You poured the gasoline, I lit the match...
So... I'm not usually one to do this, but since I'm outspoken as FUCK and not afraid of controversy, I'm going to vent a bit....
I wont lie to you guys, the past several days have been very... very hard for me, and NO this journal is NOT meant to be an outcry for public support against Person A or B or whatever... Back in early November, I met someone. This person quickly became extremely close to my heart, so much so that I was actually contemplating possibly chasing it in meatspace, though I was hesitant because it would be something new for me that I've never done before, and while I might have been a bit nervous about taking things out of my comfort zone, I was fully prepared to do so if given enough time.
This person, lets call them "Person A", was sweet, caring, affectionate, sexy, and very quickly stole my heart. I've been in some very shitty relationships in the past, and I have some major trust issues with people, but this person had assured and reassured me time and time again that it would be different... and, for whatever reason over the following months, I believed them.
We did everything together... hours and hours of Skype calls every night, gaming, movies, watching fun shows, socializing with friends online, roleplay... we did it all. I like to think that we're both very good writers and had written some fantastic stories in our time together. This person was also an artist, and though they ran into some RL problems here and there, I did what I could to support them. I was worried about things when they lost their job, and even promoted their artwork hoping that things would get better for them...
About 5 weeks ago, Person A and I met someone new, we'll call them "Person B", who very quickly became a friend to us both.. but within the course of the last couple weeks, Person B had slowly come to replace me in literally every way. When I went to bed, Person A and Person B would stay up all night in Skype calls and games, chatting and connecting more and more. Normally I wouldn't have a problem with that, but I quickly found myself becoming the third wheel in my own relationship, and the person that I once counted on and trusted (Person A) had just as quickly tossed me aside like yesterday's news for this new person (Person B). I wont get into specifics and I'm not giving names. They know who they are already.
At this point, I have no method of contact to Person A or B at all. Like I said I dont normally post stuff like this here, but I guess I just needed a way to vent.
This entire ordeal has left me emotionally drained. For the first time in a long time, I actually put my complete trust in someone and they completely disregarded it as soon as someone new came along. I bought them several games for the Xbox One so we could play together, I've gotten SEVERAL pieces of art with them in it because I wanted them to be included in my life and happenings here, spent literally hundreds of dollars to help them feel included and so that we could spend time together. but it was completely irrelevant. Worse yet, I was made into the bad-guy, saying that I was the 'cog in the machine that didn't fit'.....
I dont know why I do this to myself. As much as I like to think that I am now comfortable with the situation, I'm not. I'm really not.
Person A and Person B were both my friends, but no longer. I wish I could at least keep them as friends, but this entire situation has left me incredibly.... bitter.
I'm trying to move on, but its hard, and I know there are some that are going to read this and say "Dude, its only been 4 months", to which I have this to say...
Yes, it was only 4 months, but it was a very involved 4 months. I spent almost every waking moment in contact with Person A. Texting, Telegram, Skype, Xbox, SecondLife, F-list, FA... constant.. and it was fun! We both enjoyed it (or so I thought)...
I guess it was more the shock of it all happening that's got me off my game. Within 10 hours we had broken up and then Person A was listed with Person B.. I've no doubt it was building up before that.
And yes, I understand that people's needs change over time and that people want different things, but for fuck's sake, dont LIE to me about your intentions.... and by that, I mean the fact that Person A justified the breakup with "Its not about Person B, its about us", yet 24 hours later, Person B was sketching Person A's character calling Person A their lover... and 48 hours later, they were listing one another in their FA profiles... I'm sorry, but from my eyes, it sounds like it was ENTIRELY about Person B...
I'm not going to discount online relationships because of what happened to me, but please.. PLEASE be careful when you put your trust in people you meet online. Its easy to lie and be someone else behind a keyboard.
I found out lately that Person B also has quite a record of doing this same thing to several other people in the past, even causing married couples to get divorced as a result. Like I said, I'm not giving names because I don't want this journal to be flagged as abuse, so I'm keeping it anonymous.
All I really have left to say to Person A is that I'm sorry if I did something wrong that ended up driving you away. I was under the impression that you were happy, and if you weren't, and I had known, I would have actively tried to fix it.
And to Person B, I will say that I'm very disappointed in your behavior throughout this entire ordeal. You should know better than to wedge your way into someone else's relationship like you did. But in the end, you won, right? You got what you wanted, and you destroyed yet another relationship to do it.
And so in closing...
To Person B - If I had known more about you at the time we met, I would have actively done what I could to keep you away.
To Person A - We had fun while we were together, but the way you went about us splitting up was completely uncalled for. I tried to keep you as a friend, but you have shown that you would rather cut me out entirely. But you've got what you want now. I hope you enjoy your time with Person B. You've certainly deserved Person B.... Just know that if you ever want to talk about anything, you know where to find me.
Meanwhile, I'll be off relaxing in the warm glow of burning bridges.
And now I get to watch it all burn down...
