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GHOSTBUSTERS (not) III
9 years ago
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As some of you may recall, some time back I wrote a journal about the upcoming Ghostbusters film, and how the guy responsible for making it had been handed a copy of the Ghostbusters 3 script, and how he then decided he didn't want to make that. He wasn't interested in the idea. He couldn't get excited about the idea. He wanted to do a hard reboot, that would be all his own idea.
And how this was going to happen....
Well, now the trailer for it is now out:
OH GOD DOES THAT SUCK.
I don't know why I let my hopes get up, even the tiniest bit. Everything they showed us previously looked like a bad copy created without talent or care, from the costumes, to the junk-store equipment and car, to the generic "grim and gritty action movie" posters. It looked like a Bollywood rip-off but without the spicy exotic flavor or snazzy dance routines.
It says volumes that they start the trailer with a little bait-and-switch. Look! The original firehouse! 30 years later! Oooh....
But no, the message this trailer makes is "Hey, remember that movie you used to really like? You're not getting that."
Vomit jokes. Vagina jokes. Cheap retreads of scenes from the original. This is the movie with all that and less!
Featuring the talents of:
"Gender Swapped Cartoon Egon"
"Fat Chick"
"Loud Black Female Caricature"
and "Also appearing in this film"
And you know what would really sell this to audiences? The worst cover of the classic Ray Parker theme tune, since RUN DMC. MAKE IT HAPPEN!
It's like they took everything bad about Ghostbusters II and distilled it down to the purest concentrate of pure awful that physics would allow.
Jay Sherman warned us: "After roman numeral II give it a rest! If it's a remake of a classic, rent the classic!"
The movie's gonna blow.
Do-se-do.
Oh wait.. Sorry..
*ahem*
JUST DON'T GO!
And how this was going to happen....
Well, now the trailer for it is now out:
OH GOD DOES THAT SUCK.
I don't know why I let my hopes get up, even the tiniest bit. Everything they showed us previously looked like a bad copy created without talent or care, from the costumes, to the junk-store equipment and car, to the generic "grim and gritty action movie" posters. It looked like a Bollywood rip-off but without the spicy exotic flavor or snazzy dance routines.
It says volumes that they start the trailer with a little bait-and-switch. Look! The original firehouse! 30 years later! Oooh....
But no, the message this trailer makes is "Hey, remember that movie you used to really like? You're not getting that."
Vomit jokes. Vagina jokes. Cheap retreads of scenes from the original. This is the movie with all that and less!
Featuring the talents of:
"Gender Swapped Cartoon Egon"
"Fat Chick"
"Loud Black Female Caricature"
and "Also appearing in this film"
And you know what would really sell this to audiences? The worst cover of the classic Ray Parker theme tune, since RUN DMC. MAKE IT HAPPEN!
It's like they took everything bad about Ghostbusters II and distilled it down to the purest concentrate of pure awful that physics would allow.
Jay Sherman warned us: "After roman numeral II give it a rest! If it's a remake of a classic, rent the classic!"
The movie's gonna blow.
Do-se-do.
Oh wait.. Sorry..
*ahem*
JUST DON'T GO!
To quote Jay Sherman: "If the movie stinks, just don't go."
This reboot.... saying it just doesn't work would be way too kind.
The really sad/fucked up part is that the "New Ghostbusters" animated series from back in the early 2000's had a COMPLETELY diverse cast that they could have easily cloned. You had a ginger in a wheel chair, a hinted-at-being-a-lesbian goth girl, a brilliant black guy and a wise-cracking hispanic guy. Instead they went with this shit show, and why? Identity politics. And when this movie is a complete failure you know who'll they'll blame? Men. They'll scream racism/sexism/misogyny/transphobia until they're blue in the face because that is all they can do. Fortunately the gormless masses have begun to wake up to this kind of horseshit and are getting tired of it. Not fast enough for my liking, of course.
This movie will be a towering inferno of shit because everything about it was touched by identity politics. Let that be a lesson to all about what results from putting arbitrary characteristics that people have no control over, like race and sex, ahead of integrity to a franchise or genuine good writing/directing/action/talent.
Judging by the lack of skill, talent or care that went into this project, it's pretty safe to assume that they went with women as a cheap publicity stunt.
If they could have gotten away with it, they would have gone with "Ghostbusters, but with talking CGI babies!" instead.
Fifty years ago, it would have been chimps dressed as Ghostbusters, because haw that's funny, it's a chimp wearing a little Ghostbusters outfit. I bet there's a banana joke coming... and there it is.
This is the limit of their vision.
Blame the hack responsible: one Paul Feig, may he never work again.
Indeed, Paul Feig can join people like Michael Bay and Uwe Bole (however you spell his name) on the list of people who need to not poison the movie industry with their "make money at all costs" attitude.
These things are not equal, except when plugged into the equation "X, but with Y" as a publicity stunt.
And you're really reaching for that indignity, there.
I see nothing up there.
Nothing whatsoever.
How 'bout the 8th Air force. Target: Hollywood.
things that would have been better: Ghostbusters,original cast or at least some of them; are looking for new recruits (sorta like in the ghostbusters game) since they are quite old and want to get out of the buisness and rather want to teach about paranomal activities then to capture ghostm because like allready said, they are OLD. So a team out of males and females who fit the best there is made. A sportsperson, 2 typical geeky nerds (one of them a gamer), a person who also has somehow the last word (the smartmouth, sort like Venkman was back then.) So we follow their training. Capturing their first ghosts, they make imporvments on new equipments aso. Did anyone of you saw in the trailer one of the original ghostbusters? I didn't. That means they only have a very very small role? LAAAAME!!!!!! Which only means it is really a reboot since Ecto1? a New Ecto1? There is allready an Ecto1 *sighs* And the library scene? except the vomiting it is the FIRST ENCOUNTER FROM THE ORIGINAL. I hate this fucking reboot shit. Come with new ideas. I will so not go in the theater for this shit. And if the trailer is that bad, how stupid must the movie be. Damn, even Shamalyan did do a better trailer for his piece of shit this Legend of Ang movie.
Remember how wonderful GhostBusters 2 was?
a) The ghost effects. Screw it, I liked them.
and
b) This is gonna make Ghostbusters II look sooooooo much better on hind-site...
I was expecting some really terrible CG monstrocities, but it actually felt in-keeping with the orignal film, albeit somewhat modernised.
But that ending...
For a start, her head twisted around 360. She's not a ghost, she's posessed by a ghost, so she should be dead after that. The original had a weird premise, but it kept things grounded in real world physics, it didn't indulge incartoony physics and nonsense.
But ignoring that...she gets slapped. "That's gonna leave a mark". really? Is this 1991 again when that was still funny? "THE POWER OF JENNY COMPELLS YOU!" Oh I see, we're making an Exorcist reference! How very current and modern to reference something so new. That's definitely something I haven't seen before.
I expected little and got less from this trailer.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kSpvtwt-4HU
The last time that joke worked, it was used by John Candy. That's how stale it is.
That actually was a good use of that line, too.
(BTW, am I the only one who thought the bowl of dog stuff he was eating actually looked really yummy? Like...a big bowl of flapjack stuff before it's baked.)
Also, it's not even a full 2 minutes of the film, I think it shows potential and worth seeing. Obviously, my opinion. but to just dismiss it off a trailer that's not even 2% of the film seems reactionary and overly harsh, especially with all the nitpicks. I mean sure, agree to disagree, but the level of bullshit being slung at this movie is pretty titanic and doesn't seem like it warrants it, to the point that I don't think it mattered what Feig and crew did, people were deadset on intentionally not liking it whether it's fun or not.
Still, I might go see it just to find out how bad it is.
"awww, I thought it was gonna be He-man"
I always felt though that if you did a movie right the first time, you shouldn't ever remake or 'reboot' it. Ghostbusters is one of those movies, given it's success and status as a cultural icon.
That being said, here we are. I am unsure from the trailer if the movie is a reboot or some sort of sequel. They make references to the original Ghostbusters in the trailer, so it doesn't look like a true reboot. I am hoping one of the new Ghostbusters is related (or at least directly inspired), and perhaps worked with the originals, and when they retired, the memory of them was always kept alive and in the public eye in her (in a very reduced way). Perhaps paranormal activity was down for the intervening time, but lately there was a spike. Well the originals are too old to really do what they used to do, so it is up to her to take up the mantle and assembles her new team to met this new threat.
My big cringe from the trailer was the 'streetwise' female copy of Winston, you think they could have made the black woman a scientist this time and one of the white women as the working class smuck type who signs on for a paycheck.
And if anybody should be blamed for this reboot, it's not feminists to blame but Bill Murray, who repeatedly turned down offers to return to the franchise.
There are just some movies you can't improve on, but you can make them horribly worse. It's not that I am against a all-female cast, but I am against THIS all female cast.
Given what they showed in the trailer, you couldn't pay me to see this movie.
Don't give them ideas!