I do have a child-like curiosity and have child-friendly interests, I still make very adult responsible choices. They are not mutually exclusive.
I do not really consider myself a "fur", but it is not something I would hide or share openly. It is just one of my many characteristics.
Being an adult and being an imaginative, fun, creative person are indeed NOT mutually exclusive.
I'm glad you get that, and the world could use more folks like you.
Cheers and thank you again!
Stay young at heart and you will live a long, happy life.
Sure, many of us have careers and jobs that requires a strong sense of professionalism and maturity to succeed. But does that mean that all other aspects of my life have to revolve around that? I say no. In fact, I believe that outside of the workplace being yourself and doing what you like to do plays not only into being a better person, but also and overall quality of life. When you have that time to do the things you like and wants to do, it recharges and refreshes you, which promotes a overall better mindset and approach to life and its various challenges and pleasures. Sure, there are times when life gets real and tough, that's unavoidable. Having a healthy mindset though will better prepare you for those times and allow you to get through them better.
As far as childish? There is a difference between acting childish and being young at heart and mind. The prior is what can lead to issues within this community and life, but the latter is what I think is the key to staying happy in life and what this community allows people to do. I don't see anything wrong with that. Hell, my dad is in his 60's and still likes to watch Looney Tunes and The Three Stooges, among many other classics. I to like these. Does that make us childish and immature? If somebody says yes, then I have to wonder how dull and uneventful their life must be.
At the end of the day this community is all about a place to enjoy and share our senses of creativity and community. If you feel a connection to that then feel free to join us and enjoy what the community has to offer. Use good judgement and make the right decisions, and you can gain a lot from it all. And if you eventually feel you have to leave, then do so for the right reasons, not just out of compulsion.
Here's to many years of happiness and balance to all of us in furry and in life.
I absolutely agree with your comment, especially the part about maintaining balance.
Without balance, life is nothing but a tailspin, with no counteracting force to maintain level flight.
Pure fun and imagination are the balance factors to a life spent in pursuit of success in the business
and professional world. Folks who say you can't be a furry AND an adult are missing the point.
Once again, thank you so much, and I look forward to seeing you at AC!