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Canadian furs seeking roommates? (Family drama)
10 years ago
This is probably the first journal I've ever made that actually discusses any personal matters for myself n' 
kabier. I tend to just vent quickly with short Tweets and go about my day.
For those un-aware, Kabier's family is very mentally ill. Here's some profiling:
Mother: Alcoholic, emotionally unstable, has breakdowns due to the abuse from husband/mother
Father: Alcoholic, bipolar, violent. Takes daily psychiatric treatment due to threats to kill his employers.
Grandmother (Mothers side): Alcoholic, manipulative, abusive, delusional. Has lost her mind, spends her days drinking and harassing her daughter at every possible moment.
Grandmother (Fathers side): Alcoholic, abusive.
All of the above live under the same roof, constantly having domestics, contacting lawyers and sabotaging each other. The entire thing is a mess because the only thing keeping them together is money, Kab's parents are desperately awaiting their parents death due to financial struggle, while the grandparents want them to divorce so they can get large cuts of the property money.
We moved out around 4 months ago into the fathers spare house (The family is so irresponsible, they already own a 2 story house completely free (electricity, hydro, air conditioning and all). as part of his employment as a greenskeeper, but bombed it so heavily with hoarding that they abandoned it). Cleaned it up and renovated it all on our own, boxed almost a hundred boxes of their junk and stacked it to the ceiling in the basement. The move has done wonders for our productivity and stress levels.
We have already severed ties completely with the grandparents, however the father will come to our address randomly to vent on Kabs. Yesterday we went to the movies with Kab's mother after 3 weeks of delays from her father putting it off, only to ultimately not come with us at all. The intention was to socialise with him so there can be some sense of a normal, sane family environment. However, instead his employer told him one particular spot on the golf-course had brown grass, so he did the sane thing in talking one of his psych group members to kill themselves, which they did, taking their life that night. Rather then take responsibility for his behaviour, he stormed over to our address again this morning to vent on kabs on how he hates his employers and is signing in his resignation right then and there, telling her she has 30 days to find a new place to live.
This would be a serious matter, however kabs dad does this every other week. He has only had one job his entire life, working at this particular golf-course for 25+ years. He merely wants Kabs to feel powerless and constantly on the edge of a plank to bolster his own confidence, lacking the courage to confront anyone in his actual daily life, such as his home situation or actually asking for time off from his employers (his doctor forced him to hand in a 2 week paid leave, he worked basically for free during the entire fortnight, then complained his stress hadn't lowered).
I love kabs dearly, although the constant family drama is starting to cause me to grow mentally exhausted. I just want to be able to work and address my own complications at a comfortable pace, such as the various hurdles we need to jump through to finalise my permanent res (This is going to be a pain in the ass trying to do that and start a house at the same time, we're both very young). While I have a fair bit in my own savings, Kabs has nothing. Considering my work visa will expire in a year, I doubt we'd be able to apply for a mortgage loan.
TLDR: We're under stress in relation to our current living situation and may need to consider renting in the future. If you are already doing so, or have a home you wouldn't mind sharing a room for us to set up our workstation and draw porn all day, let us know! It's nothing concrete yet, but we have to consider our options incase things get ugly here.
kabier. I tend to just vent quickly with short Tweets and go about my day.For those un-aware, Kabier's family is very mentally ill. Here's some profiling:
Mother: Alcoholic, emotionally unstable, has breakdowns due to the abuse from husband/mother
Father: Alcoholic, bipolar, violent. Takes daily psychiatric treatment due to threats to kill his employers.
Grandmother (Mothers side): Alcoholic, manipulative, abusive, delusional. Has lost her mind, spends her days drinking and harassing her daughter at every possible moment.
Grandmother (Fathers side): Alcoholic, abusive.
All of the above live under the same roof, constantly having domestics, contacting lawyers and sabotaging each other. The entire thing is a mess because the only thing keeping them together is money, Kab's parents are desperately awaiting their parents death due to financial struggle, while the grandparents want them to divorce so they can get large cuts of the property money.
We moved out around 4 months ago into the fathers spare house (The family is so irresponsible, they already own a 2 story house completely free (electricity, hydro, air conditioning and all). as part of his employment as a greenskeeper, but bombed it so heavily with hoarding that they abandoned it). Cleaned it up and renovated it all on our own, boxed almost a hundred boxes of their junk and stacked it to the ceiling in the basement. The move has done wonders for our productivity and stress levels.
We have already severed ties completely with the grandparents, however the father will come to our address randomly to vent on Kabs. Yesterday we went to the movies with Kab's mother after 3 weeks of delays from her father putting it off, only to ultimately not come with us at all. The intention was to socialise with him so there can be some sense of a normal, sane family environment. However, instead his employer told him one particular spot on the golf-course had brown grass, so he did the sane thing in talking one of his psych group members to kill themselves, which they did, taking their life that night. Rather then take responsibility for his behaviour, he stormed over to our address again this morning to vent on kabs on how he hates his employers and is signing in his resignation right then and there, telling her she has 30 days to find a new place to live.
This would be a serious matter, however kabs dad does this every other week. He has only had one job his entire life, working at this particular golf-course for 25+ years. He merely wants Kabs to feel powerless and constantly on the edge of a plank to bolster his own confidence, lacking the courage to confront anyone in his actual daily life, such as his home situation or actually asking for time off from his employers (his doctor forced him to hand in a 2 week paid leave, he worked basically for free during the entire fortnight, then complained his stress hadn't lowered).
I love kabs dearly, although the constant family drama is starting to cause me to grow mentally exhausted. I just want to be able to work and address my own complications at a comfortable pace, such as the various hurdles we need to jump through to finalise my permanent res (This is going to be a pain in the ass trying to do that and start a house at the same time, we're both very young). While I have a fair bit in my own savings, Kabs has nothing. Considering my work visa will expire in a year, I doubt we'd be able to apply for a mortgage loan.
TLDR: We're under stress in relation to our current living situation and may need to consider renting in the future. If you are already doing so, or have a home you wouldn't mind sharing a room for us to set up our workstation and draw porn all day, let us know! It's nothing concrete yet, but we have to consider our options incase things get ugly here.
Lemme know if you guys end up in northern USA, I'm in the same boat...
Hope things turn out okay for all of us
In the Canadian dollar is only worth .69 cents or whatever you call it in Euros
For a while we were at 600 billion in debt but as of last week projections said that we're going to end up in the Trillian dollar deficit again
Personally I think it's time to get harpoon head out of the office aka Prime Minister Harper
And I'm not sure but I think BC has one of the cheaper housing
Don't think I'll ever move out of BC
Don't really want to move out of BC
no I do it meant prices are pretty high for buying
but renting is cheaper than Alberta
For some reason there is a buying frenzy for property out here it is all time high even know the prices are quite high
I can only say that I feel close to both. But i dunno what to do except from denounce them...and ask for room mating...
What a train-wreck of a family. And all for money.
CAN you rent? There's no free living in this situation: you two are paying a tremendous price for this house. I have no clue about the housing situation, but it's hideously clear you two need to get out of there NOW!!!
Sadly, here from Europe there is very little I can do, otherwise I would have offered you a place to stay.
Just asking so I can keep a lookout for a modest place for rent or basement suite if need be.
but since you live across the country I don't think I need to do that.
Good luck
Not much in Burlington and with a mate and kits, not looking to take in roommates right now. Although I think you folks would make pretty cool neighbours!
I mean holy hell those are some messed up adults. I sincerely hope that someone in the area can help you find a place to be roomies with. And if so.. For the LOVE of god do not tell kab's family where you're moving xD
I dunno if I could make those kind of sacrifices to get super talented. At-least we have a bright future once they are out of her life
If there's one thing I would recommend when it comes to rooming with people not of your family...establish very clear rules and boundaries immediately. Bring up issues as soon as they happen and let nothing slide, ever. Leniency now becomes "Why are you bringing this up now I always do it!" later.
We've already have a full house and I don't think you would like to go around my waters, I'm in Québec and it can be hard for English speakers to get in this marginal French speaking province :P
What do you need to get full res jason? I'm not sure how much help I can be but I can try.
For you guys I would suggest moving away, a few hours away. This is not safe or healthy for each of you (and I can see you know that) and being away means they have less chances to inflict themselves on your lives and make life miserable for you. They will always be able to in some way if you don't full cut ties, but I understand how hard that can be to do that to family so the next best thing is putting some distance between.
I don't know how much income you guys make but I'm sure I could find many Furs and non Furs in Ottawa looking for roommates, or help you find a place if need be.
Hope yalls situation gets better, yall are really great people from what I've seen and yall really don't deserve all this crap :(
Well, I am sadly an American Umbreon :I Good luck to you both in this trial of life
That sounds hella crazy! I wish you both the best of luck!!!
Stay strong!
I wish you the best and I'll do everything I can to help you guys find somewhere to get away from that group and try to lower your stress. I will say this. You're an incredible person to have stuck with Kab through shit like this. Some people would have bailed but you have stayed. Kab is very lucky to have you by her side constantly in her corner
Stay strong.
I managed to find a house which I share with other furs.. I pay $500.00 a month rent which includes heat, hydro, air conditioning and unlimited upload/download interwebs!
Shame our kitchen isn't quite finished in our basement suite, or I'd offer. Renfrew County is a nice place to live (if you don't like cities anyways haha), and I'm sure there are places here still open for rent. If this interests you, I can keep my ear open.
Hearing stuff like this makes me wish I had finished my basement this summer instead of my property outside and offer that up for a living space.
I live in Southern Ontario as well (London area), I can keep an eye out if anyone here is looking for roommates.
I know how you two feel, my family is similar. manipulative drunks. I wish the best for you two
Straight Edge means I'm better than you
Downtown expensive
North York and North End Area depends where you go and see
West end same thing
East End will be cheaper but be wary.
You mentioned having a work visa and that it will end soon. If you don't mind me asking what job did you get that work visa based on? Surely not the art/porn aspect of things? Also you mentioned that moving to the US would be even harder. So I take it you are not from the US and your friend is Canadian?
I know dealing with all these residential issues is really annoying. And getting this and that figured out and filled out. They certainly don't make it easy to just be able to live with someone you care about...
A permanent res is what we wanna go for now, but processing times can be upwards of 24 months because apparently they have one employee with a banana.
I'm renting a house in Waterloo and I'm actually looking for two room mates for September to fill in for ones that are moving out. What's your budget like? Would you be sharing a room? Are you cool with dogs? Do get in touch with me if you're interested! If you need relief sooner, I may be able to work something out.
Dogs aren't an issue so long as they're well behaved! (ie: don't chew on cords and bark 24/7) As far as budget, depends honestly on what you are looking for as we haven't really thought of that yet.
We'll definitely know in the next couple of weeks what our living arrangements are going to look like. Do keep in touch!
I haven't exactly figured out how much I want to charge for rent, but I'm flexible and we can negotiate something.
Best of luck to you both!
I'd offer, but you said coming to the US would be too much of a problem with the visas.
(Though I can promise you it'd have been pretty awesome. Boston is a gorgeous city)
Anyway. Best of luck with your plans. I hope it all works out.
If you're considering moving to Kingston and there's anything I can do to help, let me know.
EDIT: They may be at work right now, I'm doing what I can to contact them.
maybe kaiber can show me how to draw! i've always wanted to be able to draw... but my hands don't listen to my imagination Q_Q.....plus I don't have any propper way of putting my arts in a digital format.
just saying... if i had the choice of most super powers.... id pick the ability to look at my giant PC screen here and imprint my mental image on whatever paint document i was looking at. (._.) and then do alot of corrections on all the unfocussed parts. and then proceed to burn alot of the random desturbing stuff that my brain pops up with.
*still walking to canada* ive made it to my driveway so far!
That being said... Us dropping everything and moving to Canada is severely appealing right now... xD
Please, no one even give them the pleasure of responding to that comment from Akie, the point of this is to get these people out of a fucked up situation, not to start a fricken war on their journal.
Point is, if I could scoop up my stuff and team up with you and my partner I would. But between me being in england, him wanting to stay in germany and money, it's not possible. :/ Which is a shame cos I bet you two would be awesome room-mates to have. I'd probably be a bit odd though, I have a habit of getting fatherly on people. :P That and I'd have to soundproof the rooms... XD
The best I can do for you is to go to Al-Ateen its part of AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) its a great program but you must stick to it.
A Alcoholic affects 34 people in his radius, it won't care if your rich, poor, any religion, man, woman, or child, its is a progressive disease & it may lead to dead.
All the best for, I will be cheering you for the sidelines. *Hugs & Rubs your back*
People I've heard of doing that over the internet usually get hunted down and taken down hard.
But I live in Edmonton, Alberta... too far away I guess?
If I'm ever an option, note me on my grimsdale account and we could work something out.
Anyways good luck on your search for a new home! :(
The least I can do is sending you my best wishes and hope everything goes well for you two~
Wish you both the best though, sounds like a very unwinnable situation for two young adults to find themselves in. Good luck.
But y'know how it goes lemons = lemonade. No matter where we end up, we'll keep making content.
example; these two guys where starting to have financial problems, and couldn't pay rent. They tossed up a donate setup and got 10k in one day.
I know I would donate if I could.
The only way I feel fair about receiving donation is when we are providing a service in return, such as our comic or game Patreons.
Running a video with 40k views has generated me approx $38 :)
I'm suprized that law enforcment haven't come along for the multitude of Harrassment that has been going on. And all of this being held together by money is just wrong. In my opinion, I would also sever ties with them and call law enforcement to help out with the harrassment/violene.
I believe that you two both deserve to live happy lives together in peace and harmony without violence and harrassment. So. here's to a future away from the harrassment and a future of peace to you both.
Still, I hope that you two would be able to figure something out in this situaion.
If yall need a place to stay for a few days, know that I live about 20 minutes away from your current location and I'm sure people won't mind a few visitors for a few days between transit.
So if you need somewhere to stay for a few days, I don't mind. Until September comes and I'm a few hours away, then you can stay as long as you want.
I cannot begin to imagine what living with that kind of family is, and makes my own family's quirks seem like a trifle.
There's unfortunately an ocean between us, so all I can do is wish the both of you the best of luck.
My mother just had the people who rented her guest room move out, so it is available.
The room was our sunroom, but has been renovated and is now insulated for winter and has huge windows to be opened for a nice breeze in the summer =3
Considering the 603 dollars you gain per animation, the 722 dollars gained per comic page (which should be about 2166 dollars Kabier received just this week, considering she gets paid within each new comic page uploaded), and approximately the 4000 dollars received from both game development patreons - not to mention the possibility of you and Kabier opening up comission slots to help you up with some extra bucks aswell, but that's beside the point -, how exactly are you in a financial struggle? I mean, if you were living in Toronto, it would be understandable the non possibility of actually maintaining a household for you and Kabier (because yeah they're pretty goddamn expensive), however, you live in Southern Ontario (Hamilton Area). Surely you can pull some money off and use it to live far away from your mentally unstable family in a house with a fairly reasonable price.
But i live on the other half of the planet
If you guys ever do find yourselves in the nieghborhood though, do give me a shout over PM's and I'll do what I can to help ^^;
Given how many people beg for something, cash, comissions, "loans", sympathy, you got my respect for just telling it like it is to measure your options if someone was cool enough.