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Things Are Not Going So Well Right Now... (part 1/2)
10 years ago
General
[rawrness]
[ PLEASE FOLLOW AND SUPPORT ME ON PATREON! Or follow my creative progress (Productivity Revolution) HERE! ]
[This is part 1 of a 2 part journal. This is the venting one. Feel free to skip it if you don't really care to read my bitching. The second journal is a lot more positive, I promise]
So yeah... things are not going so well right now for me and my mate financially. In fact, this is the worst things have been in that category since, well... since probably ever.
Or, ok... maybe not EVER. I mean, things have been bad before. Yet somehow we've always managed to scrape by, usually due to the kindness of friends and others (I can't count how many times a friend has come through with a donation that literally saved our asses from being kicked out on the street). But I tire of depending on the kindness of others to simply do what everyone else has to do too... make it by. Day to day. Week to week. Month to month.
And thus, I haven't asked for much recently, even though we've been needing it to the point of desperation.
And it's been effecting us both... badly.
BACKGROUND INFORMATION:
For those of you who don't know (or may have forgotten), I drive a Yellow Cab for a "living". (see THIS pic, in one of the rare times I've actually managed to upload something)
"Aaaand, you put 'living' in quotations... why?"
Because I'm NOT making a living off of it. In fact, we're falling quite short, and have been for a good while.
At the beginning of July, I scheduled a rent payment to be drawn out of my account. Of course I didn't have it... like, any of it. But what choice did I have? We gotta have a place to live. And late fees add up, yanno. So I pushed it through anyways.
My account overdrew by several hundred dollars. I got an overdraft charge. Ok, I expected that.
Then another overdraft charge happened, this time from a purchase I made BEFORE I paid my rent. But of course, my bank arranges it so the largest, most important purchase is drawn out first. So the next purchase (which was only $11) became $47.
Then the electric company demanded payment. I go further into the negative. Another overdraft charge.
Then the auto-deduct payments for other shit start trying to force through. Some make it through, plunging me further in debt. Others get stopped by the bank and returned... which is another fee, the same as the overdraft. Except NOW the payment they rejected is late. And I still don't have the money to pay it.
It took me all month to get out of the hole and into the positives. I pretty much "worked" all day, every day to do it too.
"Oh, 'worked' is in quotations too?"
Heh heh.... umm.... yeah.
When I am "working", a lot of the times that just means I am sitting around in my cab doing nothing (except sweating and thinking bad thoughts), waiting for a run to pop up that I can grab off the dispatch box (if I'm quick enough to grab it before the other starving drivers do). Or I'm sitting around in one of the "zones", waiting for a run in that particular zone to just fall into my lap. Of course there are often anywhere between 8-15 other drivers waiting around too, doing the same thing as me, and most every one of them is struggling like me.
Because there ARE. NO. RUNS...
Today I was out in my cab at noon. When I went home, it was midnight.
My best run? That would be my regular customer who goes to the airport every week (I have a few of these who tend to travel weekly, or at least a few of them will, depending on the week and their work demands).
Other than that, what did I do in those 12 hours? Other than sit on my ass and feel like crying and punching things?
I did 4 runs. For a grand total of about $50. And I put $40 of gas back in the tank ($20 on 2 separate occasions, though I was almost out of gas from the previous day).
So I made $10 in 12 hours from runs that were dispatched to the box. My airport run was $55, and that only took about an hour.
But wait, it gets better.... I STILL HAVEN'T MADE MY CAB LEASE FOR THE WEEK YET.
This means essentially I have made ZERO dollars this week so far. In fact I OWE the company money for the lease still...
The lease on my cab is $400 a week. A WEEK... Not a month... a fucking WEEK!
That's only $150 less than my entire rent... which I pay once a MONTH (when I can pay it, that is)...
So this means that before any money goes into my pockets at all, I have to make $400 PLUS whatever I need for gas PLUS any money I decide to spend on food to feed myself as I sit around in my cab wasting away.
Yeah... that's pretty hard to do when there are A) No runs to do (or very few), and B) A shitton of mouths to feed (and the boss keeps hiring more people because HEY, that's another $400 a week for him).
Nevermind the fact that the cabs break down all the time. Nevermind the fact that I have gone through FIVE cabs in less than 2 months. NEVERMIND THE FACT that I have LOST CUSTOMERS whom I DEPEND ON TO MAKE MY LEASE because they are sick of riding in shitty Mickey Mouse cabs that break down in their driveway, can't keep working air conditioning in 90+ degree weather, that are constantly jerking or grinding or leaking (minds outta the gutter guys...) or God knows what the fuck else...
I mean, I don't blame them. Who could? They don't pay all that money to cook in a rachet-ass, broke-AC-havin' cab while worrying if they're even going to make it to their destination or if they're going to be sitting on the side of the road, missing their flight.
And because of all this shit, I can't make rent. I have ignored credit card payments to the point they become delinquent. One of my accounts has been closed permanently due to this, and I'm stuck paying it off tiny bit by tiny bit for the next 5 years. My student loans are so bad that my payment due had snowballed to over $1000 for one month. My electricity was shut off a few days ago (I got it turned back on thankfully). My phone is threatening to shut off if I don't make a payment soon. My internet bill is late. We have almost no food in the house.
Kat is feverishly searching for work, to no avail. I would be too, but I have no car now (my own car was junked since it reached the end of its life long ago and I have been using the cab for everything... plus I needed the money).
And I am working my ass off nearly every day... frustrated, angry, spiraling... and STILL to no avail.
TL;DR
In short, I'm paying over half my earnings to this company to drive shitty cabs that deter loyal customers from using me because the cabs are so shitty, all so I can spend ALL MY TIME slogging through heavy traffic or sitting on my ass helplessly, trying to work and not being able to because there's too many starving drivers grabbing an ever-shrinking number of runs. And now my credit is nearly rock bottom, my bills aren't getting paid, we're struggling to pay for essentials like food and electricity, and I'm slowly going out of my mind and slipping into a really bad space mentally. It's adding stress to my relationship, it's leading me slowly into depression and ruin...
Oh, AND ALSO... we have to postpone the wedding. We can't afford it. We just fucking can't. :(
When are we going to be able to?
To be honest... I don't know.
[those who have donated, your donations will still go toward the wedding... whenever it is. And if you'd like to donate, there's a link in the footer to this journal. Anything at all is appreciated, and I guarantee your funds will be used for their intended purpose]
This job really USED to be good. There's a reason I've been doing it for almost 3 years now. Many reasons, actually.
-It's easy
-Mostly stress-free (when things are good)
-Kinda fun
-Driving around outside, not trapped in an office
-Learn where things are
-Meet many different people (some even become friends or connections)
-Ample breaks
-Job security
-Flexible hours and days off (whenever I want... or can afford)
-Minimal interaction with higher-ups
-Can wear what I want
-Potential to earn more than any other low-end job due to being able to work more hours (in theory)
-Don't have to pay my own car insurance or car note
-Having multiple airport customers with a fairly high potential for random long distance runs off the box (like more airport runs)
... among other things. I mean, I USED to have expendable income, enough to move out of Mom's and into our own place, and occasionally afford trips and other nice things...
But I now realize that I usually had to work 60-70 hours a week to do it (and I was, yanno... living with Mom).
And now even that no longer covers even our most basic needs. And it's putting us in a hole that I'm finding more and more impossible to dig out of.
But you know what the worst part of all this is? I mean, aside from financially?
That would be the absolutely SOUL-CRUSHING feeling of having ZERO free time to do anything I like to do. No time to draw art, or write music, or play basketball, or make fursuit videos. Shit, I can't even afford a fucking day off this week at all. No cons. No eating out. No enjoying anything.
The only thing I ever get to enjoy is the very occasional/rare bong hit and the pure, simply blissful feeling of sitting in my own house instead of sitting in that GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKING PIECE OF SHIT CAB...
I'm way way WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY past my breaking point. I can't do this job anymore. I just can't.
And you know what?
I've got a plan to do something about it.
[Please flip this journal over, and we will continue on the other side ---> ]
-JT
So yeah... things are not going so well right now for me and my mate financially. In fact, this is the worst things have been in that category since, well... since probably ever.
Or, ok... maybe not EVER. I mean, things have been bad before. Yet somehow we've always managed to scrape by, usually due to the kindness of friends and others (I can't count how many times a friend has come through with a donation that literally saved our asses from being kicked out on the street). But I tire of depending on the kindness of others to simply do what everyone else has to do too... make it by. Day to day. Week to week. Month to month.
And thus, I haven't asked for much recently, even though we've been needing it to the point of desperation.
And it's been effecting us both... badly.
BACKGROUND INFORMATION:
For those of you who don't know (or may have forgotten), I drive a Yellow Cab for a "living". (see THIS pic, in one of the rare times I've actually managed to upload something)
"Aaaand, you put 'living' in quotations... why?"
Because I'm NOT making a living off of it. In fact, we're falling quite short, and have been for a good while.
At the beginning of July, I scheduled a rent payment to be drawn out of my account. Of course I didn't have it... like, any of it. But what choice did I have? We gotta have a place to live. And late fees add up, yanno. So I pushed it through anyways.
My account overdrew by several hundred dollars. I got an overdraft charge. Ok, I expected that.
Then another overdraft charge happened, this time from a purchase I made BEFORE I paid my rent. But of course, my bank arranges it so the largest, most important purchase is drawn out first. So the next purchase (which was only $11) became $47.
Then the electric company demanded payment. I go further into the negative. Another overdraft charge.
Then the auto-deduct payments for other shit start trying to force through. Some make it through, plunging me further in debt. Others get stopped by the bank and returned... which is another fee, the same as the overdraft. Except NOW the payment they rejected is late. And I still don't have the money to pay it.
It took me all month to get out of the hole and into the positives. I pretty much "worked" all day, every day to do it too.
"Oh, 'worked' is in quotations too?"
Heh heh.... umm.... yeah.
When I am "working", a lot of the times that just means I am sitting around in my cab doing nothing (except sweating and thinking bad thoughts), waiting for a run to pop up that I can grab off the dispatch box (if I'm quick enough to grab it before the other starving drivers do). Or I'm sitting around in one of the "zones", waiting for a run in that particular zone to just fall into my lap. Of course there are often anywhere between 8-15 other drivers waiting around too, doing the same thing as me, and most every one of them is struggling like me.
Because there ARE. NO. RUNS...
Today I was out in my cab at noon. When I went home, it was midnight.
My best run? That would be my regular customer who goes to the airport every week (I have a few of these who tend to travel weekly, or at least a few of them will, depending on the week and their work demands).
Other than that, what did I do in those 12 hours? Other than sit on my ass and feel like crying and punching things?
I did 4 runs. For a grand total of about $50. And I put $40 of gas back in the tank ($20 on 2 separate occasions, though I was almost out of gas from the previous day).
So I made $10 in 12 hours from runs that were dispatched to the box. My airport run was $55, and that only took about an hour.
But wait, it gets better.... I STILL HAVEN'T MADE MY CAB LEASE FOR THE WEEK YET.
This means essentially I have made ZERO dollars this week so far. In fact I OWE the company money for the lease still...
The lease on my cab is $400 a week. A WEEK... Not a month... a fucking WEEK!
That's only $150 less than my entire rent... which I pay once a MONTH (when I can pay it, that is)...
So this means that before any money goes into my pockets at all, I have to make $400 PLUS whatever I need for gas PLUS any money I decide to spend on food to feed myself as I sit around in my cab wasting away.
Yeah... that's pretty hard to do when there are A) No runs to do (or very few), and B) A shitton of mouths to feed (and the boss keeps hiring more people because HEY, that's another $400 a week for him).
Nevermind the fact that the cabs break down all the time. Nevermind the fact that I have gone through FIVE cabs in less than 2 months. NEVERMIND THE FACT that I have LOST CUSTOMERS whom I DEPEND ON TO MAKE MY LEASE because they are sick of riding in shitty Mickey Mouse cabs that break down in their driveway, can't keep working air conditioning in 90+ degree weather, that are constantly jerking or grinding or leaking (minds outta the gutter guys...) or God knows what the fuck else...
I mean, I don't blame them. Who could? They don't pay all that money to cook in a rachet-ass, broke-AC-havin' cab while worrying if they're even going to make it to their destination or if they're going to be sitting on the side of the road, missing their flight.
And because of all this shit, I can't make rent. I have ignored credit card payments to the point they become delinquent. One of my accounts has been closed permanently due to this, and I'm stuck paying it off tiny bit by tiny bit for the next 5 years. My student loans are so bad that my payment due had snowballed to over $1000 for one month. My electricity was shut off a few days ago (I got it turned back on thankfully). My phone is threatening to shut off if I don't make a payment soon. My internet bill is late. We have almost no food in the house.
Kat is feverishly searching for work, to no avail. I would be too, but I have no car now (my own car was junked since it reached the end of its life long ago and I have been using the cab for everything... plus I needed the money).
And I am working my ass off nearly every day... frustrated, angry, spiraling... and STILL to no avail.
TL;DR
In short, I'm paying over half my earnings to this company to drive shitty cabs that deter loyal customers from using me because the cabs are so shitty, all so I can spend ALL MY TIME slogging through heavy traffic or sitting on my ass helplessly, trying to work and not being able to because there's too many starving drivers grabbing an ever-shrinking number of runs. And now my credit is nearly rock bottom, my bills aren't getting paid, we're struggling to pay for essentials like food and electricity, and I'm slowly going out of my mind and slipping into a really bad space mentally. It's adding stress to my relationship, it's leading me slowly into depression and ruin...
Oh, AND ALSO... we have to postpone the wedding. We can't afford it. We just fucking can't. :(
When are we going to be able to?
To be honest... I don't know.
[those who have donated, your donations will still go toward the wedding... whenever it is. And if you'd like to donate, there's a link in the footer to this journal. Anything at all is appreciated, and I guarantee your funds will be used for their intended purpose]
This job really USED to be good. There's a reason I've been doing it for almost 3 years now. Many reasons, actually.
-It's easy
-Mostly stress-free (when things are good)
-Kinda fun
-Driving around outside, not trapped in an office
-Learn where things are
-Meet many different people (some even become friends or connections)
-Ample breaks
-Job security
-Flexible hours and days off (whenever I want... or can afford)
-Minimal interaction with higher-ups
-Can wear what I want
-Potential to earn more than any other low-end job due to being able to work more hours (in theory)
-Don't have to pay my own car insurance or car note
-Having multiple airport customers with a fairly high potential for random long distance runs off the box (like more airport runs)
... among other things. I mean, I USED to have expendable income, enough to move out of Mom's and into our own place, and occasionally afford trips and other nice things...
But I now realize that I usually had to work 60-70 hours a week to do it (and I was, yanno... living with Mom).
And now even that no longer covers even our most basic needs. And it's putting us in a hole that I'm finding more and more impossible to dig out of.
But you know what the worst part of all this is? I mean, aside from financially?
That would be the absolutely SOUL-CRUSHING feeling of having ZERO free time to do anything I like to do. No time to draw art, or write music, or play basketball, or make fursuit videos. Shit, I can't even afford a fucking day off this week at all. No cons. No eating out. No enjoying anything.
The only thing I ever get to enjoy is the very occasional/rare bong hit and the pure, simply blissful feeling of sitting in my own house instead of sitting in that GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKING PIECE OF SHIT CAB...
I'm way way WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY past my breaking point. I can't do this job anymore. I just can't.
And you know what?
I've got a plan to do something about it.
[Please flip this journal over, and we will continue on the other side ---> ]
-JT
Wow this is one rough situation...reading the second journal now.
LaurenRivers
~laurenrivers
I'm sorry things have been so rough for both of you. You're wonderful people who don't ask for much. More folks should be like you two.
