this is an idea I've been trying to place into words

i suffer from anxiety and paranoia, along with my autism, it makes it very hard for me to place my ideas into words
but i have noticed something, how dangerous being selfless is, having to hold things in cause you don't want to bother others

"It seems silly to be worked up over this" "other people don't care"
"if you tell them, you will look silly" "do you really deserve help for something so stupid"
"Normal people can handle this, why the fuck can't you?"

i also grew up with a mother who had cancer for all of my life, and i do remember times being told "at least you don't have cancer"
and yes...i didn't have cancer, it made all my problems seem small

while doing my studies, i started striking on the idea of perspective,
lets take the example of a child losing his favorite toy compared to a adult who just found out their best friend passed away
Real World, these are not the same, but lets look deeper
the child has no experience, this might be the first time he experienced loss, to the child this is a huge deal
now don't misunderstand, i am not saying a child losing his toy should be treated the same way as a person losing their friend
what i am saying, is look at it from all angles

Its why i can't ever bring myself to tell a child "well my mother suffered with cancer for 20+ years"
cause to a child, what is 20 years? what is cancer?

now we got this idea of experience and perspective, lets get to my main point
"It Matters to me"
just cause you think you should be "dealing" doesn't mean you shouldn't at least vent
you may actually lack experience and knowledge
and...well it does matter to you, its why its bothering you, its why its eating at you
"It matters to me!"
i am trying to embrace this as my motto for life,
And, it has helped, not saying its a cure-all for these problems

but i think the first big step for a lot of us, is understanding
we do need help, so we should ask for it

~I've been kitt, you have been fantastic
and thanks for at least looking at my ramblings