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free thoughts & big changes
9 years ago
Hi everyone!
It's been a while since I took a step back, trying to relax a bit and look at myself and at my artworks from a distance. It's been a long while since I wrote a more "personal" journal as this one and, well: I decided to give it a shot and open myself a bit with you all. You awesome furry people out there, all around the world!
I've been an artist active in the Furry Fandom since 2009. Many things happened, many years passed by and a lot of commissioners gave me their money and their dreams to make them reality on paper. Well: digital paper, mostly... but you got the point! Sometimes, when I look back at all my journey and my develop as an artist in this fandom, I realize my style changed continuously, while I've been trying to find my own personal lenguage to narrate my stories. If I look at myself today and I ask myself:
I honestly don't know the answer. It should be: NO. When I work on commissions it's pretty obvious I'm not working with pure ideas in my mind, but it's a constant compromise between my mind, my ideals, my aesthetics and the concept the commissioner is paying and asking for. And it's not just a matter of topics (that's why I decided to create and follow a black list of things I would not draw on commissions), it reflects also on my style choice. I've been creating a lot of mainstream style artworks: there's no shame in it, of course. It was appealing and erotic and that's what mostly I got commissioned for: the more I produced about it, the more it was looked at and asked for: a neverending circle of smut production. LOL! It was truly amazing to me, and it allowed me to find a balance IRL, paying bills for myself and everything. Because of this, I was able to live by myself, by my art, as a true artist. But it was a compromise. It's inevitable, honestly: when you accept working on commissions you have to strech your own ideas to meet the commissioner's desires. I think I've been doing great on this part; but of course this is not representative of myself.
Words, words: I know it seems like an empty flow of words, but this is something I've been constantly thinking about: am I doing this right? If I had to choose - by paradox, of course - to get paid for the things I love drawing, how would that feel? Because of this idea, I've tried creating a Patreon account where to upload my personal artworks, the ones that I truly feel representative of the things I like, of my own style. I'm facing some great difficulties on that side, though: it's not easy to play the part of the "beggar artist", following his visions and hoping somebody passing by will trow him some coins. It's frustrating, but you'd move that compromise towards the artist's side.
I've been thinking even more about it in the past few days, due to a personal fact: I've been contacted by a Staff member on Furaffinity, who told me I'm not being respectful with one of the points of the Acceptable Upload Policy (you can find it here: http://www.furaffinity.net/aup ) and, specifically, on the point 2.5. Fact is I've been creating photomontages using external contents and I didn't declare it, often neither owning the rights on the said photos. Problem is double: it is a retroactive warning and I will never be able to recognize - neither recollect - all the photos used and heavily edited to create some of my past artworks backgrounds. It outlines my laziness and mostly, my problem with backgrounds: they are not even interesting to me and I tend to rush things when it comes to do one, on commission. I know I did something despicable and against the rules: I will faces consequences of this and, probably, some artworks will be deleted from my gallery. I apologize with all my commissioners about this issue and I kindly invite those who will see their commissions disappearing to contact me privately! That said, it worked in combo:
I'm deeply thinking about my style, my commissions and my art. I'll come back with some big news in my May commisisons reopening! Meanwhile, stay tuned: I'll be posting some personal artworks from my Tumblr to better show you how I intended my art to transform, today.
Thank you for all your kindness, your support and your comments! I've reached past 20K watchers and it's truly heartwarming!
It's been a while since I took a step back, trying to relax a bit and look at myself and at my artworks from a distance. It's been a long while since I wrote a more "personal" journal as this one and, well: I decided to give it a shot and open myself a bit with you all. You awesome furry people out there, all around the world!
I've been an artist active in the Furry Fandom since 2009. Many things happened, many years passed by and a lot of commissioners gave me their money and their dreams to make them reality on paper. Well: digital paper, mostly... but you got the point! Sometimes, when I look back at all my journey and my develop as an artist in this fandom, I realize my style changed continuously, while I've been trying to find my own personal lenguage to narrate my stories. If I look at myself today and I ask myself:
"Do you think this artwork is representative of who you are, of you art ideals, of your style and vision of the world?"I honestly don't know the answer. It should be: NO. When I work on commissions it's pretty obvious I'm not working with pure ideas in my mind, but it's a constant compromise between my mind, my ideals, my aesthetics and the concept the commissioner is paying and asking for. And it's not just a matter of topics (that's why I decided to create and follow a black list of things I would not draw on commissions), it reflects also on my style choice. I've been creating a lot of mainstream style artworks: there's no shame in it, of course. It was appealing and erotic and that's what mostly I got commissioned for: the more I produced about it, the more it was looked at and asked for: a neverending circle of smut production. LOL! It was truly amazing to me, and it allowed me to find a balance IRL, paying bills for myself and everything. Because of this, I was able to live by myself, by my art, as a true artist. But it was a compromise. It's inevitable, honestly: when you accept working on commissions you have to strech your own ideas to meet the commissioner's desires. I think I've been doing great on this part; but of course this is not representative of myself.
Words, words: I know it seems like an empty flow of words, but this is something I've been constantly thinking about: am I doing this right? If I had to choose - by paradox, of course - to get paid for the things I love drawing, how would that feel? Because of this idea, I've tried creating a Patreon account where to upload my personal artworks, the ones that I truly feel representative of the things I like, of my own style. I'm facing some great difficulties on that side, though: it's not easy to play the part of the "beggar artist", following his visions and hoping somebody passing by will trow him some coins. It's frustrating, but you'd move that compromise towards the artist's side.
I've been thinking even more about it in the past few days, due to a personal fact: I've been contacted by a Staff member on Furaffinity, who told me I'm not being respectful with one of the points of the Acceptable Upload Policy (you can find it here: http://www.furaffinity.net/aup ) and, specifically, on the point 2.5. Fact is I've been creating photomontages using external contents and I didn't declare it, often neither owning the rights on the said photos. Problem is double: it is a retroactive warning and I will never be able to recognize - neither recollect - all the photos used and heavily edited to create some of my past artworks backgrounds. It outlines my laziness and mostly, my problem with backgrounds: they are not even interesting to me and I tend to rush things when it comes to do one, on commission. I know I did something despicable and against the rules: I will faces consequences of this and, probably, some artworks will be deleted from my gallery. I apologize with all my commissioners about this issue and I kindly invite those who will see their commissions disappearing to contact me privately! That said, it worked in combo:
personal doubts + warning notice + desire to bring something fresh and new to my artI'm deeply thinking about my style, my commissions and my art. I'll come back with some big news in my May commisisons reopening! Meanwhile, stay tuned: I'll be posting some personal artworks from my Tumblr to better show you how I intended my art to transform, today.
Thank you for all your kindness, your support and your comments! I've reached past 20K watchers and it's truly heartwarming!
Thank you, all of you *ᴥ*
And yeah I should definitely do more YCH, thanx for your suggestion!
Capisco queste pippe, onestamente se gli admin del sito hanno fissato certe regole lo hanno fatto sicuramente per ripararsi da eventuali rimostranze di tipo legale. Chiaramente dal punto di vista etico è assurdo vedere come altre forme di "ripresa" di altri contenuti (come ad esempio il ricalco) vengano invece ammesse; dal punto di vista legale, invece, tutto ha senso. In ogni caso ho davvero sempre sofferto nel realizzare i miei fondali perchè non riesco a trovarli davvero interessanti e preferisco concentrarmi sulla figura, quindi cercherò di spingere in questa direzione d'ora in poi :)
A parte ciò, spero che il periodo di riflessione ti aiuti a trovare la strada artistica che più ti soddisfi! :)
Digli, cordialmente, che cercherai di seguire le loro regole. Quest' ultima onestamente è di dubbio valore legale...
Comunque ripeto: alla fine sto vedendo in questa situazione quasi un'occasione per me, per essere più coerente con me stesso e portare il mio stile più personale anche nelle commissioni che ottengo qui. Se ti danno limoni... facci una limonata. Right?
It's not something against smut or porn commissions: I love drawing them! It's just I'll try bringing a less mainstream style to my artworks here, too. You'll see!
and seemed to be personal and vulnerable in your last journal like that,
I really saw the change in your artwork.
In almost every piece I sense a more personal touch
and I can really embrace the feelings you apply to.
Even in some porn art, there's always a spark of honest emotions and passion.